Reflecting On The Different

“The greatest love a person can show is to die for his friends.”   John 15:13

April 7th marked the one-year anniversary of my companion dog, Annie’s death.  It has been a year since I walked her, looked into her eyes, felt the warmth of her body as a petted her, gave her cucumber treats.  I miss her companionship, her presence, and my relationship with her.  It does not seem possible she has been gone for an entire year.

Annie and I had a very unique relationship.  Our bond was formed out of the sadness of grief.  After my husband, Dave, died, it was just Annie and me.  We needed each other to survive each day.  Annie got me out of bed and kept me in a routine.  I gave Annie a new purpose to her life by becoming my therapy dog.  She loved the attention and because of her own loss of her master, she easily sensed the emotions of others.

Annie and I understood each other, and words were not needed.  The language of our senses was enough.  I was Annie’s person.  Our hearts were connected.  The emotional support Annie gave me was indescribable.  In the past year, I have recognized the emptiness within me.  I had taken for granted that calmness Annie brought to my spirit.  It was as if God’s presence came to me through Annie at times.  Annie was a distraction from the tasks, the minutiae, and the mundane of life.  She made me smile and focus on enjoying the moment and not take myself so seriously.  She helped me not to think too far into the future of what I needed to do.  Annie kept me grounded in the moment.

When the world became too much, Annie got me out of the mess in my head.  When I was focused too much on work, writing, and the details of daily life, Annie always came to me for attention or to go outside.  Now I see how she was helping me get my focus off the things that do not really matter and enjoy what was around me and enjoy time with her.  She wanted the attention I was giving to all the paperwork.  She taught me the importance of relationships.  Annie helped me re-focus my priorities.

Annie loved being outside.  She loved to walk, explore all the smells she found, and just lay in the sunshine.  Annie and I walked and ran thousands of miles over her eleven years of life.  I think of her each time I run and walk.  She kept me and continues to keep me grounded in the beauty of God’s creation.

Annie made a difference in my life.  Again, my life is different without her.  As we each reflect and remember those who have impacted our lives, yes, we miss them and would prefer life with them.  But we are thankful for the time we had with them.  We remember and give thanks that God blessed us with time and are grateful for their love and influence.

I am thankful God blessed me with Annie even though the pain of loss has been intense.  I would still go through it all again just to have had Annie in my life.  I am always asked if I will get another dog.  I always respond, “Never.”  I do not miss having a dog.  I just miss Annie.

When we experience loss, no other person or no other animal, object or experience will replace that relationship.  It was unique and special.  You will have different relationships, but it is not a replacement.  Different allows for directional changes and new adventures.

I am thankful for the relationship God gave me with Annie.  Annie made a difference in my life and in the lives of those she shared her life and joy.  Annie has taught me to focus on the moment in front of me.  My life was enriched because of Annie.  Each of our lives has been forever enriched and enhanced because of our loved ones.  We are better people because of their love and influence.  We can give thanks and cherish the memories.

Check out my new book – Live Different Moments.  Each chapter has an Annie story.  Annie will guide you in living into life.

My NEW book – Live Different Moments - Available on Amazon -

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

My Books – Living In The Different  and Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper – Available on Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Easter Hope

“May the God of hope fill you will all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”  Romans 15:13

“I hope you feel better.”  “I hope to see you soon.”  “I hope everyone has a good time.”  “I hope life settles down for you.”  We hope for life to get better, sickness to end, healing to happen, and life to be what we desire.  When we define hope, it is usually on our own terms and conditions.  We have a desire for a certain thing to happen.  It is a wish for a positive outcome.  This hope is more of a preference to get what we want and be able to determine or control the end result.  But is that really hope?

Easter brings a different meaning to hope.  It is a hope that this world is not all there is.  A hope that sin, sickness, and death is not in control.  Jesus died for our sins.  We are forgiven and given grace.  We no longer need to hope that we will be forgiven because grace is freely given.  We are cleansed from sin because of Jesus’ death on the cross.  It is now a fact.  It is true.  Jesus died for the sins of everyone and that includes you.  The hope is in what we cannot see but know is true.  We have the hope of eternal life with Jesus in Heaven.

When our loved one dies, we have the hope that they are with Jesus in Heaven.  They take their last breath on earth and their next breath is in Heaven.  This gives us comfort for all who believe.  My brother-in-law, Don, is on this journey home to Heaven.  It gives me comfort to know he is looking forward to being with Jesus.  I live in the hope and assurance that he will be healed and will live in Heaven with Jesus and all those who have gone before him.

Easter brings hope not just for the future in Heaven but hope for our daily lives.  Hope helps me see through the eyes of my heart the things that are not yet visible.  That is, hope is not so much about what I can see as believing with my heart that what has been promised will happen.  We do not hope for what is obvious or what we actually can see.  Easter hope is about trusting that God is with you even when you do not feel or see His presence.  It is believing God is with you even in the struggles and sorrows of life.  Jesus promised the disciples and us that He would always be with us.  He gave His Spirit, the Holy Spirit, to be constantly present within us.

In the lowest times of life, when it is difficult to believe life will be tolerable, livable, or healthy, it is when “a hope of a hope” becomes the next step.  It is knowing that someday you will have hope and trust, but right now you do not see it nor feel it.  It is just holding on to that promise that even when you cannot see the possibility of life being different and you being content, it is clinging to the belief God is still with you in the uncertainty and chaos. 

Easter hope also assures that the past is forgiven.  You do not need to live in the guilt, shame, sin, and pain of the past.  Jesus’ death brought complete forgiveness and closure to the past failures.  Easter hope tells you not to keep beating yourself up for what you have done in the past.  It is forgiven so live forgiven.  You cannot change or alter the past in any way.  Release it to God and live in the hope and grace of Easter.

Easter hope also assures that you can live forward into each day.  It may not be what you expected or planned, but it is what you have.  Hope says you can make the best of each day knowing you are not alone.  You can be grateful and focus on the good around you.  God is with you in each today.  Jesus said, “I am.”  “I am with you no matter what has happened or will happen.”

You do not face anything alone.  Easter reminds us Jesus is alive.  Every fear and anxiety you have is conquered by Easter hope.  Jesus is with you in each feeling, fear, emotion, and worry.  Trust Him.  It sounds so simple, but it is not easy releasing an old habit or pattern of living.  All you have is today.  You can choose to be miserable without hope and live in fear and worry, or you can choose to live in hope and trust Jesus each step.  It does not mean you forget what has happened.  It just means you accept what you cannot change, nor did you choose it.  But you can choose to find hope in the possibilities of today.  Live in this Easter Hope!

My NEW book – Live Different Moments - Available on Amazon -

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

My Books – Living In The Different  and Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper – Available on Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Abide In Memories

“Those who abide in me and I in them bear much fruit, because apart from me you can do nothing.”  John 15:5

I attended the funeral of my cousin, Tom this past week.  His mom and my dad were siblings.  I grew up with his family being an integral part of my life and my foundation.  I remember holidays and family picnics together.  I remember the laughter and fun we shared together.  I remember the cool toys they had at their house.  I remember the love my aunt and uncle gave to me.  As I listened to the scripture and the hymns and the spoken word, I sat in the memories, and it felt like a warm blanket around me.

The Scripture from the Gospel of John, chapter 15 was read in the service.  The word “abide” caught my attention.  It described how I was feeling – I was abiding in the memories of years gone by, but memories that were so very present in that moment.  I could see, feel, smell, and hear those memories as I sat in the church and worshiped God in the celebration of my cousin’s life.

