Settling For Less

“I sought the Lord, and He answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.” Psalm 34:4

For over three years, I have been making a protein shake for every breakfast and most lunches. My shakes include a banana, blueberries, spinach or some type of greens, protein powder, water, and ice. Sometimes the shakes are icy, sometimes watery, and sometimes smooth. I have used a standard blender and accepted that the shakes are fine. I purchased a new protein powder that created a foamier shake, and the small blender could not hold it all. So, I decided to purchase a larger one made specifically for smoothies. Was I ever in for a shock, my protein shakes are now amazing and smooth. My Ninja makes the best shakes. They are creamy and delicious. Who knew a different blender would make such a difference.

I had settled for less than the best, and I accepted that it was fine. I was still drinking them and getting my protein. Now, I see that I was settling for something that was just acceptable. I have experienced the amazing shakes and would never go back to making them the old way. I was choosing mediocre when at my disposal was quality.

So, what does a blender have to do with life and living fully? I believe a lot. I have been reflecting on how my situation applies to life. We tend to cling to old ways that we believe are fine and acceptable because it is how we have always done it. We tend to keep going in the same direction and same focus knowing that it is not totally fulfilling, but it will do. We still do the necessary tasks and function as well as the average person.

I believe God has so much more to give us in life, but we get pre-occupied with the little we have and hoard and hold on to it. We feel we have lost so much through the death of loved ones, dreams dashed, and what we thought would happened and it did not. We try to hold on to what we have. We fear losing it, and if we take another risk and try to live again, we will experience hurt and pain.

Fear holds us back. We know what it was like to hurt and experience the pain of loss and separation and we do not want to go through that again. So, we hold on to what we can control and just function in our little space. I believe God has so much more to give us. When we cling so tightly to what we have – what is left to the life we had or what we have accumulated – it never is satisfying. We spend so much time and energy trying to keep it safe and keep ourselves from being hurt. We pull inward and live in anxiety, fear, and worry.

Wow, all this from a blender? Yes! Sometimes we have to take the risk and experience life to the fullest. It may not be what we had but it will be a new adventure. When we settle, we also complain about the struggles and what we don’t have and the unsettledness within us. Yes, life is risky, just like buying a new blender – don’t know if we will like it or if it will work. But we will not know until we try it.

Take the risk. Buy the new blender. Go on the trip. Take the adventure. Change your routine. Try something new. Eat something different. Go to the gym. Reach out to a friend. Take a walk in the snow. You will not know if you like it, until you try it.

You can also do it afraid because God promises to be with us and to deliver us from our fears. That means we need to surrender our fears to Him. We may fear getting out of the rut because it is so familiar but unsatisfying. We know we are settling for less, but do not know how to change or motivate ourselves to take the steps.

Surrender and relinquish control to God. Trust Him. Take one step at a time. Take the risk. Do it afraid.

My Books on Amazon

Live Different Moments

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

Living In The Different

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

Sifting Through

“Let us discern for ourselves what is right, let us learn together what is good.” Job 34:4

My cousin shared his memories with me about our house fire when both of us were teenagers. My cousin came with his dad the day after the fire, and together with my dad, they sifted through the rubble in search of anything of value. Dan recalls the smell that lingers in his soul even to this day. He had never experienced this type of tragedy, and the sight and smells have remained within him. During this Christmas season, I sifted through my tote of memories in search of letters that I have treasured from my mom. In the sifting through, I found two letters from my dad which are probably the only ones he ever wrote to any of his children.

At the end of the Christmas season, we sift through the sale racks and the half off Christmas decorations to find a hidden treasure. We sift through the bargain racks in hopes of finding something perfect. Each time we sift through something, we are looking for something of value, something that has meaning to us. To sift through is to discern if what we find has value and purpose. Sometimes it only has value because of the memory.

I no longer write New Year’s resolutions or goals, but now I choose a word for the year. This year I have chosen “Discern.” To discern is to recognize or identify as distinct, to perceive, to determine, to sift through. When you discern, you understand, comprehend, and grasp the meaning. For me, I want to discern God’s will and direction for this year. I want to pray and talk with God and listen for God’s voice in my heart. But in this discernment, I need to sift through the chatter of this world and my own thoughts. My desire is to discern what God is saying to me which may be different than what others perceive from God. Discernment is personal and specific to an individual. It is sifting through the noises and voices around me and finding the One that gives value and purpose to my life.

As we begin 2025, we reflect on the past year and what we had hoped would happen. We review in our head the good and the struggles, and we discern the purpose and meaning of the events of the past. In these ruminations, we also wonder why certain things happened and also seek to find the blessings among the challenges. We remember the adventures, the relationships, and the struggles. For some of you, the new year brings a different life because of the loss of a loved one. Some of you are experiencing the journey of health issues and the diagnosis of an illness. You are trying to discern why you or your family member has to go through this difficulty.

To discern involves our reflections on the past. We are trying to understand the “whys” of life. Why did this happen? Why him? Why her? Why now? In this understanding also comes an acceptance that I may never grasp the entire meaning, but I need to trust that God is still with me and in the situation. God was with you in the past and that does not change. I need to learn from the past but not continue to live in it and allow the past to control my present. The past is our foundation for the present. This is also discernment.

My word for 2024 was “listen,” and I was more intentional on listening to other people and what was really important to them. I was more focused on listening to what God was saying to me in the Bible and in my quiet time. To me, discernment is the next step to deepen my relationship with God and with all my relationships. To discern involves listening but with a focus on understanding the meaning of not only what is being said but how does it apply to my life or my relationship with the person. It is discerning my purpose for today.

May this new year bring discernment for you as you listen to God and the next steps God has for you. Remember, it is one step at a time and focusing on what is in front of you.

My Books on Amazon

Live Different Moments

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

Living In The Different

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

Reflection of the Light

“The true Light that gives light to all was coming into the world.”  John 1:9

I took the picture of our back yard that is with this blog and noticed the reflection of lights in the picture.  The Christmas tree lights reflected off the back door when I took it.  Later that day, I noticed the reflection of the sunlight through our windows onto the floor.  It brightened and warmed our home.  In my counseling office I have a prism in the window given to me by the funeral home who cremated my dear dog, Annie.  When the sun light hits it directly in the afternoon, small rainbows bounce around the walls and the floor of the room.  It always makes me smile, and I feel Annie’s spirit all around me.

In the darkness of the evening, the Christmas lights in the park reflect on the pond and make the lights even more magical.  Lights shine brightest in the dark.  Light illuminates the darkness.  Light reflects on glass and other surfaces.  To reflect is to give back, to throw back, to bounce back.  Light bounces off the surface but does not absorb into it but reflects off of it.

As we conclude another year, what are your reflections of 2024?  What has this year been for you?  For some of you, the year has been filled with challenges, struggles, and sadness.  For some of you, grief became an uninvited companion.  Some of you experienced the joy of new life, new adventures, and new experiences.  For some of you, life stayed about the same and familiar.  This year has reflected changes and a different life for most of you. 

I keep a log or journal of adventures or events, and each day I write down something that happened that was significant or noteworthy.  Then on New Year’s Eve, I read through the year’s log and reflect on all that happened.  It is also a time to give thanks to God for walking me through the year and for the blessings and the challenges of the year.  As I reflect, I am aware that God has been with me through it all – the highs and lows, the joys and the challenges.  God placed people on my path and gave me a purpose each day.

For the past nine years, since my husband, Dave, died, I have not written resolutions or goals for the year, but I have chosen a word to be my focus. My word for 2024 has been “listen.”  I have been reflecting on how I listened this year.  I listened to clients in counseling sessions.  I listened to friends and family and shared life together.  I listened to experts in various professions in making decisions.  I listened to my heart and moved back to my hometown.  I have tried to listen to God each day for my purpose that day.

To listen is to give one’s attention to a sound, to pay attention, to be attentive and take it in.  It is not just hearing a sound, but it is taking it within your soul and understanding what another person or what nature is saying to you.  To listen is to be reflective and give back your focus and acceptance to the one speaking.  It is to reflect the light of that person into your heart.

As you reflect on this past year, recognize God has brought you through this year.  God has illuminated your darkness with His light.  God has listened to your heart.  This year may not have been what you desired.  You may feel sad, lonely, angry, different, or confused.  It is in the darkest times of our lives that the light of Christ shines the brightest.  The light reflects the glory of God and does not absorb the emotions but brings hope into them.

