Life - Good and Hard

“When life is good, enjoy it.  But when life is hard, remember: God gives good times and hard times, and no one knows what tomorrow will bring.”    Ecclesiastes 7:14

I asked, “How’s life?”  She responded, “Today it is pretty good.  Yesterday, not so good.”  Another person when asked the same question stated, “I’m good, really.”  Despite all she shared that was happening in her life around her, she was good.  As I talked with another lady, she told me that life has always been hard, but she has survived.  Her faith in God was strong, but she was now asking the “why?” question.  She had survived cancer, but now it came back for the second time.  “Why?”

Good is a relative term.  Each person has a standard to measure good. When I checked the dictionary for the definition of good, I discovered about a hundred synonyms for good.  Some made me smile – “hunky-dory.”  Some were based on slang – “wicked.”  Some were country origin – “up to scratch.”  Good is a quality or level of measure.  How do you measure good?  Is it when everything is going the way you want it?    Is it when all your family and friends are all right and healthy and happy?

Then there is the measure of hard when related to life.  It means life is difficult with problems that seem overwhelming, frustrating, and unpleasant to bear.  Hard life is also based on one’s perspective in relation to the experience of others.  We tend to compare our circumstances to others and make a qualitative assessment of who has the harder life and who has had it easier, or everything seems to go their way.

Life is good.  Life is hard.  No denying this about life.  Our perspective and foundation influence these descriptions.  We may say, “God is good.” We say this when things turn out well and our prayers are answered the way we asked.  God is with us in the good and in the hard days.  Nothing changes God’s presence; it is just we question the hard times wondering why God allows it.

So, when life is good, do you really enjoy it to the fullest?  It may be good days or just good moments as you define it.  Are you fully present and taking in the good and giving thanks for the blessings of the good life?  Or are you filled with anxiety and worry about how long will the good last and when will something bad happen?  If this is you, then you are never completely enjoying the blessings of life God is providing for you.  God is always in your life even when God does not take away the problem or bring healing.  God wants you to enjoy His gift of the present moment.

When life is hard, and God seems so far away.  God is still present, but the difficulties of life cloud our view and our feelings are focused on the pain and hurt.  We go through battles, struggles, and hard times.  This is a natural part of life in a broken world.  It is the way we handle these times that builds our dependency on God.  It is not a punishment though it is difficult to see beyond the struggle.  God is still listening.  God still loves you.  You are not alone.  It is remembering God’s faithfulness in the past and His faithfulness to others who are part of your faith foundation.

I, too, can create my own hard times by my choices and my anxiety and worry about what could happen.  Life is tough enough without creating in your head all the possibilities of what could go wrong.  I start to question if I am making the right decision.  Is this what God wants me to do?  I am learning that God gives us freedom in choices.  Some of our choices make the path more difficult so we learn some tough lessons that strengthen us and give us wisdom in future decision making.

Life is good.  Look for the good and rejoice in it.  Glorify God in the good.  Life is hard.  Embrace the hard. Take it one moment at a time. Know that you are never alone in it.  Lean into Jesus.  Take Jesus’ hand and say, “Walk with me through this next moment.”  Break down the hard in moments.  You cannot carry the load by yourself.  Ask for help and support.  Rely on God in the good and in the hard.

Life is meant to be lived in the now not the tomorrows.  Live in the good and the hard times.  God never changes and is with you in both of them.

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Check out my new book – Live Different Moments.  Each chapter has an Annie story.  Annie will guide you in living into life.

My NEW book – Live Different Moments - Available on Amazon -

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

My Books – Living In The Different  and Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper – Available on Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Consecrate The Memories

“I lift up my eyes to the hills.  From whence does my help come?  My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.”  Psalm 121:1-2

I lifted my eyes to the hills of Camp Otterbein, and I was flooded with memories of this sacred place.  I first viewed these hills when I was in college and worked two summers on staff.  I slept in a tent one summer as support and kitchen staff, and the next summer I was an outpost counselor.  Camp Otterbein was the beginning of my ministry.  I led The Walk to Emmaus at the camp.  I led work camps, church camps and youth retreats and lived in the cabins.  The Camp was part of the foundation of my ministry along with several other United Methodist camps in Ohio.