To abide means to dwell, to remain, to be present, to remain stable or fixed in place.  I believe memories abide in our hearts and minds.  God has blessed us with the ability to remember.  It is allowing the bad to fade and the good to remain.

At the meal after the service, I sat with Tom’s brother, my cousin, Dan, and the memories came to the forefront of my thoughts.  My brothers were around me as well as the children of my cousin.  Our memories were first of our grandmother who was the connection between our families.  Grandma was the foundation of our family and our faith.  She was the one with whom we each had a relationship.  We told stories from our childhood about Grandma and how at Easter all fourteen of us ate at the dinner table in her small house and wondered how we all fit.  And after dinner searching for the hidden peanuts in the shell that Grandma had spent hours hiding the day before.  We laughed and shared and for those moments we remained or abided in the past memories.  They are memories that are a part of who we were and remain vital to who are.  Nobody can take them away or even change them.

It is good to abide again in these memories.  I am so grateful for the gift of my Grandma and her influence on my life and my faith.  She was a very proper lady, too, who taught me manners, respect for your elders, and how to play checkers.  The memories do not bring a sadness but a joy that I had these experiences and relationships.

Yes, there is sadness when someone dies.  We rejoice in their life and influence and that they are no longer in pain or suffering.  We give thanks to God that they have been welcomed into Heaven with Jesus.  Our sadness is because we miss them and our life changes because they are not physically sharing life with us.  When we choose to abide in the memories, we keep our loved one alive in our hearts and our foundation is stronger because of their love, life, and influence.

We are called to abide not just in our earthly relationships and memories, but we are to abide in Jesus.  Jesus calls us to abide in Him.  When we abide or stand firm in Jesus we bear fruit.  That is, we do exactly what my Grandma did – she lived her life in Jesus’ presence and shared her love and faith with her family who then shared it with the next generation.

We also abide by remaining present with Jesus and living in the present with Him.  Jesus is our stable and firm place in the storms of life.  When we abide, Jesus holds us, protects us, and helps us to weather the storms.  We are never alone.  Abide in the memories that are your foundation.  Abide in Jesus because He will walk you through the present.  Enjoy some laughter with a cousin, too!

My NEW book – Live Different Moments - Available on Amazon -

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

My Books – Living In The Different  and Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper – Available on Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Possibilities

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”  Romans 12:18

She lives in an “all or nothing” thought pattern.  If what she planned to do falls apart, then she does nothing.  Her brain does not think about any other way or options.  He can only focus on one relationship in his life.  His priority is to one person, and he does not know how to relate or interact with multiple people at a time.  He compartmentalizes his life and does not integrate himself and his beliefs into all aspects of his life.  While it is good to maintain focus, there are other possibilities and options when life does not go as planned. You need not just quit. 

When you live in an all or nothing world, that is, your thinking sees only one way of living, you can become lonely, anxious, and even depressed.  Life did not turn out the way you had envisioned and hoped so you stay stuck in not knowing what to do.  It is like living on a merry-go-round.  You go around and around doing the same thing but making no progress but still feeling empty.  Nothing changes but life around you appears to be moving on.

Then you make a “to do list” thinking it will motivate you to accomplish the tasks of life and move forward.  When you do not complete the list, you feel like a failure and just quit trying.  It is that all or nothing mentality.  Oh, you may have the desire, but you are not motivated.

We want to live into this different life.  We would prefer the old life but that is not reality.  No matter how much we wish for or even try to recreate and not change anything, it is never the same.  We cannot go back.  That season of life is complete.  We take the memories, the love, and incorporate all we have learned into our foundation.

Our focus needs to change from an “all or nothing” to “what are my options?” mentality.  Our “to do list” can change to “Today’s Possibilities.”  Life is different so how we approach life needs to be different too.  All the planning and preparation to create a life just like we desire will not make the life happen because of other people’s decisions and the traumas, calamities, and pain of life.  We try to protect and prepare so that we can prevent but it never works.  So, when life does not turn out as you had hoped or planned, what do you do?  Give up?  Just exist? See no other way of living?  Stay stuck?  None of this works because there is no life in these ways.

I get frustrated when life does not go as I had hoped.  People frustrate me when they do not follow through, but I am learning to accept people for who they are and not base my life on what other people do or do not do.  I am learning to not live in these expectations and not assume other people have the same values and views.  I am learning to say, “That’s who they are.  God, change my focus to who I am in You and to the possibilities You have for me.”

Possibilities are what is more likely to happen.  It is when we are willing to change our narrow focus from what will never happen again to the possible directions that open now before us.  It is giving yourself permission to let go of what you had or wanted to have and accept the reality of the new and different.  And within this reality, you have numerous choices and options.  Sometimes we need to experience all these options.  Just because you try an option does not mean you have to keep doing it.  You can say, “I tried it.”  “Not for me, but glad I had the experience.”

When you are afraid or anxious, it is also creating possibilities that will help you relax, defuse, and release these feelings.  It is recognizing you do not need to stay in these heightened feelings or deny them or escape from them.  It is creating healthy possibilities or options to release them and go in a different direction.  Possibilities are centered on our surrender to God.  It is trusting God to open our eyes to a new way of viewing our circumstances.  It is being grateful for the life that God has before us.

Be open to the possibilities of life that are right in front of you.

My NEW book – Live Different Moments - Available on Amazon -

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

My Books – Living In The Different  and Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper – Available on Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Standing Still

“Now then, stand still and see this great thing the Lord is about to do before your eyes.” 

I Samuel 12:16

I stood beside the water.  It was still and calm.  The water looked like a crystal sea covered with glass.  The light of the sun reflected on the water.  It was peaceful and still.  I looked up and saw the white fluffy clouds lingering on this peaceful day.  I stood still and praised God for the beauty of the day.  In our fast-paced world, we rarely linger and stand still to enjoy the moments of beauty around us and quiet our thoughts just to be present.

Then, I experienced a different way of standing still this week.  I stood still with my friend, John, in our conversation.  He has entered the stage of life where his processing has declined, and he has difficulty expressing in words the thoughts in his head.  He cannot recall the word he wants to use.  He has a thought to share but cannot articulate it.  Instead of pushing forward and trying to anticipate what he wanted to say, I just stood still and waited.  At times I would help but I stayed within the boundaries of our current conversation.  I stood still and did not take away his dignity.

I also stood still in the pain and hurt of others this week.  I listened.  I heard the pain and hurt.  I stood still in their emotions and uncertainty of life.  I stood still with my friend who knew it was time to move and accept the next phase of life.  She knew it was necessary, but she felt the burden of the decision.  I stood still and listened.  I heard her fears and the reality of life that she had to face.  Life was changing and it could not be stopped or even slowed down.  It was time.

I stood still in the disease of my nephew.  I listened to the family.  I heard the emotions and the questions.  I could not fix anything nor were there any words that would bring healing from the pain and certainty of the future.  I was just present.  We want time to stand still for a little while so we can catch our breath and enjoy the moments.  We do not want our children to grow up so fast that we miss these moments.

It is being brave enough to allow yourself to feel the emotions that you are standing still in. Stand still long enough to feel life.  Oh, we try to escape as quickly as possible when the pain and hurt of the world begins to consume us.  It is difficult to face the realities of life.  It is not going there alone.  I take the hand of Jesus when I stand still in the feelings and thoughts of life.  I am not alone, but it can feel lonely.

Sometimes, we want to fix life for ourselves and others.  We keep busy and believe the more we do and accomplish, the situation will become easier or better.  When we pause and rest, anxiety and fear begin to take control.  We may even feel some panic that we must keep working to fix the situation.  Some situations are not fixable by human hands.