We have just experienced the Christmas Season when God breaks through the darkness of our lives and world and gives light and hope to everyone through the birth of Jesus.  Emmanuel – God is with us. The Christmas lights reflect the joy of the season.  When you pack away the Christmas lights continue to reflect the light of God’s love.  Do not put away your kindness and the spirit of compassion and love with all the decorations.  Reflect the true light of the world – Jesus – to this broken world every day.  Christmas is not just a day – it is a season.  A season that never ends because the light of Jesus shines in your hearts.  It is not so much about what is going on around you but what is within you. In the darkness of your heart, God still shines His light of love and hope.

Reflect the light of Jesus.  Allow the light of Jesus to shine within your own heart too.

My Books on Amazon

Live Different Moments

 Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

Living In The Different       

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

Same Story

“Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.”  Luke 2:19

When I think of the Christmas season, one story comes to the forefront of my memories.  When I was a teenager our house burnt down on Sunday, December 23rd.  My life changed in many ways that day.  I had no place to call home, and I lost all my material possessions.  My family had no home, but we still had a farm with animals that needed care.  I lived with my grandmother for three months.  My brother who was still living at home, went to live with another brother.  My parents lived in a small RV on the farm to care for the animals until other arrangements for a home could be made.

Out of the ashes of this tragedy, God still brought good.  Our church family and community rallied around our family and provided support and needed clothing and financial assistance.  At a young age, I learned that relationships are more important than possessions.  I have told this story many times throughout my life, but it reminds me not to focus on material possessions and that God can bring good out of the bad and brokenness of life.  The story never grows old as I remember God’s love and care through others during this tragedy.

Christmas is a time to share stories and memories.  Not everyone has happy memories, but God can bring good out of the bad.  God can redeem the memories.  Some people remember Christmas presents, Christmas programs at school and church, snow, favorite foods, worship services, and most of all the people with whom we shared the season.  We remember how we felt, and the emotions connected to the joy of the season.

When my siblings gather, we begin to share memories of Christmas and retell the stories.  We all tell the same story first.  The story always goes something like this – “remember when we had to buzz (cut) wood every Christmas morning before we could unwrap our presents.”  We heated our house with two wood stoves, and my dad knew he could get all of us to help with the wood when the motivation was Christmas presents.  It is the same story that never grows old.

The story of the birth of Jesus is the same story that is told each year at Christmas.  This story never grows old.  It is timeless and never loses its relevance and power.  Mary and Joseph travel to Bethlehem.  Mary gives birth to Jesus and lays him in a manger.  The angels appear to the shepherds. The Shepherds come.  The wise men bring gifts.  God comes to earth in the form of a baby to redeem the world.  The story never grows old.  It never changes.  God still comes.

I wonder how many times Mary shared the story of Jesus’ birth throughout her life.  Telling of the angel appearing to her announcing that she was chosen to give birth to the Messiah. How Joseph did not leave her but believed her and the angel who appeared to him.  The journey to Bethlehem and giving birth, and all those who came to see the baby.  It was the same story that never grew old for Mary.  She treasured the memories.

Christmas is a time of memories and stories.  When we tell and retell the stories, Christmas becomes more than just a day.  The stories become alive again.  The memories are real and a part of who we are.  The memories are about relationships that gave meaning to our lives. 

Never stop sharing your memories.  Tell the same old story over and over again because it has meaning to your life.  You are who you are because of these memories and the people who are in these memories.  Your loved one comes alive again in your heart as you tell the same stories.  The stories reveal the love that never ends. 

Christmas is a love story.  God loves us so much that He came to earth as a baby to redeem us.  Keep telling your story.  Keep telling the Christmas story.  Both stories are about the deep love that is in your heart. 

My Books on Amazon

Live Different Moments

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

Living In The Different       

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

He Still Comes

“And the angel said to her, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you…”   Luke 1:35

She sat in a chair all by herself in the corner of the room looking peaceful.  I approached her and spoke her name.  She looked up and smiled.  I was familiar to her though she did not know my name or our relationship.  I had come to visit with her and brought her chocolate chip cookies.  She took the two cookies eagerly and slowly ate both of them with such enthusiasm.  We listened to Christmas carols on my phone and sang along – “Away In A Manger,” “Silent Night,” and then “Go, Tell It On The Mountain.” 

I played Josh Turner’s version of “Go, Tell It on The Mountain” and the words of the chorus are -“Go, tell it on the mountain, over the hills and everywhere, Go, tell it on the mountain that Jesus Christ is born.”  As these words were sung, the Holy Spirit came upon her, and she began to cry tears of joy.  She spoke through her tears, “Those words are so beautiful.  I feel the Lord all around me.”  It was evident that the Holy Spirit came upon this dear soul whose mind was ravaged by dementia.  She still knew Jesus and her heart was full of His love.  At that moment, Christmas came for me.  We prayed and her faith flowed from her tears.  I felt the Spirit as I held her hand.  I experienced Christmas – God with us.  Jesus came.

I walked into Sharon’s room.  She was sitting alone in her room, lost in her thoughts watching mindless TV.  Her face lit up as she recognized me.  “Oh, Elaine, it is so good to see you.”  Her joy came in our conversation.  She was so grateful I came.  It was God who nudged me to visit.  To take the time and listen to who God was putting on my path today.  As we prayed together, I experienced Christmas – Jesus came again.

Each visit that day was filled with purpose and meaning.  God gave me a plan for the day to bring hope and joy to others and in return God came to me reminding me what this season of Christmas is all about.  It is God breaking into our world and being with us.  God breaks through even in the traditions of the Christmas season.

I watched the Christmas parade in my hometown.  It felt like a Hallmark evening with the town filled with people and excited children.  The children were expecting lots of candy to be thrown on the parade route and Santa to close out the parade.  There were bands, floats, trucks, singers, a Christmas Vacation float with the station wagon and tree, and the Grinch.  One float from a local church shared the true meaning of Christmas through the Nativity scene with a lighted cross and church in the background.  I experienced the joy of Christmas through all of the magic of the parade. But I knew the Spirit had come upon the parade when those announcing each exhibit in the parade stated when the Church’s Nativity float passed by – “Jesus is the reason for this season.”  They were not ashamed to publicly declare Christmas is about Jesus.  Jesus came again.

Christmas is not just a day or a season.  Yes, there are many traditions that we only experience in the Christmas season like Christmas parades, Christmas lights, presents, and the nativity.  Christmas is so much more, but when we believe it is just a day or season, then when it is over there is a sadness and unfulfillment.  We prepared and now it is completed, and we have not experienced the Spirit coming and filling us with a sense of joy and wonder.  Sometimes we spend so much time buying, wrapping gifts, decorating, making the meal for that one day.  The family comes, eats the meal, unwraps the gifts and spends a few hours.  Then it is over.  All that work for a few hours.  Your focus was on the task of preparing, but what are you preparing for?

When loss enters the Christmas season, the emptiness is already there even before beginning any preparations. You are preparing to be sad and feel the loneliness of the day without your loved one.   Christmas needs to be more than a day.  Christmas comes every day we allow Jesus to come anew into our hearts.  Every time we are touched by a song like “Go, tell it on a Mountain.”  Every time we listen to God and make the visit, the phone call, bake the cookies, give a hug, say a prayer.

God still comes.  God’s Spirit will come upon us even in our sadness and emptiness.  God comes in our loneliness and unfulfillment to overshadow the darkness and give us the light of life.  God still comes to bring hope to the hopelessness of this world.  God still comes even when we do not feel like celebrating.  God still comes to be with us.  Allow God to come in your brokenness, heartache, and sadness.  God comes just to be with us. 

Great Gifts For Christmas 

My Books on Amazon

Live Different Moments

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

Living In The Different       

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

Winds of The Season

“Behold a virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and his name shall be called Emmanuel which means God with us.”   Matthew 1:23

The wind was ferocious, blowing everything in its pathway including some light snow.  The windchill made the temperature in the single digits.  It’s Ohio and it is December.  But why on the night when the Christmas Gathering was happening?  It did not deter us from attending the Christmas Homecoming service at the church where I grew up.  I was sad that the gathering was small because people chose not to come out at night in the wind and cold.  The wind may have prevented a large crowd, but it did not take away the spirit and joy of the evening.

Together we sang Christmas carols, listened to Scripture and a devotion, and breathed in the beauty of the sanctuary decorated for the season.  I was given the privilege of sharing memories with the group and now I get to share those memories with all of you.  Christmas memories.  We all have memories of Christmas times from our childhood.  Memories are what fill our hearts and create traditions.