I made my public confession to follow Jesus at Camp Wesley and confirmed my call into ministry at Camp St. Mary’s.  Church camp was a vital part of my Christian faith journey.  I attended Church camp as a camper for seven years.  Even my first college roommate was a friend I had met at Church camp.  The camps were sacred places in my Christian walk.

On this day though, I was present to celebrate the life of Camp Otterbein and also grieve the ending of its life as a United Methodist camp.  I was attending a funeral – the death of a camp.  The service was called a “Deconsecration Service.”  To consecrate is to make something sacred, to bless, make holy and set apart.  It is to dedicate to God.  To deconsecrate is to transfer from sacred to secular use.  The camp had been sold to a private investor and would no longer function as a Church camp.

I walked that day before the service up the hill to Vesper Hill.  It is an outdoor worship place overlooking the hills.  I sat on one of the wooden benches worn by use and age and looked up at the large homemade wooden cross that had graced this worship space for years.  I looked out into the hills, the trees, and looked up to take in the beautiful blue sky and white fluffy clouds.  I thought of all the times I had sat here with youth and adults and prayed, shared God’s Word, rested from the climb and sat in silence taking in God’s majestic beauty.  I thought of all those who came before me and committed their lives to Jesus on this hill.  The land is sacred and no matter who owns it, the land with remain sacred because the land is God’s creation.

As I walked down the hill and was headed to the lake one last time, I heard a voice call my name.  Out of the woods emerged Tom and his wife, Karen.  Tom was the Outpost Director when I worked as an outpost counselor.  It had been years since our paths had crossed, but this funeral brought us back together in this holy place.  As we hugged, I remembered the love and fellowship we shared together.  I had lived at camp on this holy ground.  It was part of who I am and who Tom and Karen are.  As we talked, the memories just flooded our hearts.

At the service there were others I knew from my camping days.  Stories were shared.  The service was a celebration of the life of the camp.  The history was shared, memories were expressed, songs were sung, and for a sacred moment we were all united in the love of God.  God had used this holy land to bring so many youth and adults closer to Him.  In those moments we all remembered and gave thanks.

Nobody can take away the memories that I have and all those who loved Camp Otterbein have.  The memories and how God used those moments are what are sacred and set apart as holy.  The memories are associated with an actual place, but you take those moments with you no matter where you go.  They are always within you, and the emotions and feelings connected to them are part of one’s foundation.

In the loss of a loved one, the person is no longer physically present, but the love and memories are always with you.  Nobody takes them away.  They are part of your foundation and your sacred place in your heart.  We can pull out those memories anytime we desire.

While I am sad that Camp Otterbein will no longer be a Church camp, and future young people will not have the opportunity to experience life changing moments on this land, the land is forever sacred because it is God’s land and because of all that happened on those grounds.  The sacredness remains in the hearts of all the campers and staff.  The sacredness of your loved one remains in your heart too.

You are standing on Holy Ground -

“We are standing on holy ground, and I know that there are angels all around.  Let us praise Jesus now.  We are standing in His presence on holy ground.”

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Check out my new book – Live Different Moments.  Each chapter has an Annie story.  Annie will guide you in living into life.

My NEW book – Live Different Moments - Available on Amazon -

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

My Books – Living In The Different  and Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper – Available on Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Directionally Challenged

“If you go the wrong way – to the left or to the right – you will hear a voice behind you saying, “This is the right way.  You should go this way.”  Isaiah 30:21

A client called a few minutes before her appointment and said she was lost. Her GPS took her somewhere other than my office.  She had been to my office numerous times but always used GPS to get there.  Once I realized where she was, I could direct her to my office.  She was directionally challenged – not knowing which way was north or south.  She knew left or right and was able to turn left and find my street.

We all go the wrong way at times when we drive.  GPS does not always take us where we want to go.  It seems to have a mind of its own.  I have turned too soon when following GPS and had to back up or turn around and continue down the street to my destination.  I have also driven past where I needed to turn and had to turn around and go back to the correct street.

We get lost in life too, wondering what path to take when life changes.  A path may be the right way for awhile but then it feels empty and lonely, and we question if it is time for a change.  It is familiar, but you still feel lost and wonder if you should keep doing what you have always done.  We need to ask ourselves some questions about where we are on this path of life and be honest with ourselves.  Is it fulfilling?  Am I here just because it is familiar?  Has it run its course?  Am I afraid of taking a risk and changing directions?  Am I staying because of others and their expectations?  And many more questions but few answers.

