Hope Even In Reality

“And this hope will never disappoint us, because God has poured out his love to fill our hearts.” Romans 5:5

We gathered to remember and celebrate the life of a high school classmate. We stood together to represent our entire class. His parents were burying their second son. Our hearts ached for his parents. That is not the natural order of life. The pastor shared words of hope. He shared Psalm 23 reminding all of us how God is our Shepherd who guides us through the valley of the shadow of death. We prayed together and heard the words of the hope of Heaven. The reality as we stood beside the casket was that our classmate was physically gone from our sight.

After the service, we stood and talked and remembered our time together in high school. We remembered Kevin and our shared experiences. In these memories, hope was restored even in the reality of loss. We remembered his intelligence and talents, and his quirky personality. He had made a difference in our high school years and therefore, he had a purpose in life. It made his classmates ponder life and the brevity of it. Where is our hope today?

It is difficult to live in hope when we experience death and loss and change. Life is not what we expected or hoped it would be. We tend to focus on what we want life to be and become disappointed and even angry when God’s plan does not match our plan. We see no hope for our lives in death and loss. Yes, we accept there is hope for the one who leaves this world and enters the hope of heaven. But our lives can feel hopeless and empty. So how do we live in hope now even in the reality of present life without just focusing on Heaven?

I am finding that when hope is dependent only on how I feel and my circumstances, hope is not alive. I am disappointed and not able to sustain the hope on my own. I mess up and fail and my feelings get hurt and others frustrate me. I lose focus. I believe some of you can relate to this view of life. You want to live in hope and focus beyond the hurt and pain, but it seems overwhelming and impossible. Your heart is broken, and hope feels like it is just pretending everything is fine.

Hope is more than your feelings and your circumstances. Hope is trust and believing the foundation of your life will sustain you in every situation in life. Your heart may feel empty and broken, but living in the reality of hope now is when God fills your heart with His love. You do not have to understand why life has happened as it has; you just need to trust God is still with you in it. Even when your situation does not change, you can still live in hope. It is based not on you and your outward circumstances but is based on God’s love that is within you even when you do not feel the love. It is present.

Hope is present. When I truly relax in God’s presence – truly just be, I can release the world view of myself and my life. God has no expectations of performance or conditions of love. I am loved because of who God is. I am hopeful in my present state because God just loves me for me. Hope is fulfilled because of God not because of me. My reality may not change. Death still happened, but hope is present because God is present with you.

Hope in our current situation involves a focus change. Hope is the trust that even if I cannot see the good in my circumstances, God is still with me and still loves me. When I focus on just breathing in God’s Spirit and not the anxiety, fear and worry that is around me, hope is present. Hope in my reality includes a release from the confines of this world’s view of myself and my own expectations. It is releasing my view that God’s love and peace has conditions and performance expectations. This is not true.

Hope is truly believing God just loves me now and that whatever happens, God is in control and God has me. This is not being naïve or putting your head in the sand. It is not allowing the world to take away your present hope. Hope is what sustains you and keeps you from spiraling down the hole of negativity and depression.

Live in the hope that God is with you right now. That you do not have to figure it all out or even know what to do right now. Live in the hope that it is OK to be who you are and trust God has you.

Hope even in your present reality.

My Books are available through different venues

• Tea Story in Upper Sandusky

• Personally through me

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Living In The Different

Live Different Moments

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

Check out my Newspaper Articles also on my Website – www.livinginthedifferent.com

So What Am I Suppose To Do Now?

“God has made us what we are. In Christ Jesus, God made us to do good works, which God planned in advance for us to live our lives doing.” Ephesian 2:10

He called. He was frustrated and did not know how to handle the situation. He wanted to control it, but he knew that it was not his to control. He did not have the patience or the words to talk through it. He knew that this was my area of knowledge and experience. So, I went, and I had the conversation. I was using the gifts God has given to me. I believe I was doing and currently am trying to do what God has planned for me to live my life doing. I have come to the acceptance that I am not the one making the plan, I am following God’s plan for my life. I am doing what I am supposed to be doing right now even when I wonder if it is enough and am I discerning God’s plan.

You may be wondering who you are now and what your life is supposed to look like. God made you what you are. God created you with your uniqueness and given you gifts and purpose. In each season or stage of living, your life and purpose will look different. Your life has valleys and struggles along with the joys and adventures. It is a mixture. It is learning from all of it and allowing God to use it for His purpose.

Right now, you may feel you are barely hanging on. You are just existing because of the loss, change, pain, hurt, or challenges of life. God has a plan for you even where you are. Remember, you are God’s child. In these times, God has a plan for you – hold on to hope and hold on to His hand. God’s plan for you is some self-care right now. That may not seem to be enough, but God knows you need to strengthen your foundation and acceptance of life beginning with taking care of the one God loves – that’s you. Start with the basics – take a shower, eat something healthy, make your bed, do some movement, go outside and look up.

Maybe you are in the depths of grief and loss. God’s plan for you right now is to grieve and allow yourself to feel whatever you feel. It is beginning to change your focus from the depth of loss to becoming grateful for the relationship and the foundation of love. It is focusing on the blessings of your loved one in your life. God’s plan for you right now is to rest and to give yourself permission to grieve and heal.

Sometimes the good work God has planned for us is to take care of ourselves. To just be His child. God wants us to surrender to Him and allow Him to guide us and give us strength for each day. We try to figure out life on our own and to earn favor with God. Because we are God’s child, God has wonderful plans for our lives to live fully and abundantly sharing in His love and grace. Sometimes God wants us to abide with Him. Just be and not focus on performance.

If you feel you are beginning to move forward into a new season of life, but you do not know the direction or path to take, then wait and listen. This is part of discernment. We may create a plan and desire to be busy and work for God and His purpose. But we usually define for ourselves what must be our purpose without waiting for God’s leading. We created a plan and ask God to bless it. We feel compelled to constantly be busy and always say “yes” to opportunities or even try to create ways to do more. Believing if an opportunity arises, it is what God wants for me.

I am learning to wait and listen. I ask, “God, is this from you? Is this what You have for me today?” The closer we stay to Jesus, the more we know and hear the whisper of God. For instance, I was cleaning and preparing to bake cookies to give away, when the phone rang. I answered and heard the overwhelming anxiety in her voice. I knew this was God’s plan for me today to come to her aid and just walk beside her. I listened to the inner voice of God speak to me. This was what I was supposed to do. The other activities could wait.

What are you supposed to do now? Slow down. Listen. Trust Jesus and get closer to Him. Ask God what He has for you today. Live in front of you. Stay active and not busy. Busy is fueled by anxiety and worry and fear that you are not doing enough. Active involves listening and resting and being and experiencing life.

“God, what do you have for me today?”

My Books are available through different venues

• Tea Story in Upper Sandusky

• Personally through me

• Amazon

Living In The Different

Live Different Moments

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

Check out my Newspaper Articles also on my Website – www.livinginthedifferent.com

Sunshine In The Peace

“I pray that the God who gives hope will fill you with much joy and peace while you trust in Him. Then your hope will overflow by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13

I enjoyed the days of sunshine this past week. One afternoon, I sat on my front porch in the sun and listened to the birds singing their songs of joy. The blue sky and warmth of the sun gave me hope for Spring and warmer days ahead. I trust these signs of creation because each year my hope becomes reality. Yes, there will be cooler days and three more snows after the forsythia blooms, but I have hope.

The moments in the sunshine as I looked up into the sky gave a calm peace inside of me. When you look up, you see only what God created. All the tasks and responsibilities are in the background. You breathe deeply and release the world pressures for a few moments. You feel peaceful. This reveals how much the things of this world take away our peace and control us. We need to take these breaks and breathe in God’s creation.

Yes, we have responsibilities and daily tasks that need to be accomplished. That is the fact of life, but life is also peace and joy. We seem to forget that peace and contentment are natural parts of living, too. The things of this world seem to overshadow this inner peace. Life is far from perfect. It will always have struggles, pain, sadness, loss, hurt, heartache, and the lists are endless. When our focus is on all these obstacles and hurts, we live in anxiety, fear, being overwhelmed, and stressed. We assume this is just what life will always be like, and it is what life has dealt us. Life also has peace, joy, love, kindness, goodness, and more.

I am not trying to minimize your pain and struggle. It is real and it is there, but how do you change your focus to the good that is within you? You are more than your disease, your grief, your trauma. God created you with hope. A hope that cannot be defined by your circumstances.