This is when we need to surrender to God.  I am not talking about giving up but about trusting God and standing still in God’s presence and allowing God to work and fight for us.  It is trusting in what we cannot see.  It is having faith that God sees the big picture and is working in the situation. 

When I stand still in God’s presence, I am waiting for God.  I am not waiting for God to do what I want, but I am waiting to hear God speak to my heart.  I am standing still until my heart is connected to God and my desire is what God desires.  Standing still slows me down.  My thoughts need to stop living in and planning for the future.  I need to be still in God’s presence that is with me.   I need to stand still and breath in God’s Spirit.  I need to stand in worship and praise that God loves me and cares about every detail of my life.  I need to stand still and let God work.  Stand still.

My NEW book – Live Different Moments - Available on Amazon -

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

My Books – Living In The Different  and Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper – Available on Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Surface Deep

“And I pray that you and all God’s holy people will have the power to understand the greatness of Christ’s love – how wide and how long and how high and how deep that love is.” 

Ephesians 3:18 NCV

“Be like a duck. Calm on the surface but always paddling like the dickens underneath.”  I have heard this old saying in many different versions.  The essence of its meaning is you outwardly show that you are calm and have everything under control but what is happening underneath is that you are working as hard as you can to keep going.  It is the façade that you express.  Your outward appearance is maintained to hide the struggle within.

We live like this in our grief and in the struggles of life.  We fear falling apart and being judged by others as weak.  Therefore, we pretend and keep it under the surface.  When asked how you are doing, you probably respond automatically, “I’m fine.”  We are afraid to admit that we are not fine.  We are falling apart.  We are afraid.  We are empty.  Faith seems impossible. The depth of our being feels the darkness of life.  So, we avoid the deep and all the feelings and emotions that are below the surface, and we exist on the surface of life.  Fear is in control.

Surface living is filled with fear and anxiety.  It is just existing in what you think you can handle and control on your own.  It is relying on your own strength and wisdom.  This creates exhaustion.  The focus is on the expectations of others.  Social media guides decision-making.  Surface living allows media and entertainment to guide your thoughts and values.  Your conversations revolve around people you do not personally have a relationship with, but you watch them in a box.  When others are in control, your emotions and anxiety will be all over the place.  You may be trying to please others who change their minds and change the rules on a whim.  It becomes easier to live in your own little world – go to work or school and then return to the security of your space and escape with entertainment.

You function on the surface of life.  The surface can also be a scary place.  It may feel like nothing will work out.  You are in a heightened state of anxiety trying to maintain control and appear all is well.  You have nothing to ground you and hold onto as you float on the surface.

It is time to break up the surface and dig deeper.  Take the risk and free yourself from the familiar and comfortable.  It is not healthy, but you have done it for so long.  Could there be more to life than just going through the motions of existing without purpose and meaning to your days?

Yes, the depth of life begins with Jesus.  I am not talking about going to Church, the spiritual disciplines, or abiding by God’s Commandments – all which are good and important.  I am referring to living in the constant presence of God.  The depth of life is found in surrender and dependence on God.  That no matter what happens around me which is the surface of life, God is with me. God will not always take me out of the pain or storm, but God will walk with me through it.  When I mess up, God’s love is deeper than my sin and mess ups.  I live forgiven and forward.

After loss, change, and a new season of life, I see life differently.  The minutiae of the world or what society or others deem as important, is not where I desire to place my priorities.  I want to go deeper and find purpose and meaning in each day and just enjoy the moments of life without the anxiety and fear of not pleasing others.  I want to live so close to Jesus that I am content in every situation and know I am living in God’s presence and that is most important.  I am living in the depth of life.  God is in the depths and the heights.  There is no place I can go or be that God is not there.  That is trust.  That is faith.

Living on the surface is always focused on this fallen world which will always disappoint and not meet your expectations.  The surface pulls you away from even desiring the depths of life.  Living deeper is believing there is more – an eternity more.  It is faith in what you cannot see.  But faith that will bring you peace, hope, and joy.

The Sweet Smell of Peace

“You, Lord, give true peace to those who depend on you, because they trust you.”  Isaiah 26:3

When I was a child, I enjoyed the smell of Spring and Summer.  Spring had the smell of the trees and flowers beginning to bloom, the smell of the soil from planting the crops, and the smell of the fresh crisp, clean air.  Summer had the smell of fresh hay, the scent of vegetables from the garden, and yes, even the smell of cleaning out the barn from the cows and sheep.  But there was one smell that is still indescribable to me.  It is the smell of the sunshine on my face and the sense of being totally in the moment and breathing in the peace of that instant.  It is a smell that I still can take within me and feel a sense of complete peace.  The smell of trust without obligations or tasks to complete.  It is a complete freedom that one breathes deep within.

I had a moment recently that took me back to my childhood.  It was not so much a memory as it was a feeling.  I caught a smell – a scent that reminded me of standing in the front lawn of my childhood home and not having a single care in the world and just breathing in the moment.  I felt such peace, and nothing bothered me nor was there anything more important than just enjoying this precious moment.  The sun was shining, and it was as if God was all around me.  That moment comes back to me quite often.

I was sitting at the table in my home this past week, and I felt that complete peace.  I truly felt I was focused only on the present moment with no worries and no thoughts of what I needed to do.  I was enjoying a moment of complete peace in God’s presence.  It was amazing and powerful and humbling.  “Wow, this must be what Heaven is like, “I thought.  Then the day and the schedule and the tasks began to creep into my thoughts and take away this amazing peace and contentment.

We have all sought peace, but have we truly experienced it or even allowed God to bless us with the gift of peace?  Peace only comes with surrender and trust.  Peace comes when we live in the moment and trust God with each step.  Peace does not mean a trouble-free life.  We live in a broken and sinful world which robs us of outward peace and even trust.

When our world is shaken because of loss, our trust is broken.  We trusted God to take care of us and our loved ones in a specific way – not to allow hurt or pain.  We trust God to protect us because we believe and follow Him.  But we tend to define what protection needs to look like.  We give God boundaries and limitations.  We want the loss and pain to rain down on those who do evil and do not follow Jesus.  But God does not see life the way we see it.  Life is not fair.

I see the unfairness lived out in my sweet nephew.  There is no reason for him to go through the struggle of his disease, but through him I see pure faith, joy, and perfection.  I see an angel, and God has placed protective angels all around him.  When God decides someday to release him from this world, we will have an intense sadness but also a quiet peace knowing he is in the arms of Jesus.  He will be whole and at peace.

Death has its own smell.  A smell that is distinguishable but indescribable.  It separates, brings fear and dread.  It cannot be covered up, mixed, or reversed.  But it can be a sweet release from this world of suffering and pain.  It is the smell of leaving one world and going into eternal rest and peace.

I want to breathe in God’s peace and take in the smell of peace. My desire is to experience His abiding presence today not just in Heaven someday.  It is being totally in the moment.  The smell of being totally in the present moment is a clean, crisp smell that goes deep within and brings a sigh of release and freedom.  There is nothing in this world that can bring this peace but Jesus.

So what does peace smell like to you? 

My NEW book – Live Different Moments - Available on Amazon -

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

My Books – Living In The Different  and Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper – Available on Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Dread to Determined

“But there they are, overwhelmed with dread, for God is present in the company of the righteous.”  Psalm 14:5 NIV

She awoke and felt a heaviness in her chest.  She did not want to get out of bed and face the day.  She dreaded what she would have to face that day.  How would she make it through?  She wished the day was already completed, and she was back in bed.  I heard her feelings of dread.

Dread is to anticipate with great apprehension or fear.  It is another way of describing worry or anxiety.  It is thinking so much about the future and what may happen that you lose yourself in the present.  You focus only on the negative and the feelings of doom and gloom, and you have the desire to hide or escape from life.

