Hearing The Gesture

“My children, we should love people not only with words and talk, but by our actions and true caring.” 1 John 3:18

“If you ever need anything, just give me a call. I will be here for you.” Someone has probably said this statement to you at one of your lowest times in life. It may have been after the death of a loved one, a trauma, or a challenging situation. The words were spoken with sincerity, but you did not believe it was an open invitation to call anytime. You never called, and they never reached out to assist you. Then someone brought you peach cobbler in the midst of your move just to let you know they cared. Their action made you feel loved and that someone really cared and followed through with more than words. Actions tend to speak louder than words.

I told him I was here for him and if he needed anything, to call me. He called and needed a ride to the hospital and needed someone to be with him during the process. I gave him my word and followed through with action. I know what it is like to be at a low time in life and just need someone to reach out and show they care by their actions. He felt alone and heard only negativity in his own head about himself and felt the rejection from others. I heard God’s call to love with words and action. It was my purpose at that moment.

I have been listening to Pastor Jim Stauffer’s sermon series on the Five Love Languages based on Gary Chapman’s book with the same title. Those Five Love Languages are – Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Touch, Acts of Service and Quality Time. We each have a predominant way we receive and give love. All are important and enhance relationships. We may use different ones in giving and receiving love. The key is to experience the love and care in the way it was given.

In our times of sadness, loneliness, and grief, I believe we need to see love in action. These love languages are expressions that can be seen, felt, touched, heard and experienced. When life has changed and everything feels different, it is difficult to accept words because they seem empty and trite. Our thoughts are full of words that tend to go in circles and no hope is found in all these thoughts and fears. It is hard to focus when you are going through loss, pain, grief, and struggles. We get lost in the words of the past and the future seems broken. Words seem meaningless.

In these low times, someone offers and tells you to call them if you need anything. It feels empty and you wonder if they said it just to be polite. You know you will never call even if you need them. You need someone to do for you what you cannot do – reach out. To care and show it by their actions. To do something even when you decline their offer. You push away but you want them to pull closer at the same time.

You want out of the mud hole of despair. You hear the words spoken and the directions given on how to get out of the mud hole, but in your sadness, loneliness and negative thoughts, it does not seem possible. You need someone to reach out and take you by the hand. You need action. Someone to shovel your snow-covered driveway. Someone to bring you cookies or a hot fudge sundae. Someone who would take you out to dinner. To watch a movie with you. Hug you. Sit with you in the Hospital. And the list is endless. You will decline all the offers when you are at your lowest, but you know it is what you need.

We hear love in words, but we experience love in action and true caring. Love with words and actions. God does. God loves us so much He sent His Son, Jesus into our world to live and die for us so that when we die, we will live with Him. God gives us His Word – the Bible, but He also gives us His presence and shows us His love in creation. God loves you even in your lowest times and even when your heart is broken. God comes to you through other people, His Holy Spirit, the beauty of nature, through worship and music, and even through cookies and Hot Fudge Sundaes.

Hear the action. Receive the love. Need some chocolate chip cookies?

My Books are available through different venues

• Tea Story in Upper Sandusky

• Personally through me

• Amazon

Living In The Different

Live Different Moments

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

Hearing The Gesture

“My children, we should love people not only with words and talk, but by our actions and true caring.” 1 John 3:18

“If you ever need anything, just give me a call. I will be here for you.” Someone has probably said this statement to you at one of your lowest times in life. It may have been after the death of a loved one, a trauma, or a challenging situation. The words were spoken with sincerity, but you did not believe it was an open invitation to call anytime. You never called, and they never reached out to assist you. Then someone brought you peach cobbler in the midst of your move just to let you know they cared. Their action made you feel loved and that someone really cared and followed through with more than words. Actions tend to speak louder than words.

I told him I was here for him and if he needed anything, to call me. He called and needed a ride to the hospital and needed someone to be with him during the process. I gave him my word and followed through with action. I know what it is like to be at a low time in life and just need someone to reach out and show they care by their actions. He felt alone and heard only negativity in his own head about himself and felt the rejection from others. I heard God’s call to love with words and action. It was my purpose at that moment.

I have been listening to Pastor Jim Stauffer’s sermon series on the Five Love Languages based on Gary Chapman’s book with the same title. Those Five Love Languages are – Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Touch, Acts of Service and Quality Time. We each have a predominant way we receive and give love. All are important and enhance relationships. We may use different ones in giving and receiving love. The key is to experience the love and care in the way it was given.

In our times of sadness, loneliness, and grief, I believe we need to see love in action. These love languages are expressions that can be seen, felt, touched, heard and experienced. When life has changed and everything feels different, it is difficult to accept words because they seem empty and trite. Our thoughts are full of words that tend to go in circles and no hope is found in all these thoughts and fears. It is hard to focus when you are going through loss, pain, grief, and struggles. We get lost in the words of the past and the future seems broken. Words seem meaningless.

In these low times, someone offers and tells you to call them if you need anything. It feels empty and you wonder if they said it just to be polite. You know you will never call even if you need them. You need someone to do for you what you cannot do – reach out. To care and show it by their actions. To do something even when you decline their offer. You push away but you want them to pull closer at the same time.

You want out of the mud hole of despair. You hear the words spoken and the directions given on how to get out of the mud hole, but in your sadness, loneliness and negative thoughts, it does not seem possible. You need someone to reach out and take you by the hand. You need action. Someone to shovel your snow-covered driveway. Someone to bring you cookies or a hot fudge sundae. Someone who would take you out to dinner. To watch a movie with you. Hug you. Sit with you in the Hospital. And the list is endless. You will decline all the offers when you are at your lowest, but you know it is what you need.

We hear love in words, but we experience love in action and true caring. Love with words and actions. God does. God loves us so much He sent His Son, Jesus into our world to live and die for us so that when we die, we will live with Him. God gives us His Word – the Bible, but He also gives us His presence and shows us His love in creation. God loves you even in your lowest times and even when your heart is broken. God comes to you through other people, His Holy Spirit, the beauty of nature, through worship and music, and even through cookies and Hot Fudge Sundaes.

Hear the action. Receive the love. Need some chocolate chip cookies?

My Books are available through different venues

• Tea Story in Upper Sandusky

• Personally through me

• Amazon

Living In The Different

Live Different Moments

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

Anticipated Prediction

“But you do not know what will happen tomorrow! Your life is like a mist. You can see it for a short time, but then it goes away. So you should say, “If the Lord wants, we will live and do this or that.” James 4:14-15

This winter weather has been full of surprises, but it has also been typical winter weather for Ohio. You make plans and anticipate that the forecast is true, but then you cancel plans because of the ice storm. Then you do not make plans because of the prediction of a storm and nothing happens. You feel you just wasted your time and could have enjoyed a great adventure. You make plans to stay inside and then the sun comes out and the blue sky is clear and inviting. You make plans to take a walk and then the snowstorm emerges.

We try to anticipate the weather, and meteorologists make predictions. A prediction is a forecast for the future. It is an educated guess basically. We live in the Midwest where the winter can contain all four seasons in a single day. It can be harsh and cold for weeks or mild and sunny. It can change without warning or prediction. We even try to fool ourselves with a ground hog and the prediction of an early Spring. No matter what, Spring only comes when it is good and ready to come. We hope and dream, but reality is, it will come whenever the weather decides to change and commit to staying Spring. We anticipate Spring in the cold of winter.

Anticipation. To look forward to, to expect. Some of you anticipate life will be good and what you hope for will happen. Keep up the positive attitude and outlook. Proud of you. While others of you anticipate doom and gloom. If something could go wrong, you know it will go wrong for you. You predict disaster, heartache, and falling apart if it is connected to you. Your motto has been – “If something can go wrong, it will.” I get it. Life seems to go from bad to worse for you, and it feels like a dark cloud follows you around.

Life did not turn out like you expected, anticipated nor predicted. You had hopes and dreams and life went in a different direction. We want to make choices for our lives, and we do have some choices. Not all of our choices are healthy and good because we make mistakes and are easily swayed by other people and the views of society. We do have a choice in our attitude toward life. We live in a fallen and broken world and bad stuff happens to good people. We try to understand and make sense out of something that makes no sense at all.