Hope sometimes is difficult to see in the times of darkness in life, but that is where trust in God comes into the situation. It is praying, “Lord, all I see is darkness, but I trust You in the dark. You are the God of hope. Help me see your light and allow your Spirit to enter my heart with Your peace. Amen.”

As I sit in the driveway in the sunshine writing these words, I hear the wind and feel the warm breeze. I look up and see the blue sky and bright sunshine and in these moments God’s peace and joy fill me. I trust God’s Spirit will speak within my heart and give me the words to write that will bring hope to you, my friend. When I close my eyes and allow God’s creation to fill me, I have peace and contentment. I have slowed down and not allowed the world’s view to cloud God’s view of my life. I trust God because God has been with me in the past and continues to be with me. God gives to me a hope of a hope when it seems impossible.

Nature teaches us rest and renewal through the changing seasons. Rest is self-care. It is allowing the sun and the breeze to absorb within us, and it changes our perspective that life is not meant to be always busy and outwardly productive. God is more interested in our inner spirit than our outward accomplishments. When the Holy Spirit is within us, God’s goal is to put our spirit in a restful place. The Spirit of God gives to us inner peace and contentment as we rest in Him. Yes, peace and joy and hope are a natural part of life.

The world is loud, but God whispers to your spirit. Do not focus on the expectations and hurts of life. They will always desire to control you if you let them. Trust that God has got the world and you, even when it does not feel like it. When the wind blows in the fears and worries, trust the hope that the Holy Spirit’s power will blow through you and give you peace to walk you through whatever situation you are currently going through. This peace assures you that you are never alone. There is peace in the sunshine. It is always in your heart even when darkness is all around you. Uncover it from what the world has tried to dump on you.

Live in the sunshine of peace.

My Books are available through different venues

• Tea Story in Upper Sandusky

• Personally through me

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Living In The Different

Live Different Moments

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

Check out my Newspaper Articles also on my Website – www.livinginthedifferent.com

Longing For the Light

Jesus said, “I am the light of the world. The person who follows me will never live in darkness but will have the light that gives life.” John 8:12

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You’ll never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don’t take my sunshine away.” You sang those words, didn’t you? I have sung this song’s chorus with little children and the elderly. At retreats and in the memory care unit. It always brings a smile and sunshine to the heart. Sunshine brings hope and light and joy into life. We tend to feel better when the sun is shining.

The winter had many gloomy days without a hint of sun. Some days the sun peaked through the clouds for a brief moment, and then the dreariness of the day covered the sun. The sunlight is now staying longer in the days that lead to Spring. Daylight Savings Time is upon us, and we are enjoying the light lingering longer in the evenings. Sunshine brings renewed energy and brightness not just to the day but to our attitude and soul. We tend to be more active when the sun is shining, and our mood reflects the light. I enjoy the beauty of the sunrise and the sunset as God creates a masterpiece each time just for you and me. It is amazing.

I have been sorting through my memorabilia totes that contain awards, letters, pictures, and lots of papers from my past. I have letters from my mom and Grandma, and cards from people in various churches I served. I found letters of recommendation for scholarships from teachers and pastors. I found evaluations from professors. One letter listed gifts he saw in me, and he stated – “Your spirit of joy is the best gift you brought to our group. You have a smile and a particular gleam in your eyes that helps others to feel good and to mirror that sparkle.” Then I found a little card that had my name on it and what Elaine means – “Bright, Shining Light.”

I share this statement not to focus on myself, but I share it to reflect on the words of light my teacher saw in me so many years ago. My parents gave me the name “Elaine” that means “light.” We seek light and brightness in life. Light sparkles when it reflects off something shiny. In the Gospel of John, Jesus said, “I am the light of the world.” (John 8:12) In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus said, “You are the light of the world.” (Matthew 5:14) Jesus wants us to reflect His light to others. Jesus’ light through us will reflect the glory of God and bring others to the light of Jesus.

Light is preferred, but life also brings darkness. The darkness of loss, grief, change, trauma, struggles, and challenges. Sometimes it is difficult to see the light of Jesus in this darkness. At times, the darkness seems to overpower the light, and we see no light at the end of the long dark tunnel. Darkness is just dark. Light begins to peak through the darkness of our souls when someone steps in our darkness with the light of Jesus. We do not immediately receive the light, but we see the glimmer of the light and begin to long for light and hope and a relief from the dark nights of our soul.

Who has been light in your darkness? Who has walked into your despair and lit the candle of hope? You saw the flicker but were not ready to receive the light. You knew it was there, and your friend was reflecting the hope of Jesus into your darkness. We all need someone to be the light to guide us out of the darkness and give us moments of hope. It may take time to change your darkness into light but allow the light to penetrate and revive your soul. Acknowledge the flicker of light in moments of your life and soon those moments come together, and light begins to fill your heart and soul. The situation may not change, but you begin to accept the joy in the middle of the struggle.

Light can overcome the darkness of despair. Long for the light and do not succumb to the darkness of despair. Life may not be what you had hoped or planned, but it is still a gift from God. Go live the life you have now. Allow the smile and joy of others to give you hope not irritation. Many people still smile in the pain. It is a choice to let the light into your struggles and heartache. The light brings moments of refreshment.

When you have received this light in the depth of your darkness and been able to walk into the light of Jesus’ presence, you will want to help others who come behind you to find this light and hope in life. When we give light and hope to others it fills our souls with the light of Jesus and renews us.

Keep longing for the light. Be the light to others. You are my sunshine!

My Books are available through different venues

• Tea Story in Upper Sandusky

• Personally through me

• Amazon

Living In The Different

Live Different Moments

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

Check out my Newspaper Articles also on my Website – www.livinginthedifferent.com

Talking It Over

“You will teach me how to live a holy life. Being with you will fill me with joy; at your right hand I will find pleasure forever.” Psalm 16:11

An evening of entertainment, music, and a wonderful spirit around me. We experienced an evening concert with Josh Turner. Josh and his band not only played some of my favorite songs, but they entertained with their stage presence. They danced, they interacted with each other on stage, and they had fun sharing their talent for music with the audience.

Josh Turner is a country music singer who is a Christian. He began the concert by singing songs from his new album – “This Country Music Thing.” Then in the middle of the concert, he shared his faith by singing several of the Gospel songs he wrote. In the midst of his entertaining he praised God.

Josh Turner is one of my favorite Christian country artists. His song, “Me and God” is one of the songs that I turned to during my grief and next steps of life. In the intensity of my grief, this song reminded me I was not alone. Life had changed, but God was the same and always with me. I could talk to God in the middle of anything. It continues to keep me grounded in what is important in life and where my focus needs to be. Some of the words of the song –

“Early in the morning talking it over, Me and God.

Late at night talking it over, Me and God.

You could say we’re like two peas in a pod, Me and God.

He’s my Father, He’s my friend.

The beginning and the end,

He rules the world with a staff and the rod.

We’re a team, Me and God.”

God shows up in the middle - in the midst of - every situation in our lives. It is in Jesus we can find rest in the middle of the chaos and struggles of life. When we are in the middle of grief, turmoil, pain, sadness, and struggles, we tend to become overwhelmed and barely exist in survival mode. We may feel like we are going around in circles, and feel like we are living on the merry-go-round of life. It just keeps going and never stops to give us a break. When we are in the middle there seems to be no way out. We see no possibility of life getting better because we are only focused on our own strength and abilities, and we are tired and not able to function well.

This is when the song, “Me And God” pulled me out of the middle of my own pain and grief, and reminded me that God is with me in the middle of everything I encounter in life. I can talk over with God everything that happens in life. God listens from morning until night, and even if I awake in the middle of the night, God will listen. God is my Father and my friend. He takes me by the hand and walks with me. I am on God’s team. I am never alone.

God loves us because we are His children. We sometimes think we have not done enough for God to earn the privilege of talking with God and asking for help, strength, or guidance. So we try it alone with our meager strength and ability and become exhausted, and life seems impossible to navigate. That’s not the life that Jesus came to offer you and me. Jesus died for our salvation and freedom from the shackles and burdens of life. He did not say we would not experience pain and hurt, but He promised to carry the load if we will just release it to Him and talk everything over with Him.

