Peace In Trusting

“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.”  Isaiah 26:3 (NIV)

As I write these words, I am sitting in my sunroom with my faithful companion dog, Annie.  She is at my feet on her prayer quilt made by sister.  Annie has been constantly by my side since my husband, Dave died.  She grieved with me, provided companionship so I would never be alone, and has gone to work with me as my therapy dog.  Annie has kept me active by walking and running with me.  Now Annie is preparing to cross over the rainbow bridge to run again in Heaven.  She has end stage diabetes, and it is just a matter of time.

Annie is still eating and drinking but sleeps most of the time.  She takes short walks and has lost weight and muscle tone.  It is a slow good-bye.  Her eyes tell me every day that she is getting tired.  Letting go is difficult for both of us.  It is knowing for me when it is time to release her.  The vet tells me I will know.  I believe God will let me know because He already knows.  I do not need to worry because God known when and what is going to happen.  I am at peace trusting God with my faithful companion even though it is sad and difficult.

Peace is knowing God is beside you and resting in that assurance.  You do not have to be anxious nor worry because God is in control and walking beside you.  Peace is not dependent upon the circumstances around you.  You can still be sad and have peace.  Peace is more about trusting God with all the unknowns of life.  It is giving to God your fears and your need to control and figure out each situation.  Peace is an inner contentment that trusts God even when you do not understand.

So many times in life we demand an answer to the “why?”  Why would someone kill innocent children?  Why would someone so full of life and purpose get cancer?  Why would God allow such evil and pain?  When we live in the whys of life, we are filled with anxiety, anger, and struggle.  It is not that I am denying all the evil, wrong, pain and heartache of this world, nor am I being naïve. I am trusting God that He knows the big picture and will bring good out of the situation in His time.  This does not justify evil or pain, but faces the reality of life that evil and pain happen so now what I am going to do about it?  I am going to trust God not my anxiety or worry or anger.

It is releasing the anxiety of the future by trusting God in the present.  It is trusting God’s timing not my desire to control.  I am trusting my dog, Annie is in God’s care.  I love and care for her and know God will release her to Heaven someday where she will be whole again and run and play.  Yes, I do believe dogs go to Heaven.  God created animals in His perfect world so Heaven is perfect, therefore, all God created that was good will be in Heaven.

I am trusting God in what I cannot see – the future and the timing of when change will happen.  Trust is not easy, but with trust comes peace.  Instead of planning everything and trying to fix and control the events of the future, I am trusting God and relaxing in God’s presence.  I trust God will lead me.  I am trusting God in each situation and focusing on God with me.  When we focus on all our thoughts, anxiety is heightened, and we go inward thinking we need to be in control of the outcome of everything around us.  There is no peace because we are trusting in ourselves to accomplish everything.  This is exhausting and overwhelming.  We are not living in the present, but our thoughts are focused on the future.  We become afraid of all the unknowns of life.

Peace is trusting that God has us.  Peace is trusting God knows everything.  Peace is trusting God will walk us through whatever situation we are in if we release it to God and take His hand on the journey through it.  Peace for me is trusting God with my faithful companion.  God will hold her close and me as we journey together.  I am at peace.  I am still sad.  I am trusting God.

Releasing Repetition

“What a glorious Lord!  He who daily bears our burdens also give us our salvation.”  Psalm 68:19

I have a daily routine.  When I arise in the morning, I do my stretches, morning walk, run, lift weights, and then drink my protein shake while reading my devotions.  I spend time praying on my run and listening to God through the words of my devotions.  I read a chapter of the Bible and post on Facebook a verse from the chapter.  My routine has meaning and purpose.  It is healthy for my soul and body.  I look forward to how God will speak to me.  I feel an accomplishment through my physical exercise.  Sometimes through nature – the birds, the sunrise, the deer – I see and hear God’s presence.  Sometimes God gives me a thought or word.  Sometimes a verse of Scripture speaks directly to my heart.  The routine is regular and fulfilling.

But one morning during my morning run and prayer time, God spoke to me and brought conviction to my prayer time.  It had become so routine that it was repetitive.  I was praying the same thing every day as if God was forgetful and I had to remind Him of my concerns and needs.  My prayer was becoming so routine that I was in a rut.  While I was listening to God and God spoke new and different thoughts and ideas to me, I was repeating the same conversation back to Him.

A routine is good as long as it has meaning, value, and purpose.  When it becomes negative and mundane, it becomes a rut.  A rut is dull and unproductive and very difficult to change because it becomes comfortable and familiar even though it is unhealthy.  There is no growth when you are stuck in a rut.  We cannot always change our routine totally, but we can change our attitude toward it and vary it by changing the sequence or adding different touches to it.

So when our prayers become routine and repetitive, it is time to change our prayers.  Praying is being in God’s Presence and desiring to communicate and grow closer to the One who loves us.  So some days, I just sigh and listen to the Spirit within me.  I thank God for the day and what is around me instead of going through my list of concerns.  I still pray for my needs and the people who need prayer, but it is throughout the day.  It is trusting God with those I continue to hold close and claiming His watchful care upon them.  It is thanking God for being with them.  My run prayer time is becoming more a time to thank God and to trust Him for today and to listen to what God is saying to me through His Spirit.

It is releasing the need to keep telling God what He already knows and to trust His will.  It is saying to God, “I am still trusting you in the situation.”  Releasing the repetition challenges us to grow in our relationship with God by being open to new thoughts and guidance from the Holy Spirit instead of going around in circles saying the same thing and never growing closer to Him.

If we can begin to release the repetition in our spiritual life, can we begin to get out of the daily rut of our lives and thoughts?  First, we need to be aware of the rut of our anxious thoughts swirling around in our heads.  The dailyness of life can be changed by doing things differently, focusing on finding God in each moment, and being grateful.  But the rut of worry and anxiety runs deep and familiar.

Anxiety and worry is a repetition of a constant fear of the unknown so we create scenarios of what could happened and keep worrying about it.  Anxiety is thoughts on what is the worst that could happen.  So to begin, we need to release to God our need to plan for disaster and begin to trust that God is in control.  It is relaxing in God’s presence and trust He will lead you each step of the way.  It is surrendering control of the future to God.  He is already there, you are not.  You are in the present, so live fully in the present.

Resting My Thoughts

“Yes my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him.”  Psalm 62:5

The sunshine and the smell of Spring has always brought the thoughts of Spring cleaning.  The cleaning of windows, curtains, and deep cleaning of each room and outside the winter clean up in anticipation of Spring planting.  The smells of Spring trigger reminders of years past and the preparation of planting season on the farm.  This year just living in my space for a year, I have no thoughts of these tasks.  I am waiting for the condo yard crew to do the outside work and with all the updating of the inside, the organizing and cleaning is complete.  I am resting from the labor and the thoughts and planning.

Now I am pondering the concept of rest – the resting of my thoughts not just my body.  For some of you, your thoughts never stop.  It is like a merry-go-round in your head.  Thoughts race around concerning the future.  These thoughts lead to worry and anxiety.  They never stop and you are exhausted mentally and physically because your thoughts do not cease to allow you to sleep peacefully.