I am in the midst of change – selling one place, buying another, and moving to a different location.  It is time again for an address change notification.  It is easier at times to stay in the familiar, but one risks just existing instead of living.  It becomes just going through the motions of life.  You know you can do it, but do you want to continue doing it?  One risks not experiencing the adventures and blessings on the new path.  In each season of life – whether caused by aging, health, loss, or other circumstances, we need to change directions and make decisions which way to go.  How do you know which way to choose?

Are you directionally challenged not just in the compass of north and south, but with your life?  Who are you asking for directions?  Hopefully it is not someone who has never experienced what you have or traveled your direction.  It is not following others because they think they know what is best for you. You need to discern your own path and be guided by the right signposts.

The direction of our lives is determined by what is in our hearts.  Who has your heart?  Society sets career goals with a focus on possessions, wealth, status, security and prestige.  The direction of society challenges us to achieve, acquire, and be busy.  Society makes you choose to stay on course with everyone and become financially secure, develop a reputation, and be comfortable and self-sufficient.  Society sometimes makes you choose between what the world expects and requires or following your heart.

When all of us experience change and loss, the world’s directions leave us directionally challenged and empty.  Oh, I have lived this busyness and the need to achieve even in ministry.  My focus has changed though.  It is not that it was a wrong direction, it just made me learn where I do not want to go.  I have been slowing down and listening to the One who gives perfect directions.  I do not need to choose between following God and staying on course with my life because staying on course is following God’s direction.

How do we know where to go and which direction God is leading?  First, it is slowing ourselves down from the busyness of the world and our anxious thoughts.  It is removing ourselves from the merry-go-round of the media world and the comparisons with others.  It is not just reading God’s Word but listening to His Word speak to your heart.  It is listening to music that speaks God’s Word and love and grace into your heart.  It is choosing God-fearing friends and mentors to assist discerning God’s Word to you.  It is daily seeking God purpose just for today.

If God opens doors that are within the guidance and direction of His Word, then go that way.  Sometimes I believe God gives us choices in directions.  God blesses us with the freedom of choice because He loves us so much.  The challenge is to distinguish God’s voice from the noises of this world.

Begin this journey by saying, “God, I trust you.  I am listening.”  This is my constant prayer.

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Check out my new book – Live Different Moments.  Each chapter has an Annie story.  Annie will guide you in living into life.

My NEW book – Live Different Moments - Available on Amazon -

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

My Books – Living In The Different  and Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper – Available on Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

The Tracks In My Head

“Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that in due time he may exalt you.  Cast all your anxieties on him, for he cares about you.”  I Peter 5:6-7

I saw the tracks in the parking lot where the workers had walked through the concrete dust.  It looked like they had sprayed off their equipment and then walked through the water.  They left their tracks.  In the winter, I see tracks through the snow from animals that cross my running path.  I walked across my vinyl floor and left wet footprints because my socks were wet from my morning run. These are all visible tracks that usually clean up with some soap and water or melting snow.

We see railroad tracks that lead somewhere down the line and are permanent.  They are straight and the train that runs on them does not deviate from the rail unless an obstacle or engine failure cause it to jump the tracks.  The tracks go in different directions but connect so that the train can transfer tracks.  We have racetracks where people, cars, tractors, motorcycles and a variety of other types of vehicles go round and round with the purpose of winning a race.  There are lots of different types of tracks in the world.

A track can also be a direction.  For example, a person can be on track to graduate or for a job promotion.  There are many definitions for tracks.  As I was running my well-worn path this past week, I was thinking about all the tracks that are in our heads.  We may have a well-worn track of worry and anxiety.  It is easy to jump on this track when something goes wrong , or we are afraid for the future.  We have tracks that focus on schedules, deadlines, tasks, and the overwhelming details of life.  We have tracks that focus on the future and all the possible outcomes.  We have tracks that think and worry about family, friends, loved ones, and how to fix their lives.  We have tracks of grief, and we tend to slow down on this journey to remember and linger in the memories.  All these tracks or paths in our heads are well-worn and can easily consume and become the focus of life.  Some paths we just keep jumping back on, and it feels like we are going in circles.