We may dread doing the laundry, the dishes, or cleaning the garage or basement because we have let everything pile up and now it seems too overwhelming.  We do not know where to begin.  This is where the “one and done” concept comes into play.  We complete one task or one part of it at a time.  We do not fixate on the big picture, but just on one small task at a time.

We may dread seeing someone knowing the person will ask too many questions or that you will have to deal with the person’s attitude or anger.  We have given the person control of how we interact, and the person controls our life and the situation.  Dread enters because of the lack of boundaries or the acceptance that that is just who the person is.  Dread is accentuated by the absorbing of the other person and thinking we need to fix life for the person.

We dread the day because it is not what we want it to be.  We may want life to go back to the way it used to be so that everything can be normal again.  Or we have made decisions that we now regret and dread facing our current reality and the consequences.  We may dread doing what we made a commitment to and now wish we did not say “yes.”

We dread the bathroom scales, the event, the conversation, the consequences, and I could go on and on with examples, but I think you get the pictures.  Dread is anticipating negativity and focusing on how we will accomplish it all with only our power, strength, and ability.  It is future focusing and trying to figure out either how to avoid the situation or orchestrate what will happen.  Dread is just exhausting.

So, how do you overcome and deal with dread?  First, it is telling yourself and telling dread it is not in control of your thoughts and life.  When you awake in the morning, talk first to God not to your anxious thoughts.  Remind yourself and God that today you are doing everything with God.  “God, we got this, mostly You.”  Then take it one step at time.  Do not get ahead of God.  Keep yourself in the present moment.

I am determined to slow myself down to God’s pace not my anxious thoughts that are running out of control.  I am determined to let go and let God have control of each thought and each situation.  I am determined to not allow dread and negativity cloud my days.  That is, I have decided to give control to God and fix my eyes on Jesus not the swirling uncertainty of my emotions and thoughts.  I am determined that God is the center of my life, but I am aware that I will mess up at times, but I will not give up.  I will resolve to refocus when I get off track, and I will keep reminding myself to stay in the present and that in each decision and thought God is present.  I will hold God’s hand.

I am determined to be present with Jesus.  Dread, you are not my friend.  Jesus is my friend.

My NEW book – Live Different Moments - Available on Amazon -

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

My Books – Living In The Different  and Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper – Available on Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Unsettled Strength

“But may the God of all grace who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you.”  I Peter 5:10 NKJV

“That felt unsettling.” “Settle down.”  “I’m settled in my chair and don’t want to move.”  “My stomach is a little unsettled.”  “The ground settled there.”  “The phone call left me unsettled.”  “The news was unsettling.”  I have said some of these statements and heard the rest of them recently.  One of my clients told me, “My life feels so unsettled now.”  Her loss made her life so different.  Her heart ached, and she did not believe she could live without her companion.

To feel unsettled reflects a lack of stability with no purpose.  The feelings of being anxious and worried intensify this unsettling feeling.  Life does not feel right, nor does it feel familiar or comfortable.  Something is missing or wrong.

I, too, have felt unsettled in life.  Each time I have moved into a new house, it takes a while to unpack and settle into the place to make it my own.  When I have changed jobs and churches, it takes time to create a routine, find my place, discern my purpose, and establish relationships.

There is again an unsettling within my soul.  When these feelings come, I begin to observe what is going on around me.  It was unsettling when my husband, Dave died.  Life changed, and I was no longer the same.  I have never returned to who I used to be.  I have found a different life, and I view life from a different perspective.

Now there is another unsettling as life brings the next season of life.  When doors close in life, it is being patient with the next step.  Oh, I admit I have jumped quickly and made decisions I now regret.  I try not to live with this regret, but I focus on forgiveness and what I learned from the decision and move forward.  We cannot change the past, just learn from it.

The unsettling within tells me it is time to do something different.  When we try to keep the same life and routine, we feel empty.  It confirms that it is time to go in a different direction.  God can use us anywhere and with anyone.  Sometimes experiences, places and people run their course.

When my relationship with God feels unsettling, I know it is me who has moved.  It happens when the things of the world and other people’s opinions and views matter more than God’s.  That is when I feel an emptiness and struggle, and I need to crawl into my Heavenly Father’s lap and spend quiet time just being renewed in the silence of God’s presence.  Sunshine helps me to feel God’s Presence.

In this unsettling feeling, I recognize disappointments with those who have not met my expectations and situations that are no longer satisfying.  No amount of work or trying to do the same thing over and over again will help.  It just affirms that the doors are closed.  It is time to dream bigger God dreams.

So what do we do with all these unsettling feelings?  How do we settle our souls?  I turn to Jesus.  There is strength in these unsettled feelings because I recognize my own weakness.  I cannot do life alone.  When I am tired and weak, I need to depend on God’s strength.  God created these feelings within me so I would depend on Him.  God will restore and keep me from falling. When the turmoil begins in our souls, we are probably trying to fix everything by ourselves.  We keep doing the same thing expecting different results.  God allows this discontentment within us so that we will depend on His guidance.  God has great plans for our lives. Don’t settle for the little plans you try to do on your own.

Trust Jesus when you feel unsettled.  Take a step of faith.  Let go.  Allow God to strengthen you.  God will settle your soul as you curl up on His lap of love and grace.

My NEW book – Live Different Moments - Available on Amazon -

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

My Books – Living In The Different  and Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper – Available on Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Burden Is Light

“Come to me, all you who are tired and have heavy loads and I will give you rest….the load I give you to carry is light.”   Matthew 11:28,30

This past week, I have officiated at two funerals, had two conversations with families about hospice, talked with a friend about the loss of her dog, supported a friend through an accident, counseled clients, made a hospital visit, numerous conversations, text messages and emails all related to ministry and the needs of others.  Someone said to me at the end of the week, “You look tired.”  While I am physically tired, my soul and spirit has been filled to overflowing with God’s love and presence.  God has used me and given to me gifts of His Holy Spirit to share with others.

I spent hours with my friend, Tom, before he died helping him to process and release the burdens of this world.  He was carrying the burden of fixing everyone’s life before he could leave this world.  He came to the acceptance of his death and that he had no control on the people he was leaving.  He did not need to make peace in the family.  His life and legacy would be complete at his death, and it would not be influenced by what happened after he was gone.  He told me two days before he died, “I have released it all.”  We talked about the journey of death and when he was anxious, he would just say, “Jesus, I trust you.”  He took the hand of Jesus until Jesus came to take him home to Heaven.

At the end of each conversation I had this week, I prayed with each person and for each situation.  Prayer releases the heavy burden to God.  It was not mine to carry nor fix every aspect of the situation. I was reminded of the words in my Grandma’s favorite hymn, “What A Friend We Have In Jesus” –

“O what peace we often forfeit

O what needless pain we bear

All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer. 

Oh, the burdens of life we tend to carry that cause worry and anxiety to take control of our lives.  Burdens are a part of life, but we were not meant to carry them alone.  Life will have heavy loads of pain, sorrow, sadness, hurt, but when we share the load with God, it becomes lighter.

When I was ordained Elder in the United Methodist Church, the Bishop talked with all the soon to be ordained Elders at a breakfast the day of ordination.  He said something like this – “When you are ordained tonight, you will feel the heaviness of the laying on of hands upon your head.  This is the burden of ministry placed upon you.  When the hands are lifted, you will feel the lightness, the release of the burden.”  This was very powerful to me. I have taken this with me throughout my ministry.  When I rely only on my own strength, knowledge, and ability, I feel the intense weight of everyone and everything.  I think it is mine to fix and control.  It is overwhelming.  But when I go to God first and rely on His strength, the Holy Spirit that is within me and God’s leading, the burden is shared.  God carries me through.  God does not take away the burden but takes the heaviest load of it.