My first memory of Christmas in Wesley Chapel Church is singing “Away in a Manger” as a little girl and sharing Bible verses that my mom, who was my Sunday School teacher, taught us in class.  I remember Christmas Sunday worship with Walter Fox leading the singing and the organ and piano being played by several different saints – Naomi, Irene, Arlene, Vera.  Walter always chose “Go Tell It On The Mountain” as one of the songs we sang together.

At the end of the Sunday School time, the organist would begin to play “Here Comes Santa Claus” and from the back of the church, Santa would make his entrance carrying a bag of goodies for the children.  My dad did not believe Santa Claus belonged in the church and would usher our whole family out the door during Santa’s entrance. But someone always managed to give us the white bag of candy and an orange as we went out the door.

I remember going Christmas caroling to the homes of all the older members of the Church.  Walter and Berniece always shared homemade cookies with all the singers.  George and Emma invited everyone into their home to sing.  We had to introduce ourselves to them and usually tell them who our parents were.  Then we would end our time at Arlene and Harold’s home for food and fellowship.

The memories come from events associated with Wesley Chapel Church.  The memories are about the people in these events.  As I shared at the service, I began to name the saints that sat in those pews who are now in Heaven.  We were surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses.  These saints were the foundation of my faith.  They brought me to the manger.  They brought me to Jesus who is God with us.  They were the spirit of Jesus that blew through my life and brought me to the saving grace of Jesus.

Memories are the winds that blow through us in each season of life.  Memories seem to be more intense in the holiday season, especially Thanksgiving and Christmas.  I believe this is because of the traditions that are associated with each one.  Those traditions are connected to people who are no longer on this earth and therefore the holiday is not the same.  We expect those traditions to continue like they always have and for life to stay the same.  We expect everyone to show up like they have every holiday season.

But the winds of the season blow in unexpected directions and create change, loss, and unexpected intensity.   Sometimes the winds are cold, and we do not want to step out into the intensity of change. Even in all the wind, the memories remain like a firm foundation.  Nobody can take away your memories because memories are filled with love.  The love of those who have surrounded you, and like the saints of Wesley Chapel, brought me to the greatest love of all – the love of God found in Jesus.  God will allow the wind of this season to blow, but it will not take you away from His love. 

This Christmas season, allow the memories to come and fill you with a sense of hope and gratefulness.  No matter how you feel.  No matter what you have experienced this year.  Jesus still comes to be with you.  Emmanuel – God is with us.

Great Gifts For Christmas 

My Books on Amazon

Live Different Moments

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

Living In The Different       

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

 Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

Rays Of Hope

“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”  Hebrews 11:1

November usually brings less sunshine and more gloom to the weather which tends to affect our mood and energy level.  I received a ray of hope and sunshine this past week in several ways.  First, my niece, Raya, spent the afternoon with me.  Her name is Raya Hope, and she is a ray of hope in how she loves life.  Her energy is boundless, and her creativity and conversation are delightful.  We baked cookies, and she skillfully and with great detail, decorated the cookies.  A hug from Raya is like touching hope!

Then, we walked through the Christmas Fantasy of Lights at the local park.  They open the park for people to walk through the light display and experience the beauty of the season through lights.  For me, the ray of hope came through the lights of the nativity displayed throughout the park.  It also came in the faces of the children who were mesmerized by the lights. 

A ray of hope rang our doorbell recently.  When I answered the door, there stood my neighbor and her young daughter who was full of joy and smiles.  They had made a gift for me.  It was a beautiful ornament for our Christmas tree.  She was so excited to share this gift with me.  It is proudly displayed front and center on our Christmas tree. 

As I sat in my living room, a ray of sunshine came through the gloom of the day.  It was as if a spotlight had been placed on my Precious Moments Nativity set and the sun beam lit up the stable with baby Jesus.  My niece, Raya, had been rearranging the scene and placed all the figurines in the tiny stable.  It was crowded but everyone was close to Jesus.  She wanted everyone to fit in the stable and be around the baby.  This gave me another ray of hope.  Is that not what God wants for all of us to be as close to Jesus as possible?

Rays of hope come to us out of the darkness of the day or our hearts.  Hope is the glimmer of light that reflects into the darkest recesses and for a moment fills us with a sense that life is good.  Hope is like reaching into the darkness and trusting that God is there even when we do not see or feel His abiding presence.

As we enter the Advent Season and make plans to celebrate Christmas, hope needs to be central in our thoughts.  Jesus comes into the darkness of our broken and fallen world and brings hope.  Our world is divided, and the negativity is expressed constantly in all media.  Your personal life may have been shattered because of loss, illness, changes, and hurt from others. You may be wondering how to take a step into this brokenness.  Hope is not denying all of this is around you.  Hope is changing your focus and looking for the rays that break through the darkness of life.

Jesus comes as a baby to become like us and to be the perfect sacrifice for our sins.  But I believe he also comes as a baby because a baby bring hope – a ray of hope.  We tend to smile when a child smiles and see the beauty in the simple aspects of life.  Hope is focusing not on the world and its glitter and tinsel this season, but that God loves you and me so much that God came to earth in the form of a baby to be with us.  To be our ray of hope.

You are not alone in this season.  Jesus is God with us.  It is reaching out in the darkness of your life and heart and trusting that God will take your hand and walk you through and sometimes carry you.  Look for rays of hope – moments that make you smile and lighten your burden.  Moments that remind you there is good in this world and good people around you.  Moments when you experience the presence of God with you.  Emmanuel – God is with us.

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You will find all my past blogs on my website – www.livinginthedifferent.com

My Books on Amazon

Live Different Moments

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

Living In The Different       

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

Grateful For The Rhythm

“The Lord your God is with you; the mighty One will save you.  He will rejoice over you. You will rest in his love; He will sing and be joyful about you.”  Zephaniah 3:17

Last year, we attended the Gaither Christmas Homecoming Concert and discovered a new group that was traveling with the Gaithers.  We enjoyed their style of music, the blending of voices and the power of the Spirit in them.  We began hearing them more on the radio and decided to check out their touring schedule.  They were going to perform at a church less than an hour from us, so we put the date on the calendar.  I thought it was strange that no tickets were needed since the group has had several number one songs on the Christian charts.

We invited a couple to join us.  We arrived at the church, and I was shocked how small the building was and wondered about their connection to this church.  I was grateful for the opportunity to hear this group – The Sound – and now I was amazed to share in this intimate fellowship.  The pastor and church had a connection to the group and one of their songs – “First Church of Mercy” was an expression of how this little church lived out their love for Jesus.  I was grateful to experience the sweet rhythm of genuine love for Jesus.  God was truly singing joyfully over this Church.

The sweet spirit of Jesus was in the room and evident in the voices and faces of the members of The Sound – Rob, Levi and Jacob Mills.  The evening was truly a God moment filled with Christmas songs to prepare us for the season of Advent – the coming of Jesus, and an evening to feel God rejoice with us.  We bought one of their Cd’s and played it when we arrived home.  One of the songs – “Never Not God” has been one of our favorites.  A few of the lines state – “He’s never not faithful, never not kind, never not perfect, never not on time, never not good.”

This song has a unique way of expressing God’s unchanging presence.  God is never not God.  God is always the same.  Always with us.  Always loving us.  Always on time.  While we are not consistent. We go up and down in our feelings, our attitudes, and our emotions.  Some of you are more laid back than others, but we have our rhythms of life.  That is, we have a pattern for our lives and when changes occur, it affects our routine and tempo of life.

So how do you deal with the rhythmic changes in your life?  My friend told me she had some days recently that she had less energy, and the grayness of the weather was affecting her mood and desire to accomplish anything.  At first, she thought that it was wrong to have these feelings as a Christian, and that God would not love her for feeling this way.  But then, she told herself that God loves her no matter her moods, and that she was grateful for the up and down rhythms of life.  She was resting in God’s love.  God still loved her.  God was still with her.  It is being grateful for the slower tempos of life and knowing God is still God in these times.  Our moods and emotions do not change how God feels about us.

In a recent conversation, the person said in the past she accepted that God was directing her life and was joyful and accepting about God’s plan.  But now she did not like what had happened and was angry that God changed the plan she had for her life.  We talked about some of the reason she was feeling this way was her lack of control.  You do not have to like what happens in life nor do you have to like God’s way of handling the situation, but God is still God and God is still with you and still loves you.  It is being grateful for the rhythm of life even when you do not understand it.