So, you may feel that life is not what you predicted it to be at this stage of life. Or it may be better than expected. Either way, life is what is in front of you, and you get the choice to find peace and contentment or fight against it all the way. Your choice. Let’s anticipate something that is true no matter who you are or what life has given you. God is with you. You are not alone. God created you to be who you are and there is a reason for you being you. Only you can do what you were created to do.

God promises you this current moment and to be with you. God may not take you out of the current storm, but God will walk with you through it. This is the life you have. Nobody else can make it better for you. It is your choice. Let us look forward to walking with Jesus and finding moments of good. You need to look for the good. It may not be what you anticipate that will bring good. It is being open to new possibilities and adventures.

We may also anticipate how others will react to us. We worry and become anxious in this anticipation because we want to please others and make them happy. Sorry, that is not your responsibility. You may anticipate other people’s reactions and try to prepare how to respond to them, but this anticipation will only bring anxiety and fears. You cannot control another person’s response. Because of your history with a person, you may predict how they will respond. It is learning to accept a person for who they are and not absorbing their responses.

We tend to have a preconceived view of what life should be and how it should look. What if we let go of this idea, and trust that God has a different plan and way for us to view life. I can choose to be miserable because what I anticipated did not happen, or I can choose to enjoy the surprises of life and find good in the moments. Let’s choose to trust God in each moment of life.

My Books are available through different venues

• Tea Story in Upper Sandusky

• Personally through me

• Amazon

Living In The Different

Live Different Moments

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

Reactions To Life

“Come to me, all of you who are tired and have heavy loads, and I will give you rest. Accept my teachings and learn from me, because I am gentle and humble in spirit, and you will find rest for your lives.” Matthew 11:28-29

Recently I had an allergic reaction to a medication that I tried. It caused a rash and many other physical symptoms. It was suggested to give relief to my congestion, but it caused a very unpleasant experience. I learned how my body reacts to something foreign to it. It has made me more sensitive and cautious about what I put into my body even when it is helpful to others. My body had an adverse physiological response, that is, I had a negative response to a substance.

In life, what causes negative responses that affect us physically? I have a client that is dealing with canker sores in her mouth caused by her absorbing all the emotions around her. Her body is reacting negatively to internalizing these emotions. She is trying to process through them and make healthier decisions for herself. She knows she needs to let go of fixing others and trying to control their behaviors. She is allergic to the absorption of emotions.

How are you responding to the negativity, chaos, and unwanted events in your life that trigger a boatload of emotions? Do you absorb the feelings of others and try to fix everybody and the situation through control? Do you run away and escape life? Does it feel like you are allergic to everything and breaking out all over? You may be having an allergic reaction to life.

I have learned some important truths through my experience this week. First, just because something is healthy for someone else does not make it healthy for me. This relates to life situations, too. How one person deals with a situation may work for them, but it may not work for you. Each person was created unique not just in looks and behaviors but also in emotions and how we react to situations. When we compare ourselves to others and wonder why we cannot do what they just did, it is because we are not them.

Next, I learned that negativity is like something foreign to the body. It does not fit well, or process well nor even settle well into our systems. Negativity permeates into every fiber of our being and makes life feel overwhelming and miserable. We begin to pile everything together and see all of life as bad when it really is not. It is separating the emotions and dealing with each situation by itself. Just because I had an allergic reaction, it did not change my relationships, my faith, my work, and my purpose in life. It just temporarily changed how I was feeling.

I learned that rest is essential for my body to heal from reactions and illness. Pushing through is helpful to a point, but rest is needed to heal completely. Jesus calls us to come to him when we are tired and have heavy loads. Jesus will give us rest. Yes, we need physical rest, but we also need spiritual and emotional rest. That is, we need to rest in the presence of Jesus and allow Jesus to renew us from within. We tend to deplete our spiritual reservoir because we rely only on what we put into it. God’s grace never runs dry, we just think we have to earn the grace that we use. That is a false statement. Grace and love and forgiveness are freely given.

Sometimes, we think we need to get our act together first before God will love us and accept us as His child. We try to do all the right things, fix our guilt by staying busy and overcome our failures by volunteering more. Then we are exhausted even more. We think we should be through the grief, over the pain, healed from the trauma, and work harder to overcome the guilt and shame. We beat ourselves up. Stop reacting the way the world says to react to life.

Maybe, it is time to listen to Jesus’s words again,” Come to me, all of you who are tired and have heavy loads, and I will give you rest.” Trust Jesus. The rest is more than physical rest. It is rest from trying to prove to God that you can earn His love and grace. It is rest from feeling you should be better and farther along on the journey. It is time to rest in God’s loving arms and just be God’s child who is loved not for what you do, but for whose you are – God’s child.

Rest in the freedom that God has you. You are not alone in this struggle of life. Stop reacting to everything as if it is your responsibility. Sometimes things just happen, and we have to let it work itself out just like my reaction to medication. My body had to release it. I had to rest my body. Focus more on releasing instead of reacting. Rest in God’s presence and let God work it out.

My Books are available through different venues

• Tea Story in Upper Sandusky

• Personally through me

• Amazon

Living In The Different

Live Different Moments

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

Impact of the Loss

“Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his faithful servants.” Psalm 116:15

Lee passed away today. Harry died six weeks ago. Yale died several weeks ago. She texted me that Cathy died this morning. I read in the newspaper Judy died. He called to tell a classmate passed away. And the list goes on and on. We receive notifications in many ways. People die every day. Our paths may not have crossed for years. They were just in a season of our life. We were aware of who they were and knew them by name and face. We may have had a mutual involvement through church, school, sports, an event or organization. Their death still impacts life. It may not change our day-to-day life or make life different like the loss of a close loved one. The loss still makes us reflect on their life and legacy and life in general.

For instance, I remember Lee’s impact on Jr. High youth when he taught Sunday School and was involved in work camp. I remember his honesty and truth in writing as a reporter. I remember Harry’s quiet strength and love for his wife. Yale’s smile was contagious, and his relaxed joyful attitude made others enjoy being with him. Cathy’s faithfulness to Jesus and her ministry leaves a legacy and a prayer group. So many memories even when grief is not intense.

This type of grief is different. It is one more person we have known that is no longer residing here on earth. We celebrate that they lived and we knew them. We are grateful for their legacy. We are sad for their families. So, what do we do with our grief? It does not feel right to be sad since the relationship may have been more distant or in the past. I believe we need to pause and give thanks for their life. They lived and their life had meaning and purpose. They were loved. We need to rest for a moment in our own thoughts about how our paths crossed. Give yourself time to sit in the memories and give thanks for a life lived.

These reflections have had an impact on some of my recent visits. I visited several of my ninety plus friends and realized that they will soon be residents of Heaven. There will be an empty place in my life. My heart is full, and my soul enriched because of these friendships. I have chosen to stay involved in their lives because of the history of our connections. One asked me the next time I visited to assist in planning her funeral. She is not sad about death but is at peace with the end of this life and the beginning of life in Heaven. Another friend with memory issues talked about her love for Jesus and one day God will say to her, “Hey, Sue get in here.” Being in Heaven with Jesus filled her eyes with tears of joy.

Then there is the impact of loss that we experience in tragedies in our world. For instance, the loss of life in the recent airline crashes. Immediately, we feel the pain and sorrow with the traumatic deaths of innocent people who were on their way to their destination. The deaths bring a mixture of feelings and heartache. Death should bring a pause in our lives, a time of reflection and prayer, and a gratefulness for the gift of life.

There is still an emptiness whenever death occurs. On our walk a few days ago, a small deer lay dead in the ditch. It had been hit earlier that day, and I felt an overwhelming sadness. It may have been one of the little fawns we had watched grow up and run through our woods. All of God’s creatures whether animals or humans are important to God. Any loss of life should affect us in some way, and we should not become completely numb to loss. Each life is precious to God.

There needs to be a balance in the impact of loss. Not so numb and walled off that we do not feel anything, but not extreme that everything is a gut punch. When someone you know dies no matter when you saw them last or the closeness of the relationship, recognize the loss of life and the emptiness of our world. Nobody will do exactly what they did, the way they did. That is the uniqueness of human life. Give thanks for the gift of their life and the legacy they leave and the impact they made on your own journey. When there was no personal connection, pray for their family and friends and give thanks for their gifts to this world.

