Essence of Me

“God decided to let his people know this rich and glorious secret which he has for all people.  This secret is Christ himself who is in you.  He is our only hope for glory.”   Colossians 1:27 NCV

Recently I was looking through some old pictures and scrapbooks.  Yes, they are filled with memories of the past, but this time I looked at myself in those pictures.  Who was I in each picture?  Yes, physically I have matured and changed, but the essence of me is still the same.  Who was I in relationship with family and friends in those photos?  I looked into my eyes and tried to remember me.

Essence is the nature and quality of something.  It is our soul or spirit, the center of who we are.  We mature and grow over the years and life situations affect us and change our outlook and perspective on life, but the core of who we are was created by God.  I believe we do not fully develop this inner being until we are seasoned by life, heartaches, challenges, and spiritual growth.  It takes time.

As we walk through the journey of grief and loss, one of the most difficult aspects is figuring out who we are now.  No matter the loss, we have been changed because of it.  How we define ourselves and how we interact with others feels unsettled and no longer normal or comfortable.  The essence has been affected by the pain and emptiness of life, and we do not recognize who we are.

You may have lost yourself years ago as you became a people pleaser.  You started out caring for others and their needs, but your worth got wrapped up in how others viewed you.  You avoided conflict to please others then developed the need to be validated by them.  But you lost yourself, the essence of you, and became what others wanted you to be.  Your worth was seen in the acceptance of others at the expense of yourself.  You are exhausted because you have not been who you were created to be.  Allowing others not God to define you leaves you empty and weary.

In this new year, let’s try a different path.  God is the one who created you.  You are His child.  God sees you as loved, forgiven, special, having worth and value because we are His children.  You are enough just being you.  The Spirit of Jesus, the Holy Spirit, dwells within you.  That is the secret.

Some of you may feel you lost your value, worth and purpose when your loved one died.  You feel lost.  You are more than the relationship.  It helped to add to the quality of your life and build on your foundation of life.  The essence of who you are is still in you.  You take yourself – who you are - with you throughout all of life.  You have been lost, forgotten, loved, misunderstood, valued, challenged, not good enough, trusted and a mix of so much more.

As you walk into this new year, take who you are with you, not who others expect or who you think others want you to be.  Be bold.  Be you.  Don’t know who you are now?  The first step into finding who you are is to ground yourself into the essence – the natural quality – of yourself.  This is found in God’s love and grace which is given to you through the Holy Spirit.  The Spirit does all the work.  We just surrender to his working in our soul.  You are loved by God who created you.  Your value and worth is in God’s love not how other people view you.

Everywhere you go, you take yourself with you.  Start enjoying your own company.  Start taking opportunities to live in the moments in front of you.  Start accepting yourself for who you are.   Give yourself permission to step into life for moments at a time.  Forgive yourself.  Love who you are now and who you are becoming.  You cannot change the past. It has helped to define you.  You get a choice of who you are now in the present and future.  Let go of pleasing others and be free of the exhaustion it has created.  Choose to step into the essence of who you are.