I enjoy songs that have a slower tempo as well as those that have a joyful uplifting rhythm.  Both have a purpose, and both bring me in closer relationship with God as I sing, listen, and feel the Spirit through the music.  Just like in life, there is a purpose for the difficult paths and the mountain tops.  God is still God in each one, and God calls us to rest in His love as He sings His song of love and faithfulness to us.  It is like inhaling with gratefulness and exhaling in trust and obedience when we do not understand or like it.  It is trusting God even in the difficult rhythms of life.

Now breathe in with gratefulness and exhale in trust.  God is never not God.  God is with you in the rhythms of your life.

You can check out The Sound – www.thesound.org

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You will find all my past blogs on my website – www.livinginthedifferent.com

My Books on Amazon

Live Different Moments

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

Living In The Different       

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

Needed Memories

“My God will use his wonderful riches in Christ Jesus to give you everything you need.”  Philippians 4:19

His smile and gentle spirit are his legacy.  My cousin, Ron, took the journey home to Heaven, and we celebrated his life in a very traditional and humble service which expressed how he lived his life.  When I think of Ron, I first remember his smile, his head nod of recognition, his easy-going and laid-back view of life, and his deep love for Jesus, his family, and the land.  Ron was a farmer, a community servant, and a loving husband, dad, grandfather, cousin, and friend. He was a gentle man with a quiet spirit that served faithfully, humbly with a sweet smile and a touch of humor. 

When we gather at funerals to remember our loved ones, we share memories.  We need these memories to celebrate their life and that they made a difference in this world.  I so enjoy the stories and hearing how a person influenced other people and made an impact in their corner of the world.  We need these stories and memories because they sustain us in our grief.  Knowing the one we loved was loved by others fills us with joy.

Oh, memories.  They are a gift from God.  Nobody can take away our memories, not even death itself.  Memories tend to come to the forefront of our minds at the time of loss.  We begin to remember the difference the person made in our lives and the specialness that they gave to our lives.  Memories soothe the pain of loss because we remember their love and that we are who we are because of their presence in our lives.

Memories also connect us to the people in our lives.  It is a joy to gather with my siblings and share memories of growing up.  Our views are different because of our ages.  The memories bring alive in my heart my mom and dad and my grandma.  It is as if I can feel their presence and love as we share stories of our life together as a family.  Photos make the memories even more defined.  I have been looking through photos and sending them to family.  It brings a smile and a story that centers around the picture.  It also brings a sense of gratitude for the people in the photo and a rush of reminiscences.

Music also triggers a flood of memories.  It is amazing how many songs are in our heads.  When a song from our past is sung or played, the words seem to automatically flow from our mind without thought.  The rhythm of the music brings the memory of the words, and we also connect a song to certain people or events in our lives.  My dad’s favorite song was “In The Garden” and every time I hear it or sing it, I think of my dad.  My mom’s favorite song was “Victory In Jesus” and I usually find a few tears escaping from my eyes when I sing the third verse of the hymn.

Recently I shared a meal with my cousin, Dan.  His mom and my dad were siblings.  We grew up together, and I have wonderful memories of sharing life with our Grandma and families.  Memories also bring a different perspective.  My cousin’s view is based on his mom’s perspective and mine is based on my dad’s. While they loved each other, they rarely agreed about life.  It was good to share with my cousin and understand our parents without allowing it to influence our personal relationship.  Memories can also bring healing and an acceptance of people for who they were.

We need memories.  They remind us of who we are, our foundation and how God has been with us through it all.  We need memories to sustain us in our loss and sadness because they remind us, we have been loved and that love never dies within us.  We need memories to remind us where we have been and how far we have come.  We need the stories that come with the memories to share with the next generation to keep alive the history of the family.

We need the stories of Jesus to remind us of God’s great love and grace.  We remember that God loved us so much that He sent His Son to be born here on earth, to share stories with us, to die on a cross for our salvation and forgiveness, and to be resurrected to give us the hope and promise of eternal life with Him.  God gives us everything we need through Jesus.  Our memories of those who came before us in the faith are our foundation for our own faith and life.

We need memories to give us this firm foundation to take steps into this life.  Memories are needed.  Memories are brought into the present to comfort us and give us hope. Memories are filled with love.  Memories continue to give life and love.  Cherish your memories and share your stories.

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You will find all my past blogs on my website – www.livinginthedifferent.com

My Books on Amazon

Live Different Moments

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

Living In The Different       

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

Walk Humbly With

“He has showed you what is good, and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God.”  Micah 6:8

For some of you the candidate of your choice in the recent election won.  For some of you the candidate you voted for lost.  Be humble and kind.  For some of you this year has been filled with blessings and joys.  For some of you the struggles of life have been intense this year.  Be humble and kind.  For some of you the celebration of wedding anniversaries has filled your life with gratefulness to share life with the one you love.  For some of you the loss of your spouse has left you grieving and alone trying to live into this different life.  Be humble and kind.

Tim McGaw sings the song, “Humble and Kind.” The last part of the song states – “When you get where you’re going, don’t forget turn back around and help the next one in line.  Always stay humble and kind.”  To be humble means to not focus on yourself and to be respectful to others.  It is not talking about yourself or bragging about your own accomplishments and wonderful life.  To be kind is to be gentle, caring, helpful, and considerate.  It is being respectful of others and their feelings.  It is caring about those who follow you on this journey and helping them through.

We live in a society that is quick to respond to any situation without putting thought into it.  That is, without being humble and kind but choosing to share one’s opinion and view while being negative to the other person’s perspective.  You do not need to agree with someone’s view, but you can be humble and kind.  God requires us to love kindness and to walk humbly with Him.  It is not an option but a requirement.

How we deal with the disappointments in life reflects who we are and how we live out our faith in Jesus.  We want life to go the way we planned and based on the choices we believe to be right and appropriate.  We interpret our faith based on our preferences.  So, when life does not give us what we want, we complain, get angry at others and God.  It has brought sadness to me to read some of the responses on social media from those who profess the Christian faith.  Yes, we all have our opinions, but we first represent Jesus to the world.  What comes out of our mouths comes from our hearts.  If our hearts love Jesus then our words need to be humble and kind even when we disagree.  It is good to be strong in our convictions but compassionate in our love for others.

When grief and loss encroach our path, compassion and kindness does not always come from those around us.  Some people step farther away from us because they do not know how to deal with the emotions of grief.  Some of the people who promised to be there for us have disappeared from our lives.  Others want us to get over grief quickly and back to normal.  Normal no longer exists for those who have experienced loss.  Life is different.  In grief, be kind and allow those who grieve to grieve in whatever way they need to.  Grief has no time frame.  We will grieve in some way the rest of our lives because we have loved deeply.  We miss sharing life with our loved ones.  We can still live and enjoy life, but there will always be a part of us that misses our loved ones.

Allow people to grieve.  Don’t rush the journey.  Don’t talk about yourself but be compassionate and listen to the one who is just beginning the journey of grief.  Be humble.  Listen not to respond and share your story but listen to the hurt so you can share compassion.  Be kind. 

Walk humbly with God.  It is not about you.  It is about God in you.  It is God’s love.  God’s strength.  God’s compassion.  God’s mercy.  God’s grace.  That is what is in you.  God is the one who is walking with you through the joys and sorrows of life.  Through the disappointments and the victories.  Allow God to come through you to help others on the journey of life.  Allow God to guide your thoughts, your words, and your actions.

 Let’s be humble and kind.

*****************************************

You will find all my past blogs on my website – www.livinginthedifferent.com

My Books on Amazon -

Live Different Moments

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

Living In The Different       

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

Through Things

“I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.”  Philippians 4:13

“It seems like one thing after another.”  “I never seem to get a break.”  “I just want things to be calm for a change.”  “I want things to go back to normal.”  “Things seem to always go wrong for me.”  “Everything seems to bother me.”  Why can’t things stay the same.”  Statements I have heard, and even some statements I have muttered from time to time or at least thought.  I am sure many of you have uttered some variation of these statements through the struggles of your life.

“Things.”  It is what you cannot specifically define.  It is when you cannot recall the name of an object and you say, “You know, that thing – that “thingamajig.”  Things are more than objects that cannot be defined.  Things are also situations and circumstances in life that cannot be explained, overcome, or even understood. 

You may be going through a difficult situation or season of life right now. You have been trying to understand and solve the situation.  You may feel overwhelmed, exhausted, and your strength is almost gone.  This “thing” has invaded all your thoughts, feelings, and focus.  Every emotion has found its way into your thoughts, and you have lost your foothold on the situation.  Oh, at times you feel in control and your strength and hope comes back but it only lingers for a short time, and you stumble.  This thing is huge and is changing life as you know it.  You want your old life back, but you know this thing has changed everything. 