These thoughts feed your worry.  Worry creates anxiety.  Worry is being fearful that nobody is in control, and you take on the role.  Worry does not see anybody handling the situation or relationship in the future not even God.  This worry heightens your anxiety and you begin to put feelings and emotions into future events that you have not yet experienced.  They are just events on a calendar without emotions attached, but when you take today’s feelings and emotions and put them into the future, you create fear and worry.  You take away peace from the present, too.  You never rest your mind which prevents your body from completely resting.

Rest.  We associate rest with inactivity, being lazy, not accomplishing anything.  It is a luxury we cannot claim.  Rest is impossible you say with your demands, schedule, and responsibilities.  I am coming to realize rest is so much more.  Rest is a freedom.  Rest is silence for a period of time.  Rest is not inactivity only.  Rest is purposeful.  Rest is needed.

I am learning to rest my thoughts which means I am resting from anxiety and worry.  It is choosing to rest in the present with my thoughts not focusing on the future.  I am resting in God’s presence and strength.  It is resting in the assurance God is in control.  God cares.  God loves me.  God has the future.  Resting in God’s power, presence, and trusting the future to God.  This frees me from worry when I live in the present.  I rest my hand in God’s hand.  I rest my spirit in the Holy Spirit or more clearly, the Holy Spirit rests or abides within me.

Rest is a peace and contentment that I do not have to be busy and exhausted and overwhelmed and feel guilty about all that I think I should be doing.  Rest is beginning each day with a blank slate and listening to God’s plan and guidance, “What do you, God, have for me today?”  The world values busy, exhausted, overworked achievers.  We see value in accomplishing tasks.  Yes, having purpose and completing tasks gives us meaning.  Jesus talked about going away to rest and resting in God’s presence through prayer. Jesus saw that meaning and purpose came from God not from the world.

Resting is slowing down our thoughts of negativity and the fear of not doing enough and defining ourselves by our work. God loves us not for what we do but because we are His children.  God wants us to spend time resting in His Presence and enjoying His company.  It is finding joy just being with God.

Yes, we all have tasks we have to do because we live in this world and have other people dependent on us.  But you can rest your thoughts in Jesus and focus on today.  It is not worrying about what could happen in the future.  Rest in the present.  Find peace in the moment.

Cacophony of Life

“Let me hear what God the Lord will speak, for he will speak peace to his people, to his faithful, to those who turn to him in their hearts.”   Psalm 85:8

As Spring approaches, I am beginning to hear the sweet songs of the morning birds on my run.  As I was thanking God for these beautiful sounds, my prayer was interrupted by the squawk of a crow, the honk of the geese, the siren from the firetruck and then the squeal of tires.  It was quite a cacophony as the sun was rising.

A cacophony is a discordant mixture of sounds.  Some of these sounds are unharmonious and disagreeable while others sound like just a lot of loud racket. Still other sounds blend into the morning menagerie as the earth awakens to a new day.

So what is the cacophony in your own head?  I believe we each have a lot of sounds, voices, words that go around in our head that disagree and do not make sense.  Thoughts jump in and we wonder where they came from.  When we attempt to make a decision, it seems like conflicting views battle inside our head preventing us from make a choice.

Then we step out into the world and the cacophony is even stronger.  The mixture of voices and opinions bombard us on media and even in the conversations with friends and strangers.  It seems people are very willing to express their view on any subject even if they have no knowledge.

As we live into our different life, we recognize some days the thoughts and voices in our head are conflicting and full of anxiety, worry, and fear, but we also include our prayers and Scripture into this mixture.  We worry about our future and if we are making the right decisions.  It feels so overwhelming with the weight of the load on our shoulders.  But we began the day trusting God and confident that we can do this and God is with us.  Then we step into life and doubt and fear and worry take over.

Sometimes we plan our day, week, and life and expect God to bless it and follow our plan.  Other times we just go on our own strength thinking we need to do more and prove ourselves to God.  We need to show God we are worthy of His presence and blessing.  Other times we just go alone not even considering or thinking about God.  The sounds of our life are jumbled with no distinctive peaceful melody.

Why does life feel like a cacophony?  So confusing without contentment and peace.  I believe we attempt to use only our strength to live, and we barely survive under the heavy load.  We are easily overwhelmed and exhausted relying only on our own strength and power.

Surrender is the key to release all these voices and sounds and find the peaceful melody of life God intended for us to experience.  Surrender to God every part of you.  Sit with Jesus and hold his hand.  Allow the Holy Spirit to speak to your heart.  Listen to the voice of the Spirit not the cacophony within your head and the world.  How do you listen?  First, just sit still, be quiet, and pray without words.  Just sigh and reach out your hand and take the hand of God.  See each day as a clean slate for God to fill not you.  As we live in the present moment with God, our focus is on God not our worries and fears.  Keep pulling yourself back to the present moment and take the hand of Jesus.  Listen to the peaceful melody of the Spirit within your soul.  Allow the Holy Spirit to fill you with strength and courage and peace.

Turbulences of Life

“But we rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not disappoint us.”  Romans 5:3-5

On a recent long airplane flight, we encountered turbulence.  The pilot came on the speaker and asked everyone to stay seated with seat belts fastened including all the flight attendants.  A few minutes later, the pilot spoke again.  He had checked with pilots in a two-hundred-mile radius, and they were all encountering the same turbulence.  So there was no flying around or out of this intense air stream.  He said, “Just hold on and we will get through this.”

It was the worst turbulence I had ever experienced.  The plane rattled, dropped, jumped, shuddered, and rocked back and forth.  It sounded like the plane was being torn apart.  Everyone on the plane was quiet until a gust of wind hit and we all jumped and you heard, “Oh, no.”  There was nothing anybody could do but stay seated, hold on and pray.  And that is what we did for almost two hours.  It was intense during those two long hours.  We were strangers on a plane who became bonded together out of fear.  We talked each other through it and gave each other support just being present together.

Turbulence is a time of unsteady movement, roughness, turmoil, unrest, confusion, troubles, and disturbances.  It is when there is no calmness or peace.  Turbulence happens in life not just on airplanes.  You have each experienced troubled times when you had no control and did not know if you would survive.  Every part of your being was rattled, and all you could do was cry out in the darkness hoping God was listening and just be in the intensity of the turmoil.  Some of you are still in the midst of this disturbance.  You will need to just hold on and ride it out trusting God is beside you even if you do not feel His presence.  God may not take you out of this storm, but He will be with you through it.

Some of you have made it through the current turbulence and feel like you are on some solid ground.  When the plane landed, I was so thankful to be on the ground.  My body was still feeling the tension of the flight, but I survived and I thanked God for His protection.  I was glad it was over.  You have survived.  You were not sure for awhile because you were consumed by the turmoil of life.  You persevered.  You survived.  You prayed and cried out to God during the storm trusting and hoping He was really with you.

Turbulence is not something you can plan for or even prevent.  I did not expect it on our flight.  I knew the pilot was trained how to fly the plane through it.  I had to trust his expertise, but I also knew the pilot had no control over the power of nature.  You have no control when the troubles will hit you, but we live in a broken world so they are inevitable.

You may not know what to do in the troubles of life, but God does.  We just need to trust Him even when we cannot see our way through the confusion, hurt, and troubles of the present.  Trust the Pilot of your life – Jesus.  Even if you plan for the unrest and troubles of life, you cannot change it or prevent it from happening.  You will just spend your life in high anxiety and worry.  You will not live and take risks out of fear of something bad happening.  Turbulence is always a risk when you fly, but it does not always happen.  Some flights are very smooth.  It was a smooth and easy flight on the way home.  Turbulence will happen in life.  You cannot control it or stop it.  So the question is – how are you going to deal with it? 