Is there a common track that runs through everything in your head - a track that keeps you from going in the wrong direction or being consumed by the negativity and struggles of life?  Can you pull yourself off a path that leads to worry, anxiety, or depression – a thought path that focuses on the things of this world that do not really matter?  I believe the track that we desire is the straight and constant path of God’s Presence.

My head can get pretty complex with all my thoughts, and if I could draw what is in my head it would be a jumbled mess of tracks crossing over each other with some going nowhere and some with an abrupt end.  Some are well-worn because I go over and over them continuously.  Come on, you have to admit those thought patterns in your head can be mixed up, not defined, and feel like they are not going anywhere with purpose.

My desire is that every track of thought would run through God’s track.  That is, I would include God in each thought.  When my mind wanders and I feel lost, anxious or just not myself, I have come to realize these feelings remind me I forgot to include God in my thoughts.

God calls us to humble ourselves and admit that we cannot stay focused on the right track of life without him.  Get on track with God and allow God to set the pace and the timing.  It is giving God all the anxieties knowing He cares for you and me.  God wants to be part of every thought, step, direction, and plan of our lives.  When we get on track in our heads with God, we begin to trust God, seek His guidance, and rely on His peace and comfort.  I am trying not to get ahead of God but to slow down my thoughts and stay on the track of today.

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Check out my new book – Live Different Moments.  Each chapter has an Annie story.  Annie will guide you in living into life.

My NEW book – Live Different Moments - Available on Amazon -

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

My Books – Living In The Different  and Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper – Available on Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Trust The Designer

“I know what I am planning for you,” says the Lord.  “I have good plans for you, not plans to hurt you.  I will give you hope and a good future.”  Jeremiah 29:11

In the Church parking lot where I run, the Church is remodeling their main entrance.  Each morning, I observe the workers’ progress from the previous day.  Their supervisor brings the plans and lays them out on his truck hood, and they discuss the next steps.  At least that is what appears to me to be happening.  I have no clue what the plans are nor is it my responsibility to figure it out.  I just need to be patient and wait for the work to be completed and then enjoy the result.  I have no role or voice; I just have the opportunity to watch their work and the progress of the plans.  I can guess what it will look like, but why focus on something that may never happen?  I am choosing to enjoy the steps I encounter each morning.

One morning, the boss had the plans in his hands as he talked with the workers.  It seemed to me that something was not right as the boss pointed to an area of their work.  I assume that there was a deviation from the original plan.  For the project to be successful, the workers had to follow the exact blueprint, or it would not be sturdy and conform to the agreed upon creation.  The workers had to trust their supervisor and the plan.

I believe God as the Great Designer has a plan for each of our lives.  God desires for us to live an abundant life and live a life following Jesus.  God wants us to follow His plan of salvation and life and live forever with Him in Heaven.  I believe God has a plan – a direction and a design for our lives but not a blueprint.  God is with us in every detail, but God gives us freedom to make choices in the plan.  These paths may take us on a winding way and a longer more difficult journey but will eventually lead us to our ultimate goal of living with Jesus now and forever.

So, when we trust God, give our hearts to Jesus, and allow His Spirit to live within us and guide us, why is the path so treacherous and difficult?  It is that “why” question we ask in situations that do not make any sense to us.  We know we live in a fallen and broken world.  We know the sins of others bring pain and hurt.  We know God is with us in the sorrows, troubles, and grief of life.  But we still wonder how this could be part of God’s plan.  Why does not God just heal or prevent it from happening?  God has all power and can do anything He chooses.  So why doesn’t God?  We are angry, disappointed, and hurt when we pray and ask God to heal or bless or grant our request and God doesn’t.  We pray for God’s will, but we also pray that God’s plan and will fits our desire.

Oh, it is so hard to trust when we cannot see the plan and future.  We want to know how it fits together and what life will look like before we trust.  Remember, our responsibility is to trust.  God knows the big picture, we don’t.  Oh, but we want to know. This is where our anxiety comes into life, and we focus on the future.  We may then focus on the plan for the lives of others around us and attempt to determine and guide their life plan.  It is not our job or responsibility to choose or guide another person’s life.

Just like I am not privileged to see the plans of the project at the Church and only see the day-to-day progress, God only gives to you and me the plan for the day.  Sometimes God just gives us the plan moment by moment.  Even when I trust and surrender to God, I have a hope and desire that when I ask God to bless or heal that God will grant my request.  There are times we all think this but do not want to admit out loud that we have gone through enough struggles.  We keep score of all the heartaches and pain and traumas and feel that we got more than our share so God should answer our prayers because what we desire is good.