It is being willing to depend on God, to surrender control and humble ourselves knowing that we are not capable of handling it alone.  It is sharing the burden with others, too.  For example, the funeral of my friend, Tom, involved a law enforcement presence.  There were hundreds of details and lots of people involved.  I worked with the leadership of the Highway Patrol accepted their expertise and guidance, and together the service was a dignified celebration of life, and it glorified God.  I shared the burden, and therefore the weight was lighter.

Jesus promises in Matthew 11:28 to carry the load and give us rest.  When we release the burdens of our lives to God, the problem or situation may still be there, but we are not alone.  The Holy Spirit brings peace in the storm and a presence to guide and direct our path.  We can rest knowing we do not have to fix it or control it. God’s got it. Be like my friend, Tom, as he was dying said, “Jesus, I trust you.”  Let’s trust Jesus and allow Jesus to carry the load.

My book – Live Different Moments, Living In The Different and Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper  – Available on Amazon

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Pieces of the Peace

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”  John 14:27

My dog, Annie was saved from an animal shelter by Pati and the rescue group in which she volunteered. Pati had mainly large dogs in her barn when she adopted Annie from the dog pound.  Pati felt sorry for this little six-month-old beagle puppy and would bring her into her home during the day.  Pati protected Annie from all the other dogs. It was with Pati that Annie first felt loved and human touch.  Pati gave her a little piece of love and hope.

In Pati’s last weeks on earth before her cancer took her to Heaven, her husband, Bob, read my latest book to her – Live Different Moments. She was so touched by the stories of Annie.  It gave her and her family comfort.  Annie gave a piece of love and comfort back to Pati.  Pati gave Annie hope and saved her life, and because of Pati’s selfless love, Annie gave love to me, my family, and all those she came into contact with as a therapy dog.

Annie received a peaceful and contented life with me.  She lived life fully and completely and enjoyed the moments of life.  She saved me in my grief and gave me purpose and a will to keep going.  Annie was a piece of Pati’s last days too.  It was through her life and Pati’s deep faith, that she found peace to let go and be received into the arms of Jesus.

A piece.  It is a small part of the whole.  Just like pieces of a puzzle – need all of them to make the picture complete.  We may play a small role in another person’s life or a dog’s life, and we may feel it is not much or has much value or purpose in the whole scheme of life.  It is necessary to complete the life and to add value.  It is being willing to accept our role and live out our purpose at that moment.

Sometimes, it feels like we fall to pieces. We do not have the ability to cope with our current situation. Our mind seems scattered and unable to think clearly.  It is difficult to control our emotions or even name them.  When life falls apart, it feels like you are unable to function.  Nothing is the same nor will it ever be.  When an object falls to pieces, we usually throw it away.  If we try to repair it, the cracks may still show where it was pieced together. 

When our world seems to be in pieces, allow yourself to fall to pieces and experience the emotions.  Life hurts and bad things happen.  We hurt, we grieve, we feel the loss of loved ones, and our heart feels torn to pieces.  Life may never be the same again.  It will be different and feel different.  There will be rough patches as we attempt to find a new life.  You cannot put it back together like it was.  It is going to be different. 

In a puzzle, you have to take one piece at a time and slowly it comes together.  In life, you need to focus on what is in front of you.  One step at a time and slowly create a different life.  You need to trust that the One who created us can help put the pieces of our broken lives together.

God brings healing to the broken pieces of our hearts.  God will show us peace. Peace is knowing God is with us. Peace is the assurance God will never leave us.  Peace brings a contentment to life even in the midst of chaos and brokenness. Trust God to bring peace in your pieces.

Curled Up In A Blanket

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.”  Psalm 46:1 (RSV)

With the recent artic chill of winter, I have wanted to just curl up in a blanket and hibernate like a bear.  It feels too cold to move and much easier to just wait until the cold has passed to engage in life.  But I have still dragged myself out of bed each morning to walk and run in the frigid morning.  Yes, you may think it is crazy to run in below zero windchill, but I feel like I accomplished something at the end of my run.  I did not let the cold defeat me.  Yes, the warmth of my bed was so comfortable, and it was tempting to stay wrapped in my blanket, but my determination to stay fit and spend time with God pushed me out from under those warm blankets.

Life can be difficult, and it feels easier to escape from the hard parts of life.  Sometimes we rationalize that “Someone else will do it better.”  “Why try?” “I’ll mess it up.” Or “I will be turned down anyway, so I need to protect myself from hurt.”  We defeat ourselves even before putting in any effort.  The negative chatter in our heads gets loud, and we feel like a failure even before we put one foot on the floor.

Nobody is immune to these negative thoughts.  It is whether we dwell there and take up residence in these thoughts that makes the difference.  I am attempting to market my new book – Live Different Moments.  I want to glorify God and give my dog, Annie a legacy that her life is still making a difference.  I keep praying for direction, but those negative thoughts creep in especially after being disappointed by the paths I have attempted.  Part of me wants to give up and just curl up in my blanket and relax.  I ask myself, “Why am I creating so much work for myself at this stage of life?”  I could quit, but that is not what my heart desires nor what I believe God desires for me.  God gave me my dog, Annie for a purpose, and God gave me words for the book.  I am called to share God’s word to me with others.  So, I keep praying and trying and attempting and letting go of the frustrations.  I keep surrendering and depending on God.

I share this example from my current situation to let you know surrendering to God needs to be a daily occurrence and with each individual situation in our lives.  We can take the easy path – just curl up and exist.  Oh, yes, we do need to rest, reflect, and renew our spirit and not allow the coldness and negativity of the world to permeate our whole being forever.  Rest is different than curling up and giving up.

The cold chill of the world can consume our thoughts.  That is when worry finds an opening- “Maybe God does not care.” “Maybe I have to work on this by myself.”  NEVER!  God is always with us.  God always cares.  God will not reveal the whole solution at once.  God asks us to take one step at a time.  One and done.  Trust God with the steps.  Rest in God’s Presence.  We need to abide in the “shelter of His wings.” (Psalm 61:4)  This reminds me that God has me.  I do not have to create the steps.  I need to listen and come closer to God so that God will reveal to me each step.  This requires patience to wait on God’s timing not my own.  This is very difficult to do but necessary.

So curling up in the shelter of God’s wings is a good place to be.  God is our strength and our protection.  God wants us to rest in Him.  But God does not let us stay comfortable here.  God pushes us forward to live life.  Life may still have times of being really hard, frustrating, disappointing, but God promises to be with us.  We get to curl up in the shelter of His wings to be renewed and receive His strength and guidance for the rough road ahead.

Here’s the Amazon link to my new book – Live Different Moments

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

Check out my page on Facebook – Living In The Different

Stopped In Your Tracks

“The Lord said to Elijah, “Go, stand in front of me on the mountain, and I will pass by you.” Then a very strong wind blew until it caused the mountains to fall apart and large rocks to break in front of the Lord.  But the Lord was not in the wind.  After the wind, there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake.  After the earthquake, there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire.  After the fire, there was a quiet gentle sound.”                                                       I Kings 19:11-12

On a recent run in the morning, the wind gusts were strong.  It was great when the wind was at my back, and it seemed to push me forward. But when I turned the corner and the wind hit me in the face, it stopped me in my tracks for a moment.  I could not move because of the force of the wind.  “Wow,” I said.  I had met the force of the wind and the wind won for a moment. 