My choice has been to hold God’s hand and trust Him in the present.  It is living in the moment more and releasing the future to God.  As troubles come, I am trying to learn from them, grow in them and develop who I am – my character – because of what I have experienced.  I have hope that the troubles will not last forever.  They have a purpose.  But most of all, I grow closer to Jesus as He holds my hand.

Angles to Angels

“Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith…”  Hebrews 12:2 NIV

While walking the beach, stones and coral covered the sand and continued to wash up on the shore with each ocean wave that pounded the shoreline.  Depending on the angle I looked at these rocks, I could see different designs in the stones.  Some looked like animal shapes, some letters of the alphabet, and some just a glob of volcanic lava melted together.  I found a couple of heart shaped stones and two shaped like angels.  We even found rocks to spell out O-H-I-O.

I noticed that some people never looked down at the stones and therefore missed the angle of imagining the shapes.  Some people just watched the ocean and looked for whales.  Others just looked down at the rocks and never noticed the whales coming up to the surface.  Some never saw the mountains or the clouds or the beautiful sky because their angle was the beach and the stones.  It depends where one’s focus is and the angle of one’s gaze what you see and experience.

If I stood on the beach and looked one direction, I saw the mountains.  If I turned and looked another direction, I only saw the ocean.  If I turned halfway again, I saw the grass and villas.  It depended on my angle what I saw. An angle is a particular way of considering or approaching an issue, situation or scene.  It gives us different perspectives as we change angles.  It depends upon where we place our focus and our point of view.

How we see life depends on our heart, our perspective, our basic beliefs, and what we are looking for in life.  What we have experienced in our lives influences our perspective.  Each of us have a different angle in which we view life and interpret its meaning.

What are you searching for in life today?  It can be the search for the perfect gift, the most beautiful painting, the outfit that flatters, the food that tastes delicious, but none of these material possessions tend to satisfy for very long.  They do not bring a lasting peace and contentment to our hearts.  The pursuit of what is missing and what seems so allusive continues.  We may long for what we lost and wish we still had in life.

We may focus on the unfairness of life, the hurts, the losses, the brokenness and only see the pain and unfairness that life has offered us.  Our hearts may hurt and we view everything through this pain.  We cannot change the past nor what has happened, but it does not need to define who we are.  The past will always be a part of us, and it continues to influence us and be the reason we can learn and grow and change.  If our angle is only on the past and the hurt and pain, everything in life will feel empty and heavy and overwhelming because the past cannot be changed.  We will stay stuck in this perspective that life will always cause hurt and pain.

Just like the beach, I need to look at all the angles to see everything around me and realize life is filled with many different views and adventures.  I have to shift my focus and see the good that can come even out of the hurt and pain.  I need to look at all the angles in life.  Each angle has beauty.  It is incorporating all the angles into life to experience the depth and beauty and also the challenges.  All the angles enhance life and define us more completely.

I have a friend that always spells “angel” like “angle.”  So in pondering the angles of life, I realize if we would see the angles more like angels – messengers of God, the angles would be seen through God’s message.  That is, if we looked at every situation and realized God was giving us a message, we would be much more aware of God’s presence each moment.  We would see God in all the angles of life and look for the meaning and purpose of the angle.  Life would become seeking to find God in all the moments of life – in all the angles!

Restore My Soul

“He restores my soul.” Psalm 23:3

As I sit in paradise listening to the birds, the ocean waves, and feel the warm breeze, the cares of daily life vanish from my thoughts. Why does it take getting away to slow down our thoughts? I believe it is because we do not rest daily in God`s presence. We attempt to control and fix and figure things out on our own.

The words I heard on my morning run on the beach was “I restore your soul.” Nothing in this world restores us. We are refreshed by a vacation. Renewed in worship. Relaxed with a massage or nap.

To restore is to bring back, to return to a former condition, to repair. God created us in His image and to live in His constant presence. God rejoices and sings over us and delights in us. Sin separated us from our Creator and God wants to restore us to our original relationship with Him.

But when life is hard and the waves of life beat hard against the shoreline of our lives, we wonder where God is and sometimes become angry with what life has dealt us. We attempt to go alone and fix our own lives. We find other things to be the center of life - other people, work, sports, our home, but not God. We do not leave God totally out, but we do not trust Him to take care of our every need. We believe but we are not restored.

Restore is to admit that we cannot figure out how to find peace and contentment in this broken world by ourselves. It is allowing God to have control of every aspect of our lives, and be restored to how God originally created us to be which is in His constant presence. It is being forgiven through His grace and living as loved and forgiven children.

To be restored is living in the light of Jesus not the darkness of this world. It is focusing on the present and living in each moment. It is seeing the relationship with Jesus as most important not the tasks of life. It is living in the gift of the moment not worrying about the future and what could happen. It is being thankful for the past experiences and relationships. Our souls are restored in breathing in the Spirit of God and allowing His breath to fill you with His peace, presence, power, and stillness. Our souls are restored through the Holy Spirit that dwells within you.

Release The Darkness

“In the past you were full of darkness, but now you are full of light in the Lord.  So live like children who belong to the light.”  Ephesians 5:8

She had accepted that her husband was now in Heaven.  She had released him to live with God.  That chapter of her life was complete.  The memories and the influence remained in her heart and the love continued.  So why was there still a feeling of darkness around her?

Darkness is associated with the unknown, with fear, with evil, with being unable to find one’s way.  It is the absence of light.  Darkness is also a way to express our feelings of gloom and despair.  Spiritually, darkness expresses our separation from God and our hopelessness.

The darkness of loss is filled with our feelings of being lonely, lost, and not knowing how to find ourselves and the light of this different life.  When the darkness of grief begins to lighten and the intensity is not so overwhelming, we begin to look at who are we now?  That is when the darkness of our souls and self seems to invade the progress toward light and life. 

The darkness is present because we may never have known who we really were in any relationship.  We became what the situation needed or what others expected.  When we look deep inside ourselves, all we see is darkness because we have not defined ourselves in the light of Jesus yet.  Oh, others may see us as light and joy, but inwardly we are lost and dark and so unsure of how to maneuver on the path toward light and life.

Anxiety, worry, depression, guilt, shame, sin, and so much more fuel the darkness and the belief that this is who we really are, and we will remain in this sadness and darkness forever.  Yes, these feelings are real and intense and describe where we have been and how we have felt.  But when we focus only on the darkness of our souls, we miss the light.  We cannot deny this part of life, but it is not all there is to life.

We need to change our focus.  Darkness is present in this world.  It always will be, but there is also light which reflects hope, joy, peace, life, different, change.  It is all there.  Yes, it is hard.  Yes, we will still miss our loved one,  Yes, we will need to keep choosing each day to turn toward the light and be intentional in choosing to live.  We need to let go of the familiar and the comfort of the darkness.  We do not want to be comfortable in the darkness, but it is so familiar but so lonely and empty.  Release trying to live in the past – that is where the darkness dwells.  Release to be set free from the confinement of the pain and hurt.  It will consume if you let it.  It will always be waiting for you in the darkness.

