Possibilities
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“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Romans 12:18
She lives in an “all or nothing” thought pattern. If what she planned to do falls apart, then she does nothing. Her brain does not think about any other way or options. He can only focus on one relationship in his life. His priority is to one person, and he does not know how to relate or interact with multiple people at a time. He compartmentalizes his life and does not integrate himself and his beliefs into all aspects of his life. While it is good to maintain focus, there are other possibilities and options when life does not go as planned. You need not just quit.
When you live in an all or nothing world, that is, your thinking sees only one way of living, you can become lonely, anxious, and even depressed. Life did not turn out the way you had envisioned and hoped so you stay stuck in not knowing what to do. It is like living on a merry-go-round. You go around and around doing the same thing but making no progress but still feeling empty. Nothing changes but life around you appears to be moving on.
Then you make a “to do list” thinking it will motivate you to accomplish the tasks of life and move forward. When you do not complete the list, you feel like a failure and just quit trying. It is that all or nothing mentality. Oh, you may have the desire, but you are not motivated.
We want to live into this different life. We would prefer the old life but that is not reality. No matter how much we wish for or even try to recreate and not change anything, it is never the same. We cannot go back. That season of life is complete. We take the memories, the love, and incorporate all we have learned into our foundation.
Our focus needs to change from an “all or nothing” to “what are my options?” mentality. Our “to do list” can change to “Today’s Possibilities.” Life is different so how we approach life needs to be different too. All the planning and preparation to create a life just like we desire will not make the life happen because of other people’s decisions and the traumas, calamities, and pain of life. We try to protect and prepare so that we can prevent but it never works. So, when life does not turn out as you had hoped or planned, what do you do? Give up? Just exist? See no other way of living? Stay stuck? None of this works because there is no life in these ways.
I get frustrated when life does not go as I had hoped. People frustrate me when they do not follow through, but I am learning to accept people for who they are and not base my life on what other people do or do not do. I am learning to not live in these expectations and not assume other people have the same values and views. I am learning to say, “That’s who they are. God, change my focus to who I am in You and to the possibilities You have for me.”
Possibilities are what is more likely to happen. It is when we are willing to change our narrow focus from what will never happen again to the possible directions that open now before us. It is giving yourself permission to let go of what you had or wanted to have and accept the reality of the new and different. And within this reality, you have numerous choices and options. Sometimes we need to experience all these options. Just because you try an option does not mean you have to keep doing it. You can say, “I tried it.” “Not for me, but glad I had the experience.”
When you are afraid or anxious, it is also creating possibilities that will help you relax, defuse, and release these feelings. It is recognizing you do not need to stay in these heightened feelings or deny them or escape from them. It is creating healthy possibilities or options to release them and go in a different direction. Possibilities are centered on our surrender to God. It is trusting God to open our eyes to a new way of viewing our circumstances. It is being grateful for the life that God has before us.
Be open to the possibilities of life that are right in front of you.
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