When the thing is huge and life changing like a death or illness, we tend to pray and go to God for help and strength to walk through it.  Most of the time, we want life to go back to what it used to be, but in the moment, we even find it hard to pray.  Usually in these times, we depend on other people to pray for us.  That is why we ask for prayer. 

Now when it comes to the small things – or at least we regard them as smaller – in comparison to those big things of life, we tend to depend on our own strength and power to get through them.  We see God as too busy to take time with the small stuff of life.  So, we worry and raise our anxiety and stress over the small things of life.

Can anyone reading this relate to what I am talking about today?  Life happens continuously around us.  Yes, sometimes it does seem like one trauma, tragedy, heartache, problem or dilemma after another.  Why do we expect life to run smoothly according to our plan and schedule?  We call it stress, anxiety, being overwhelmed, and out of control.  But in reality, it is just life.  We live in a fallen and broken world where nothing is perfect, and things happen without notice or reason. We do not have complete control over any big or small things of life.  Life happens.

The overwhelming feelings come from believing we need to handle all things through our own strength, wisdom, and power.  We may give some of the things to God, but God wants us to give Him “all things.”  Philippians 4:13 says, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.”  Yes, all things – big, small, and in between.  Jesus gives us His strength in all things.  It is a willingness to surrender our plan, our will, our desire for a peaceful life without problems to Jesus and allow Jesus to give us strength through them.  The key is through things not avoiding things.  Going through things is not what we want but we know it is through things we grow and become dependent upon God.  We are not able on our own to walk through the storms of life.  Jesus reaches out and takes our hand and walks beside us and with us through the things of life.

You can do all things because Jesus gives you His strength through His Spirit.  Trust Him.  Find peace in Jesus.

*****************************************

You will find all my past blogs on my website – www.livinginthedifferent.com

My Books on Amazon

Live Different Moments

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

Living In The Different       

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

Faithful Incidences

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning, great is thy faithfulness.”  Lamentations 3:22-23

“Thank you for being faithful in visiting my mom.” She responded after I had texted her that I had spent time with her mom in the nursing home.  I have tried to make regular visits with several people in the later stages of their lives.  I want them to know they are not forgotten and that someone will listen to them and pray with them.  Visiting with people has been a gift God has given to me since the beginning of my ministry.  I receive such a blessing from them.  This past week when I visited, God allowed me to connect with people I did not expect to see.  God blessed me with extra hugs.

I have been regular in my morning runs for the past twenty-five years.  It is my prayer time and quiet time with God.  It is also my exercise time.  I want to be consistent in my time with God and caring for my body which is God’s temple.  It is also giving myself grace when I do not run my normal pace or take a day off occasionally.  God always blesses me with the beauty of His creation in sunrises, clouds, deer, birds, and the feel of the breeze.  God is faithful in showing up and providing a God incident each morning!

Recently, I spoke with a Grief Support group.  The people were grieving at different stages, but everyone in the room understood grief and loss.  They were faithful in their love even in death and faithful in their grief by acknowledging the depth of their feelings in the loss.  They were steadfast in love.  To be steadfast means to be loyal, devoted, steady and true.  Love never comes to an end.  In that group, one person was grieving the loss of her husband, and her husband and mine had known each other and worked together on the Highway Patrol.  It connected us not only in grief but in the stories of life.  God is faithful and provides incidents that could only be created by God.

When we eat a meal at a restaurant, we try to support locally owned “mom and pop” restaurants.  After our recent visits to the nursing homes, we stopped at a nearby local restaurant to have an early dinner.  As we were sitting at the table, in walked a special couple that I had been praying for over the past months because of her health issues.  What a blessing to hug them and share updates and connect together.  This was no coincidence, but a God-incident that God had orchestrated.  All that day God kept putting in my path people I would have never expected to see. 

So, I share all these incidences to remind you and me about God’s steadfast love, mercy and faithfulness.  Even in our grief, change, and loss, we can witness the faithfulness of God.  God never leaves us, gives up on us, never rejects us, and always walks with us.  God is faithful even when we do not see it.  God is faithful to His will not our desires. 

“God’s got the best set of crayons,” commented my friend, Sandy to the picture of the trees in our backyard which you now see beside this blog.  God continues to paint the sunrises, the sunsets, and the beauty of the fall trees.  They are new every day if we just pay attention to the beauty of nature all around us.  God never wavers in giving to His children.  God never stops being tender hearted and compassionate. God is always faithful.

As we experience change, loss, and the brokenness of life, it is difficult to see beyond the hurt and pain that God is steadfast in His love and faithful in His mercy.  It is when we focus only on the negativity of the past, we become blind to the blessings of the past that continue in the present.  God’s grace, mercy, and love are new every morning.  That is, each day we receive an abundance of love and grace from God.  God reminds us that He is always with us, never leaves us, and is faithful with His love and blessings.  It is releasing to God each day and trusting that God will show up in the most unexpected ways.

Look for God’s faithfulness in your life.  God has been faithful in the past and will continue to be in the present.  Look for God-incidences today!

*****************************************

You will find all my past blogs on my website – www.livinginthedifferent.com

My Books on Amazon

Live Different Moments

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

Living In The Different       

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

Keep Showing Up

“Keep your eyes on Jesus, our leader and instructor.”  Hebrews 12:2 (LB)

Instead of planting grass around our home in the woods, we are spreading wood chips and letting the yard become whatever nature creates.  The last of the wood chips were dropped off beside our house in two large piles this past week.  The pile seemed insurmountable as I began to shovel the chips into the wheelbarrow and dump them around the house.  When I focused on how big the pile was the task seemed impossible, but when I focused on one load at a time, it became more manageable.  Also, when I looked up at the blue sky and the beautiful trees dressed in their fall colors, it became a joy to be in God’s creation.  While the task was hard labor, I kept showing up for each load and enjoying the beauty around me.  The pile of chips no longer was negative, but a part of the creative beauty around us.

She said her thoughts were always focused on the negative and the worst-case scenario.  She had no idea how to focus her mind on seeing the good and positive aspects of a situation.  So, she has begun to acknowledge the negative but is also beginning to be aware that good shows up too.  It is re-training the pathways of her brain to allow good and positive thoughts to be an option, too. 

This past week, a sweet, loving, energetic fourteen-year-old girl was diagnosed with leukemia.  Devastating news for the family and her friends.  The worry and fears become intense as medical treatment begins.  This young lady is surrounded by prayer and the love of family and friends.  Jesus keeps showing up.  Yes, cancer is bad, but good is showing up.  Everyone is leaning closer to Jesus and relying on the power of prayer.  Miracles and healing happen every day, and the family is trusting Jesus for strength and guidance.  Jesus keeps showing up.

The devastation of the hurricanes and the possibility of more storms is overwhelming.  The hurt and pain and loss seems more than anyone can grasp.  But good keeps showing up in the tragedy.  We read of those who survived, those who are volunteering, those who are donating, those who are showing up as the hands and feet of Jesus.  Even in the loss, people are keeping their eyes on Jesus to lead and instruct them in what to do.  Jesus keeps showing up.

So, in your day-to-day life, does the pile of hurt, pain, and loss seem insurmountable? Where are you focusing?  Is your focus on the death and the loss of the one you loved?  Yes, this is the reality of our lives, but if we stay in the death, we never become grateful for what we had and how the love and difference they made in our lives keeps showing up each day.  My mom shows up in me every day.  I remember her love for nature, her home remedies, her recipes, her laughter, and most of all her love for Jesus.  My mom shows up in my heart every day.  Now that I am back in my hometown and around my siblings more, my parents show up in our interactions and love.   

We cannot change our reality of loss, hurt and tragedy, but we do not need to make it our focus.  Just like negativity is all around us, can we begin to re-train our brain to look for good in the bad?  It is releasing the bad of the past, not denying it happened, but also not allowing it to still be in control and changing our focus.  Look not at the pile of tasks but look up at the beauty of God’s presence around you.  Jesus keeps showing up to remind us life is not all about the work and tasks.  Life is about enjoying being in the presence of God.  It is not about worrying and trying to control the future, but it is living in the presence of Jesus in the present moment.

Focus on the good you remember of your loved one.  The part of the past that makes you smile.  Maybe it is a statement they always said that made you smile and feel secure.  My husband, Dave, used to say when we were in places we did not want to be or dealing with a difficult situation, “Stick with me, kid.”  I still hear him say this to me when life gets tough, and I feel alone.  I believe that is what Jesus says to you and me too – “Stick with me.  I will keep showing up every time.  Just focus on me.  You are not alone.”

