Surface Deep
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“And I pray that you and all God’s holy people will have the power to understand the greatness of Christ’s love – how wide and how long and how high and how deep that love is.”
Ephesians 3:18 NCV
“Be like a duck. Calm on the surface but always paddling like the dickens underneath.” I have heard this old saying in many different versions. The essence of its meaning is you outwardly show that you are calm and have everything under control but what is happening underneath is that you are working as hard as you can to keep going. It is the façade that you express. Your outward appearance is maintained to hide the struggle within.
We live like this in our grief and in the struggles of life. We fear falling apart and being judged by others as weak. Therefore, we pretend and keep it under the surface. When asked how you are doing, you probably respond automatically, “I’m fine.” We are afraid to admit that we are not fine. We are falling apart. We are afraid. We are empty. Faith seems impossible. The depth of our being feels the darkness of life. So, we avoid the deep and all the feelings and emotions that are below the surface, and we exist on the surface of life. Fear is in control.
Surface living is filled with fear and anxiety. It is just existing in what you think you can handle and control on your own. It is relying on your own strength and wisdom. This creates exhaustion. The focus is on the expectations of others. Social media guides decision-making. Surface living allows media and entertainment to guide your thoughts and values. Your conversations revolve around people you do not personally have a relationship with, but you watch them in a box. When others are in control, your emotions and anxiety will be all over the place. You may be trying to please others who change their minds and change the rules on a whim. It becomes easier to live in your own little world – go to work or school and then return to the security of your space and escape with entertainment.
You function on the surface of life. The surface can also be a scary place. It may feel like nothing will work out. You are in a heightened state of anxiety trying to maintain control and appear all is well. You have nothing to ground you and hold onto as you float on the surface.
It is time to break up the surface and dig deeper. Take the risk and free yourself from the familiar and comfortable. It is not healthy, but you have done it for so long. Could there be more to life than just going through the motions of existing without purpose and meaning to your days?
Yes, the depth of life begins with Jesus. I am not talking about going to Church, the spiritual disciplines, or abiding by God’s Commandments – all which are good and important. I am referring to living in the constant presence of God. The depth of life is found in surrender and dependence on God. That no matter what happens around me which is the surface of life, God is with me. God will not always take me out of the pain or storm, but God will walk with me through it. When I mess up, God’s love is deeper than my sin and mess ups. I live forgiven and forward.
After loss, change, and a new season of life, I see life differently. The minutiae of the world or what society or others deem as important, is not where I desire to place my priorities. I want to go deeper and find purpose and meaning in each day and just enjoy the moments of life without the anxiety and fear of not pleasing others. I want to live so close to Jesus that I am content in every situation and know I am living in God’s presence and that is most important. I am living in the depth of life. God is in the depths and the heights. There is no place I can go or be that God is not there. That is trust. That is faith.
Living on the surface is always focused on this fallen world which will always disappoint and not meet your expectations. The surface pulls you away from even desiring the depths of life. Living deeper is believing there is more – an eternity more. It is faith in what you cannot see. But faith that will bring you peace, hope, and joy.