Recognize the loss. Send a card. Go to the funeral. Say a prayer. Remember.

My Books are available through different venues

• Tea Story in Upper Sandusky

• Personally through me

• Amazon

Living In The Different

Live Different Moments

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

Frozen In Time

“The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?” Psalm 27:1

This winter I agree with the bears. Hibernation for the winter is sounding pretty good right now. With the below zero temperatures and unusual snow accumulation in the South and blizzard conditions in the northeast, being curled up asleep seems like a great option. In this current polar vortex, life seems to stop. Schools and businesses close and events are cancelled. Staying inside a warm house seems to be the choice of many people. Some of you find it cozy and enjoy the time inside to do fun activities and tasks. Others of you just shut down and spend mindless time scrolling social media or binge watching something on TV. The cold has frozen your motivation.

There are situations in our lives that seem to freeze us in time. That is, we are hyper-focused on the situation and the rest of life does not seem to matter. When we are in the middle of cancer treatments and illness, life feels frozen in the disease. When a tragedy has happened, life is at a standstill, and you are numb to what is around you. In grief, life seems to be frozen in time. Every reference is based either on life before the loss or after the loss. You begin a story by saying, “That was before he died.” “That happened after the fire.” Life is frozen in time in a calamity or trauma.

Relationships may also hibernate for a while because of distance in miles or distance through life changes. Like a bear, friendships may awaken for a period of time. You connect the past into the present and remember. Sometimes these moments create a continuous relationship and other times just for a brief moment. You remember and cherish the memory, but life has moved in different directions.

When you experience loss and change, you feel like you want to hibernate from life. Life is so different, and you cannot grasp how to live into this new way of life. This hibernation is like a resting state. You may remain active on the surface and complete tasks and the necessities of life, but inside you are a jumbled-up mess of feelings, emotions, and indescribable confusion. Life stopped moving forward and you want to curl up and just stay where life changed. It seems impossible to function. So, for some of you, the change and loss has become your reality, and you are choosing to just rest in life right where the hurt happened. That is fine for now. Rest. Hibernate.

The reality is that life does go on. The bears wake up. Winter turns into Spring. Events happen again. The winter freeze thaws. But life does not go back to normal after any type of loss, disease, or change. Life is now different in every aspect, and you get to decide, “Do I stay frozen in the life I had and allow fear to take control?” That is, do you just exist and function in life and retreat into your loneliness and empty familiarity?

Listen to the bears. Be in a resting state for a period of healing time. Give yourself permission to rest, to heal, to feel, to reflect, to pray, to release. The bears know life goes on. When they awaken, life around them may have changed, but they adjust and continue with life. They learn to live in the moment in front of them. Learn to live in the moments in front of you.

You cannot take steps into this different life alone. God is your light and salvation. God directs your path and gives you grace. God is your stronghold – your foundation, your strength and protection. Begin to thaw. Trust God in this different. God walks into your hibernation and frozen state and takes you by the hand. You have a desire to move forward and trust, but you have no strength or motivation. The strength to take steps forward come from God’s Spirit that is within you.

Hibernate for a while if you need. Allow the God’s healing spirit to thaw your heart. Hope forward.

My Books are available through different venues

• Tea Story in Upper Sandusky

• Personally through me

• Amazon

Living In The Different

Live Different Moments

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

Brokenhearted

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and he saves those whose spirits have been crushed.” Psalm 34:18

Hurricanes, floods, and fires have filled the news as many people in our country have experienced the devastation and loss of their homes and possessions. Lives have been lost, and nothing will be the same in many communities. When everything we have acquired in life in way of material wealth has been destroyed, life takes on a different perspective. People are at a loss as to what to do now. Everything that was familiar is gone. Their emotions are raw, and they are broken in spirit.

While I personally experienced the loss of my home and possessions because of a fire when I was a teenager, it was a single incident not the mass destruction that our country has witnessed. But I remember the emotions and feelings connected to the loss. Everything you regarded as your own no longer exists. Your identity had been wrapped up in where you live, what you own, and what you regard as valuable. Life is viewed through these material possessions. Your heart is broken, and you have no idea how to live and face life.

It is important to grieve the loss. Emotionally, we fall apart. We experience something that is so foreign to our life, and it is difficult to process that what happened was real. I remember having dreams about the fire for months. Sometimes, I would wake up and think for a moment everything was just a dream, but then the reality would hit me. I felt the same way after the death of my husband, Dave. I would have dreams about him, and I would wake up believing the past months were just a dream, and then reality would hit, and I would fall apart.

Sometimes the only way to begin to heal is to fall apart. To fall apart is to be at our lowest but also the most vulnerable and broken. It is knowing we do not have the ability to fix or heal or put our lives back together. This is a full surrender. “I need help. I have no clue what to do next.” We are brokenhearted and feel abandoned and alone.

We each have events, experiences, and situations that break our hearts. We have no strength on our own. It is in the brokenness of our lives that we begin to assess where we have placed our values and focus. After my house fire, my view of material possessions changed. They are necessary and needed but not the most important part of life. Relationships are central. My relationship with those I love and my relationship with God takes precedence. I began to focus on the blessings not the losses.

This is difficult when our heart is broken and the grief is intense, but healing begins when we change our focus from the loss to the blessings. This does not mean that crying and grief and sadness is wrong because when we have experienced loss and tragedy, we will have these feelings in some way the rest of our lives. Our heart will always remember the brokenness. Healing begins when we focus on the blessing of having our loved one in our lives. It is focusing on what we still have – our own lives and the lives of others we love. It is focusing on what is most important in life. It is knowing that God is with us in the brokenness. God is the only one who walks with us in the brokenness and is the One who brings healing and hope out of the ashes of our lives. I cannot explain why tragedies happen, but they do. We try to make sense of something that makes no sense to us.

All I know is that God is close to the brokenhearted. That means God is close to you and me. God saves and rescues our crushed spirits. God wants to carry the burdens of our lives and give us hope when life seems so hopeless. It is accepting that this tragedy and brokenness has happened, how do I take steps into the life I now have? It is knowing God walks with us each step. It is not easy to start over, but God was with us before, and God will be with us now. You can live even when your heart is broken. You live in the healing.

Pray for those whose lives have been torn apart from all the tragedies. Pray for those around you whose hearts are broken from loss and change. Pray for yourself and allow God to bring healing and hope.

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My Books are available through different venues

• Tea Story in Upper Sandusky

• Personally through me

• Amazon

Living In The Different

Live Different Moments

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

Settling For Less

“I sought the Lord, and He answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.” Psalm 34:4

For over three years, I have been making a protein shake for every breakfast and most lunches. My shakes include a banana, blueberries, spinach or some type of greens, protein powder, water, and ice. Sometimes the shakes are icy, sometimes watery, and sometimes smooth. I have used a standard blender and accepted that the shakes are fine. I purchased a new protein powder that created a foamier shake, and the small blender could not hold it all. So, I decided to purchase a larger one made specifically for smoothies. Was I ever in for a shock, my protein shakes are now amazing and smooth. My Ninja makes the best shakes. They are creamy and delicious. Who knew a different blender would make such a difference.

I had settled for less than the best, and I accepted that it was fine. I was still drinking them and getting my protein. Now, I see that I was settling for something that was just acceptable. I have experienced the amazing shakes and would never go back to making them the old way. I was choosing mediocre when at my disposal was quality.

So, what does a blender have to do with life and living fully? I believe a lot. I have been reflecting on how my situation applies to life. We tend to cling to old ways that we believe are fine and acceptable because it is how we have always done it. We tend to keep going in the same direction and same focus knowing that it is not totally fulfilling, but it will do. We still do the necessary tasks and function as well as the average person.

I believe God has so much more to give us in life, but we get pre-occupied with the little we have and hoard and hold on to it. We feel we have lost so much through the death of loved ones, dreams dashed, and what we thought would happened and it did not. We try to hold on to what we have. We fear losing it, and if we take another risk and try to live again, we will experience hurt and pain.

Fear holds us back. We know what it was like to hurt and experience the pain of loss and separation and we do not want to go through that again. So, we hold on to what we can control and just function in our little space. I believe God has so much more to give us. When we cling so tightly to what we have – what is left to the life we had or what we have accumulated – it never is satisfying. We spend so much time and energy trying to keep it safe and keep ourselves from being hurt. We pull inward and live in anxiety, fear, and worry.

