The Conundrum of Life
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“And when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left, your ears shall hear a word behind you saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” Isaiah 30:21 (RSV)
Recently I talked with a widow who wondered when she would know who she is in this different life. She wanted to live this life, but she had no idea who she was and how to figure out life. She was in a conundrum.
A conundrum is a confusing and difficult problem or question. It leaves a person in a quandary or dilemma not knowing what to do in a situation or how to answer the puzzle. It feels like you do not know what choice or decision to make. We have all experienced this at some time in our lives. We are confused about what to do. We do not know the right way to go. We feel the weight of making a decision.
We desire something different, but we get into a rut in our daily lives. It can be in our work, our marriage, our family relationships, or our daily routine. We tell ourselves that we need to change, but the daily rut becomes too familiar and comfortable. It is a struggle. How do we choose to take steps out of this rut? If we do, then what? It is unfamiliar, and we say to ourselves, “What if I mess up and it does not work out?” We are afraid of failure so we do not try, or we know we will not be good enough so we do nothing.
These thoughts and feelings are real and are defeating. They keep us from even starting on a new path. The conundrum of life bases everything on our own strength, determination, and abilities. When we focus on our failures of the past – our track record – we are already defeated. We have tried and messed up on other attempts so why will this time be different? So we go back to our rut thinking it is an okay routine.
Routine can be good if it is healthy. I have a morning routine. I get up around the same time, do my morning stretches, walk my dog, Annie, then run three and a half miles, lift my weights, drink my protein shake, and spend time with God in my morning devotions. I am caring for my body, God’s temple, during this routine. I pray as I run releasing my emotions and feelings, and my devotional time brings hope to my mind and spirit. I humbly share this with you to affirm routines can be healthy. A rut is not healthy – it is a place where you are stuck. A rut is a habit or pattern that has become dull and unproductive. It feels like a dead end.
So how do you get out of your rut, know what direction to go and figure out who you are now? How do you answer the conundrum of your life? Good question. I cannot give a specific answer for your life, but I know who can. The Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is the Spirit of Jesus that lives within you when you receive Jesus as your Lord and Savior. The Holy Spirit is our Helper, Counselor, Guide, and Advocate. The Spirit’s purpose is to give to you power and to energize you. The Spirit comes beside you to teach and guide you. The Spirit carries the burdens of life you were not intended to carry.
Some of the reason for our ruts is that we still see ourselves as the one who messed up and does not deserve another chance and a good life with meaning and purpose. Our worry and anxiety keep us stuck and in a quandary. We worry about what could happen and fear the future. We cannot calm our inner fears and worries. This weakens us, makes us feel overwhelmed, tense and afraid to change and find out who we really are now. We define ourselves based on our anxiety, fear, worry, and “stuckness.”
The answer is the calming peace of the Holy Spirit. The Spirit lives in our hearts. We need to release the power of the Spirit. The Spirit can bring calmness and peace within us. Our circumstances may not change, but our outlook and attitude will because it is the Spirit working through us not our own weariness. The Spirit is gentle and sweet. This reminds me of the song – “Sweet, Sweet Spirit” –
“There’s a sweet, sweet Spirit in this place
And I know that it’s the Spirit of the Lord.”
When we do not know who we are or which direction to go, consult the Spirit. It is like a maternal tenderness like my mom. This past week would have been my mom’s birthday. I saved the letters she wrote to me while I was in college and serving my first churches before we started calling each day. In these letters are words of tenderness and support, guidance, and direction along with the family news. There was a sweet Spirit in my mom.
The Holy Spirit will soothe our anxious thoughts and give us peace. The Spirit also gives us power, guidance, and reminds us we are chosen and loved. When you have a conundrum in life and do not know what to do, turn to the Holy Spirit that is within you. First worship and then listen and then follow.