Life stops us in our tracks – a diagnosis, an accident, a death, a disappointment, and the list goes on and on.  “Wow!” We cannot move nor comprehend what just happened.  Life stands still for a moment.  The force of pain, sadness or evil takes over, and it is so foreign to us that we do not know what to do.  We are just numb, and life feels like it just stops.

Life can also take our breath away in its amazing beauty.  In some of my morning runs, I see the sunrise and when I turn the corner and look straight at the brilliant beginning of the day, I have no words.  I just raise my hands and worship the glory of God in the morning light.  God takes my breath and my words away as I witness His glory.

I am sharing some often-used phrases to describe the feelings of life. Life can also give us cold chills.  For instance, when someone who is dying, talks about seeing loved ones who are in Heaven with them now on earth.  When a little boy sees angels in his house and recognizes one angel as his grandmother who is in Heaven.  When someone tells a story of how God protected them and saved them. We get cold chills knowing God is present in those moments.

Life stops us in our tracks in the good and in the struggles.  It pauses us.  The moment is beyond our human comprehension.  Even in those moments that we barely can breathe because of the devastation and pain, God is still with us.  We usually do not see God.  Elijah did not see God in the wind, the earthquake, and the fire but God was present.  God is not in it, but He allows the bad to happen.  We cannot comprehend why God allows it.  Our desire is for bad things not to happen especially for those who believe and worship God.  It does not make any sense.  We are angry and think God is not in control.  That is when we try to take control of our own lives, but we cannot make it better or fix it on our own.  We may think we are being punished.

When life stops you in your tracks, takes your breath away, or gives you cold chills, look around, God is with you.  God is not loud.  God is as close as your breath and is the spirit within you.  God is that gentle sound, that gentle whisper that tells us, “I am with you.”  Do not be afraid.”  Your life will have earthquakes that devastate you, fires that destroys relationships, and winds that send you in wrong directions, but life also gives you the gentle whisper of hope found in listening to God speak to you.  We desire to control life and prevent the whirlwind of chaos, but it is part of life.

Life will stop you in your tracks.  Stand still and listen for God’s gentle sound.  Reach out and take the hand of God.  Live in this moment.  Be grateful for God’s presence in the chaos of life.  You are not alone.  Breathe in the Holy Spirit.

Here’s the Amazon link to my new book – Live Different Moments

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

Check out my page on Facebook – Living In The Different

Disappointed But Not Discouraged

“Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”  Joshua 1:9

I spent each night visiting my friend in the hospital this past week.  After determining what was going on, she wanted to go home and recover in her own comfortable environment.  The doctors determined it was best for her to go to rehab first and have physical therapy.  She was disappointed, but she accepted the decision.  She was not discouraged because she was determined to get stronger and go home and prove to the doctors, she could do it.

Life disappoints.  People disappoint.  They do not meet our expectations.  They do not always follow through and do what we had hoped or even what they promised to do.  Someone may have promised to always be there for you but when you need them, they are nowhere to be found.  You may be disappointed that they do not support you now even though they have been your friend for a long time.

What do you do with your disappointments?  First, we need to define disappointment.  It is a sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one’s hopes or expectations.  Sometimes our disappointment is directed toward a person, sometimes a situation, and sometimes toward ourselves.  First, it is bringing these feelings to God.  Talk to God about how you feel, not to other people.  Release the sadness and irritation.  Do not absorb the failure of others to meet your expectations.  They may not have known what you expected.  Other people have different views of the situation than you do.

When we are disappointed in how we reacted, what we failed to do or what we actually did, it is recognizing we all mess up from time to time.  We are not perfect.  It is forgiving ourselves and releasing the sadness to God.   When we dwell on the disappointments, it can turn to bitterness and resentment.  It festers inside of us and prevents us from moving forward.  We just ruminate on the hurt, and it begins to permeate into all areas of life.  We quit connecting with others because we fear they will just disappoint us.  This can lead to discouragement.

Discouragement is the loss of confidence or enthusiasm for something.  At first my friend, when she heard she had to go to rehab was fearful she would never get out and be able to go home.  But through conversations and prayer, she became determined to prove she could get stronger and go home.  She had the courage to move forward.

I have experienced disappointment.  I expected others to be supportive of my endeavor.  I hoped they would be as excited about it as me.  When it did not happen, I was upset, angry, and at first wondered why I even bothered.  The thoughts in my head were negative and began to convince me to give up.  But through prayer and listening to God and not giving other people control, I did not become discouraged.  In fact, I used the disappointment and turned it into courage to try something new and different.

Courage is the strength in the face of pain or something frightening.  It is facing a fear.  Courage is deep within us.  It comes from our trust and faith in God.  God can use our disappointments as training ground to grow and depend on Him and not the views of other people.

When we live in the expectations of others, they are in control. We will sway back and forth based on their whim and fickleness.  Have the courage to face your disappointments and not let them defeat you or control you.  Allow God to use them as a challenge to trust that God has a plan – one you cannot see yet.  Don’t be discouraged.  God is with you wherever you go.

Here’s the Amazon link to my new book – Live Different Moments -

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

Listen to the Love

“Hear my cry, O God, listen to my prayer.”   Psalm 61:1

Happy New Year!  Each new year, many people make resolutions that are broken a few days into the year.  I do not make resolutions or even set goals for the year.  Over the past eight years, I have chosen a word for the year to be my focus.  Some of the words have been – “Different, Focus, Hope, Adventure, Courage and Light.”  My word for 2024 is “Listen.”  I always look up the definition of the word to help be my guide.  Listen is to give one’s attention to a sound, to pay attention to, to be attentive, to take in.

Ever talk with someone who you think is paying attention and listening to you only to have them respond at the end of your conversation, “What did you say.  I wasn’t listening?”  It is frustrating.  We feel unimportant and not worth their time.  To listen to someone is to want to hear their thoughts and feelings.  It is listening to their heart.

My dog Annie listened most of the time to my voice and commands.  She recognized my voice and came to me when I called her.  But there were times she got distracted by the smells and noises around her.  She heard my voice, but the distractions pulled her in the wrong direction.  As we begin a new year, whose voice are you going to listen to?  The world has so many distractions.  The voices of our past regrets, mistakes, mess ups, and hurts will continue to fill our thoughts if we let them. 

We may also listen to the anxiety and worry that builds within us.  We let the voice of worry and fear into our thoughts.  We live in the “what if’s” – “What if something bad happens?” “What if I had done more?”  So the worry and fear tells us we have to fix and control life on our own.  Worry and anxiety happen when we leave God out of our thoughts and do not listen to God’s whisper of love.

Listen to the gentle whisper of God.  Jesus came down at Christmas as the “whisper of God’s love” to us.  God loves us and gives to us His unconditional love and grace.  Emmanuel means “God is with us.”  The only way to hear and listen to God is to recognize God is with us.  God is constantly present in each of our lives.  It is our awareness of God’s presence that changes.

Love never ends.  I continue to hear and listen to the whisper of love that is now part of my foundation of life.  I hear my mom and my dad, my grandma, my husband, Dave, my dear friend, Ray, my friend, Ruth, and the list goes on and on.  I listen to their love that remains always in my heart.  God blessed my life with this love.  I need to continue to listen to their love.  They loved me for me and when I remember their love and how they lived that out in their own lives, that gives me guidance and direction.  Love continues to speak to me.

Listen to the love of God in this new year.  God promises to be with you through the pain, the struggles, the grief, the sadness, the uncertainty of life.  God does not always take us out of it.  Listen to God even in your darkness.  Be still and listen to the gentle whisper in your heart.  God is speaking to you.  It is up to you to be quiet, to be present, and listen to His love.