Jesus is with us in the midst of everything we encounter in life. We just need to recognize His presence and talk everything over with Him. I have come to the acceptance that life is about “Me and God.” That is the most important relationship. While I love the people in my life, my relationship with my Heavenly Father is the most important and it is with whom I talk about every detail and decision. For me, to describe this relationship it is like the Holy Spirit – the Spirit of God – lives in the back of my head and every thought, feeling, experience, goes through Him.

When I focus on just Me and God, the things of this world seem not worth the worry and fear. I know God’s got it. It is not that I don’t care, it is I care so much that I put it into the hands of God. My desire is to live so close to God and talk with God about everything and surrender everything to God. Then my prayer is to say and do what God wants me to do since we have been talking it over. God is in charge, and I just follow His lead.

We’re a team – Me and God. Just talking it over!

My Books are available through different venues

• Tea Story in Upper Sandusky

• Personally through me

• Amazon

Living In The Different

Live Different Moments

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

Check out my Newspaper Articles also on my Website – www.livinginthedifferent.com

Hearing The Gesture

“My children, we should love people not only with words and talk, but by our actions and true caring.” 1 John 3:18

“If you ever need anything, just give me a call. I will be here for you.” Someone has probably said this statement to you at one of your lowest times in life. It may have been after the death of a loved one, a trauma, or a challenging situation. The words were spoken with sincerity, but you did not believe it was an open invitation to call anytime. You never called, and they never reached out to assist you. Then someone brought you peach cobbler in the midst of your move just to let you know they cared. Their action made you feel loved and that someone really cared and followed through with more than words. Actions tend to speak louder than words.

I told him I was here for him and if he needed anything, to call me. He called and needed a ride to the hospital and needed someone to be with him during the process. I gave him my word and followed through with action. I know what it is like to be at a low time in life and just need someone to reach out and show they care by their actions. He felt alone and heard only negativity in his own head about himself and felt the rejection from others. I heard God’s call to love with words and action. It was my purpose at that moment.

I have been listening to Pastor Jim Stauffer’s sermon series on the Five Love Languages based on Gary Chapman’s book with the same title. Those Five Love Languages are – Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Touch, Acts of Service and Quality Time. We each have a predominant way we receive and give love. All are important and enhance relationships. We may use different ones in giving and receiving love. The key is to experience the love and care in the way it was given.

In our times of sadness, loneliness, and grief, I believe we need to see love in action. These love languages are expressions that can be seen, felt, touched, heard and experienced. When life has changed and everything feels different, it is difficult to accept words because they seem empty and trite. Our thoughts are full of words that tend to go in circles and no hope is found in all these thoughts and fears. It is hard to focus when you are going through loss, pain, grief, and struggles. We get lost in the words of the past and the future seems broken. Words seem meaningless.

In these low times, someone offers and tells you to call them if you need anything. It feels empty and you wonder if they said it just to be polite. You know you will never call even if you need them. You need someone to do for you what you cannot do – reach out. To care and show it by their actions. To do something even when you decline their offer. You push away but you want them to pull closer at the same time.

You want out of the mud hole of despair. You hear the words spoken and the directions given on how to get out of the mud hole, but in your sadness, loneliness and negative thoughts, it does not seem possible. You need someone to reach out and take you by the hand. You need action. Someone to shovel your snow-covered driveway. Someone to bring you cookies or a hot fudge sundae. Someone who would take you out to dinner. To watch a movie with you. Hug you. Sit with you in the Hospital. And the list is endless. You will decline all the offers when you are at your lowest, but you know it is what you need.

We hear love in words, but we experience love in action and true caring. Love with words and actions. God does. God loves us so much He sent His Son, Jesus into our world to live and die for us so that when we die, we will live with Him. God gives us His Word – the Bible, but He also gives us His presence and shows us His love in creation. God loves you even in your lowest times and even when your heart is broken. God comes to you through other people, His Holy Spirit, the beauty of nature, through worship and music, and even through cookies and Hot Fudge Sundaes.

Hear the action. Receive the love. Need some chocolate chip cookies?

My Books are available through different venues

• Tea Story in Upper Sandusky

• Personally through me

• Amazon

Living In The Different

Live Different Moments

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

Hearing The Gesture

“My children, we should love people not only with words and talk, but by our actions and true caring.” 1 John 3:18

“If you ever need anything, just give me a call. I will be here for you.” Someone has probably said this statement to you at one of your lowest times in life. It may have been after the death of a loved one, a trauma, or a challenging situation. The words were spoken with sincerity, but you did not believe it was an open invitation to call anytime. You never called, and they never reached out to assist you. Then someone brought you peach cobbler in the midst of your move just to let you know they cared. Their action made you feel loved and that someone really cared and followed through with more than words. Actions tend to speak louder than words.

I told him I was here for him and if he needed anything, to call me. He called and needed a ride to the hospital and needed someone to be with him during the process. I gave him my word and followed through with action. I know what it is like to be at a low time in life and just need someone to reach out and show they care by their actions. He felt alone and heard only negativity in his own head about himself and felt the rejection from others. I heard God’s call to love with words and action. It was my purpose at that moment.

I have been listening to Pastor Jim Stauffer’s sermon series on the Five Love Languages based on Gary Chapman’s book with the same title. Those Five Love Languages are – Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Touch, Acts of Service and Quality Time. We each have a predominant way we receive and give love. All are important and enhance relationships. We may use different ones in giving and receiving love. The key is to experience the love and care in the way it was given.

In our times of sadness, loneliness, and grief, I believe we need to see love in action. These love languages are expressions that can be seen, felt, touched, heard and experienced. When life has changed and everything feels different, it is difficult to accept words because they seem empty and trite. Our thoughts are full of words that tend to go in circles and no hope is found in all these thoughts and fears. It is hard to focus when you are going through loss, pain, grief, and struggles. We get lost in the words of the past and the future seems broken. Words seem meaningless.

In these low times, someone offers and tells you to call them if you need anything. It feels empty and you wonder if they said it just to be polite. You know you will never call even if you need them. You need someone to do for you what you cannot do – reach out. To care and show it by their actions. To do something even when you decline their offer. You push away but you want them to pull closer at the same time.

You want out of the mud hole of despair. You hear the words spoken and the directions given on how to get out of the mud hole, but in your sadness, loneliness and negative thoughts, it does not seem possible. You need someone to reach out and take you by the hand. You need action. Someone to shovel your snow-covered driveway. Someone to bring you cookies or a hot fudge sundae. Someone who would take you out to dinner. To watch a movie with you. Hug you. Sit with you in the Hospital. And the list is endless. You will decline all the offers when you are at your lowest, but you know it is what you need.

We hear love in words, but we experience love in action and true caring. Love with words and actions. God does. God loves us so much He sent His Son, Jesus into our world to live and die for us so that when we die, we will live with Him. God gives us His Word – the Bible, but He also gives us His presence and shows us His love in creation. God loves you even in your lowest times and even when your heart is broken. God comes to you through other people, His Holy Spirit, the beauty of nature, through worship and music, and even through cookies and Hot Fudge Sundaes.

Hear the action. Receive the love. Need some chocolate chip cookies?

My Books are available through different venues

• Tea Story in Upper Sandusky

• Personally through me

• Amazon

Living In The Different

Live Different Moments

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

Anticipated Prediction

“But you do not know what will happen tomorrow! Your life is like a mist. You can see it for a short time, but then it goes away. So you should say, “If the Lord wants, we will live and do this or that.” James 4:14-15

This winter weather has been full of surprises, but it has also been typical winter weather for Ohio. You make plans and anticipate that the forecast is true, but then you cancel plans because of the ice storm. Then you do not make plans because of the prediction of a storm and nothing happens. You feel you just wasted your time and could have enjoyed a great adventure. You make plans to stay inside and then the sun comes out and the blue sky is clear and inviting. You make plans to take a walk and then the snowstorm emerges.

We try to anticipate the weather, and meteorologists make predictions. A prediction is a forecast for the future. It is an educated guess basically. We live in the Midwest where the winter can contain all four seasons in a single day. It can be harsh and cold for weeks or mild and sunny. It can change without warning or prediction. We even try to fool ourselves with a ground hog and the prediction of an early Spring. No matter what, Spring only comes when it is good and ready to come. We hope and dream, but reality is, it will come whenever the weather decides to change and commit to staying Spring. We anticipate Spring in the cold of winter.