Jesus will keep showing up in your hurt and pain, in your joys and laughter.  Jesus will keep showing up in your cancer diagnosis and in your huge pile of wood chips.  It does not matter what it is, Jesus will show up to walk beside you, to carry you, and to remind you that you are never alone.

*****************************************

You will find all my past blogs on my website – www.livinginthedifferent.com

My Books on Amazon

Live Different Moments

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

Living In The Different       

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

Blessings From Behind

“The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you.  The Lord lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace.”  Numbers 6:24-26

I was headed west as I finished my run in the early morning.  The sun was rising, and I looked over my shoulder and was blessed with an amazing sunrise.  I stopped and turned around and took a picture of this awesome picture God had painted to begin the morning.  I was blessed with the beauty of God’s creation.  If I had not looked behind me, I would have missed this blessing.  It made me think of the blessings I may have missed in my life because I did not stop and receive them.

I shared in the thirteenth birthday blessing party of my niece, Juliana.  Her parents began a tradition in their family of having a blessing celebration when each child turns thirteen.  It was a way to bring together those in their child’s life that are mentors and encouragers and friends to share a blessing and encouraging words and scripture.  As I shared with Juliana, I reminded her that she is blessed with a foundation of love and faith from her family.  Her blessing comes from what her parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents instilled in their children and imparted to the next generation.  I gave to Juliana a framed scripture of Joshua 1:9 – “I command you to be strong and brave, do not be afraid because the Lord your God is with you everywhere you go.”  This blessing comes from behind her.  It is God’s word to Joshua, and it was also my husband, Dave’s life scripture.  By giving her the framed scripture, it was as if Dave was supporting and encouraging her too.

I visited my cousin and his wife as he now begins the journey home to Heaven.  As I talked with Ron, his smile emerged.  When I think of my cousin, his smile is my first thought.  His smile is a blessing that is part of my memories of Ron.  As I shared memories of growing up with his children and times together at reunions, his smile is my fondest memory.  It is the blessing that will sustain.  When God calls him home, his smile will remain in my heart.  Every time I think of Ron, I will smile.

This past week, Ray was called home to Heaven.  He and his family were a blessing to me in the first church I was appointed as an Associate Minister.  Though it was years ago, the blessing of his life is part of my foundation of faith.  As I look behind me, I remember his smile, his sweet voice that praised God, his gentle spirit, his love for his wife and family, and his love for Jesus that radiated in his smile. 

Looking behind is not living in the past but allowing the past to be living in the present.  The past is filled with blessings and relationships that influence and guide us to become who we are today.  If it were not for these people and experiences, we would have missed how God was refining and growing us.  Blessings are not always obvious and sometimes when we go through struggles and challenges, we do not see the blessings in them until we look back and see God’s presence through them.

It is not that we wanted the experiences which resulted in loss, pain or heartache, but God brought us through these which is a blessing itself.  I have begun to look for daily blessings and thank God for each gift.  A blessing is God’s favor.  When we focus on seeing God’s presence in daily life, we smile when we become aware that God’s blessings are everywhere just like God’s presence.  It is having the mindset to focus on the good and the blessings that God grants to us even in the storms of life.

I am aware of these blessings because of what came behind me.  The people whom God placed in my life who lived and expressed the love of Jesus to me through their lives, their faith, their smiles, and their encouragement.  I am who I am because of the blessings of those who loved me, supported me, encouraged me, and their love continues to give me strength.  Those who have come behind me continue to live in me today.  Though they are physically not present in this world, their love shines in my heart and life.  I have been blessed.  You have been blessed.

Allow the blessings from behind to shine in your life and bring you peace.

You will find all my past blogs on my website – www.livinginthedifferent.com

My Books on Amazon

Live Different Moments

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

Living In The Different       

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

Where's My Focus?

“The things you should want most is God’s kingdom and doing what God wants.  Then all these other things you need will be given to you.”   Matthew 6:33

The paperwork to complete lays on the desk in front of me.  The marketing plan for my books needs to be reviewed and implemented. I have cards and letters to write.  I opened my totes filled with papers and memorabilia that I need to sort and organize.  I have pictures on my phone I want to download and create photo books.  Then I look outside and see the beautiful blue sky but also the pile of wood chips that need to be spread and the stone that needs to be carried to the back steps.  You get the picture because each of you have items on your “To Do List” either written or in your head.  They all vie for your attention.   All of them are good use of your time and energy.  They are practical and necessary.

I look outside again and see the gift of God’s creation and the wind blowing through the tall trees.  My desire is to just enjoy the beauty around me, explore the country, and relax in whatever God puts in front of me.  But my own expectations and need to be productive tends to complicate these thoughts and adventures.  I am torn between the practical responsibilities placed on by the world and my own understanding of life, and my desire to just enjoy life as God intended.  These should not be different.  So, I begin to ask myself, “Who am I trying to please?”  What is my focus?

In my counseling conversations, I find the majority of people focus on the expectations of others.  They are trying to be people pleasers or even society pleasers.  Trying to live into the expectations of others and what is acceptable to society.  For example, when you build a new house, the expectation is that you will plant grass and therefore, mow the lawn and create flower beds and spend hours in your yard.  NO thank you!  Why do we allow other people and society to dictate our lives?  When we do, it literally sucks the joy out of our lives.  We live in fear of not measuring up, not receiving approval from others, which creates high anxiety, worry and stress.

Is this really who you want to be and how you want to live your life?  What do you really want life to be and who do you want to be in this different life?  The hardest part of change and loss is knowing who you are now.  What is your priority now in life?  As I walk into this next chapter of my life, my heart’s desire is to do what God wants even though the world around me keeps clamoring for my allegiance. 

I am changing my focus.  Yes, the paperwork needs to be completed, and my desire is to market my books, but today I want to take an adventure and just enjoy what is in front of me.  Today I want to listen to God and reach out to a family member.  Today I want to visit a friend and share the love of Jesus with her.  Today, I want to enjoy the sunshine, the blue sky and breathe in God’s Spirit that is all around me.  Today, I want to smile within me when I see the hawk or the cardinal and know my loved one is still with me.  Today, I want to live and not just exist in the mundane tasks society says are more important than God.  Remember, God is always with you, and you can still do the tasks but why not focus on God with you in the task?  When you release the people pleasing which takes away your joy, you find the joy of the Lord deep within you.  Joy is from Jesus which is an inner contentment and peace that what is most important is enjoying the life we have in front of us.

Life will have storms and destruction just like the recent hurricane.  We cannot explain the why and the devastation and loss.  Nothing makes sense nor takes away the reality.  But I know God is still God. God is still with you and me.  Jesus feels the pain and hurt and loss we feel.  It is choosing to focus even in all the destruction, God, you are with me.  Nothing takes away God’s gift of peace and joy.  We are the ones who let go of it and allow others to crush it.  Joy and peace have nothing to do with our circumstances.  It is about our focus.  When we keep our eyes on Jesus and not the expectations and views of others and the world, we begin to live, really live.

Enjoy today and what God places in front of you.  Relax in God’s presence and be fully present with God.

So where is your focus today?

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You will find all my past blogs on my website – www.livinginthedifferent.com

My Books on Amazon

Live Different Moments

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

Living In The Different       

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

Whispering Good

“We know that in everything God works for good with those who love him, who are called according to his purpose.”    Romans 8:28

Tears leaked gently from the corner of his eyes and his lips formed his familiar smile.  In that moment, he was fully present with me.  The diseases of the mind and body were not strong enough to withstand the power of God’s spirit in him.  For the moments I was with him, we remembered our history together and how God allowed us to share life in the body of believers.  We focused on the good God brought into our lives though life was a struggle now for him.  I told stories from the storehouse of memories sharing how God worked through him to make a difference in the lives of others.  His life was a reflection of Jesus.

I had been invited into a very holy and sacred space with my special friends as the preparation for leaving this world became more evident and imminent.  They asked for prayer, and I offered to come, and the door was opened to this hallowed journey.  The focus was on the good God worked in his life and the good the memories represented.  The quietness of the moment whispered good while the situation cried in pain, anger and sorrow.

As I talked with his wife, memories of my own journey nine years ago flooded my emotional thoughts.  It was as if I knew what she was thinking and wanted to say but it was too difficult actually saying the words that were in her head.  I verbalized those feelings for her.  She did not want her husband to be in pain and suffer, but she did not want him to die.  She wanted him to be released from the pain, but she had no idea how to live life without him.  She was angry at the diseases and that God would allow them, but she knew her strength came from God who loved her and lived in her heart and in the heart of her husband.  God brought good out of my own experience by allowing me to stand with another beginning this journey.  I had been where she now was, and she needed someone who received her struggle and emotions.  I did not try to fix, but I understood.