Unfortunately, life does not work that way.  God has provided a way for the forgiveness of our sins through Jesus’ death on the cross.  That is the greatest gift, our salvation.  If that is all God did for us, it would be enough. But God is the Great Designer and has a plan and good future for each of us.  Life is not fair and bad happens within the design, but God is still with us. God still loves us.  Our job is to trust even when trusting seems so hard and so contrary to how we feel.  I do not need to know every step; I just need to know who walks with me in each step – Jesus!

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Check out my new book – Live Different Moments.  Each chapter has an Annie story.  Annie will guide you in living into life.

My NEW book – Live Different Moments - Available on Amazon -

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

My Books – Living In The Different  and Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper – Available on Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Comfortable Presence

“And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you forever.”  John 14:16

Recently, a widow stated her desire was to have a comfortable presence with her son.  She wanted to establish a relationship with her son that was easy in conversation, and she did not want her son to feel responsible for her.  Her hope was that he would not avoid being with her because of the loss of his dad and not want to deal with the grief and death.

This phrase “Comfortable presence” resonated with me, and I have been pondering its meaning and application for life.  We each have shoes that are more comfortable than other pairs.  We have a chair that feels comfortable.  We go to restaurants that feel more welcoming and comfortable.  We have food that we label as “comfort foods” and eat it when we need something to make us feel better.

Comfortable is to provide ease and relaxation.  It is being free from stress, fear or worry.  It is being restful and content.  It is a familiar feeling.  One’s presence is the state of being somewhere.  When your presence is requested, it means you are invited to show up and be in the moment.  It is a connection.

With whom do you have a comfortable presence?  My mom was always my comfortable presence.  I never felt any judgment or negativity from her.  She was comfortable being who she was and therefore her presence brought a calmness and an assurance that I was loved.  I could talk with my mom and share conversations that went deep into our faith and love for Jesus.  I miss my mom’s comfortable presence.

There are people we meet that we form an immediate connection with and feel at ease sharing life with them.  It is usually a common interest or experience that forms this bond.  Recently, I connected with a new friend over the loss of our dear companion dogs.  We shared our grief and talked about how our dogs were our constant companions and were with us through some struggles of life.  We understood each other.  There was a comfortable presence in our sharing that has led to sharing in other areas of life.

In this different life, it is learning to be comfortable with yourself.  Before you can share life again with someone, it is being at ease with who you are now.  I am learning to be comfortable letting go of the expectations I assume others have of me and my own expectations to measure up to the world.  There is a freedom in releasing these and being comfortable in who God created me to be and to do today.  I am comfortable in letting go, changing directions, and closing a door to a chapter of life.  It is not trying to do the same thing because it was familiar.

Are you comfortable being alone with yourself?  That is, without media to distract you.  It is enjoying your own presence and liking who you are becoming.  When you are accepting of yourself, you have less worry and stress because you give yourself permission to be who God created you to be, and you are not focused on the expectations of others.  You take yourself with you everywhere you go, so learn to like yourself and you will enjoy life and live fully in the present.  It then becomes more comfortable to let go and change and live in God’s comfortable presence.

Yes, God’s comfortable presence is my desire.  This brings rest and contentment.  The world and its pressures and stress fade as I become more aware of God’s constant presence.  It is like being hugged and protected and loved all the time which is what God actually does.  We just are not constantly aware, nor do we step into His presence all the time even though God is always present.

Rest in the comfort of God’s Presence.  Share everything with God.  Be in constant awareness that God is with you.  His presence is within and all around.  Smile in your awareness of God’s Presence.  You are never alone. Abide in God’s Presence.  You do not need to carry the load alone nor figure out the future.  Trust God today.  Rest in the comfort that God loves you, accepts you, forgives you, does not hold anything against you, and wants to hear everything that is in your heart – Everything!  To rest in this comfort is to be at ease that God has you and you just need to be in the moment with God. 

Rest in God’s Comfortable Presence!

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Check out my new book – Live Different Moments.  Each chapter has an Annie story.  Annie will guide you in living into life.