Anticipation. To look forward to, to expect. Some of you anticipate life will be good and what you hope for will happen. Keep up the positive attitude and outlook. Proud of you. While others of you anticipate doom and gloom. If something could go wrong, you know it will go wrong for you. You predict disaster, heartache, and falling apart if it is connected to you. Your motto has been – “If something can go wrong, it will.” I get it. Life seems to go from bad to worse for you, and it feels like a dark cloud follows you around.

Life did not turn out like you expected, anticipated nor predicted. You had hopes and dreams and life went in a different direction. We want to make choices for our lives, and we do have some choices. Not all of our choices are healthy and good because we make mistakes and are easily swayed by other people and the views of society. We do have a choice in our attitude toward life. We live in a fallen and broken world and bad stuff happens to good people. We try to understand and make sense out of something that makes no sense at all.

So, you may feel that life is not what you predicted it to be at this stage of life. Or it may be better than expected. Either way, life is what is in front of you, and you get the choice to find peace and contentment or fight against it all the way. Your choice. Let’s anticipate something that is true no matter who you are or what life has given you. God is with you. You are not alone. God created you to be who you are and there is a reason for you being you. Only you can do what you were created to do.

God promises you this current moment and to be with you. God may not take you out of the current storm, but God will walk with you through it. This is the life you have. Nobody else can make it better for you. It is your choice. Let us look forward to walking with Jesus and finding moments of good. You need to look for the good. It may not be what you anticipate that will bring good. It is being open to new possibilities and adventures.

We may also anticipate how others will react to us. We worry and become anxious in this anticipation because we want to please others and make them happy. Sorry, that is not your responsibility. You may anticipate other people’s reactions and try to prepare how to respond to them, but this anticipation will only bring anxiety and fears. You cannot control another person’s response. Because of your history with a person, you may predict how they will respond. It is learning to accept a person for who they are and not absorbing their responses.

We tend to have a preconceived view of what life should be and how it should look. What if we let go of this idea, and trust that God has a different plan and way for us to view life. I can choose to be miserable because what I anticipated did not happen, or I can choose to enjoy the surprises of life and find good in the moments. Let’s choose to trust God in each moment of life.

My Books are available through different venues

• Tea Story in Upper Sandusky

• Personally through me

• Amazon

Living In The Different

Live Different Moments

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

Reactions To Life

“Come to me, all of you who are tired and have heavy loads, and I will give you rest. Accept my teachings and learn from me, because I am gentle and humble in spirit, and you will find rest for your lives.” Matthew 11:28-29

Recently I had an allergic reaction to a medication that I tried. It caused a rash and many other physical symptoms. It was suggested to give relief to my congestion, but it caused a very unpleasant experience. I learned how my body reacts to something foreign to it. It has made me more sensitive and cautious about what I put into my body even when it is helpful to others. My body had an adverse physiological response, that is, I had a negative response to a substance.

In life, what causes negative responses that affect us physically? I have a client that is dealing with canker sores in her mouth caused by her absorbing all the emotions around her. Her body is reacting negatively to internalizing these emotions. She is trying to process through them and make healthier decisions for herself. She knows she needs to let go of fixing others and trying to control their behaviors. She is allergic to the absorption of emotions.

How are you responding to the negativity, chaos, and unwanted events in your life that trigger a boatload of emotions? Do you absorb the feelings of others and try to fix everybody and the situation through control? Do you run away and escape life? Does it feel like you are allergic to everything and breaking out all over? You may be having an allergic reaction to life.

I have learned some important truths through my experience this week. First, just because something is healthy for someone else does not make it healthy for me. This relates to life situations, too. How one person deals with a situation may work for them, but it may not work for you. Each person was created unique not just in looks and behaviors but also in emotions and how we react to situations. When we compare ourselves to others and wonder why we cannot do what they just did, it is because we are not them.

Next, I learned that negativity is like something foreign to the body. It does not fit well, or process well nor even settle well into our systems. Negativity permeates into every fiber of our being and makes life feel overwhelming and miserable. We begin to pile everything together and see all of life as bad when it really is not. It is separating the emotions and dealing with each situation by itself. Just because I had an allergic reaction, it did not change my relationships, my faith, my work, and my purpose in life. It just temporarily changed how I was feeling.

I learned that rest is essential for my body to heal from reactions and illness. Pushing through is helpful to a point, but rest is needed to heal completely. Jesus calls us to come to him when we are tired and have heavy loads. Jesus will give us rest. Yes, we need physical rest, but we also need spiritual and emotional rest. That is, we need to rest in the presence of Jesus and allow Jesus to renew us from within. We tend to deplete our spiritual reservoir because we rely only on what we put into it. God’s grace never runs dry, we just think we have to earn the grace that we use. That is a false statement. Grace and love and forgiveness are freely given.

Sometimes, we think we need to get our act together first before God will love us and accept us as His child. We try to do all the right things, fix our guilt by staying busy and overcome our failures by volunteering more. Then we are exhausted even more. We think we should be through the grief, over the pain, healed from the trauma, and work harder to overcome the guilt and shame. We beat ourselves up. Stop reacting the way the world says to react to life.

Maybe, it is time to listen to Jesus’s words again,” Come to me, all of you who are tired and have heavy loads, and I will give you rest.” Trust Jesus. The rest is more than physical rest. It is rest from trying to prove to God that you can earn His love and grace. It is rest from feeling you should be better and farther along on the journey. It is time to rest in God’s loving arms and just be God’s child who is loved not for what you do, but for whose you are – God’s child.

Rest in the freedom that God has you. You are not alone in this struggle of life. Stop reacting to everything as if it is your responsibility. Sometimes things just happen, and we have to let it work itself out just like my reaction to medication. My body had to release it. I had to rest my body. Focus more on releasing instead of reacting. Rest in God’s presence and let God work it out.

My Books are available through different venues

• Tea Story in Upper Sandusky

• Personally through me

• Amazon

Living In The Different

Live Different Moments

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

Impact of the Loss

“Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his faithful servants.” Psalm 116:15

Lee passed away today. Harry died six weeks ago. Yale died several weeks ago. She texted me that Cathy died this morning. I read in the newspaper Judy died. He called to tell a classmate passed away. And the list goes on and on. We receive notifications in many ways. People die every day. Our paths may not have crossed for years. They were just in a season of our life. We were aware of who they were and knew them by name and face. We may have had a mutual involvement through church, school, sports, an event or organization. Their death still impacts life. It may not change our day-to-day life or make life different like the loss of a close loved one. The loss still makes us reflect on their life and legacy and life in general.

For instance, I remember Lee’s impact on Jr. High youth when he taught Sunday School and was involved in work camp. I remember his honesty and truth in writing as a reporter. I remember Harry’s quiet strength and love for his wife. Yale’s smile was contagious, and his relaxed joyful attitude made others enjoy being with him. Cathy’s faithfulness to Jesus and her ministry leaves a legacy and a prayer group. So many memories even when grief is not intense.

This type of grief is different. It is one more person we have known that is no longer residing here on earth. We celebrate that they lived and we knew them. We are grateful for their legacy. We are sad for their families. So, what do we do with our grief? It does not feel right to be sad since the relationship may have been more distant or in the past. I believe we need to pause and give thanks for their life. They lived and their life had meaning and purpose. They were loved. We need to rest for a moment in our own thoughts about how our paths crossed. Give yourself time to sit in the memories and give thanks for a life lived.

These reflections have had an impact on some of my recent visits. I visited several of my ninety plus friends and realized that they will soon be residents of Heaven. There will be an empty place in my life. My heart is full, and my soul enriched because of these friendships. I have chosen to stay involved in their lives because of the history of our connections. One asked me the next time I visited to assist in planning her funeral. She is not sad about death but is at peace with the end of this life and the beginning of life in Heaven. Another friend with memory issues talked about her love for Jesus and one day God will say to her, “Hey, Sue get in here.” Being in Heaven with Jesus filled her eyes with tears of joy.

Then there is the impact of loss that we experience in tragedies in our world. For instance, the loss of life in the recent airline crashes. Immediately, we feel the pain and sorrow with the traumatic deaths of innocent people who were on their way to their destination. The deaths bring a mixture of feelings and heartache. Death should bring a pause in our lives, a time of reflection and prayer, and a gratefulness for the gift of life.