God is good.  Good comes from God.  God works for good in all situations.  True statements, but difficult to live when your heart is breaking because a loved one is dying.  We tend to see death as punishment.  Not punishment to the one dying especially when we know they will be in Heaven and be healed of the brokenness this world dumped on their bodies.  The punishment is what we who are left endure.  It is a life without the one we love and with whom we have shared life with all these years.  Why do we have to go alone and give up the dreams and plans for our future?  Why not more years?

Not everything that happens in life is good nor is it explainable.  God takes the brokenness and works good out of it.  Not everything that happens to those who believe is good.  The good is that God loves us while we are in it and going through it.  God is all around us.  We just do not understand why God allows it and does not take us out of it.  We know God can do anything and miracles still happen.  So why does God answer some prayers with miracles and some we do not receive the answer we wanted?  All good questions.  And questions that only God can answer and which God will reveal to us when we arrive in Heaven.

So what about now?  Listen to the whispers of good in your heart.  Remember the love and the moments with your loved one.  That is part of the good God brings to those who love Him.  God wants us to see the good in the people who are on our path of life.  God wants us to focus on the moments that are given and treasure them.  It is not focusing on the loss but on what we gained by enjoying life together now.

God does not want us to deny the pain and hurt that comes from loss.  It is the result of the brokenness and sin of this world.  God does not want us to deny our reality.  But we tend to worry about what is going to happen, that we miss the holy and sacred moments in front of us.  God wants us to experience the good that will sustain us in the brokenness. 

“Every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.”  Romans 8:28 (The Message)

********************

You will find all my past blogs on my website – www.livinginthedifferent.com

My Books found on Amazon

Live Different Moments -available on Amazon -

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

Living In The Different       

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

Sighing In The Bleachers

“Likewise, the Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with sighs too deep for words.”  Romans 8:26

She told me she was living her life in the bleachers with her grandchildren.  I asked her to explain what she meant.  She said, “I enjoy watching my grandchildren participate in sports and other events, but I do not have to provide everything for the activity nor be at every game or practice.  I choose when it fits into my schedule and priorities.  It is the responsibility of my children to provide for their children.”  Interesting way of stating how she was living, but it has made me ponder this concept.  Am I adding responsibility to my life that is not mine?

I have shared how to step in and step out of situations and people’s drama.  You enjoy time with a person or a family event and live in the moment, and then you step out and are not responsible for other people’s lives or decisions. The idea of living in the bleachers adds the responsibility of being a supportive cheerleader and enjoying the adventure with them.  It is also knowing your role.  You are not their coach, so you are not telling them how to live or play the game.  You encourage them and remind them you are with them and care about who they are and what they are doing.  You are not in control.

So, what happens when they mess up on the field of life and you are in the bleachers?  They do not want your advice, your criticism, your judgment, or your corrective plan.  So you just sigh.  You sit there and know you cannot change the situation even though you want to fix it.  You have no words and no power to change the outcome.  At times, you just listen.  Sometimes you are asked to give your opinion or provide clarity as they work through the current situation.  Most of the time I am learning, I just sigh within me and say, “God, I do not know what to pray but I am sitting here in the bleachers with you.”

Sighing takes the focus off ourselves and our need to solve the situation.  Sighing calms our inner soul and fills us with God’s Spirit.  I want my first response to any situation to be like what God does to my own mess ups and brokenness.  God responds with grace.  I am weak and broken and make wrong decisions and create anxiety and worry because of my choices.  God knows we are weak and do not know what to do.  God’s Spirit – the Holy Spirit – “intercedes for us with sighs too deep for words.”  In the past I have read this scripture and thought it meant only in formal prayer.  No, the Spirit intercedes in every aspect of our lives and gives us this gift of sighing.

I sighed in the bleachers throughout this week as I counseled and listened to the hurts and struggles of my clients and family.  I am not living their lives but have become their cheerleader and at times they bring me to the sidelines as their coach.  In my weakness, I do not know what advice to give them, so I sigh and the Spirit speaks through me.  Sometimes I even get amazed what comes out of my mouth and I thank God for giving me His wisdom and words.  Sometimes I sigh knowing I am not going to influence them nor are they wanting to change. 

To sigh is to release to God what is going on within you.  Sometimes we sigh to release emotions and feelings.  Other sighs are an acceptance of the situation.  We sigh when we do not know what to say or do.  We can even sigh when the feeling of wonder and awe totally amaze us and words do not adequately convey the moment.  To sigh in the bleachers is to accept other people for who they are and the decisions they are making.  We may not agree, but we can still love them and be a support to them.  Sighing in the bleachers also acknowledges we are not in control.  God is.  So sigh and wait for God’s leading before you speak.  Sometimes just being present is all we need to do.

Let’s sigh!

********************

You will find all my past blogs on my website – www.livinginthedifferent.com

My Books found on Amazon

Live Different Moments -available on Amazon -

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

Living In The Different       

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

Troubled Belief

Jesus said, “Let not your hearts be troubled; believe in God, believe also in me.”  John 14:1

The cutest little boy who was probably around three years old, stood on the folding chair next to his mom in the front row of the grandstand as the county bands performed their band shows on opening day of the fair.  Each band director stood on a chair or ladder in front of this little boy directing their individual bands.  Soon this little boy dressed in shorts, a T-shirt and a hat began directing behind the band director.  His little body was moving with the music, and his arms were directing in rhythm with the beat of each song.  For almost an hour, this little boy never lost his enthusiasm or stamina.  It was as if he believed that the band members were following his direction.  He brought joy and smiles to the band show.

This little boy was oblivious to the crowd around him except his mom, and I think he believed he was literally directing the music.  He was not troubled by any noises or people around him.  Even one of the band directors came up to him and gave him a “high five” after the completion of the band show.  The little boy believed he was helping the bands and found joy in the moment.  It was evident by the smile on his face and the excitement in his body as he swayed to the music.

Are you troubled about life around you?  Is your heart troubled?  To be troubled means to be unsettled, distressed, concerned, worried, stressed, or to have anxiety.  “Of course,” you say.  “Isn’t everyone?”  These are words common in our everyday conversations.  I hear them in most of my counseling sessions.  Jesus states in John 14:1 – “Let not your hearts be troubled.”  We scoff and say, “That’s impossible in my life.  Maybe then but not now.  Life is different now.”  Is it really?  Where is your focus in what you believe about life and God’s presence?

Are you troubled in your belief?  That is, Jesus says that we need not be troubled or anxious or even worry when we believe in Him.  So, if I am worried and troubled, does that mean I do not believe?  I don’t think so.  These are normal and natural feelings.  It is not wrong to feel them.  We are grounded in our belief system and usually build our foundation for life on our basic beliefs.  As a Christian, our basic beliefs are grounded in Jesus as our Lord and Savior who died on the cross for the forgiveness of our sins.  We believe that God is with us through the gift of His Holy Spirit.  Sometimes we have trouble translating our basic beliefs into everyday living.

That is, we tend to separate our spiritual foundation of belief from our everyday life and decision-making in the routines and basics of existing in this world.  God is with us when we pray.  When we are at Church, and when we serve Him, but we tend not to recognize God is with us doing dishes, mowing the lawn, going to school, driving to work, and even at our work place.  That is when we become troubled.  Life is up to us, and it gets overwhelming to figure everything out on our own.  There is too much to do.  Too many problems and struggles.  Too many demands.  We lose our focus and get distracted by the world around us.

Oh, we pray about these situations and ask for God’s guidance, but rarely do we wait for an answer.  We plow ahead as if everything is on our shoulders.  We strive to be independent and confident.  We do not need help.  We can do it on our own, but then the unexpected happens.  Life becomes different and we lose our back up.  We have no back up plan, and that is when we become troubled, anxious, worried and afraid. 

You know you are saved from your sins through Jesus, and you confess them.  You know Jesus died on the cross for your forgiveness and the gift of eternal life.  But in your believing in Jesus, are you trusting that He cares about your daily, routine of life and wants to be your support, comfort, help, guide, and friend on the journey?  Are you troubled that you have worries and anxieties and know you should not?  The only way to release these troubles is to trust Jesus is with you every moment of every day, and Jesus cares about every aspect of your life.  From the big decisions of relationships to the small decision about what to eat and buy.  Your focus needs to be on Jesus just like that little boy kept his focus on the band and listened to the rhythm of the music.  Follow the rhythm of God’s Holy Spirit. 