Wow, all this from a blender? Yes! Sometimes we have to take the risk and experience life to the fullest. It may not be what we had but it will be a new adventure. When we settle, we also complain about the struggles and what we don’t have and the unsettledness within us. Yes, life is risky, just like buying a new blender – don’t know if we will like it or if it will work. But we will not know until we try it.

Take the risk. Buy the new blender. Go on the trip. Take the adventure. Change your routine. Try something new. Eat something different. Go to the gym. Reach out to a friend. Take a walk in the snow. You will not know if you like it, until you try it.

You can also do it afraid because God promises to be with us and to deliver us from our fears. That means we need to surrender our fears to Him. We may fear getting out of the rut because it is so familiar but unsatisfying. We know we are settling for less, but do not know how to change or motivate ourselves to take the steps.

Surrender and relinquish control to God. Trust Him. Take one step at a time. Take the risk. Do it afraid.

My Books on Amazon

Live Different Moments

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

Living In The Different

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

Sifting Through

“Let us discern for ourselves what is right, let us learn together what is good.” Job 34:4

My cousin shared his memories with me about our house fire when both of us were teenagers. My cousin came with his dad the day after the fire, and together with my dad, they sifted through the rubble in search of anything of value. Dan recalls the smell that lingers in his soul even to this day. He had never experienced this type of tragedy, and the sight and smells have remained within him. During this Christmas season, I sifted through my tote of memories in search of letters that I have treasured from my mom. In the sifting through, I found two letters from my dad which are probably the only ones he ever wrote to any of his children.

At the end of the Christmas season, we sift through the sale racks and the half off Christmas decorations to find a hidden treasure. We sift through the bargain racks in hopes of finding something perfect. Each time we sift through something, we are looking for something of value, something that has meaning to us. To sift through is to discern if what we find has value and purpose. Sometimes it only has value because of the memory.

I no longer write New Year’s resolutions or goals, but now I choose a word for the year. This year I have chosen “Discern.” To discern is to recognize or identify as distinct, to perceive, to determine, to sift through. When you discern, you understand, comprehend, and grasp the meaning. For me, I want to discern God’s will and direction for this year. I want to pray and talk with God and listen for God’s voice in my heart. But in this discernment, I need to sift through the chatter of this world and my own thoughts. My desire is to discern what God is saying to me which may be different than what others perceive from God. Discernment is personal and specific to an individual. It is sifting through the noises and voices around me and finding the One that gives value and purpose to my life.

As we begin 2025, we reflect on the past year and what we had hoped would happen. We review in our head the good and the struggles, and we discern the purpose and meaning of the events of the past. In these ruminations, we also wonder why certain things happened and also seek to find the blessings among the challenges. We remember the adventures, the relationships, and the struggles. For some of you, the new year brings a different life because of the loss of a loved one. Some of you are experiencing the journey of health issues and the diagnosis of an illness. You are trying to discern why you or your family member has to go through this difficulty.

To discern involves our reflections on the past. We are trying to understand the “whys” of life. Why did this happen? Why him? Why her? Why now? In this understanding also comes an acceptance that I may never grasp the entire meaning, but I need to trust that God is still with me and in the situation. God was with you in the past and that does not change. I need to learn from the past but not continue to live in it and allow the past to control my present. The past is our foundation for the present. This is also discernment.

My word for 2024 was “listen,” and I was more intentional on listening to other people and what was really important to them. I was more focused on listening to what God was saying to me in the Bible and in my quiet time. To me, discernment is the next step to deepen my relationship with God and with all my relationships. To discern involves listening but with a focus on understanding the meaning of not only what is being said but how does it apply to my life or my relationship with the person. It is discerning my purpose for today.

May this new year bring discernment for you as you listen to God and the next steps God has for you. Remember, it is one step at a time and focusing on what is in front of you.

My Books on Amazon

Live Different Moments

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

Living In The Different

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

Reflection of the Light

“The true Light that gives light to all was coming into the world.”  John 1:9

I took the picture of our back yard that is with this blog and noticed the reflection of lights in the picture.  The Christmas tree lights reflected off the back door when I took it.  Later that day, I noticed the reflection of the sunlight through our windows onto the floor.  It brightened and warmed our home.  In my counseling office I have a prism in the window given to me by the funeral home who cremated my dear dog, Annie.  When the sun light hits it directly in the afternoon, small rainbows bounce around the walls and the floor of the room.  It always makes me smile, and I feel Annie’s spirit all around me.

In the darkness of the evening, the Christmas lights in the park reflect on the pond and make the lights even more magical.  Lights shine brightest in the dark.  Light illuminates the darkness.  Light reflects on glass and other surfaces.  To reflect is to give back, to throw back, to bounce back.  Light bounces off the surface but does not absorb into it but reflects off of it.

As we conclude another year, what are your reflections of 2024?  What has this year been for you?  For some of you, the year has been filled with challenges, struggles, and sadness.  For some of you, grief became an uninvited companion.  Some of you experienced the joy of new life, new adventures, and new experiences.  For some of you, life stayed about the same and familiar.  This year has reflected changes and a different life for most of you. 

I keep a log or journal of adventures or events, and each day I write down something that happened that was significant or noteworthy.  Then on New Year’s Eve, I read through the year’s log and reflect on all that happened.  It is also a time to give thanks to God for walking me through the year and for the blessings and the challenges of the year.  As I reflect, I am aware that God has been with me through it all – the highs and lows, the joys and the challenges.  God placed people on my path and gave me a purpose each day.

For the past nine years, since my husband, Dave, died, I have not written resolutions or goals for the year, but I have chosen a word to be my focus. My word for 2024 has been “listen.”  I have been reflecting on how I listened this year.  I listened to clients in counseling sessions.  I listened to friends and family and shared life together.  I listened to experts in various professions in making decisions.  I listened to my heart and moved back to my hometown.  I have tried to listen to God each day for my purpose that day.

To listen is to give one’s attention to a sound, to pay attention, to be attentive and take it in.  It is not just hearing a sound, but it is taking it within your soul and understanding what another person or what nature is saying to you.  To listen is to be reflective and give back your focus and acceptance to the one speaking.  It is to reflect the light of that person into your heart.

As you reflect on this past year, recognize God has brought you through this year.  God has illuminated your darkness with His light.  God has listened to your heart.  This year may not have been what you desired.  You may feel sad, lonely, angry, different, or confused.  It is in the darkest times of our lives that the light of Christ shines the brightest.  The light reflects the glory of God and does not absorb the emotions but brings hope into them.

We have just experienced the Christmas Season when God breaks through the darkness of our lives and world and gives light and hope to everyone through the birth of Jesus.  Emmanuel – God is with us. The Christmas lights reflect the joy of the season.  When you pack away the Christmas lights continue to reflect the light of God’s love.  Do not put away your kindness and the spirit of compassion and love with all the decorations.  Reflect the true light of the world – Jesus – to this broken world every day.  Christmas is not just a day – it is a season.  A season that never ends because the light of Jesus shines in your hearts.  It is not so much about what is going on around you but what is within you. In the darkness of your heart, God still shines His light of love and hope.

Reflect the light of Jesus.  Allow the light of Jesus to shine within your own heart too.

My Books on Amazon

Live Different Moments

 Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

Living In The Different       

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

Same Story

“Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.”  Luke 2:19

When I think of the Christmas season, one story comes to the forefront of my memories.  When I was a teenager our house burnt down on Sunday, December 23rd.  My life changed in many ways that day.  I had no place to call home, and I lost all my material possessions.  My family had no home, but we still had a farm with animals that needed care.  I lived with my grandmother for three months.  My brother who was still living at home, went to live with another brother.  My parents lived in a small RV on the farm to care for the animals until other arrangements for a home could be made.

Out of the ashes of this tragedy, God still brought good.  Our church family and community rallied around our family and provided support and needed clothing and financial assistance.  At a young age, I learned that relationships are more important than possessions.  I have told this story many times throughout my life, but it reminds me not to focus on material possessions and that God can bring good out of the bad and brokenness of life.  The story never grows old as I remember God’s love and care through others during this tragedy.