There is still an emptiness whenever death occurs. On our walk a few days ago, a small deer lay dead in the ditch. It had been hit earlier that day, and I felt an overwhelming sadness. It may have been one of the little fawns we had watched grow up and run through our woods. All of God’s creatures whether animals or humans are important to God. Any loss of life should affect us in some way, and we should not become completely numb to loss. Each life is precious to God.

There needs to be a balance in the impact of loss. Not so numb and walled off that we do not feel anything, but not extreme that everything is a gut punch. When someone you know dies no matter when you saw them last or the closeness of the relationship, recognize the loss of life and the emptiness of our world. Nobody will do exactly what they did, the way they did. That is the uniqueness of human life. Give thanks for the gift of their life and the legacy they leave and the impact they made on your own journey. When there was no personal connection, pray for their family and friends and give thanks for their gifts to this world.

Recognize the loss. Send a card. Go to the funeral. Say a prayer. Remember.

My Books are available through different venues

• Tea Story in Upper Sandusky

• Personally through me

• Amazon

Living In The Different

Live Different Moments

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

Frozen In Time

“The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?” Psalm 27:1

This winter I agree with the bears. Hibernation for the winter is sounding pretty good right now. With the below zero temperatures and unusual snow accumulation in the South and blizzard conditions in the northeast, being curled up asleep seems like a great option. In this current polar vortex, life seems to stop. Schools and businesses close and events are cancelled. Staying inside a warm house seems to be the choice of many people. Some of you find it cozy and enjoy the time inside to do fun activities and tasks. Others of you just shut down and spend mindless time scrolling social media or binge watching something on TV. The cold has frozen your motivation.

There are situations in our lives that seem to freeze us in time. That is, we are hyper-focused on the situation and the rest of life does not seem to matter. When we are in the middle of cancer treatments and illness, life feels frozen in the disease. When a tragedy has happened, life is at a standstill, and you are numb to what is around you. In grief, life seems to be frozen in time. Every reference is based either on life before the loss or after the loss. You begin a story by saying, “That was before he died.” “That happened after the fire.” Life is frozen in time in a calamity or trauma.

Relationships may also hibernate for a while because of distance in miles or distance through life changes. Like a bear, friendships may awaken for a period of time. You connect the past into the present and remember. Sometimes these moments create a continuous relationship and other times just for a brief moment. You remember and cherish the memory, but life has moved in different directions.

When you experience loss and change, you feel like you want to hibernate from life. Life is so different, and you cannot grasp how to live into this new way of life. This hibernation is like a resting state. You may remain active on the surface and complete tasks and the necessities of life, but inside you are a jumbled-up mess of feelings, emotions, and indescribable confusion. Life stopped moving forward and you want to curl up and just stay where life changed. It seems impossible to function. So, for some of you, the change and loss has become your reality, and you are choosing to just rest in life right where the hurt happened. That is fine for now. Rest. Hibernate.

The reality is that life does go on. The bears wake up. Winter turns into Spring. Events happen again. The winter freeze thaws. But life does not go back to normal after any type of loss, disease, or change. Life is now different in every aspect, and you get to decide, “Do I stay frozen in the life I had and allow fear to take control?” That is, do you just exist and function in life and retreat into your loneliness and empty familiarity?

Listen to the bears. Be in a resting state for a period of healing time. Give yourself permission to rest, to heal, to feel, to reflect, to pray, to release. The bears know life goes on. When they awaken, life around them may have changed, but they adjust and continue with life. They learn to live in the moment in front of them. Learn to live in the moments in front of you.

You cannot take steps into this different life alone. God is your light and salvation. God directs your path and gives you grace. God is your stronghold – your foundation, your strength and protection. Begin to thaw. Trust God in this different. God walks into your hibernation and frozen state and takes you by the hand. You have a desire to move forward and trust, but you have no strength or motivation. The strength to take steps forward come from God’s Spirit that is within you.

Hibernate for a while if you need. Allow the God’s healing spirit to thaw your heart. Hope forward.

My Books are available through different venues

• Tea Story in Upper Sandusky

• Personally through me

• Amazon

Living In The Different

Live Different Moments

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

Brokenhearted

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and he saves those whose spirits have been crushed.” Psalm 34:18

Hurricanes, floods, and fires have filled the news as many people in our country have experienced the devastation and loss of their homes and possessions. Lives have been lost, and nothing will be the same in many communities. When everything we have acquired in life in way of material wealth has been destroyed, life takes on a different perspective. People are at a loss as to what to do now. Everything that was familiar is gone. Their emotions are raw, and they are broken in spirit.

While I personally experienced the loss of my home and possessions because of a fire when I was a teenager, it was a single incident not the mass destruction that our country has witnessed. But I remember the emotions and feelings connected to the loss. Everything you regarded as your own no longer exists. Your identity had been wrapped up in where you live, what you own, and what you regard as valuable. Life is viewed through these material possessions. Your heart is broken, and you have no idea how to live and face life.

It is important to grieve the loss. Emotionally, we fall apart. We experience something that is so foreign to our life, and it is difficult to process that what happened was real. I remember having dreams about the fire for months. Sometimes, I would wake up and think for a moment everything was just a dream, but then the reality would hit me. I felt the same way after the death of my husband, Dave. I would have dreams about him, and I would wake up believing the past months were just a dream, and then reality would hit, and I would fall apart.

Sometimes the only way to begin to heal is to fall apart. To fall apart is to be at our lowest but also the most vulnerable and broken. It is knowing we do not have the ability to fix or heal or put our lives back together. This is a full surrender. “I need help. I have no clue what to do next.” We are brokenhearted and feel abandoned and alone.

We each have events, experiences, and situations that break our hearts. We have no strength on our own. It is in the brokenness of our lives that we begin to assess where we have placed our values and focus. After my house fire, my view of material possessions changed. They are necessary and needed but not the most important part of life. Relationships are central. My relationship with those I love and my relationship with God takes precedence. I began to focus on the blessings not the losses.

This is difficult when our heart is broken and the grief is intense, but healing begins when we change our focus from the loss to the blessings. This does not mean that crying and grief and sadness is wrong because when we have experienced loss and tragedy, we will have these feelings in some way the rest of our lives. Our heart will always remember the brokenness. Healing begins when we focus on the blessing of having our loved one in our lives. It is focusing on what we still have – our own lives and the lives of others we love. It is focusing on what is most important in life. It is knowing that God is with us in the brokenness. God is the only one who walks with us in the brokenness and is the One who brings healing and hope out of the ashes of our lives. I cannot explain why tragedies happen, but they do. We try to make sense of something that makes no sense to us.

All I know is that God is close to the brokenhearted. That means God is close to you and me. God saves and rescues our crushed spirits. God wants to carry the burdens of our lives and give us hope when life seems so hopeless. It is accepting that this tragedy and brokenness has happened, how do I take steps into the life I now have? It is knowing God walks with us each step. It is not easy to start over, but God was with us before, and God will be with us now. You can live even when your heart is broken. You live in the healing.

Pray for those whose lives have been torn apart from all the tragedies. Pray for those around you whose hearts are broken from loss and change. Pray for yourself and allow God to bring healing and hope.

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My Books are available through different venues

• Tea Story in Upper Sandusky

• Personally through me

• Amazon

Living In The Different

Live Different Moments

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

Settling For Less

“I sought the Lord, and He answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.” Psalm 34:4

For over three years, I have been making a protein shake for every breakfast and most lunches. My shakes include a banana, blueberries, spinach or some type of greens, protein powder, water, and ice. Sometimes the shakes are icy, sometimes watery, and sometimes smooth. I have used a standard blender and accepted that the shakes are fine. I purchased a new protein powder that created a foamier shake, and the small blender could not hold it all. So, I decided to purchase a larger one made specifically for smoothies. Was I ever in for a shock, my protein shakes are now amazing and smooth. My Ninja makes the best shakes. They are creamy and delicious. Who knew a different blender would make such a difference.

I had settled for less than the best, and I accepted that it was fine. I was still drinking them and getting my protein. Now, I see that I was settling for something that was just acceptable. I have experienced the amazing shakes and would never go back to making them the old way. I was choosing mediocre when at my disposal was quality.

So, what does a blender have to do with life and living fully? I believe a lot. I have been reflecting on how my situation applies to life. We tend to cling to old ways that we believe are fine and acceptable because it is how we have always done it. We tend to keep going in the same direction and same focus knowing that it is not totally fulfilling, but it will do. We still do the necessary tasks and function as well as the average person.