Release is not forgetting.  It is allowing life to continue on a different path.  It is choosing to forgive, to heal, to live despite the loss and pain and change.  It is choosing not to live in the disappointments of life.  I have been learning to choose to follow the light and live in the present.  To truly experience life and find the good.  I have felt the hurt and disenchantments of life but have not allowed them to pull me so deep into the darkness that I could not see the light of Jesus reach out to me.

It is living as children who belong to the light.  You may not feel the joy and peace but you are choosing to begin to walk toward the peace and joy that Jesus gives.  It is opening yourself to the possibility of being filled with Jesus who not only brings hope and light but also lightens your burdens and load.  He offers to carry you through and hold your hand into the light of life each day.

Safe Place

“Those who go to God Most High for safety will be protected by the Almighty.  I will say to the Lord, “You are my place of safety and protection.  You are my God and I trust you.” Psalm 91:1-2

Her safe place was her home, so she thought.  When she needed to retreat because of a conflict and feeling hurt, she hurried home, but it did not feel safe anymore.  Her husband had died, and she realized it was not her home but her husband who made her feel safe and secure.

That feeling of being safe and secure is allusive in our world today with mass shootings, storms, and conflicts.  We lock our doors.  We have locked safes in our homes for our valuables.  We lock our cars, our offices, and our bikes.  We have codes and passwords on our accounts and computers.  We have security systems and virus protections.  We desire to feel safe and secure with our finances, our possessions, and our families.  We want to feel emotionally secure, too, but we may feel emotionally attacked and do not want to risk getting hurt again. 

I know when my dog, Annie feels safe and secure.  She lays down and rolls over to have her belly rubbed and soon falls asleep.  As long as she is being touched, she feels secure.  She trusts me that I will protect her from hurt and harm.  For several years, Annie was my security.  She was with me constantly after my husband died.  I relied on her for companionship but also to be with me when I felt alone.  What does it mean to feel safe and secure?  It is to be protected from danger.  To be secure means to be attached to something firmly.  To be fastened to, connected, anchored.  My dog is attached to me, and I am to her.

As you experience life and take steps to live into the life you now have, you desire a safe place to share your feelings, emotions, and struggles that is free from judgment and expectations.  Your spouse may have been that safe person with whom you vented and shared your inner most expressions.  You may have a trusted friend or counselor whom you share the inner part of yourself that is hidden from others.

As a counselor, I have tried to create a safe place without judgment to process feelings, emotions, and the struggles of life.  It is the Holy Spirit through me that discerns, listens, and challenges.  People unintentionally though hurt others.  We misunderstand and have expectations that are not met.  We disappoint each other and break trust.  Our safety net and security is destroyed.  We feel alone and vulnerable without protection as we attempt to live into this new and different life.

When everything on the outside feels unsafe and I feel no protection or security around me, I turn inward and anchor myself in the One who is always there – Jesus.  My safe place is not found in any earthly relationship or place.  It is only in God.  My safe place is in my heart where Jesus’ Spirit dwells.  It has taken time for me to get to this place on the journey of life.  But loss and disappointments have made me aware that the connection that never changes is Jesus.  When life becomes overwhelming and people disappoint, I have had to find peace and protection in Jesus.  I turn to the only safe place which is my own heart.  I just sit with Jesus and He holds my hand.  I do not have to do anything but just be in His presence.  I begin to release the outward pressures to perform and achieve and control because none of that feels safe anymore.  Security is found in being in God’s presence and living in the moment with Him.  It is letting go and breathing in the peace and presence of God.  Try it!

The Conundrum of Life

“And when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left, your ears shall hear a word behind you saying, “This is the way; walk in it.”                             Isaiah 30:21 (RSV)

Recently I talked with a widow who wondered when she would know who she is in this different life.  She wanted to live this life, but she had no idea who she was and how to figure out life.  She was in a conundrum.

A conundrum is a confusing and difficult problem or question.  It leaves a person in a quandary or dilemma not knowing what to do in a situation or how to answer the puzzle.  It feels like you do not know what choice or decision to make.  We have all experienced this at some time in our lives.  We are confused about what to do.  We do not know the right way to go.  We feel the weight of making a decision. 

We desire something different, but we get into a rut in our daily lives.  It can be in our work, our marriage, our family relationships, or our daily routine.  We tell ourselves that we need to change, but the daily rut becomes too familiar and comfortable.  It is a struggle.  How do we choose to take steps out of this rut?  If we do, then what?  It is unfamiliar, and we say to ourselves, “What if I mess up and it does not work out?”  We are afraid of failure so we do not try, or we know we will not be good enough so we do nothing.

These thoughts and feelings are real and are defeating.  They keep us from even starting on a new path.  The conundrum of life bases everything on our own strength, determination, and abilities.  When we focus on our failures of the past – our track record – we are already defeated.  We have tried and messed up on other attempts so why will this time be different? So we go back to our rut thinking it is an okay routine.

Routine can be good if it is healthy.  I have a morning routine.  I get up around the same time, do my morning stretches, walk my dog, Annie, then run three and a half miles, lift my weights, drink my protein shake, and spend time with God in my morning devotions.  I am caring for my body, God’s temple, during this routine.  I pray as I run releasing my emotions and feelings, and my devotional time brings hope to my mind and spirit.  I humbly share this with you to affirm routines can be healthy.  A rut is not healthy – it is a place where you are stuck.  A rut is a habit or pattern that has become dull and unproductive.  It feels like a dead end.

So how do you get out of your rut, know what direction to go and figure out who you are now?  How do you answer the conundrum of your life?  Good question.  I cannot give a specific answer for your life, but I know who can. The Holy Spirit.  The Holy Spirit is the Spirit of Jesus that lives within you when you receive Jesus as your Lord and Savior.  The Holy Spirit is our Helper, Counselor, Guide, and Advocate.  The Spirit’s purpose is to give to you power and to energize you.  The Spirit comes beside you to teach and guide you.  The Spirit carries the burdens of life you were not intended to carry. 

Some of the reason for our ruts is that we still see ourselves as the one who messed up and does not deserve another chance and a good life with meaning and purpose.  Our worry and anxiety keep us stuck and in a quandary.  We worry about what could happen and fear the future.  We cannot calm our inner fears and worries.  This weakens us, makes us feel overwhelmed, tense and afraid to change and find out who we really are now.  We define ourselves based on our anxiety, fear, worry, and “stuckness.”

The answer is the calming peace of the Holy Spirit.  The Spirit lives in our hearts.  We need to release the power of the Spirit.  The Spirit can bring calmness and peace within us.  Our circumstances may not change, but our outlook and attitude will because it is the Spirit working through us not our own weariness.  The Spirit is gentle and sweet.  This reminds me of the song – “Sweet, Sweet Spirit” –

“There’s a sweet, sweet Spirit in this place

And I know that it’s the Spirit of the Lord.” 

When we do not know who we are or which direction to go, consult the Spirit.  It is like a maternal tenderness like my mom.  This past week would have been my mom’s birthday.  I saved the letters she wrote to me while I was in college and serving my first churches before we started calling each day.  In these letters are words of tenderness and support, guidance, and direction along with the family news.  There was a sweet Spirit in my mom. 