Christmas is a time to share stories and memories.  Not everyone has happy memories, but God can bring good out of the bad.  God can redeem the memories.  Some people remember Christmas presents, Christmas programs at school and church, snow, favorite foods, worship services, and most of all the people with whom we shared the season.  We remember how we felt, and the emotions connected to the joy of the season.

When my siblings gather, we begin to share memories of Christmas and retell the stories.  We all tell the same story first.  The story always goes something like this – “remember when we had to buzz (cut) wood every Christmas morning before we could unwrap our presents.”  We heated our house with two wood stoves, and my dad knew he could get all of us to help with the wood when the motivation was Christmas presents.  It is the same story that never grows old.

The story of the birth of Jesus is the same story that is told each year at Christmas.  This story never grows old.  It is timeless and never loses its relevance and power.  Mary and Joseph travel to Bethlehem.  Mary gives birth to Jesus and lays him in a manger.  The angels appear to the shepherds. The Shepherds come.  The wise men bring gifts.  God comes to earth in the form of a baby to redeem the world.  The story never grows old.  It never changes.  God still comes.

I wonder how many times Mary shared the story of Jesus’ birth throughout her life.  Telling of the angel appearing to her announcing that she was chosen to give birth to the Messiah. How Joseph did not leave her but believed her and the angel who appeared to him.  The journey to Bethlehem and giving birth, and all those who came to see the baby.  It was the same story that never grew old for Mary.  She treasured the memories.

Christmas is a time of memories and stories.  When we tell and retell the stories, Christmas becomes more than just a day.  The stories become alive again.  The memories are real and a part of who we are.  The memories are about relationships that gave meaning to our lives. 

Never stop sharing your memories.  Tell the same old story over and over again because it has meaning to your life.  You are who you are because of these memories and the people who are in these memories.  Your loved one comes alive again in your heart as you tell the same stories.  The stories reveal the love that never ends. 

Christmas is a love story.  God loves us so much that He came to earth as a baby to redeem us.  Keep telling your story.  Keep telling the Christmas story.  Both stories are about the deep love that is in your heart. 

My Books on Amazon

Live Different Moments

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

Living In The Different       

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

He Still Comes

“And the angel said to her, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you…”   Luke 1:35

She sat in a chair all by herself in the corner of the room looking peaceful.  I approached her and spoke her name.  She looked up and smiled.  I was familiar to her though she did not know my name or our relationship.  I had come to visit with her and brought her chocolate chip cookies.  She took the two cookies eagerly and slowly ate both of them with such enthusiasm.  We listened to Christmas carols on my phone and sang along – “Away In A Manger,” “Silent Night,” and then “Go, Tell It On The Mountain.” 

I played Josh Turner’s version of “Go, Tell It on The Mountain” and the words of the chorus are -“Go, tell it on the mountain, over the hills and everywhere, Go, tell it on the mountain that Jesus Christ is born.”  As these words were sung, the Holy Spirit came upon her, and she began to cry tears of joy.  She spoke through her tears, “Those words are so beautiful.  I feel the Lord all around me.”  It was evident that the Holy Spirit came upon this dear soul whose mind was ravaged by dementia.  She still knew Jesus and her heart was full of His love.  At that moment, Christmas came for me.  We prayed and her faith flowed from her tears.  I felt the Spirit as I held her hand.  I experienced Christmas – God with us.  Jesus came.

I walked into Sharon’s room.  She was sitting alone in her room, lost in her thoughts watching mindless TV.  Her face lit up as she recognized me.  “Oh, Elaine, it is so good to see you.”  Her joy came in our conversation.  She was so grateful I came.  It was God who nudged me to visit.  To take the time and listen to who God was putting on my path today.  As we prayed together, I experienced Christmas – Jesus came again.

Each visit that day was filled with purpose and meaning.  God gave me a plan for the day to bring hope and joy to others and in return God came to me reminding me what this season of Christmas is all about.  It is God breaking into our world and being with us.  God breaks through even in the traditions of the Christmas season.

I watched the Christmas parade in my hometown.  It felt like a Hallmark evening with the town filled with people and excited children.  The children were expecting lots of candy to be thrown on the parade route and Santa to close out the parade.  There were bands, floats, trucks, singers, a Christmas Vacation float with the station wagon and tree, and the Grinch.  One float from a local church shared the true meaning of Christmas through the Nativity scene with a lighted cross and church in the background.  I experienced the joy of Christmas through all of the magic of the parade. But I knew the Spirit had come upon the parade when those announcing each exhibit in the parade stated when the Church’s Nativity float passed by – “Jesus is the reason for this season.”  They were not ashamed to publicly declare Christmas is about Jesus.  Jesus came again.

Christmas is not just a day or a season.  Yes, there are many traditions that we only experience in the Christmas season like Christmas parades, Christmas lights, presents, and the nativity.  Christmas is so much more, but when we believe it is just a day or season, then when it is over there is a sadness and unfulfillment.  We prepared and now it is completed, and we have not experienced the Spirit coming and filling us with a sense of joy and wonder.  Sometimes we spend so much time buying, wrapping gifts, decorating, making the meal for that one day.  The family comes, eats the meal, unwraps the gifts and spends a few hours.  Then it is over.  All that work for a few hours.  Your focus was on the task of preparing, but what are you preparing for?

When loss enters the Christmas season, the emptiness is already there even before beginning any preparations. You are preparing to be sad and feel the loneliness of the day without your loved one.   Christmas needs to be more than a day.  Christmas comes every day we allow Jesus to come anew into our hearts.  Every time we are touched by a song like “Go, tell it on a Mountain.”  Every time we listen to God and make the visit, the phone call, bake the cookies, give a hug, say a prayer.

God still comes.  God’s Spirit will come upon us even in our sadness and emptiness.  God comes in our loneliness and unfulfillment to overshadow the darkness and give us the light of life.  God still comes to bring hope to the hopelessness of this world.  God still comes even when we do not feel like celebrating.  God still comes to be with us.  Allow God to come in your brokenness, heartache, and sadness.  God comes just to be with us. 

Great Gifts For Christmas 

My Books on Amazon

Live Different Moments

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

Living In The Different       

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

Winds of The Season

“Behold a virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and his name shall be called Emmanuel which means God with us.”   Matthew 1:23

The wind was ferocious, blowing everything in its pathway including some light snow.  The windchill made the temperature in the single digits.  It’s Ohio and it is December.  But why on the night when the Christmas Gathering was happening?  It did not deter us from attending the Christmas Homecoming service at the church where I grew up.  I was sad that the gathering was small because people chose not to come out at night in the wind and cold.  The wind may have prevented a large crowd, but it did not take away the spirit and joy of the evening.

Together we sang Christmas carols, listened to Scripture and a devotion, and breathed in the beauty of the sanctuary decorated for the season.  I was given the privilege of sharing memories with the group and now I get to share those memories with all of you.  Christmas memories.  We all have memories of Christmas times from our childhood.  Memories are what fill our hearts and create traditions.

My first memory of Christmas in Wesley Chapel Church is singing “Away in a Manger” as a little girl and sharing Bible verses that my mom, who was my Sunday School teacher, taught us in class.  I remember Christmas Sunday worship with Walter Fox leading the singing and the organ and piano being played by several different saints – Naomi, Irene, Arlene, Vera.  Walter always chose “Go Tell It On The Mountain” as one of the songs we sang together.

At the end of the Sunday School time, the organist would begin to play “Here Comes Santa Claus” and from the back of the church, Santa would make his entrance carrying a bag of goodies for the children.  My dad did not believe Santa Claus belonged in the church and would usher our whole family out the door during Santa’s entrance. But someone always managed to give us the white bag of candy and an orange as we went out the door.

I remember going Christmas caroling to the homes of all the older members of the Church.  Walter and Berniece always shared homemade cookies with all the singers.  George and Emma invited everyone into their home to sing.  We had to introduce ourselves to them and usually tell them who our parents were.  Then we would end our time at Arlene and Harold’s home for food and fellowship.

The memories come from events associated with Wesley Chapel Church.  The memories are about the people in these events.  As I shared at the service, I began to name the saints that sat in those pews who are now in Heaven.  We were surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses.  These saints were the foundation of my faith.  They brought me to the manger.  They brought me to Jesus who is God with us.  They were the spirit of Jesus that blew through my life and brought me to the saving grace of Jesus.