My NEW book – Live Different Moments - Available on Amazon -

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

My Books – Living In The Different  and Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper – Available on Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Waiting To Recover

“I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry.”  Psalm 40:1

As I write this blog, I am sitting in the waiting area of the hospital surgical unit.  I am waiting for the completion of a surgery.  I look around the area and see others waiting on loved ones.  One person is talking on her phone.  One guy is working on his laptop.  Another person is taking a nap I think because his eyes are closed.  Another is talking with a hospital staff member.  I look outside and for the first time this week the sun is shining, and the sky is a brilliant blue.  It looks inviting, but I sit inside waiting.  I am waiting for a completion of surgery and for the surgeon to tell me “All went well.”

I remember sitting in waiting rooms many times with family, church members’ families, and with friends.  We try to focus on something other than the reason we are all here.  Sometimes the waiting is for a routine procedure that is not life threatening and other times the waiting is filled with fear of the outcome.

Our bodies break, have pain, do not always function as we desire, need healing, have diseases, and have parts that need repaired.  That is the reason for surgery.  We wait for our bodies to heal and recover. Everyone who completes surgery goes into a recovery room for a period of time.  It is a time to come out of the anesthesia, control any pain from the procedure, and prepare for the next step.

So, as I wait, I ponder how the waiting, surgery, and recovery relate to life.  To wait is to stay where one is until something else happens.  This is not an easy task because we tend to be impatient and desire to know the future and what is going to happen next.  To wait for God’s direction and answer is even more difficult because God’s timing is different than ours.  It always seems slower.  Patience involves trust. Just as we wait for surgery, we trust the surgeon who will be operating and wait for his skilled hands to provide the needed help to our bodies. When life has changed, we do not know what to do next because the familiar is gone, and life will never go back to the way we knew it.  So, we wait for direction.  We wait in trust that God will provide what is needed.

The surgery reminds me of what has changed.  Sometimes the loss of a loved one feels like surgery – they have been removed from our physical lives.  Our hearts are broken, and it feels like we will never recover from the loss.  I believe God is the Great Healer, and His healing and surgery comes from His Spirit which we cannot see or touch.  His Spirit is within us healing us from inside and giving comfort and peace. 

Then comes the recovery which is waking up to the reality of life as we have it now.  There have been changes, and in recovery we experience the pain of these changes.  To recover is to return to a normal state but nothing feels normal again after loss.  Another way of understanding recovery is to regain strength, purpose, and hope.

We never get over the loss of a loved one, but we accept the loss and affirm the love and memories are the foundation that helps us take steps into this different life.  We need time to rest, recover, and refresh.  It may seem like we are doing nothing during recovery time but inside the heart and soul God is working His miracle of healing and hope.  You may not see it nor feel it, but one day you begin to realize you are focusing on living and seeking to find joy again.  Just like in the physical recovery from surgery, you may not see your healing, but it is happening within your body.  You begin to be more active without pain.

Give yourself time to recover.  Be willing to wait.  Allow God to bring healing within your soul. Recovery and healing are happening.  Give yourself grace.  Give yourself some rest.  Have some moments you do nothing so that the healing power of God’s Spirit can work within you.  Take it slow but keep taking steps into living.

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Check out my new book – Live Different Moments.  Each chapter has an Annie story.  Annie will guide you in living into life.

My NEW book – Live Different Moments - Available on Amazon -

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

My Books – Living In The Different  and Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper – Available on Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Intentional Consistency

As you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so continue to live in Him.  Keep your roots deep in him and have your lives built on him.”  Colossians 2:6-7

I have been assisting a friend whose living space got out of control after she experienced changes in her life through the death of family and other life changes.  It began with bringing things into her space from her loved ones.  Then work papers came home with her.  Then stuff just took over.  She had good intentions to sort through her possessions and organize her space, but life was full of demands, helping others, and just exhaustion.  Her intentions were good but impossible to attain and be consistent.

So we developed an intentional plan.  Here is the plan.  First, she got an empty box and put it in her living space. Every day she would walk through her house for five minutes and find items that she was no longer using or did not have meaning or value to her anymore and she would put them in the box.  Once the box was full, she would take it to her vehicle and drop it off to a donation center.  She had to be intentional and consistent in order for this plan to work and begin to clear the clutter from her living space and develop a healthy environment.