The Holy Spirit will soothe our anxious thoughts and give us peace.  The Spirit also gives us power, guidance, and reminds us we are chosen and loved.  When you have a conundrum in life and do not know what to do, turn to the Holy Spirit that is within you.  First worship and then listen and then follow.

"Get Used To Different"

“Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, “If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all.”   Mark 9:35 NIV

I have been watching on TV the series of “The Chosen” which brings alive the Gospels and how Jesus chose his twelve disciples and lived his ministry here on earth.  In one of the episodes, Peter says, “that was different.”  Jesus responds, “Get used to different.”

We tend to develop routines which are good to keep us structured and organized.  We frequent the same stores and restaurants though sometimes venturing out to try something a friend recommends.  We wear the same clothes because they feel comfortable.  Over the past years of the COVID pandemic, some have kept to their small family group and stayed more at home.  It has become familiar and comfortable.

But then something happens that shakes our familiar, our routine, our security, our daily normal life.  And life becomes different.  We change.  Life changes.  We are different in how we view the world and cannot grasp how and why life was turned upside down.  Life was good, and now we feel uncertain and question everything.  Life is different and we do not want it to be and desire how life used to be.

So how do we get used to the different because the old life is not coming back?  For me, I had to take the layers off of life and find the core of myself and my anchor.  Everything around me looked and felt different even though others seemed not to recognize it.  How I viewed life, relationships, and priorities became different because of loss.  It felt like my relationship with God was different, too, and it was.  I recognized my dependency was in God alone, and I grew closer to Him.  I was not strong enough to journey alone nor was I made to go alone.  My anchor, my firm foundation was in God who never changes.  When I focused on God, my Father, who loves me and is my safety and security, I began to live in this different life.  I did not embrace it at first but acknowledged this is what I now have.  I am embracing this different life now.

Life will never stay the same because we were designed to change and grow. You do not look or act like you did twenty years ago.  You grow, mature, and change, so why would not your life and relationships change and be different?

This journey of life with Jesus requires us to embrace being different than the world.  In the series, “The Chosen,” Jesus chooses his disciples for their uniqueness and embraces their differences.  Jesus affirms their abilities and assures them they will understand the purpose and mission as they live close to Him.

Your life is different than you expected and planned.  You cannot change the loss and the pain and hurt that comes from it.  It has made you who you are not be choice but because of the events of your life.

I have been on the search for who I am in this different life.  I am getting used to different and embracing it.  I even look for ways to be different and to incorporate different things into my life.  Instead of fighting against the different and trying to maintain the familiar and comfortable, I desire to find the different.  In this quest, the things the world and others say are what I should be doing or worrying about, I am releasing to God.  I am depending more on God not on pleasing others or living in the expectations of others.  It is saying “no” to whatever distracts me from living closer to Jesus.  It is not worrying and being anxious about future events that are out of my control.  It is being present in the moment with Jesus, and it is relying on His Spirit to give me strength, words, direction, and peace.

Life is going to be different.  You can struggle against it trying to maintain an old normal, familiar routine that will never satisfy because there is always an empty space because of loss.  Or you can get used to different and embrace Jesus who walks with you in this different.  When you turn to Jesus, you will find yourself living in this different life.

Listening With The Soul

“For God alone my soul waits in silence, for my hope is from him.  He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress, I shall not be shaken.”  Psalm 62:5-6

I visited a dear couple that were in the church I first served in ministry.  She is currently in a memory care facility, and he visits her twice a day.  The second time, he brings her cookies for her afternoon snack and feeds them to her.  Her eyes were closed as we talked, and he shared stories of their sixty-six years of marriage.  Dementia has taken her voice and body but not her soul.  When the caregivers moved her into her wheelchair, she opened her eyes and looked deep into my eyes.  I could see she was still in her body, and I looked deep into her soul.  She was listening with her soul.

As he shared with me over lunch, I listened to my friend’s heart and soul – a soul that was lonely and hurting for the one he loved.  I listen to his tears, his commitment, and his abiding love for his wife.  He treasured the moments when she looked at him.  The moments she returned a hand squeeze.  The moments where their souls remained connected.

Disease or death may take the body, but love maintains the soul and love never ends.  The soul is what makes a person alive.  It is the essence of the person.  We grieve the loss of touch, presence, and companionship.  Tears express the words of love.  I listened to the sweetness of my friend’s tears as he talked of their life together and their enduring love.  I hugged my friend who was like a dad to me when I began my ministry.  I felt his sorrow, but I also experienced the joy of a life well lived and shared together.  He loved when life was tough and that is commitment.

As I reflected on my visit with my dear friends, a song came into my heart – “Turn Your Eyes upon Jesus.”  Here is the first verse and chorus –

O soul are you weary and troubled

No light in the darkness you see

There’s light for a look at the Savior

And life more abundant and free 

Turn your eyes upon Jesus

Look full in his wonderful face

And the things of earth will grow strangely dim

In the light of his glory and grace 

When we listen to the world, the news, social media, negative people and our own sadness, our souls are weary and troubled. The darkness is consuming.  Our souls are exhausted from attempting to do everything that is expected and even necessary.  When the focus is on all the work and tasks of life the burden is intense.  We are focusing on the world, the hurt, the sadness, the overwhelming work, and it feels like we have to do it all alone.  Life feels impossible.

That is when we need to turn to Jesus.  Look full into the face of Jesus.  What we thought was insurmountable, the light of Jesus makes everything pale in comparison.  When my friend’s wife looked full into his face, the disease of dementia was gone for a moment and all that was present was love.

When we turn our eyes to Jesus our souls find peace in His presence.  We need to live more in these moments.  Keep turning toward Jesus.  When the world and the sorrow of life overwhelm, turn to Jesus.  When it seems impossible to live in this different life, turn to Jesus.  When you are searching for hope and purpose, turn first to Jesus.  “Look full in his wonderful face.  And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of his glory and grace.”

Essence of Me

“God decided to let his people know this rich and glorious secret which he has for all people.  This secret is Christ himself who is in you.  He is our only hope for glory.”   Colossians 1:27 NCV

Recently I was looking through some old pictures and scrapbooks.  Yes, they are filled with memories of the past, but this time I looked at myself in those pictures.  Who was I in each picture?  Yes, physically I have matured and changed, but the essence of me is still the same.  Who was I in relationship with family and friends in those photos?  I looked into my eyes and tried to remember me.

Essence is the nature and quality of something.  It is our soul or spirit, the center of who we are.  We mature and grow over the years and life situations affect us and change our outlook and perspective on life, but the core of who we are was created by God.  I believe we do not fully develop this inner being until we are seasoned by life, heartaches, challenges, and spiritual growth.  It takes time.

As we walk through the journey of grief and loss, one of the most difficult aspects is figuring out who we are now.  No matter the loss, we have been changed because of it.  How we define ourselves and how we interact with others feels unsettled and no longer normal or comfortable.  The essence has been affected by the pain and emptiness of life, and we do not recognize who we are.

You may have lost yourself years ago as you became a people pleaser.  You started out caring for others and their needs, but your worth got wrapped up in how others viewed you.  You avoided conflict to please others then developed the need to be validated by them.  But you lost yourself, the essence of you, and became what others wanted you to be.  Your worth was seen in the acceptance of others at the expense of yourself.  You are exhausted because you have not been who you were created to be.  Allowing others not God to define you leaves you empty and weary.