Memories are the winds that blow through us in each season of life.  Memories seem to be more intense in the holiday season, especially Thanksgiving and Christmas.  I believe this is because of the traditions that are associated with each one.  Those traditions are connected to people who are no longer on this earth and therefore the holiday is not the same.  We expect those traditions to continue like they always have and for life to stay the same.  We expect everyone to show up like they have every holiday season.

But the winds of the season blow in unexpected directions and create change, loss, and unexpected intensity.   Sometimes the winds are cold, and we do not want to step out into the intensity of change. Even in all the wind, the memories remain like a firm foundation.  Nobody can take away your memories because memories are filled with love.  The love of those who have surrounded you, and like the saints of Wesley Chapel, brought me to the greatest love of all – the love of God found in Jesus.  God will allow the wind of this season to blow, but it will not take you away from His love. 

This Christmas season, allow the memories to come and fill you with a sense of hope and gratefulness.  No matter how you feel.  No matter what you have experienced this year.  Jesus still comes to be with you.  Emmanuel – God is with us.

Great Gifts For Christmas 

My Books on Amazon

Live Different Moments

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

Living In The Different       

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

 Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

Rays Of Hope

“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”  Hebrews 11:1

November usually brings less sunshine and more gloom to the weather which tends to affect our mood and energy level.  I received a ray of hope and sunshine this past week in several ways.  First, my niece, Raya, spent the afternoon with me.  Her name is Raya Hope, and she is a ray of hope in how she loves life.  Her energy is boundless, and her creativity and conversation are delightful.  We baked cookies, and she skillfully and with great detail, decorated the cookies.  A hug from Raya is like touching hope!

Then, we walked through the Christmas Fantasy of Lights at the local park.  They open the park for people to walk through the light display and experience the beauty of the season through lights.  For me, the ray of hope came through the lights of the nativity displayed throughout the park.  It also came in the faces of the children who were mesmerized by the lights. 

A ray of hope rang our doorbell recently.  When I answered the door, there stood my neighbor and her young daughter who was full of joy and smiles.  They had made a gift for me.  It was a beautiful ornament for our Christmas tree.  She was so excited to share this gift with me.  It is proudly displayed front and center on our Christmas tree. 

As I sat in my living room, a ray of sunshine came through the gloom of the day.  It was as if a spotlight had been placed on my Precious Moments Nativity set and the sun beam lit up the stable with baby Jesus.  My niece, Raya, had been rearranging the scene and placed all the figurines in the tiny stable.  It was crowded but everyone was close to Jesus.  She wanted everyone to fit in the stable and be around the baby.  This gave me another ray of hope.  Is that not what God wants for all of us to be as close to Jesus as possible?

Rays of hope come to us out of the darkness of the day or our hearts.  Hope is the glimmer of light that reflects into the darkest recesses and for a moment fills us with a sense that life is good.  Hope is like reaching into the darkness and trusting that God is there even when we do not see or feel His abiding presence.

As we enter the Advent Season and make plans to celebrate Christmas, hope needs to be central in our thoughts.  Jesus comes into the darkness of our broken and fallen world and brings hope.  Our world is divided, and the negativity is expressed constantly in all media.  Your personal life may have been shattered because of loss, illness, changes, and hurt from others. You may be wondering how to take a step into this brokenness.  Hope is not denying all of this is around you.  Hope is changing your focus and looking for the rays that break through the darkness of life.

Jesus comes as a baby to become like us and to be the perfect sacrifice for our sins.  But I believe he also comes as a baby because a baby bring hope – a ray of hope.  We tend to smile when a child smiles and see the beauty in the simple aspects of life.  Hope is focusing not on the world and its glitter and tinsel this season, but that God loves you and me so much that God came to earth in the form of a baby to be with us.  To be our ray of hope.

You are not alone in this season.  Jesus is God with us.  It is reaching out in the darkness of your life and heart and trusting that God will take your hand and walk you through and sometimes carry you.  Look for rays of hope – moments that make you smile and lighten your burden.  Moments that remind you there is good in this world and good people around you.  Moments when you experience the presence of God with you.  Emmanuel – God is with us.

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You will find all my past blogs on my website – www.livinginthedifferent.com

My Books on Amazon

Live Different Moments

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

Living In The Different       

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

Grateful For The Rhythm

“The Lord your God is with you; the mighty One will save you.  He will rejoice over you. You will rest in his love; He will sing and be joyful about you.”  Zephaniah 3:17

Last year, we attended the Gaither Christmas Homecoming Concert and discovered a new group that was traveling with the Gaithers.  We enjoyed their style of music, the blending of voices and the power of the Spirit in them.  We began hearing them more on the radio and decided to check out their touring schedule.  They were going to perform at a church less than an hour from us, so we put the date on the calendar.  I thought it was strange that no tickets were needed since the group has had several number one songs on the Christian charts.

We invited a couple to join us.  We arrived at the church, and I was shocked how small the building was and wondered about their connection to this church.  I was grateful for the opportunity to hear this group – The Sound – and now I was amazed to share in this intimate fellowship.  The pastor and church had a connection to the group and one of their songs – “First Church of Mercy” was an expression of how this little church lived out their love for Jesus.  I was grateful to experience the sweet rhythm of genuine love for Jesus.  God was truly singing joyfully over this Church.

The sweet spirit of Jesus was in the room and evident in the voices and faces of the members of The Sound – Rob, Levi and Jacob Mills.  The evening was truly a God moment filled with Christmas songs to prepare us for the season of Advent – the coming of Jesus, and an evening to feel God rejoice with us.  We bought one of their Cd’s and played it when we arrived home.  One of the songs – “Never Not God” has been one of our favorites.  A few of the lines state – “He’s never not faithful, never not kind, never not perfect, never not on time, never not good.”

This song has a unique way of expressing God’s unchanging presence.  God is never not God.  God is always the same.  Always with us.  Always loving us.  Always on time.  While we are not consistent. We go up and down in our feelings, our attitudes, and our emotions.  Some of you are more laid back than others, but we have our rhythms of life.  That is, we have a pattern for our lives and when changes occur, it affects our routine and tempo of life.

So how do you deal with the rhythmic changes in your life?  My friend told me she had some days recently that she had less energy, and the grayness of the weather was affecting her mood and desire to accomplish anything.  At first, she thought that it was wrong to have these feelings as a Christian, and that God would not love her for feeling this way.  But then, she told herself that God loves her no matter her moods, and that she was grateful for the up and down rhythms of life.  She was resting in God’s love.  God still loved her.  God was still with her.  It is being grateful for the slower tempos of life and knowing God is still God in these times.  Our moods and emotions do not change how God feels about us.

In a recent conversation, the person said in the past she accepted that God was directing her life and was joyful and accepting about God’s plan.  But now she did not like what had happened and was angry that God changed the plan she had for her life.  We talked about some of the reason she was feeling this way was her lack of control.  You do not have to like what happens in life nor do you have to like God’s way of handling the situation, but God is still God and God is still with you and still loves you.  It is being grateful for the rhythm of life even when you do not understand it.

I enjoy songs that have a slower tempo as well as those that have a joyful uplifting rhythm.  Both have a purpose, and both bring me in closer relationship with God as I sing, listen, and feel the Spirit through the music.  Just like in life, there is a purpose for the difficult paths and the mountain tops.  God is still God in each one, and God calls us to rest in His love as He sings His song of love and faithfulness to us.  It is like inhaling with gratefulness and exhaling in trust and obedience when we do not understand or like it.  It is trusting God even in the difficult rhythms of life.

Now breathe in with gratefulness and exhale in trust.  God is never not God.  God is with you in the rhythms of your life.

You can check out The Sound – www.thesound.org

*****************************************

You will find all my past blogs on my website – www.livinginthedifferent.com

My Books on Amazon

Live Different Moments

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

Living In The Different       

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

Needed Memories

“My God will use his wonderful riches in Christ Jesus to give you everything you need.”  Philippians 4:19

His smile and gentle spirit are his legacy.  My cousin, Ron, took the journey home to Heaven, and we celebrated his life in a very traditional and humble service which expressed how he lived his life.  When I think of Ron, I first remember his smile, his head nod of recognition, his easy-going and laid-back view of life, and his deep love for Jesus, his family, and the land.  Ron was a farmer, a community servant, and a loving husband, dad, grandfather, cousin, and friend. He was a gentle man with a quiet spirit that served faithfully, humbly with a sweet smile and a touch of humor. 