An intention is an idea or task that you plan to carry out and complete.  To be intentional means you have a purpose and plan.  You are deliberate in doing something on your own.  To be consistent is to do something the same way over time.  It is constant, regular, dependable, reliable. 

We may have a plan for our environment to make it healthy, but we may not be consistent in achieving our goal.  We may have a plan to be physically healthy but are not consistent especially when it comes to eating foods that are not healthy but tempting.  We may have a plan to exercise but are not consistent because of our schedules or the weather.  We may have a desire to grow in our relationship with Jesus but are not consistent in spending time in Scripture and prayer and awareness of God’s Presence.

The clutter in our heads may resemble the clutter in our homes.  We have the desire to be free of worry, anxiety, fear, regret, past hurts, anger, and the trauma and emotions of life.  But the emotions pile up and consume without any relief.  We are exhausted.  The loss and grief and changes of life make it difficult to release these feelings and emotions because we have lost the one whom we share the burdens of life.  Or we have nobody we trust. 

What if we started being intentional with the feelings, emotions, pains and hurts that are within us and began to release them into God’s box five minutes every day?  This may sound like a strange idea.  We each have a lot of clutter in our heads that we hold on to that has no value or meaning in our lives.  We hold on to it because we have been hurt and feel the intensity of loss.  We cannot change what has happened.  The only thing we can do is accept it has happened, grieve, and choose to step into this different life.  We can choose to give to God what we cannot release and allow God’s touch to bring healing and hope.

This is a process and that is where consistency comes into the plan.  We need to come to God every day and talk about what is inside of us and what is preventing us from living fully and abundantly into the life God designed for us to live.  It is being intentional to focus on the present and God’s presence.  It is being consistent in letting go of what you cannot change.  It is not living as a victim but as a redeemed, forgiven child of a loving God.

God is intentional and consistent in His love for you and me.  His grace and mercy is intentionally consistent.  It never changes even when life changes.  It is trusting God even in the pain and hurt of life.  It is being intentional to forgive and not be controlled by the one who hurt you.  It is being consistent in your awareness of God with you and living in the moment.

Let’s be intentionally consistent!

***************************************

Check out my new book – Live Different Moments.  Each chapter has an Annie story.  Annie will guide you in living into life.

My NEW book – Live Different Moments - Available on Amazon -

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

My Books – Living In The Different  and Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper – Available on Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

The Tempo of Life

“I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper to be with you forever, the Spirit of truth.  The world cannot accept him, because it does not see him or know him. But you know him, because he lives with you and he will be in you.”  John 14:16-17

I enjoy listening to music.  I grew up with music being played in the house by my mom.  She played a stack of records (now called vinyl) on the stereo throughout the day.  My parents enjoyed Gospel sings and Quartet music, and we traveled around the area to Churches to listen to a variety of Gospel groups.  My parents usually purchased a record, and it was played for weeks and then included in the stack. 

I listen to the words of songs as well as the music and the beat.  Sometimes a group will slow down a familiar song to a tempo that just makes the song drag, and it takes away the enjoyment of the song for me.  The song loses its meaning because the tempo is no longer the familiar version as I learned it.  It is just like when someone singing our National Anthem improvises and changes the familiar arrangement.  That bothers me.  Each song has an original tempo and beat created by the composer and author.

Tempo in music is the speed at which a piece of music was written and created to be played.  Tempo can also be applied to our daily lives, too.  The tempo of life means the pace or speed life was created to be lived.  It is the cadence or rhythm of life.

So who sets the tempo of life for you?  I have heard people say life feels like a rollercoaster ride or a merry-go-round.  Some state life feels like it is going so fast that they cannot keep up.  They need it to slow down.  Some are filled with fear and step out of living life and just exist and quit listening to any tempo.  Others are just on the go all the time and feel exhausted.  The tempo of their lives goes faster than their energy.  Does any of these examples describe where you currently are in life?

You may allow society, schedules, work, the pressure, and expectations of others to set your tempo and pace for life.  And right now, you feel exhausted because of it.  May I suggest we slow down for a moment and take a breath and check our focus.  Who is leading the tempo of your life?  Where is God’s Spirit? I believe God has created a tempo for how life should be lived.