In this new year, let’s try a different path.  God is the one who created you.  You are His child.  God sees you as loved, forgiven, special, having worth and value because we are His children.  You are enough just being you.  The Spirit of Jesus, the Holy Spirit, dwells within you.  That is the secret.

Some of you may feel you lost your value, worth and purpose when your loved one died.  You feel lost.  You are more than the relationship.  It helped to add to the quality of your life and build on your foundation of life.  The essence of who you are is still in you.  You take yourself – who you are - with you throughout all of life.  You have been lost, forgotten, loved, misunderstood, valued, challenged, not good enough, trusted and a mix of so much more.

As you walk into this new year, take who you are with you, not who others expect or who you think others want you to be.  Be bold.  Be you.  Don’t know who you are now?  The first step into finding who you are is to ground yourself into the essence – the natural quality – of yourself.  This is found in God’s love and grace which is given to you through the Holy Spirit.  The Spirit does all the work.  We just surrender to his working in our soul.  You are loved by God who created you.  Your value and worth is in God’s love not how other people view you.

Everywhere you go, you take yourself with you.  Start enjoying your own company.  Start taking opportunities to live in the moments in front of you.  Start accepting yourself for who you are.   Give yourself permission to step into life for moments at a time.  Forgive yourself.  Love who you are now and who you are becoming.  You cannot change the past. It has helped to define you.  You get a choice of who you are now in the present and future.  Let go of pleasing others and be free of the exhaustion it has created.  Choose to step into the essence of who you are. 

Walking Into

“For you have delivered me from death and my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before God in the light of life.”    Psalm 56:13

Through the snow and cold, I continued to walk my dog every day.  I bundled up as much as I could and braved the wind, snow, and bitter cold. The weather did not bother my dog, Annie at all.  It was when I turned into the direction of the wind, that the sharp wind took my breath away for a moment and my dog’s ears looked like she was flying.  It was difficult to keep walking into the wind, but I knew I would turn around soon and be able to push through the walk each day.  Now the weather has warmed up and the snow and ice are melting, and it is easier to walk without the layers of clothing.  When the sun comes out, it feels warm and refreshing to take our walks.

Life is like my walks.  As the journey of grief and change begins, the bitter cold of the pain and sadness is felt.  It feels like we are trudging into the wind of life.  Nothing is easy, and it feels so cold, empty, and alone.  The weight of grief is like the layers of clothing, and it is so difficult to drag oneself through each moment.  The steps are heavy, and the exhaustion is felt in the harsh conditions of grief.  It feels like this will never end and there is no relief in sight.

Some of you are walking right into the strong winds of pain, sorrow, and loss.  It is so fresh and hits you in the face each morning you awake.  You feel overwhelmed and exhausted and just want to give up.  Keep trudging.  You are not alone.  It feels like you are barely moving and all alone.  God is holding your hand and when you fall, and you will, God will be right beside you to pick you up and even carry you.  You will never walk alone.

Some of you have been walking through the grief and while you will never forget, you do not want to keep trudging in the pain.  It is okay to go through it and walk into life.  You can turn in a different direction and focus on being grateful and thankful for the life you had and the love that remains a part of who you are.  You know you cannot live in the past and change what has happened.  You desire to walk into this different life and not carry the heavy weight of the past.

As we reflect on this past year, I am reflecting on where we have journeyed in these blogs.  The challenge was to process through the feelings and the grief.  We recognized the commotion in our soul as we sort out feelings and this different life.  Taking the step of releasing our loved one to live in Heaven so we can live here on earth required us to trust even in our darkness.  In attempting to change our focus we have felt discombobulated as we traipse through the grief with a hope of a different life.  We have needed to just rest and be present in the moments.

Your desire is to live.  Life is so different.  It is the life you now have.  So how do you walk into life even when you do not know how?  I believe it is consistently trusting Jesus.  Jesus is with you.  God loves you.  You are not alone even when you feel alone.  Trust is an assured reliance.  It is confidence and dependence on God.  It is faith and hope and doubt and fear and love all mixed together.   It is taking a step in the darkness and having a hope of a hope that God’s light will be revealed.  It is walking into life not just going around in circles.  It is living in the present and in the moment. In this new year, walk into your life.  Be consistent in trusting Jesus to walk with you and walk you through. 

“So I will walk with the Lord in the land of the living.”   Psalm 11:9

Light Forward

“Before those people lived in darkness, but now they have seen a great light.  They lived in a dark land, but a light has shined on them.”   Isaiah 9:2

The season of Christmas is filled with lights – lights on the Christmas tree, outdoor lights of various colors and designs, light shows, candlelight, the candles of the Advent Wreath, and just the basic house lights.  Darkness comes earlier in the winter with less sunlight to gives us warmth and hope, so we turn on more lights in our homes.  Currently, I have the gas fireplace and the candles on the table lit to shine more light and warmth in the house.  The Christmas tree lights twinkle in the cold that surrounds it outside.  We need light.  Jesus comes into the world as the light of the world to shine in the darkness of our sin and sorrow.

The name Jesus means “Savior.”  Jesus came as “Emmanuel” meaning God with us.  Jesus came to bring light into the darkness of our world, our lives, and our hearts.  When I looked up the meaning of my own name, Elaine, it means light or shining light. My middle name – Janice – means God has been gracious or a gift from God.  The light of life is a gift from God.  I like the word “light” because it gives me hope.  Light gives guidance and direction.  Light reflects light.

For the past seven years, instead of making New Year’s Resolutions, I have chosen a word to be my guide for the year.  In these years, the words selected have been – Good Future, Change, Purpose, Courage, Hope, Surrender, and Different.  These words have guided me on the journey of grief and given me a future and a hope to live with courage in this different life.  Just as I have defined my name, these words have helped me to define the years.  They have kept me focused on how God wants me to grow closer in relationship to Him and to experience living in the present in God’s presence.

As I began to pray about my word for 2023, the word light kept appearing in Scriptures and in conversations with clients.  My Sunday morning group is called “Light In the Darkness.”  Darkness signifies sorrow and sadness and lack of hope.  We have experienced life in these terms feeling darkness is all around us and hope feels so unattainable.  We desire light and hope, but it seems impossible to find the switch to turn on the light to our life and soul.  Just as the moon reflects the light of the sun and does not have its own light, we reflect the light of Jesus.  We cannot produce light on our own.  Sometimes we try to fake it, but the emptiness inside only allows us to sustain it for a short time.   Our soul is empty and that is what sustains the light of Jesus in our lives.

So when we feel empty, exhausted and overwhelmed (which is most of us after Christmas), we need to be recharged just like a battery in a car.  We need to be hooked up to a charger so that our light will again shine.  The charger is Jesus himself.  He broke through from Heaven to come to earth to be like us so that we can become like Him.  Jesus is the light of the world.  He is the light of our souls. In order to be filled with His light, we need to be more intentional of being in the presence of Jesus daily and stopping to take God’s hand to walk us through each situation.

In this new year, I want to wait for God’s light to shine instead of rushing ahead in the darkness.  I want to look for God’s light in each day.  Today, as I walked my dog in the early morning, God shined His light in the gorgeous sunrise.  I paused to take in the light and to thank God for revealing Himself in the morning light.