When we gather at funerals to remember our loved ones, we share memories.  We need these memories to celebrate their life and that they made a difference in this world.  I so enjoy the stories and hearing how a person influenced other people and made an impact in their corner of the world.  We need these stories and memories because they sustain us in our grief.  Knowing the one we loved was loved by others fills us with joy.

Oh, memories.  They are a gift from God.  Nobody can take away our memories, not even death itself.  Memories tend to come to the forefront of our minds at the time of loss.  We begin to remember the difference the person made in our lives and the specialness that they gave to our lives.  Memories soothe the pain of loss because we remember their love and that we are who we are because of their presence in our lives.

Memories also connect us to the people in our lives.  It is a joy to gather with my siblings and share memories of growing up.  Our views are different because of our ages.  The memories bring alive in my heart my mom and dad and my grandma.  It is as if I can feel their presence and love as we share stories of our life together as a family.  Photos make the memories even more defined.  I have been looking through photos and sending them to family.  It brings a smile and a story that centers around the picture.  It also brings a sense of gratitude for the people in the photo and a rush of reminiscences.

Music also triggers a flood of memories.  It is amazing how many songs are in our heads.  When a song from our past is sung or played, the words seem to automatically flow from our mind without thought.  The rhythm of the music brings the memory of the words, and we also connect a song to certain people or events in our lives.  My dad’s favorite song was “In The Garden” and every time I hear it or sing it, I think of my dad.  My mom’s favorite song was “Victory In Jesus” and I usually find a few tears escaping from my eyes when I sing the third verse of the hymn.

Recently I shared a meal with my cousin, Dan.  His mom and my dad were siblings.  We grew up together, and I have wonderful memories of sharing life with our Grandma and families.  Memories also bring a different perspective.  My cousin’s view is based on his mom’s perspective and mine is based on my dad’s. While they loved each other, they rarely agreed about life.  It was good to share with my cousin and understand our parents without allowing it to influence our personal relationship.  Memories can also bring healing and an acceptance of people for who they were.

We need memories.  They remind us of who we are, our foundation and how God has been with us through it all.  We need memories to sustain us in our loss and sadness because they remind us, we have been loved and that love never dies within us.  We need memories to remind us where we have been and how far we have come.  We need the stories that come with the memories to share with the next generation to keep alive the history of the family.

We need the stories of Jesus to remind us of God’s great love and grace.  We remember that God loved us so much that He sent His Son to be born here on earth, to share stories with us, to die on a cross for our salvation and forgiveness, and to be resurrected to give us the hope and promise of eternal life with Him.  God gives us everything we need through Jesus.  Our memories of those who came before us in the faith are our foundation for our own faith and life.

We need memories to give us this firm foundation to take steps into this life.  Memories are needed.  Memories are brought into the present to comfort us and give us hope. Memories are filled with love.  Memories continue to give life and love.  Cherish your memories and share your stories.

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You will find all my past blogs on my website – www.livinginthedifferent.com

My Books on Amazon

Live Different Moments

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

Living In The Different       

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

Walk Humbly With

“He has showed you what is good, and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God.”  Micah 6:8

For some of you the candidate of your choice in the recent election won.  For some of you the candidate you voted for lost.  Be humble and kind.  For some of you this year has been filled with blessings and joys.  For some of you the struggles of life have been intense this year.  Be humble and kind.  For some of you the celebration of wedding anniversaries has filled your life with gratefulness to share life with the one you love.  For some of you the loss of your spouse has left you grieving and alone trying to live into this different life.  Be humble and kind.

Tim McGaw sings the song, “Humble and Kind.” The last part of the song states – “When you get where you’re going, don’t forget turn back around and help the next one in line.  Always stay humble and kind.”  To be humble means to not focus on yourself and to be respectful to others.  It is not talking about yourself or bragging about your own accomplishments and wonderful life.  To be kind is to be gentle, caring, helpful, and considerate.  It is being respectful of others and their feelings.  It is caring about those who follow you on this journey and helping them through.

We live in a society that is quick to respond to any situation without putting thought into it.  That is, without being humble and kind but choosing to share one’s opinion and view while being negative to the other person’s perspective.  You do not need to agree with someone’s view, but you can be humble and kind.  God requires us to love kindness and to walk humbly with Him.  It is not an option but a requirement.

How we deal with the disappointments in life reflects who we are and how we live out our faith in Jesus.  We want life to go the way we planned and based on the choices we believe to be right and appropriate.  We interpret our faith based on our preferences.  So, when life does not give us what we want, we complain, get angry at others and God.  It has brought sadness to me to read some of the responses on social media from those who profess the Christian faith.  Yes, we all have our opinions, but we first represent Jesus to the world.  What comes out of our mouths comes from our hearts.  If our hearts love Jesus then our words need to be humble and kind even when we disagree.  It is good to be strong in our convictions but compassionate in our love for others.

When grief and loss encroach our path, compassion and kindness does not always come from those around us.  Some people step farther away from us because they do not know how to deal with the emotions of grief.  Some of the people who promised to be there for us have disappeared from our lives.  Others want us to get over grief quickly and back to normal.  Normal no longer exists for those who have experienced loss.  Life is different.  In grief, be kind and allow those who grieve to grieve in whatever way they need to.  Grief has no time frame.  We will grieve in some way the rest of our lives because we have loved deeply.  We miss sharing life with our loved ones.  We can still live and enjoy life, but there will always be a part of us that misses our loved ones.

Allow people to grieve.  Don’t rush the journey.  Don’t talk about yourself but be compassionate and listen to the one who is just beginning the journey of grief.  Be humble.  Listen not to respond and share your story but listen to the hurt so you can share compassion.  Be kind. 

Walk humbly with God.  It is not about you.  It is about God in you.  It is God’s love.  God’s strength.  God’s compassion.  God’s mercy.  God’s grace.  That is what is in you.  God is the one who is walking with you through the joys and sorrows of life.  Through the disappointments and the victories.  Allow God to come through you to help others on the journey of life.  Allow God to guide your thoughts, your words, and your actions.

 Let’s be humble and kind.

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You will find all my past blogs on my website – www.livinginthedifferent.com

My Books on Amazon -

Live Different Moments

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

Living In The Different       

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

Through Things

“I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.”  Philippians 4:13

“It seems like one thing after another.”  “I never seem to get a break.”  “I just want things to be calm for a change.”  “I want things to go back to normal.”  “Things seem to always go wrong for me.”  “Everything seems to bother me.”  Why can’t things stay the same.”  Statements I have heard, and even some statements I have muttered from time to time or at least thought.  I am sure many of you have uttered some variation of these statements through the struggles of your life.

“Things.”  It is what you cannot specifically define.  It is when you cannot recall the name of an object and you say, “You know, that thing – that “thingamajig.”  Things are more than objects that cannot be defined.  Things are also situations and circumstances in life that cannot be explained, overcome, or even understood. 

You may be going through a difficult situation or season of life right now. You have been trying to understand and solve the situation.  You may feel overwhelmed, exhausted, and your strength is almost gone.  This “thing” has invaded all your thoughts, feelings, and focus.  Every emotion has found its way into your thoughts, and you have lost your foothold on the situation.  Oh, at times you feel in control and your strength and hope comes back but it only lingers for a short time, and you stumble.  This thing is huge and is changing life as you know it.  You want your old life back, but you know this thing has changed everything. 

When the thing is huge and life changing like a death or illness, we tend to pray and go to God for help and strength to walk through it.  Most of the time, we want life to go back to what it used to be, but in the moment, we even find it hard to pray.  Usually in these times, we depend on other people to pray for us.  That is why we ask for prayer. 

Now when it comes to the small things – or at least we regard them as smaller – in comparison to those big things of life, we tend to depend on our own strength and power to get through them.  We see God as too busy to take time with the small stuff of life.  So, we worry and raise our anxiety and stress over the small things of life.