In 2024, I am focusing on listening.  Listen.

Check out my website – www.livinginthedifferent.com

Check out my latest books on Amazon

                             Living In the Different

                             Life Lessons of A Lone Trooper

                             Live Different Moments

Available to share with your group or organization about grief, life changes, how to live in the present and so much more.  Just message me!

Happy New Year!

Just Because It's Christmas

“While they were in Bethlehem, the time came for Mary to have the baby, and she gave birth to her first-born son.”  Luke 2:6-7

It is Christmas.  It comes every year whether you plan for it or not.  It comes whether you decorate and have a Christmas tree or not.  It comes whether you buy presents or not.  Christmas comes each year.  So what is Christmas?  Christmas is more than all these outward expressions of the season.  Christmas is the day we celebrate God breaking through into our world and becoming like us so that He could save us from our sins.  God comes to earth in the form of a baby – Emmanuel – God is with us.

Just because it is Christmas does not mean life is joyful and you want to celebrate with dinners, presents, and family.  You may be alone this Christmas or at least feel lonely in the gatherings of family and friends.  Your family may not bring you peace or be peaceful.

Anne Wilson wrote the song – “Just Because It’s Christmas.”  A few of the lyrics states –

“Just because it’s Christmas, doesn’t mean your heart don’t hurt

Just because it’s Christmas, doesn’t mean there’s peace on earth 

Bring your wounded heart to the manger

Fall down at the feet of the King

When thrills of hope don’t find you

He loves you just the same

You don’t have to be OK

Just because it’s Christmas. 

Just because it’s Christmas does not mean your day becomes a magical Hallmark Christmas moment.  Your circumstances may not change because of the outward display of the season and the date on the calendar. Your heart may still hurt.  Peace is no place to be found, and hope is only a glimmer.  Christmas is so much more than what we see around us or even more than what we feel.  It is bringing your hurt and broken heart to the manger and giving it to Jesus.  Jesus comes to be like us so that He could understand our hurts, brokenness, and bring peace and hope into our hearts and into this broken world.  Jesus came to earth to be the Savior of the world and of our lives.

Just because it is Christmas, your daily life may not change but who is with you in your daily life changes.  God is with you right now.  Christmas reminds us of God’s presence.  You are not alone.  Just because it is Christmas reminds you and me that God loves us so much that He came to be with us.  To live among us.  To die for our sins.  To be resurrected and give us the gift of eternal life.

Just because it is Christmas.  Receive the gift of Jesus.  Mingle your sadness with the hope that God is with you in your sadness.  You are not alone.  Just because it is Christmas, do not throw away the day because of how you feel.  Remind yourself that Jesus came today to understand and bring comfort to my heart.  Jesus came to be your Redeemer.  Jesus came as Emmanuel – “God is with us.”

Just because it is Christmas!!

Merry Christmas to each of you! God is with you!

Moments of Christmas

“The virgin will be pregnant.  She will have a son, and they will name him “Immanuel” which means God is with us.”  Matthew 1:23

I have accepted that Hallmark Christmas movies have some truth but not much reality.  It is more fiction than daily life.  There are Hallmark moments we experience in the season of Christmas.  Some light displays and cozy warm fires bring that feeling of the magic of the Christmas season.  But most of the time we live in unrealistic expectations that we can create the perfect moment.  Nothing is perfect all the time nor does every plan develop into a masterpiece.  Every family has some dysfunction and disagreement.  We all mess up from time to time, make mistakes, and our words sometimes hurt or offend.  Not an excuse but reality.

This time of year becomes more stressful and emotional.  Some of the reason is because of loss and not having our loved one to share the special moments.  For others, we desire the connection with family that is disconnected.  For those who try to create the perfect holiday celebration, something always goes wrong.  So, we focus on what we think we can control – the gifts, the decorations, the parties, the meals and all the other details that create a picture-perfect Hallmark Christmas.  But we still experience an emptiness and miss Christmas.

Christmas is Christ Jesus coming into our world.  Emmanuel is the name given to Jesus which means “God is with us.”  Christmas is about God loving you and me so much that He created a way to save us by his Son, Jesus being born in human form to be the sacrifice for our sins.  God came to be like us so He could redeem us.

So, Christmas to me is when I recognize the moments that God is with me.  Christmas comes in moments.  For example, Christmas came as I worshiped God with the Gaither’s at their Christmas Homecoming Concert.  I was surrounded by people singing and praising God as together we sang and listened to the songs of Christmas.  God’s Spirit was in that place and in our hearts.

Christmas came in the moment I listened to those grieving their loved ones but who also spoke of God’s comfort and presence on the journey.  God came through the words He gave me to share with the group.  Christmas came as a widow shared that she had read my book three times, and God gave her hope and encouragement through the words.  God was with her.

Christmas came as I sat with a friend and his wife as they face his decline and imminent death.  We talked about His faith in Jesus, and God being present with Him.  We talked not about the future but the present moment.  God was right in front of him and helping him find moments of peace.  God was and is with them in their goodbye.

I had moments of Christmas as I met with my friend, and we shared our lives and heart.  God was with us and always has been in our lives and friendship.  I am coming to understand that Christmas comes in moments when I recognize God’s presence with me.  God is with me in relationships when I acknowledge His presence and welcome Him into the relationship.

Are you welcoming God into your moments of Christmas?  No matter how sad, lonely, or different this season of Christmas may feel right now, invite God’s presence into it.  God comes to us in our moments when we quiet our souls and receive Him.  Christmas comes in the quietness of God’s whisper – “I am with you.”

Books and Blog

Each week I write a blog and post on Facebook and my website –

            www.livinginthedifferent.com

My last 3 books are available on Amazon or directly through me -

Living In The Different

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

Live Different Moments 

If you purchase on Amazon, please write a review!  Thank You!

Books make great gifts any time of the year! 

I am available to lead seminars, talks, retreats, or speak on variety of topics, for example -

Grief

Living in this different life

How to take steps into life

Hope and Faith

Counseling and mental health topics

And many more… 

My purpose is to help others through the process of grief and find ways to live in this different life.  My hope is that through God, others find the strength and courage to live this different life by focusing on what is in front of them and live in the present moment.

You can message me for books and to schedule talks.

Blessings,

Elaine

LIVE DIFFERENT MOMENTS

By Elaine J. Clinger Sturtz

Is it possible to live differently in your current life with all the changes that have occurred?

Elaine J. Sturtz says “Yes” in this book.  “Yes, this is the life you now have.  You are free to live boldly and abundantly.  Be present in today.  Focus on what is in front of you.  Draw closer to God.  Embrace the change and enjoy each adventure.  Live in the different moments.”

Drawing from her own journey through grief and transformation, Elaine J. Clinger Sturtz offers a poignant exploration of the emotions, changes, and memories that accompany loss. Live Different Moments delves into the complex tapestry of grief, where sorrow and joy intermingle, and tears and hope coexist. Through personal anecdotes, the author shares how love, a constant presence even in the face of loss, becomes an integral part of one's foundation. As readers navigate the chapters of their own lives altered by loss, they'll find solace in the author's experiences and insights.

The book introduces a unique companion on the journey—Annie, the author's faithful beagle. Annie's unwavering presence served as a source of strength and understanding, illuminating the path toward a fuller life amid grief. Through Annie's story, readers will discover valuable lessons on embracing change and living differently. Live Different Moments invites you to change your focus and experience life differently, finding contentment and peace in the process. Join the author in this transformative adventure, hand in hand with God, as you turn the pages of your own new book of life. May you discover the peace and contentment that God has in store for you.