I challenge each of you to go toward the light of God’s love and presence this coming year.  In those times of darkness, trust that God is still with you guiding you toward the light – have a hope of a hope.  As you see light and hope in moments, allow the light to fill you and re-charge you.  Remember, it takes time to charge a battery, so it will take time being in God’s light and presence to recharge the emptiness of your soul.  And when we begin to fill up with light, we can share that light with others on the journey.

Light Forward!

Transforming The Ordinary

“And she gave birth to her first born son and wrapped him in swaddling cloths and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn.”    Luke 2:7

This past week, I drove through the Fantasy of Lights in my hometown.  The ordinary park was transformed into a magical display of lights that created a fantasy world of wonder.  The spirit of Christmas was expressed by bringing light into the darkness and in the stories created by the sponsors of each display.  The ordinary, everyday places in the park took on a different meaning and purpose.  The red shelter house where my family usually gathers for family dinners was transformed into a gingerbread house.  The round shelter house became a carrousel ride with lights.  The outdoor theatre became the perfect barn for the nativity story.  The swimming pool was filled with lights instead of water.

Ordinary – no special or distinctive features, normal, common, regular, routine.  Life is mainly ordinary.  We develop a routine, and it feels comfortable and normal.  We like the predictable and that things are what they appear to be without any major surprises.  Life never stays this predictable as we know.  We have experienced the unimaginable in our lives.  Nothing feels normal in loss and grief.  Our ordinary and comfortable life is gone, and we feel all mixed up and lost.

Christmas may seem ordinary or least predictable with its many traditions.  This year I have been pondering the Christmas story through this ordinary lens.  It was normal for a baby to be born.  Birth happens in a barn all the time – usually the birth of animals.  I grew up on a farm and regularly witnessed the birth of lambs, calves, puppies, and kittens.  It was common and expected.  Shepherds coming to a barn was not out of the ordinary.  Seeing bright stars in the sky was natural. 

When we look at these normal parts of the Christmas story, we can relate in some way.  Jesus was born naturally like you and me.  Jesus came in an ordinary, humble way so all of us could connect to him.  Jesus was homeless for a period of time, so he did not have more physical possessions than any of us.  Some of the lowest of society, the shepherds, came to see him.  Jesus was born simply and humbly so that none of us would feel a disconnection with him or feel that he could not understand our life situation.

Then God broke through this ordinary.  God made everything different and transformed the ordinary into extraordinary.  Birth was natural but not from a virgin.  The birth of God himself was unfathomable.  The stable became a place of worship instead of just a place for animals.  God came near.  God humbled himself to become like us so that we could become like Him.  God transformed the ordinary.

God continues to make the ordinary different.  Your ordinary life changed because of loss, but God can take this different life and transform it.  God comes to be with us in this different life.  Jesus was born Emmanuel which means God with us.  Just like the stable was transformed into a place of worship, God can transform our broken hearts into a place of worship.  Mary and Joseph did not expect to have a baby yet nor have their baby to be born in a stable.  You did not expect your ordinary and normal life to change.  So when the unexpected happens, God shows up every time.  God does not make everything normal like it was but different and even extraordinary.

Allow God to come into your ordinary life and transform you.  Allow God to come into your different life and walk beside you.  Allow God to come this Christmas into your heart and give to you the gift of His Son who brings peace and comfort.

This Christmas week may be totally different for you this year.  You may feel like not doing the regular routine of the season.  Give yourself permission to change.  God promises to be with you and to take your different life and walk with you through it.  Christmas is God coming to us wherever we are, however we feel, and transforming our lives.  God is with you.

Returning Spirit

“Her spirit came back into her, and she stood up at once.  Then Jesus ordered that she be given something to eat.”  Luke 8:55

“It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas” were the words of a recent Christmas song on the radio.  What does Christmas look like?  Christmas lights.  Christmas trees.  Shopping.  Decorations.  Some may wish for snow and then it will look like Christmas.  I recently took a drive to look at Christmas lights in the surrounding neighborhoods.  Lots of Christmas lights of all colors, blow up Santas and snowmen, and many Nativity scenes.  The lights were shiny and bright, and for a moment it felt magical.  I will drive through several Christmas light displays in this next week, and in the moment the magic of the lights will bring joy and a “wow” will be spoken.  While all the decorations and lights are beautiful, it does not fill us with the feelings and spirit of Christmas that lasts.

I have heard from many people that they would prefer to skip Christmas this year. It does not feel like Christmas.  When I was in Key West recently, the Christmas decorations were beautiful, but the warm weather and sunshine confused me.  It did not feel like Christmas time.  For some of you, Christmas just heightens your reality of being alone.  Some of you, Christmas reminds you of the chaos of your life and family.  You see the Hallmark Christmas families and your family is so dysfunctional.  You feel alone even when you are surrounded by family.  The emptiness and sadness of your soul spills over into the Christmas season.  It feels like the spirit of Christmas and your own spirit has disappeared, and you feel like an empty shell trying to find something that will fill you with joy and peace.

Spirit – the non-physical part of a person in which the emotions and character or essence reside.  The spirit is the part that never dies.  In Luke 8, a twelve-year-old girl has died, and Jesus brings her back to life.  Her spirit came back to her body.  The spirit had left but did not die with her physical body.  I believe when a person dies, their spirit/soul goes to Heaven and the essence of the person remains in the hearts of those they have loved and influenced.

So when it comes to Christmas, the essence of Jesus, his spirit, is within each of us who believe in him.  Jesus is not only with us but is in us.  His spirit, the Holy Spirit, dwells within each person who has received Christ as their Lord and Savior.

In this journey of life and grief, you may feel like your spirit has died.  You may not feel like celebrating Christmas.  That is, you may not feel like doing all the traditions – the decorating, baking, parties, trees, lights, gifts, and that is OK.  Those are outward expressions of the season, not the essence of Christmas.  It may feel like your spirit has no desire to experience what you have done in the past.  The essence of who you were feels lost.  You are different.  Your priorities and what you like or enjoy are different.

The feeling of Christmas is still in you because Jesus is in you, and Christmas is the Spirit of Jesus.  He will return your spirit when you focus on him not your loss or the outward expression of the season around you.  Take the time to step away from the expectations and lists and allow Jesus to return the essence of you.  It may feel different because you are different.  Life is different, but Jesus is the same.  He still comes each Christmas to those who are open to receiving His Spirit of love and peace.

Making The Connection

“Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign:  The virgin will give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel.”   Isaiah 7:14

On a recent flight home from Key West, the plane was delayed at take off for almost an hour.  I knew I would have an extra hour lay over in Charlotte and had planned a leisurely dinner before the last flight of the trip.  Now dinner was cancelled, and I wondered if I could make the connecting flight.  The plane landed in Charlotte, and we had fifteen minutes to run through the airport to the next concourse and get to the gate of our connecting flight.  I mean literally run just like in the movies.  Out of breath we arrived at the gate and were the last people on the flight before the plane doors closed behind us.  We made the connection, and I thanked God for His blessings!

To be connected.  To have a connection.  It is a bond to be linked together, an interdependence.  While on my trip, I was connected to my friend, my cousins.  I felt connected to God in the beauty of the sunsets, the sunshine, the blue sky, and the crystal-clear water.  I felt a bond with those I traveled with because of our mutual interests and experiences we shared.  I also felt a disconnect with those around me who were experiencing things I did not desire.  I was able to define for me what I liked and wanted in my adventures and what I did not need.