Can anyone reading this relate to what I am talking about today?  Life happens continuously around us.  Yes, sometimes it does seem like one trauma, tragedy, heartache, problem or dilemma after another.  Why do we expect life to run smoothly according to our plan and schedule?  We call it stress, anxiety, being overwhelmed, and out of control.  But in reality, it is just life.  We live in a fallen and broken world where nothing is perfect, and things happen without notice or reason. We do not have complete control over any big or small things of life.  Life happens.

The overwhelming feelings come from believing we need to handle all things through our own strength, wisdom, and power.  We may give some of the things to God, but God wants us to give Him “all things.”  Philippians 4:13 says, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.”  Yes, all things – big, small, and in between.  Jesus gives us His strength in all things.  It is a willingness to surrender our plan, our will, our desire for a peaceful life without problems to Jesus and allow Jesus to give us strength through them.  The key is through things not avoiding things.  Going through things is not what we want but we know it is through things we grow and become dependent upon God.  We are not able on our own to walk through the storms of life.  Jesus reaches out and takes our hand and walks beside us and with us through the things of life.

You can do all things because Jesus gives you His strength through His Spirit.  Trust Him.  Find peace in Jesus.

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You will find all my past blogs on my website – www.livinginthedifferent.com

My Books on Amazon

Live Different Moments

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

Living In The Different       

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

Faithful Incidences

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning, great is thy faithfulness.”  Lamentations 3:22-23

“Thank you for being faithful in visiting my mom.” She responded after I had texted her that I had spent time with her mom in the nursing home.  I have tried to make regular visits with several people in the later stages of their lives.  I want them to know they are not forgotten and that someone will listen to them and pray with them.  Visiting with people has been a gift God has given to me since the beginning of my ministry.  I receive such a blessing from them.  This past week when I visited, God allowed me to connect with people I did not expect to see.  God blessed me with extra hugs.

I have been regular in my morning runs for the past twenty-five years.  It is my prayer time and quiet time with God.  It is also my exercise time.  I want to be consistent in my time with God and caring for my body which is God’s temple.  It is also giving myself grace when I do not run my normal pace or take a day off occasionally.  God always blesses me with the beauty of His creation in sunrises, clouds, deer, birds, and the feel of the breeze.  God is faithful in showing up and providing a God incident each morning!

Recently, I spoke with a Grief Support group.  The people were grieving at different stages, but everyone in the room understood grief and loss.  They were faithful in their love even in death and faithful in their grief by acknowledging the depth of their feelings in the loss.  They were steadfast in love.  To be steadfast means to be loyal, devoted, steady and true.  Love never comes to an end.  In that group, one person was grieving the loss of her husband, and her husband and mine had known each other and worked together on the Highway Patrol.  It connected us not only in grief but in the stories of life.  God is faithful and provides incidents that could only be created by God.

When we eat a meal at a restaurant, we try to support locally owned “mom and pop” restaurants.  After our recent visits to the nursing homes, we stopped at a nearby local restaurant to have an early dinner.  As we were sitting at the table, in walked a special couple that I had been praying for over the past months because of her health issues.  What a blessing to hug them and share updates and connect together.  This was no coincidence, but a God-incident that God had orchestrated.  All that day God kept putting in my path people I would have never expected to see. 

So, I share all these incidences to remind you and me about God’s steadfast love, mercy and faithfulness.  Even in our grief, change, and loss, we can witness the faithfulness of God.  God never leaves us, gives up on us, never rejects us, and always walks with us.  God is faithful even when we do not see it.  God is faithful to His will not our desires. 

“God’s got the best set of crayons,” commented my friend, Sandy to the picture of the trees in our backyard which you now see beside this blog.  God continues to paint the sunrises, the sunsets, and the beauty of the fall trees.  They are new every day if we just pay attention to the beauty of nature all around us.  God never wavers in giving to His children.  God never stops being tender hearted and compassionate. God is always faithful.

As we experience change, loss, and the brokenness of life, it is difficult to see beyond the hurt and pain that God is steadfast in His love and faithful in His mercy.  It is when we focus only on the negativity of the past, we become blind to the blessings of the past that continue in the present.  God’s grace, mercy, and love are new every morning.  That is, each day we receive an abundance of love and grace from God.  God reminds us that He is always with us, never leaves us, and is faithful with His love and blessings.  It is releasing to God each day and trusting that God will show up in the most unexpected ways.

Look for God’s faithfulness in your life.  God has been faithful in the past and will continue to be in the present.  Look for God-incidences today!

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You will find all my past blogs on my website – www.livinginthedifferent.com

My Books on Amazon

Live Different Moments

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

Living In The Different       

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

Keep Showing Up

“Keep your eyes on Jesus, our leader and instructor.”  Hebrews 12:2 (LB)

Instead of planting grass around our home in the woods, we are spreading wood chips and letting the yard become whatever nature creates.  The last of the wood chips were dropped off beside our house in two large piles this past week.  The pile seemed insurmountable as I began to shovel the chips into the wheelbarrow and dump them around the house.  When I focused on how big the pile was the task seemed impossible, but when I focused on one load at a time, it became more manageable.  Also, when I looked up at the blue sky and the beautiful trees dressed in their fall colors, it became a joy to be in God’s creation.  While the task was hard labor, I kept showing up for each load and enjoying the beauty around me.  The pile of chips no longer was negative, but a part of the creative beauty around us.

She said her thoughts were always focused on the negative and the worst-case scenario.  She had no idea how to focus her mind on seeing the good and positive aspects of a situation.  So, she has begun to acknowledge the negative but is also beginning to be aware that good shows up too.  It is re-training the pathways of her brain to allow good and positive thoughts to be an option, too. 

This past week, a sweet, loving, energetic fourteen-year-old girl was diagnosed with leukemia.  Devastating news for the family and her friends.  The worry and fears become intense as medical treatment begins.  This young lady is surrounded by prayer and the love of family and friends.  Jesus keeps showing up.  Yes, cancer is bad, but good is showing up.  Everyone is leaning closer to Jesus and relying on the power of prayer.  Miracles and healing happen every day, and the family is trusting Jesus for strength and guidance.  Jesus keeps showing up.

The devastation of the hurricanes and the possibility of more storms is overwhelming.  The hurt and pain and loss seems more than anyone can grasp.  But good keeps showing up in the tragedy.  We read of those who survived, those who are volunteering, those who are donating, those who are showing up as the hands and feet of Jesus.  Even in the loss, people are keeping their eyes on Jesus to lead and instruct them in what to do.  Jesus keeps showing up.

So, in your day-to-day life, does the pile of hurt, pain, and loss seem insurmountable? Where are you focusing?  Is your focus on the death and the loss of the one you loved?  Yes, this is the reality of our lives, but if we stay in the death, we never become grateful for what we had and how the love and difference they made in our lives keeps showing up each day.  My mom shows up in me every day.  I remember her love for nature, her home remedies, her recipes, her laughter, and most of all her love for Jesus.  My mom shows up in my heart every day.  Now that I am back in my hometown and around my siblings more, my parents show up in our interactions and love.   

We cannot change our reality of loss, hurt and tragedy, but we do not need to make it our focus.  Just like negativity is all around us, can we begin to re-train our brain to look for good in the bad?  It is releasing the bad of the past, not denying it happened, but also not allowing it to still be in control and changing our focus.  Look not at the pile of tasks but look up at the beauty of God’s presence around you.  Jesus keeps showing up to remind us life is not all about the work and tasks.  Life is about enjoying being in the presence of God.  It is not about worrying and trying to control the future, but it is living in the presence of Jesus in the present moment.

Focus on the good you remember of your loved one.  The part of the past that makes you smile.  Maybe it is a statement they always said that made you smile and feel secure.  My husband, Dave, used to say when we were in places we did not want to be or dealing with a difficult situation, “Stick with me, kid.”  I still hear him say this to me when life gets tough, and I feel alone.  I believe that is what Jesus says to you and me too – “Stick with me.  I will keep showing up every time.  Just focus on me.  You are not alone.”

Jesus will keep showing up in your hurt and pain, in your joys and laughter.  Jesus will keep showing up in your cancer diagnosis and in your huge pile of wood chips.  It does not matter what it is, Jesus will show up to walk beside you, to carry you, and to remind you that you are never alone.

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You will find all my past blogs on my website – www.livinginthedifferent.com

My Books on Amazon

Live Different Moments

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

Living In The Different       

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/