When your belief system reminds you not to worry and you still do, you become more worried that you are not measuring up to God’s standards.  This is missing the essence of belief in Jesus.  Jesus wants to walk with you each step of life.  God wants you to be aware of His presence in each moment of life, not to judge you, but to love and guide you.  Jesus carries our burdens, our cares, our worries and gives to us His peace, protection, love and grace in exchange.

So, when Jesus says, “Let not your hearts be troubled.  Believe in God, believe also in me,” He is saying to you and me, “I got this.  Trust me.”  Breathe in the Spirit of Jesus every moment of every day.  When you start to feel anxious or troubled, stop and release it to God.  Don’t worry about others around you, allow God to direct the music of your daily life.  Find the joy in the adventure of life.

********************

You will find all my past blogs on my website – www.livinginthedifferent.com

Check out my new book – Live Different Moments.  Each chapter has an Annie story.  Annie will guide you in living into life

My NEW book – Live Different Moments - Available on Amazon -

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

My Books – Living In The Different  and Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper – Available on Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

Peaceful Easy Feeling

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you.  Let not your hearts be troubled neither let them be afraid.”  John 14:27

I sat on our porch with the morning sunlight peeking through the trees that were swaying in the morning breeze.  The sky was bright blue with a few white fluffy clouds dancing across the sky.  The only sounds were the rustle of the leaves in the wind and in the distance the muffled sound of trucks on the highway about a mile away.  A huge difference from the constant sirens, traffic, and street noise I was used to hearing in the mornings. 

A song came into my head by the Eagles – “Peaceful Easy Feeling.”  While I am not usually a pop song fan nor a fan of the Eagles, this song’s chorus spoke to me this morning.  “Cause I got a peaceful easy feelin’ and I know you won’t let me down. Cause I’m already standin’ on the ground.”  My surroundings were peaceful, and life was not pushing or demanding.  I knew God was all around me as I was standing on the firm foundation of His love and grace.

Since my recent move, I have been slowing down my thoughts and my vision.  Yes, vision.  I am looking at the trees all around me.  The deep blue sky.  The bean field across the street.  Nature.  It is all around me and we are leaving the yard all natural.  No grass will be planted, just wood chips spread all around the house and then letting nature be natural.  This is easy because God’s creation will be allowed to grow however it chooses.  To me, this is the perfect yard.  It is not demanding to be trimmed, mowed, or pruned.  It just goes with the flow and does not demand anything of me but to enjoy its beauty.

This peace is also coming to me in my schedule.  While I am counseling virtually and in person as I accept new clients in the area, I am at peace choosing when to counsel and when to reserve time to enjoy the adventures of life.  This is a peaceful easy feeling that nobody is dictating my schedule or use of space.  Nobody is watching what I am doing.  It is God’s timing and schedule.  I like God’s way of looking at life.

I have found throughout my life and career that the demands of others have taken precedence in my schedule and view of life.  I believe this has been the root of much anxiety and struggle to accomplish what others expect not what God wants.  While God has given you and me gifts and talents and purpose in life, we tend to get lost in society’s overwhelming expectations.  We become burdened with producing to meet other people’s standards.  It becomes grueling and tiresome without joy or peace.

Life loses its easygoing and peaceful feeling.  This world cannot give us peace because it is always demanding more, which increases our anxiety and fear.  Only Jesus gives peace and contentment.  When we focus on the love God has for us and release control to Him, we can begin to experience peace.  This is the first step.  Then we begin living more in the present moment and know God has the future.  We begin focusing just on what is in front of us and on our next step trusting God will lead us.  Next it is not focusing so much on doing but on being with God.  Our whole purpose in life is to glorify God which means to love God naturally, easily without demands or stipulations.  It is enjoying our Loving God and not placing demands and requirements back on God.  For me, peace comes when I focus on Jesus being my friend who walks with me in the joys and storms of life.  Jesus fills me with the peace of His Spirit when I keep my eyes on Him.  It is not about what is happening around me as what is going on within me.  My spirit is at peace in the presence of God’s love and grace.

This peaceful easy feeling is coming more and more to me as I step away from the intensity of the city life, the traffic, and the demands placed on me or perceived by me.  It is when I look up at the swaying trees in the breeze and trust God for my next step.  It is resting.  Truly resting my thoughts and view of life.  It is resting my vision.  What are you looking at each day?  The mess, the screen, the brokenness of life?  It is there and will always be there.  My eyes are looking at the simple creation of God all around me.  I am focusing more on God’s love for me.  Not on preforming but on standing on the foundation of God’s love.  This brings a peaceful easy feeling.

********************

You will find all my past blogs on my website – www.livinginthedifferent.com

Check out my new book – Live Different Moments.  Each chapter has an Annie story.  Annie will guide you in living into life.

My NEW book – Live Different Moments - Available on Amazon - 

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

My Books – Living In The Different  and Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper – Available on Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

Afraid To Trust

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not rely on your own insight.  In all your ways acknowledge him, and He will make straight your paths.”  Proverbs 3:5-6

The deer crossed about twenty feet in front of me as I was running my new path and jumped into the bean field on the other side of the road.  The deer stopped and turned his head to look at me.  Our eyes met for an instant, and I felt such peace like my dearest friend was looking at me and still was with me.  The deer was not sure he could trust me and that I would not hurt him.  He was cautious but still lingered for a moment.  To me, the deer reminded me that wherever I go, God reveals Himself to me in nature.  God reminds me that He is all around me and provides the beauty of nature for my enjoyment.

As I looked at the stack of boxes in my new house, it seemed like a huge undertaking to unpack and create this house into my home.  But because of previous moves and experiences, I trusted that it would be completed in a timely manner, like less than a week.  I was not afraid to take a break and go for a bike ride and enjoy the sunshine or stop for a milkshake or stop for a visit with a neighbor or chat with a family member who dropped by to check on me.  Because I have moved many times, I trusted my ability to finish the task and begin living and enjoying my new space.

It has been completed in less than one week. There are no more boxes to unpack, and all the boxes have been taken to the recycling center.  Everything has its place, and I have no fear or dread of coming home because it is neat, clean, and organized.  I trusted myself because of previous experience and knowing that God blessed me with the ability to focus, organize, and complete projects.

Life has fears and things we dread to do and experience.  We are afraid to trust others because of past hurts.  We fear new experiences and situations because of no previous knowledge.  We fear messing it up or not knowing how to complete it.  We fear not having the energy or perseverance.  We are focused on ourselves and our own strength.  Over my lifetime, I have learned to trust God in all situations. Sometimes, I do not rely immediately on God, but eventually pull myself back to depending on Him.  God is the One who has the strength and cares about all the details of our lives.  Even when we move and need energy to keep going.

I do not need to understand everything, but I do need to trust God in everything.  I know God loves me and wants the best for me.  Sometimes it does not look like where I want to go, but I am learning to pray, “God, you got this.  I trust you.”

This move has led me to reflect on another aspect of being afraid to trust.  We are afraid to truly enjoy life and lean into the present moment.  Oh, we trust God with our salvation.  We trust that God is with us in the tough and painful times of life giving us comfort and support.  We even trust God to give us strength to endure the trials of life.  We still ask why, but we still trust.  But to trust that God wants us to enjoy His blessings and not worry about what may happen next?  We are afraid to release our worries and fears because that is our way of trying to control the situation.

We are afraid to trust God in the good.  It is almost like we do not deserve to enjoy life when we see what is happening in our world.  We may not feel like we have done enough to deserve the joy.  We forget that God gave us life to live abundantly and fully in His presence.  It is trusting that God loves us so much that He gives blessings and joys.  Not all of life is hard and painful.  There is good when we look for it and stay focused on the moments. 

When we have experienced loss, we may think we cannot laugh and enjoy the good moments because we are grieving and miss our loved one.  Remember joy and sorrow mingle together.  Our loved ones are enjoying Heaven and being in the Presence of Jesus.  Trust God to give you good and enjoy those moments.  Find joy today.  Laugh today. 

Trust that God loves you so much that God gives you blessings and joy, too!

********************

You will find all my past blogs on my website – www.livinginthedifferent.com

Check out my new book – Live Different Moments.  Each chapter has an Annie story.  Annie will guide you in living into life.

My NEW book – Live Different Moments - Available on Amazon -

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

My Books – Living In The Different  and Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper – Available on Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/