Available on Amazon -

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

Living In The Different &

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

Elaine Sturtz, shares in Living In The Different, that grief is messy, hard, painful, filled with tears and loneliness, but also includes faith, hope and love.  She walks through the journey, the emotions, the changes and hurts.  Each grief is different, and grief changes our lives.  We are different, and how we live and interact with others is different.  The journey of grief takes different forms as we learn to live and mingle joy and sorrow together.  Elaine offers hope, a hope of hope, through these passages of sorrow and loss.  Hope is found in our faith in God who is love, and love never ends.

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper.  The full meaning of a person’s life is revealed in how they live on in the hearts of others.  It is their legacy and influence that bears fruit.  David D. Sturtz made a difference in this world and leaves a legacy through his work – in the Ohio State Highway Patrol, as the first Inspector General of the State of Ohio and as a friend.  Dave was a story teller and giver of life lessons.  The book shares his stories and the fruit of his labor.

Available on Amazon.com

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Also Available in E-Books.

Comfort and Joy

“You will teach me how to live a holy life.  Being with you will fill me with joy; at your right hand I will find pleasure forever.”  Psalm 16:11

I enjoy listening to the songs of Christmas. Songs that share the story of the birth of Jesus are the only songs that fill me with joy.  I love the music which makes me sway back and forth and fills my heart with memories.  The words express the coming of Jesus into our dark world to bring hope and salvation.  What was it like for Mary and Joseph to know that their child was the Son of God?  What did Mary really know?  The songs fill me with wonder and pull me into the reason for Christmas.

As I listen to the songs of Christmas, certain songs remind me of people who either sang them or loved them.  “O Holy Night” reminds me of my dear friend, Nancy Welshon, who sang this song every Christmas Eve until she was 91 years old.  “Go, Tell It On the Mountain” reminds me of Walter Fox who was in the church I grew up in, and Walter always requested the song the Sunday after Christmas.  “Away In a Manger” is the first song I remember singing as a child. “Silent Night” brings the image of candles and the darkness of the sanctuary being illuminated by all the candles as they are slowly lit throughout the sanctuary.

The music and the words go deep within my soul.  While I enjoy the lights of Christmas and the trees looks beautiful, my soul is not deeply touched by the décor of the season.  This year is the first of many Christmas seasons where I am seeking joy.  Joy has been mingled with grief for so long.  I feel the grief and sadness this year with the loss of my dear companion dog, Annie.  The words of “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen” seem to resound in my heart this year-” Oh, tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy, oh tidings of comfort and joy.”  I seek God’s comfort and His joy.

I recently had lunch with my almost 90-year-old dear friend whose wife went to Heaven this year.  He found comfort knowing his wife was healed in Heaven and with Jesus whom she loved.  As tears filled his eyes as we talked about his dear wife, I felt the joy of God’s presence with us and the comfort of God’s hand upon us.  In that moment, my soul was filled with comfort and joy.  Christmas had come to me in that moment.

What is comfort and joy?  Comfort is a state of ease from pain and grief.  It is a relief from the burden of carrying the sadness and sorrow alone. Comfort comes when we allow God to help carry the burden.  Joy is an inner contentment.  We cannot sustain joy and comfort on our own.  God provides the joy.  Nehemiah 8:10 states – “The joy of the Lord is my strength.” The only way we have true joy is by living close to Jesus and receiving His joy and comfort.

Happiness is different from joy.  I find happiness in external possessions and events and circumstances.  Happiness only lasts for that one moment. I have noticed that the secular songs are about happiness – “Happy Holidays” and “Home for the Holidays.”  This year, I find that the songs that do not share Jesus make me sad not happy.  Joy is found only in Jesus.  Joy is within us and is not based on external circumstances.  Joy is lasting even when it mingles with sorrow and grief. 

This Christmas I am seeking joy.  Joy that is found only in Jesus when we choose to walk with Jesus even in our sadness and sorrow knowing we can find contentment in His presence.  Seek the presence of Jesus this Christmas.

Listen to the Whisper

“And these are only a small part of God’s works.   We only hear a small whisper of him.
    Who could understand God’s thundering power?”  Job 26:14

She said whenever I could stop by, she would love to see me.  I heard the whisper in her heart.  She needed to talk with me. He whispered, “I still love her.”  I heard the loneliness in his heart.  She asked for prayers for her son.  I heard the whisper of her heart and the fear inside of her.  We may all have whispered, “God, I believe you are here.  I just need to hear you whisper to me.”

A whisper.  It is to speak softly using one’s breath without one’s vocal cords.  It is to softly speak without wanting someone else to hear.  God whispers to us so that we will move closer to Him to hear Him speak.  God appeared to Elijah in a “still gentle voice” or in a “soft whisper” or “the sound of a gentle blowing” found in I Kings 19:12. Are you listening for the whisper of God in your heart?

The world is a loud place, and even the holidays can be loud and overwhelming.  Some of you had a noisy Thanksgiving dinner with lots of people with the football game blaring in the background on the TV.  The stores are loud with Christmas music, bright decorations, and signs of sales and way too much stuff to buy. Others of you experienced quiet in these past days.  You were alone, but your thoughts may have been loud with worries and fears.  You hear the noises of the season and just want to escape it and want it to be over.  You hear the loneliness shout at you.  The quiet is deafening and it is difficult to hear the whisper of God over the shouts of pain, loneliness, and the emptiness of your heart.  The noise and the quiet can both be loud.

Before I begin my morning devotions, I pray, “Lord, help me hear your word to me today.”  Recently, I have changed my prayer – “Lord, may I listen to your whisper to me today.”  I not only want to hear but to listen.  My desire is to listen to God speak His Word to my heart each day.  To hear is an involuntary response to sound.  We may hear a sound but not take it within or process it.  It is like someone who hears you talk but does not listen or comprehend what you actually said.  To listen is to actively pay attention.  To listen is to receive, respond, and have the desire to understand and take the sound or words within the heart.

My desire is to listen with my heart and to take in God’s word for me each day.  To me Christmas is God’s whisper to a hurting and broken world.  Jesus, the Savior of the world and the Son of God, comes quietly into this world as a baby.  He is born in a small village in a place where animals live.  Born to an unknown couple – Mary and Jospeh.  God had whispered to Mary and Joseph, and they listened to Him. 

So, how do you hear the whisper of Jesus this Christmas?  It is not in the media and the loudness of society’s clamor to buy.  It begins with your heart.  Listen with your broken and anxious heart.  Jesus came just for you.  Step out of the craziness of the season.  Do not get lost in the busyness and all the tasks.  Enjoy the simple things of the season that are right in front of you – holiday lights and parades, family time, hot chocolate, reading the Gospels, worship, fellowship, and singing the Christmas songs.

My focus in December is experiencing adventures and pulling closer to people I choose.  My desire is to listen to God whisper through His Word and through the people God puts on my path.  It is listening to God and embracing the God appointments He has for me this season.

God whispers His joy through the eyes and smiles of a child.  Be childlike this Christmas.  Find that inner joy that no sorrow or pain can take away.  I see God’s whisper in His creation through the sunrise and the sunset.  I hear God’s whisper in the wind and the rustle of the remaining leaves.  I listen and the moon whispers, “I reflect God’s light.”  That is my desire – reflect the light of Jesus this Christmas.

We cannot hear God’s whisper if we do not take the time to be still.  To sit and quiet our thoughts and to listen to our souls.  Allow your soul to sigh – to release the worry, the fears, the hurts, and the loneliness.  Listen to God’s whisper of love and compassion.  God whispers – “Jesus – Emmanuel – God is with us.”