I believe God has so much more to give us in life, but we get pre-occupied with the little we have and hoard and hold on to it. We feel we have lost so much through the death of loved ones, dreams dashed, and what we thought would happened and it did not. We try to hold on to what we have. We fear losing it, and if we take another risk and try to live again, we will experience hurt and pain.

Fear holds us back. We know what it was like to hurt and experience the pain of loss and separation and we do not want to go through that again. So, we hold on to what we can control and just function in our little space. I believe God has so much more to give us. When we cling so tightly to what we have – what is left to the life we had or what we have accumulated – it never is satisfying. We spend so much time and energy trying to keep it safe and keep ourselves from being hurt. We pull inward and live in anxiety, fear, and worry.

Wow, all this from a blender? Yes! Sometimes we have to take the risk and experience life to the fullest. It may not be what we had but it will be a new adventure. When we settle, we also complain about the struggles and what we don’t have and the unsettledness within us. Yes, life is risky, just like buying a new blender – don’t know if we will like it or if it will work. But we will not know until we try it.

Take the risk. Buy the new blender. Go on the trip. Take the adventure. Change your routine. Try something new. Eat something different. Go to the gym. Reach out to a friend. Take a walk in the snow. You will not know if you like it, until you try it.

You can also do it afraid because God promises to be with us and to deliver us from our fears. That means we need to surrender our fears to Him. We may fear getting out of the rut because it is so familiar but unsatisfying. We know we are settling for less, but do not know how to change or motivate ourselves to take the steps.

Surrender and relinquish control to God. Trust Him. Take one step at a time. Take the risk. Do it afraid.

My Books on Amazon

Live Different Moments

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

Living In The Different

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

Sifting Through

“Let us discern for ourselves what is right, let us learn together what is good.” Job 34:4

My cousin shared his memories with me about our house fire when both of us were teenagers. My cousin came with his dad the day after the fire, and together with my dad, they sifted through the rubble in search of anything of value. Dan recalls the smell that lingers in his soul even to this day. He had never experienced this type of tragedy, and the sight and smells have remained within him. During this Christmas season, I sifted through my tote of memories in search of letters that I have treasured from my mom. In the sifting through, I found two letters from my dad which are probably the only ones he ever wrote to any of his children.

At the end of the Christmas season, we sift through the sale racks and the half off Christmas decorations to find a hidden treasure. We sift through the bargain racks in hopes of finding something perfect. Each time we sift through something, we are looking for something of value, something that has meaning to us. To sift through is to discern if what we find has value and purpose. Sometimes it only has value because of the memory.

I no longer write New Year’s resolutions or goals, but now I choose a word for the year. This year I have chosen “Discern.” To discern is to recognize or identify as distinct, to perceive, to determine, to sift through. When you discern, you understand, comprehend, and grasp the meaning. For me, I want to discern God’s will and direction for this year. I want to pray and talk with God and listen for God’s voice in my heart. But in this discernment, I need to sift through the chatter of this world and my own thoughts. My desire is to discern what God is saying to me which may be different than what others perceive from God. Discernment is personal and specific to an individual. It is sifting through the noises and voices around me and finding the One that gives value and purpose to my life.

As we begin 2025, we reflect on the past year and what we had hoped would happen. We review in our head the good and the struggles, and we discern the purpose and meaning of the events of the past. In these ruminations, we also wonder why certain things happened and also seek to find the blessings among the challenges. We remember the adventures, the relationships, and the struggles. For some of you, the new year brings a different life because of the loss of a loved one. Some of you are experiencing the journey of health issues and the diagnosis of an illness. You are trying to discern why you or your family member has to go through this difficulty.

To discern involves our reflections on the past. We are trying to understand the “whys” of life. Why did this happen? Why him? Why her? Why now? In this understanding also comes an acceptance that I may never grasp the entire meaning, but I need to trust that God is still with me and in the situation. God was with you in the past and that does not change. I need to learn from the past but not continue to live in it and allow the past to control my present. The past is our foundation for the present. This is also discernment.

My word for 2024 was “listen,” and I was more intentional on listening to other people and what was really important to them. I was more focused on listening to what God was saying to me in the Bible and in my quiet time. To me, discernment is the next step to deepen my relationship with God and with all my relationships. To discern involves listening but with a focus on understanding the meaning of not only what is being said but how does it apply to my life or my relationship with the person. It is discerning my purpose for today.

May this new year bring discernment for you as you listen to God and the next steps God has for you. Remember, it is one step at a time and focusing on what is in front of you.

My Books on Amazon

Live Different Moments

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

Living In The Different

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

Reflection of the Light

“The true Light that gives light to all was coming into the world.”  John 1:9

I took the picture of our back yard that is with this blog and noticed the reflection of lights in the picture.  The Christmas tree lights reflected off the back door when I took it.  Later that day, I noticed the reflection of the sunlight through our windows onto the floor.  It brightened and warmed our home.  In my counseling office I have a prism in the window given to me by the funeral home who cremated my dear dog, Annie.  When the sun light hits it directly in the afternoon, small rainbows bounce around the walls and the floor of the room.  It always makes me smile, and I feel Annie’s spirit all around me.

In the darkness of the evening, the Christmas lights in the park reflect on the pond and make the lights even more magical.  Lights shine brightest in the dark.  Light illuminates the darkness.  Light reflects on glass and other surfaces.  To reflect is to give back, to throw back, to bounce back.  Light bounces off the surface but does not absorb into it but reflects off of it.

As we conclude another year, what are your reflections of 2024?  What has this year been for you?  For some of you, the year has been filled with challenges, struggles, and sadness.  For some of you, grief became an uninvited companion.  Some of you experienced the joy of new life, new adventures, and new experiences.  For some of you, life stayed about the same and familiar.  This year has reflected changes and a different life for most of you. 

I keep a log or journal of adventures or events, and each day I write down something that happened that was significant or noteworthy.  Then on New Year’s Eve, I read through the year’s log and reflect on all that happened.  It is also a time to give thanks to God for walking me through the year and for the blessings and the challenges of the year.  As I reflect, I am aware that God has been with me through it all – the highs and lows, the joys and the challenges.  God placed people on my path and gave me a purpose each day.

For the past nine years, since my husband, Dave, died, I have not written resolutions or goals for the year, but I have chosen a word to be my focus. My word for 2024 has been “listen.”  I have been reflecting on how I listened this year.  I listened to clients in counseling sessions.  I listened to friends and family and shared life together.  I listened to experts in various professions in making decisions.  I listened to my heart and moved back to my hometown.  I have tried to listen to God each day for my purpose that day.

To listen is to give one’s attention to a sound, to pay attention, to be attentive and take it in.  It is not just hearing a sound, but it is taking it within your soul and understanding what another person or what nature is saying to you.  To listen is to be reflective and give back your focus and acceptance to the one speaking.  It is to reflect the light of that person into your heart.

As you reflect on this past year, recognize God has brought you through this year.  God has illuminated your darkness with His light.  God has listened to your heart.  This year may not have been what you desired.  You may feel sad, lonely, angry, different, or confused.  It is in the darkest times of our lives that the light of Christ shines the brightest.  The light reflects the glory of God and does not absorb the emotions but brings hope into them.

We have just experienced the Christmas Season when God breaks through the darkness of our lives and world and gives light and hope to everyone through the birth of Jesus.  Emmanuel – God is with us. The Christmas lights reflect the joy of the season.  When you pack away the Christmas lights continue to reflect the light of God’s love.  Do not put away your kindness and the spirit of compassion and love with all the decorations.  Reflect the true light of the world – Jesus – to this broken world every day.  Christmas is not just a day – it is a season.  A season that never ends because the light of Jesus shines in your hearts.  It is not so much about what is going on around you but what is within you. In the darkness of your heart, God still shines His light of love and hope.

Reflect the light of Jesus.  Allow the light of Jesus to shine within your own heart too.

My Books on Amazon

Live Different Moments

 Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

Living In The Different       

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

Same Story

“Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.”  Luke 2:19

When I think of the Christmas season, one story comes to the forefront of my memories.  When I was a teenager our house burnt down on Sunday, December 23rd.  My life changed in many ways that day.  I had no place to call home, and I lost all my material possessions.  My family had no home, but we still had a farm with animals that needed care.  I lived with my grandmother for three months.  My brother who was still living at home, went to live with another brother.  My parents lived in a small RV on the farm to care for the animals until other arrangements for a home could be made.