Connection is a way to describe relationships.  We connect with others based on common experiences, values, beliefs, and desires and therefore, form deeper relationships within these connections especially when the connections are emotional and spiritual.  A bond forms and we feel more whole and complete because of these connections.  When loss occurs within these connections, we feel an emptiness and turmoil in life.  We are disconnected with our security, our sense of self, our purpose and meaning, and even with other people.

To be disconnected is not always negative.  We live in a society that is constantly connected to social media, phones, TV, electronics, noise, busyness.  While in Key West, I disconnected most of the day to electronics and just enjoyed the now.  I also disconnected to the social life of the town.  I felt this the most while worshipping on Sunday morning and evening near the bustle of activities on main street.

Sometimes we need to disconnect from the expectation of society and others.  Christmas is a time to disconnect from what society has created the season to be and re-connect to Jesus who is the real reason for the season.  We can become consumed by attempting to create the perfect Hallmark Christmas and to please everyone around us.  We may try to re-create the past experiences and connect to the traditions before loss, but they will be different and empty.  It is disconnecting to those expectations and connecting to this different life.

This Christmas make the connection to Jesus.  Your heart will feel the loss and emptiness of life and you will feel like you just want to skip the season of Christmas.  It is OK not to do all the activities and decorating, but do not skip the coming of Jesus.  God is with you.  God comes to you in this season and desires to connect you to His love and comfort.  You may need to run sometimes to make the connection and other times just to rest in His presence.  Quiet your soul, disconnect from the noise of the world, and rest in the presence of Jesus this Christmas.

Grateful Even Though

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”   I Thessalonians 5:18

My mom was a positive and grateful person.  She saw the good in people and the blessings of life.  My foundation was built on being thankful to God for the gift of life and faith.  I was firmly anchored in Jesus through the influence and guidance of my mom and my grandma. As I matured, I knew God was real, God loved me even when I messed up and took steps in the wrong direction, and God’s forgiveness was given freely.  I have always been thankful for having a roof over my head and food in my stomach.  I do not take these basics of life for granted but give thanks daily for God’s loving presence and provision. 

I am thankful for family and the continued connection and love we share.  We love and support each other and have the foundation of faith and thankfulness.  I am thankful for the people God has placed on my path of life, and how God has given me opportunities to walk the journey of joy and sorrow with them.  Even though I do not daily interact with these special people, the legacy and love has continued in my life. 

Because of this foundation, when loss and troubles have come into my life, my attitude and outlook while experiencing the sadness, has always been gratefulness.  I was thankful for the experience and what I learned, thankful for the gift of the relationships, the love, the adventure, and the opportunity to live with and through the relationship.  That does not mean I did not feel the pain and hurt, I just knew God was always there and I was anchored – securely attached – to His love and constant presence.

Yes, it is difficult to give thanks in all circumstances.  We are not thankful for the loss of a person, but thankful that they lived and have been a part of our life.  Because of their life, we are who we are and have learned, grown and experienced love.  Even though you have experienced loss and hurt and pain, being grateful can still be a part of your life. Even though your heart has been broken, you can give thanks that you have loved and been loved.  Even though loneliness and emptiness seem to creep into the darkness of the evening, you can be thankful for the memories and the possibilities of this different life.

In this week of Thanksgiving, anchor yourself in your blessings, not your losses.  Being thankful and grateful has more to do with your attitude than your circumstances.  It is how you look at life.  Even though my mom and grandma are living now in Heaven, I give thanks for their continued guidance as I remember and appreciate their life and legacy.

Even though your life may not be what you had hoped or planned, you can be grateful you have life.  There is always something to be thankful for because you have breath and life and hope and Jesus.  When we focus on the past and what could have been and what we have done wrong or the wrong done to us, we miss the blessings in front of us.  When we focus on the future and the worry and anxiety it brings, we forget the present.  God is only with us in the present.  Just today. That is why the future brings such worry and anxiety because we do not see God in it.  Be thankful for today.  This moment.  Look around you and be grateful.  Even though it is not what you planned or hoped for; it is what you currently have so find the blessings in this moment.  You can be sad and still give thanks.

Bench Resting

“You know when I sit down and when I get up.  You know my thoughts before I think them.”  Psalm 139:2

As I looked around my condo, I realized I have several benches – six to be exact.  I like benches.  They seem so simple and inviting to just sit.  They are usually wood so they can accent a room and go with the décor.  Benches are easy to move.  Plus, you can sit close to someone or farther away.  It is your choice.  They are easy to sit on, and you can slide across them.  Benches provide a place to rest and are found in malls, along the street, and especially in parks.  They are a place to rest but not stay and get comfortable.

I walked recently at a park and on the bench part way on the trail sat two older gentlemen leaning on their canes just chatting.  They commented on their need to catch their breath before finishing their walk.  At my hometown county fair, benches are everywhere with most of them having a name plate – given in honor or memory of someone special.  When my mom was living and went to the fair, she always sat on a bench near one of the main buildings and watched people.  Throughout the week, everyone in the family and her friends stopped and rested on the bench with her.  The bench provided a way for others to share a conversation with her.

A bench is a wonderful description of how God wants us to sit and rest with Him.  A bench says, “Do not be in a hurry.  Just sit and rest a while and take in what is all around you.”  My cousin’s dog, Harper, never passes a bench without jumping up on it and sitting down to rest even when my cousin wants to keep walking.  Harper is not moving until she is finished with bench resting.  For some of you this bench resting is where you are now in life.  You are resting either from all your labors or resting in the peace of God’s presence.  This is wonderful.  I am thankful for your rest.

But for others of you, the bench has a different meaning.  You feel benched in life.  It is like being benched on a sports team.  You were playing each game and doing well.  Then you made some mistakes and needed to sit out and refocus yourself.  But maybe it was just the coach’s decision.  You did not do anything wrong.   The coach just had other preferences of who he was going to play in the game.  Either way you were benched.

In life, it feels like sometimes we are benched.  We did not do anything wrong, not a consequence of our actions, it just happened.  Grief and loss and change feels like being benched.  It is like we were enjoying life – being in the game – and then life changed and here we are on the bench not knowing how to function and live and be involved in life.  Everything changed, and we were not prepared, nor did we want the change. 

So wherever you find yourself today, the bench is a necessary resting place and a place of transition.  Slow down your thoughts and the busyness of your schedule and sit for a moment with God.  It is difficult for me to just sit but it is a necessary step in growing closer to God and figuring out life.  The bench is a place to ponder, reflect, and rest.  It is a place to catch your breath.  I believe most benches are made of wood because we were not meant to stay on the bench forever.  It is not a place of comfort where we can stay, but a place to rest and process life.  It is a place to take in the beauty around us, to watch others and reflect about our own relationships.  We will know when it is time to get up.  The bench gets a little hard, and we realize if we do not get up soon, we are going to be too sore or tired to move further down the path to our destination.

So, when you see a bench, sit for a moment, rest with God, and when you are finished with bench resting, take the next step into life.  There will be more benches on the journey.  You can rest on each one.  Take your time.  Begin to enjoy the journey knowing you can rest with God all along the way.