Walking Into

“For you have delivered me from death and my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before God in the light of life.”    Psalm 56:13

Through the snow and cold, I continued to walk my dog every day.  I bundled up as much as I could and braved the wind, snow, and bitter cold. The weather did not bother my dog, Annie at all.  It was when I turned into the direction of the wind, that the sharp wind took my breath away for a moment and my dog’s ears looked like she was flying.  It was difficult to keep walking into the wind, but I knew I would turn around soon and be able to push through the walk each day.  Now the weather has warmed up and the snow and ice are melting, and it is easier to walk without the layers of clothing.  When the sun comes out, it feels warm and refreshing to take our walks.

Life is like my walks.  As the journey of grief and change begins, the bitter cold of the pain and sadness is felt.  It feels like we are trudging into the wind of life.  Nothing is easy, and it feels so cold, empty, and alone.  The weight of grief is like the layers of clothing, and it is so difficult to drag oneself through each moment.  The steps are heavy, and the exhaustion is felt in the harsh conditions of grief.  It feels like this will never end and there is no relief in sight.

Some of you are walking right into the strong winds of pain, sorrow, and loss.  It is so fresh and hits you in the face each morning you awake.  You feel overwhelmed and exhausted and just want to give up.  Keep trudging.  You are not alone.  It feels like you are barely moving and all alone.  God is holding your hand and when you fall, and you will, God will be right beside you to pick you up and even carry you.  You will never walk alone.

Some of you have been walking through the grief and while you will never forget, you do not want to keep trudging in the pain.  It is okay to go through it and walk into life.  You can turn in a different direction and focus on being grateful and thankful for the life you had and the love that remains a part of who you are.  You know you cannot live in the past and change what has happened.  You desire to walk into this different life and not carry the heavy weight of the past.

As we reflect on this past year, I am reflecting on where we have journeyed in these blogs.  The challenge was to process through the feelings and the grief.  We recognized the commotion in our soul as we sort out feelings and this different life.  Taking the step of releasing our loved one to live in Heaven so we can live here on earth required us to trust even in our darkness.  In attempting to change our focus we have felt discombobulated as we traipse through the grief with a hope of a different life.  We have needed to just rest and be present in the moments.

Your desire is to live.  Life is so different.  It is the life you now have.  So how do you walk into life even when you do not know how?  I believe it is consistently trusting Jesus.  Jesus is with you.  God loves you.  You are not alone even when you feel alone.  Trust is an assured reliance.  It is confidence and dependence on God.  It is faith and hope and doubt and fear and love all mixed together.   It is taking a step in the darkness and having a hope of a hope that God’s light will be revealed.  It is walking into life not just going around in circles.  It is living in the present and in the moment. In this new year, walk into your life.  Be consistent in trusting Jesus to walk with you and walk you through. 

“So I will walk with the Lord in the land of the living.”   Psalm 11:9