Out of the ashes of this tragedy, God still brought good.  Our church family and community rallied around our family and provided support and needed clothing and financial assistance.  At a young age, I learned that relationships are more important than possessions.  I have told this story many times throughout my life, but it reminds me not to focus on material possessions and that God can bring good out of the bad and brokenness of life.  The story never grows old as I remember God’s love and care through others during this tragedy.

Christmas is a time to share stories and memories.  Not everyone has happy memories, but God can bring good out of the bad.  God can redeem the memories.  Some people remember Christmas presents, Christmas programs at school and church, snow, favorite foods, worship services, and most of all the people with whom we shared the season.  We remember how we felt, and the emotions connected to the joy of the season.

When my siblings gather, we begin to share memories of Christmas and retell the stories.  We all tell the same story first.  The story always goes something like this – “remember when we had to buzz (cut) wood every Christmas morning before we could unwrap our presents.”  We heated our house with two wood stoves, and my dad knew he could get all of us to help with the wood when the motivation was Christmas presents.  It is the same story that never grows old.

The story of the birth of Jesus is the same story that is told each year at Christmas.  This story never grows old.  It is timeless and never loses its relevance and power.  Mary and Joseph travel to Bethlehem.  Mary gives birth to Jesus and lays him in a manger.  The angels appear to the shepherds. The Shepherds come.  The wise men bring gifts.  God comes to earth in the form of a baby to redeem the world.  The story never grows old.  It never changes.  God still comes.

I wonder how many times Mary shared the story of Jesus’ birth throughout her life.  Telling of the angel appearing to her announcing that she was chosen to give birth to the Messiah. How Joseph did not leave her but believed her and the angel who appeared to him.  The journey to Bethlehem and giving birth, and all those who came to see the baby.  It was the same story that never grew old for Mary.  She treasured the memories.

Christmas is a time of memories and stories.  When we tell and retell the stories, Christmas becomes more than just a day.  The stories become alive again.  The memories are real and a part of who we are.  The memories are about relationships that gave meaning to our lives. 

Never stop sharing your memories.  Tell the same old story over and over again because it has meaning to your life.  You are who you are because of these memories and the people who are in these memories.  Your loved one comes alive again in your heart as you tell the same stories.  The stories reveal the love that never ends. 

Christmas is a love story.  God loves us so much that He came to earth as a baby to redeem us.  Keep telling your story.  Keep telling the Christmas story.  Both stories are about the deep love that is in your heart. 

My Books on Amazon

Live Different Moments

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

Living In The Different       

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

He Still Comes

“And the angel said to her, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you…”   Luke 1:35

She sat in a chair all by herself in the corner of the room looking peaceful.  I approached her and spoke her name.  She looked up and smiled.  I was familiar to her though she did not know my name or our relationship.  I had come to visit with her and brought her chocolate chip cookies.  She took the two cookies eagerly and slowly ate both of them with such enthusiasm.  We listened to Christmas carols on my phone and sang along – “Away In A Manger,” “Silent Night,” and then “Go, Tell It On The Mountain.” 

I played Josh Turner’s version of “Go, Tell It on The Mountain” and the words of the chorus are -“Go, tell it on the mountain, over the hills and everywhere, Go, tell it on the mountain that Jesus Christ is born.”  As these words were sung, the Holy Spirit came upon her, and she began to cry tears of joy.  She spoke through her tears, “Those words are so beautiful.  I feel the Lord all around me.”  It was evident that the Holy Spirit came upon this dear soul whose mind was ravaged by dementia.  She still knew Jesus and her heart was full of His love.  At that moment, Christmas came for me.  We prayed and her faith flowed from her tears.  I felt the Spirit as I held her hand.  I experienced Christmas – God with us.  Jesus came.

I walked into Sharon’s room.  She was sitting alone in her room, lost in her thoughts watching mindless TV.  Her face lit up as she recognized me.  “Oh, Elaine, it is so good to see you.”  Her joy came in our conversation.  She was so grateful I came.  It was God who nudged me to visit.  To take the time and listen to who God was putting on my path today.  As we prayed together, I experienced Christmas – Jesus came again.

Each visit that day was filled with purpose and meaning.  God gave me a plan for the day to bring hope and joy to others and in return God came to me reminding me what this season of Christmas is all about.  It is God breaking into our world and being with us.  God breaks through even in the traditions of the Christmas season.

I watched the Christmas parade in my hometown.  It felt like a Hallmark evening with the town filled with people and excited children.  The children were expecting lots of candy to be thrown on the parade route and Santa to close out the parade.  There were bands, floats, trucks, singers, a Christmas Vacation float with the station wagon and tree, and the Grinch.  One float from a local church shared the true meaning of Christmas through the Nativity scene with a lighted cross and church in the background.  I experienced the joy of Christmas through all of the magic of the parade. But I knew the Spirit had come upon the parade when those announcing each exhibit in the parade stated when the Church’s Nativity float passed by – “Jesus is the reason for this season.”  They were not ashamed to publicly declare Christmas is about Jesus.  Jesus came again.

Christmas is not just a day or a season.  Yes, there are many traditions that we only experience in the Christmas season like Christmas parades, Christmas lights, presents, and the nativity.  Christmas is so much more, but when we believe it is just a day or season, then when it is over there is a sadness and unfulfillment.  We prepared and now it is completed, and we have not experienced the Spirit coming and filling us with a sense of joy and wonder.  Sometimes we spend so much time buying, wrapping gifts, decorating, making the meal for that one day.  The family comes, eats the meal, unwraps the gifts and spends a few hours.  Then it is over.  All that work for a few hours.  Your focus was on the task of preparing, but what are you preparing for?

When loss enters the Christmas season, the emptiness is already there even before beginning any preparations. You are preparing to be sad and feel the loneliness of the day without your loved one.   Christmas needs to be more than a day.  Christmas comes every day we allow Jesus to come anew into our hearts.  Every time we are touched by a song like “Go, tell it on a Mountain.”  Every time we listen to God and make the visit, the phone call, bake the cookies, give a hug, say a prayer.

God still comes.  God’s Spirit will come upon us even in our sadness and emptiness.  God comes in our loneliness and unfulfillment to overshadow the darkness and give us the light of life.  God still comes to bring hope to the hopelessness of this world.  God still comes even when we do not feel like celebrating.  God still comes to be with us.  Allow God to come in your brokenness, heartache, and sadness.  God comes just to be with us. 

Great Gifts For Christmas 

My Books on Amazon

Live Different Moments

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

Living In The Different       

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

Winds of The Season

“Behold a virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and his name shall be called Emmanuel which means God with us.”   Matthew 1:23

The wind was ferocious, blowing everything in its pathway including some light snow.  The windchill made the temperature in the single digits.  It’s Ohio and it is December.  But why on the night when the Christmas Gathering was happening?  It did not deter us from attending the Christmas Homecoming service at the church where I grew up.  I was sad that the gathering was small because people chose not to come out at night in the wind and cold.  The wind may have prevented a large crowd, but it did not take away the spirit and joy of the evening.

Together we sang Christmas carols, listened to Scripture and a devotion, and breathed in the beauty of the sanctuary decorated for the season.  I was given the privilege of sharing memories with the group and now I get to share those memories with all of you.  Christmas memories.  We all have memories of Christmas times from our childhood.  Memories are what fill our hearts and create traditions.

My first memory of Christmas in Wesley Chapel Church is singing “Away in a Manger” as a little girl and sharing Bible verses that my mom, who was my Sunday School teacher, taught us in class.  I remember Christmas Sunday worship with Walter Fox leading the singing and the organ and piano being played by several different saints – Naomi, Irene, Arlene, Vera.  Walter always chose “Go Tell It On The Mountain” as one of the songs we sang together.

At the end of the Sunday School time, the organist would begin to play “Here Comes Santa Claus” and from the back of the church, Santa would make his entrance carrying a bag of goodies for the children.  My dad did not believe Santa Claus belonged in the church and would usher our whole family out the door during Santa’s entrance. But someone always managed to give us the white bag of candy and an orange as we went out the door.

I remember going Christmas caroling to the homes of all the older members of the Church.  Walter and Berniece always shared homemade cookies with all the singers.  George and Emma invited everyone into their home to sing.  We had to introduce ourselves to them and usually tell them who our parents were.  Then we would end our time at Arlene and Harold’s home for food and fellowship.

The memories come from events associated with Wesley Chapel Church.  The memories are about the people in these events.  As I shared at the service, I began to name the saints that sat in those pews who are now in Heaven.  We were surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses.  These saints were the foundation of my faith.  They brought me to the manger.  They brought me to Jesus who is God with us.  They were the spirit of Jesus that blew through my life and brought me to the saving grace of Jesus.

Memories are the winds that blow through us in each season of life.  Memories seem to be more intense in the holiday season, especially Thanksgiving and Christmas.  I believe this is because of the traditions that are associated with each one.  Those traditions are connected to people who are no longer on this earth and therefore the holiday is not the same.  We expect those traditions to continue like they always have and for life to stay the same.  We expect everyone to show up like they have every holiday season.

But the winds of the season blow in unexpected directions and create change, loss, and unexpected intensity.   Sometimes the winds are cold, and we do not want to step out into the intensity of change. Even in all the wind, the memories remain like a firm foundation.  Nobody can take away your memories because memories are filled with love.  The love of those who have surrounded you, and like the saints of Wesley Chapel, brought me to the greatest love of all – the love of God found in Jesus.  God will allow the wind of this season to blow, but it will not take you away from His love. 

This Christmas season, allow the memories to come and fill you with a sense of hope and gratefulness.  No matter how you feel.  No matter what you have experienced this year.  Jesus still comes to be with you.  Emmanuel – God is with us.

Great Gifts For Christmas 

My Books on Amazon

Live Different Moments

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

Living In The Different       

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

 Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

Rays Of Hope

“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”  Hebrews 11:1

November usually brings less sunshine and more gloom to the weather which tends to affect our mood and energy level.  I received a ray of hope and sunshine this past week in several ways.  First, my niece, Raya, spent the afternoon with me.  Her name is Raya Hope, and she is a ray of hope in how she loves life.  Her energy is boundless, and her creativity and conversation are delightful.  We baked cookies, and she skillfully and with great detail, decorated the cookies.  A hug from Raya is like touching hope!

Then, we walked through the Christmas Fantasy of Lights at the local park.  They open the park for people to walk through the light display and experience the beauty of the season through lights.  For me, the ray of hope came through the lights of the nativity displayed throughout the park.  It also came in the faces of the children who were mesmerized by the lights. 

A ray of hope rang our doorbell recently.  When I answered the door, there stood my neighbor and her young daughter who was full of joy and smiles.  They had made a gift for me.  It was a beautiful ornament for our Christmas tree.  She was so excited to share this gift with me.  It is proudly displayed front and center on our Christmas tree. 

As I sat in my living room, a ray of sunshine came through the gloom of the day.  It was as if a spotlight had been placed on my Precious Moments Nativity set and the sun beam lit up the stable with baby Jesus.  My niece, Raya, had been rearranging the scene and placed all the figurines in the tiny stable.  It was crowded but everyone was close to Jesus.  She wanted everyone to fit in the stable and be around the baby.  This gave me another ray of hope.  Is that not what God wants for all of us to be as close to Jesus as possible?

Rays of hope come to us out of the darkness of the day or our hearts.  Hope is the glimmer of light that reflects into the darkest recesses and for a moment fills us with a sense that life is good.  Hope is like reaching into the darkness and trusting that God is there even when we do not see or feel His abiding presence.

As we enter the Advent Season and make plans to celebrate Christmas, hope needs to be central in our thoughts.  Jesus comes into the darkness of our broken and fallen world and brings hope.  Our world is divided, and the negativity is expressed constantly in all media.  Your personal life may have been shattered because of loss, illness, changes, and hurt from others. You may be wondering how to take a step into this brokenness.  Hope is not denying all of this is around you.  Hope is changing your focus and looking for the rays that break through the darkness of life.

Jesus comes as a baby to become like us and to be the perfect sacrifice for our sins.  But I believe he also comes as a baby because a baby bring hope – a ray of hope.  We tend to smile when a child smiles and see the beauty in the simple aspects of life.  Hope is focusing not on the world and its glitter and tinsel this season, but that God loves you and me so much that God came to earth in the form of a baby to be with us.  To be our ray of hope.

You are not alone in this season.  Jesus is God with us.  It is reaching out in the darkness of your life and heart and trusting that God will take your hand and walk you through and sometimes carry you.  Look for rays of hope – moments that make you smile and lighten your burden.  Moments that remind you there is good in this world and good people around you.  Moments when you experience the presence of God with you.  Emmanuel – God is with us.

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You will find all my past blogs on my website – www.livinginthedifferent.com

My Books on Amazon

Live Different Moments

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

Living In The Different       

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

Grateful For The Rhythm

“The Lord your God is with you; the mighty One will save you.  He will rejoice over you. You will rest in his love; He will sing and be joyful about you.”  Zephaniah 3:17

Last year, we attended the Gaither Christmas Homecoming Concert and discovered a new group that was traveling with the Gaithers.  We enjoyed their style of music, the blending of voices and the power of the Spirit in them.  We began hearing them more on the radio and decided to check out their touring schedule.  They were going to perform at a church less than an hour from us, so we put the date on the calendar.  I thought it was strange that no tickets were needed since the group has had several number one songs on the Christian charts.

We invited a couple to join us.  We arrived at the church, and I was shocked how small the building was and wondered about their connection to this church.  I was grateful for the opportunity to hear this group – The Sound – and now I was amazed to share in this intimate fellowship.  The pastor and church had a connection to the group and one of their songs – “First Church of Mercy” was an expression of how this little church lived out their love for Jesus.  I was grateful to experience the sweet rhythm of genuine love for Jesus.  God was truly singing joyfully over this Church.

The sweet spirit of Jesus was in the room and evident in the voices and faces of the members of The Sound – Rob, Levi and Jacob Mills.  The evening was truly a God moment filled with Christmas songs to prepare us for the season of Advent – the coming of Jesus, and an evening to feel God rejoice with us.  We bought one of their Cd’s and played it when we arrived home.  One of the songs – “Never Not God” has been one of our favorites.  A few of the lines state – “He’s never not faithful, never not kind, never not perfect, never not on time, never not good.”

This song has a unique way of expressing God’s unchanging presence.  God is never not God.  God is always the same.  Always with us.  Always loving us.  Always on time.  While we are not consistent. We go up and down in our feelings, our attitudes, and our emotions.  Some of you are more laid back than others, but we have our rhythms of life.  That is, we have a pattern for our lives and when changes occur, it affects our routine and tempo of life.

So how do you deal with the rhythmic changes in your life?  My friend told me she had some days recently that she had less energy, and the grayness of the weather was affecting her mood and desire to accomplish anything.  At first, she thought that it was wrong to have these feelings as a Christian, and that God would not love her for feeling this way.  But then, she told herself that God loves her no matter her moods, and that she was grateful for the up and down rhythms of life.  She was resting in God’s love.  God still loved her.  God was still with her.  It is being grateful for the slower tempos of life and knowing God is still God in these times.  Our moods and emotions do not change how God feels about us.

In a recent conversation, the person said in the past she accepted that God was directing her life and was joyful and accepting about God’s plan.  But now she did not like what had happened and was angry that God changed the plan she had for her life.  We talked about some of the reason she was feeling this way was her lack of control.  You do not have to like what happens in life nor do you have to like God’s way of handling the situation, but God is still God and God is still with you and still loves you.  It is being grateful for the rhythm of life even when you do not understand it.

I enjoy songs that have a slower tempo as well as those that have a joyful uplifting rhythm.  Both have a purpose, and both bring me in closer relationship with God as I sing, listen, and feel the Spirit through the music.  Just like in life, there is a purpose for the difficult paths and the mountain tops.  God is still God in each one, and God calls us to rest in His love as He sings His song of love and faithfulness to us.  It is like inhaling with gratefulness and exhaling in trust and obedience when we do not understand or like it.  It is trusting God even in the difficult rhythms of life.

Now breathe in with gratefulness and exhale in trust.  God is never not God.  God is with you in the rhythms of your life.

You can check out The Sound – www.thesound.org

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You will find all my past blogs on my website – www.livinginthedifferent.com

My Books on Amazon

Live Different Moments

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

Living In The Different       

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/