My own life has felt out of tempo recently, and I am trying to adjust it.  It feels like the familiar song of my life needs to change the speed.  As we change seasons of life because of loss, change, age, or location, we need to re-evaluate how we spend our time and energy.  I am praying and asking God – “How do you want me to glorify you?”  “How should I spend my time?”  I have always been very active, creative, and involved in the lives of others.  I am always thinking about creating the next seminar, the next talk, write the next book, devotion, or blog, and who needs a visit or card?  The tempo of the music of my soul has always been upbeat and energized with purpose and productivity.  Do I need to keep up this pace?

Grief changed my inner tempo, but I tried to keep the outward expression on an active rhythm.  Now, I am pondering if that really is necessary and fulfilling?  As I sit writing this blog, the sun is shining, the sky is blue, a slight breeze is blowing through my open windows, the birds are singing their God-given melody, and the sound of traffic is whizzing by in the distance though I cannot see it.  The traffic reminds me of the constant pace of life and trying to accomplish what I think the world expects of me.  The sights and sounds of nature remind me of the peaceful, gentleness of God’s pace of life.  Just to sit in the tempo and rhythm of what God created reminds me of what God desires.  God wants me to live the tempo of a God-breathed life.  What a peace that brings and a quietness to my soul. 

The world demands, expects, requires, and is fast and loud and pulls the life out of us to the point of exhaustion, fear, and anxiety.  God whispers, woos, loves, and breathes life into us.  So who or what determines the tempo of your life?  Why is it so hard to choose God’s tempo?

I am understanding more and more that the Holy Spirit – the Spirit of God – which is within me desires to set the tempo and rhythm of my life if I will surrender and release the control to His indwelling Spirit.  When I breathe in the Spirit and release my control and the control of the world, the calmness of the Spirit fills me, slows me down, and allows me to rest in God’s Presence.  When I do, the tempo of life is determined by God not the pressures and expectations of this world.  I relax and take in God’s beauty and presence.  I begin to experience the joy of living in God’s presence and enjoying what is in front of me.  I release anxiety and worry that I am not doing enough and trust the Holy Spirit to lead and direct my path of life.

Breathe in the Holy Spirit right now.  Follow God’s tempo for your life.  You will be amazed and grateful for the peace and calmness of your spirit.

****************************

Check out my new book – Live Different Moments.  Each chapter has an Annie story.  Annie will guide you in living into life.

My NEW book – Live Different Moments - Available on Amazon -

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

My Books – Living In The Different  and Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper – Available on Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Embrace The Different

“But Esau ran to meet Jacob and embraced him; he threw his arms around his neck and kissed him.  And they wept.”         Genesis 33:4 (NIV)

Recently, I was blessed with several huge hugs from my sweet six-year-old nephew, Wyatt.  He hugged me so tight that I fell over with joy holding him in my arms.  I squeezed him tight and laughed with him, and he kept hugging me.  It was a gift to hold my dear nephew and see his smile and his eyes light up in recognition of his aunt.  He wanted more hugs, and I embraced him in love.

 To embrace someone is to welcome them with open arms, to hold, to hug, and to accept completely.  It is easy to embrace a child who is eager to be held and loved.  It feels so natural and fills you with gratefulness and joy.  I cherish these moments.  We embrace those we love, and we open wide our hearts to those who are dear to us.

How do you embrace change when life is different from what you expected or hoped?  To embrace change means you open yourself up to going a different path and you accept change as a natural part of your life.  So, do you embrace change, or do you try to stay in the familiar and comfortable fighting against anything different?  For example, can you rearrange a room, move furniture, and reduce the items in the room without anxiousness or dread?  If this is difficult for you, you may be a person who enjoys life staying the same and not deviating from the norm.  Embrace this for now, but know life is guaranteed to change at some point.

To embrace is an acceptance of the situation or the person.  To embrace the different is to accept the completion of life as it was in the past.  You embrace the memories.  You embrace the love that remains in your heart.  You embrace with thanksgiving the privilege of sharing life together.  You release yourself to live into the present.

Sometimes life feels like you are hugging a porcupine – it hurts.  Life has pain and heartache, but can you embrace it as part of life?  You may be angry at life and your current situation, and you struggle with acceptance.  You may not be angry at God, but at where life has taken you.  To embrace the pains and hurts of life just means you take in the trials as part of life, and you can still embrace God knowing He is still with you through the pain.  No matter how much you embrace some people in your life, they still hurt you like a porcupine.  It is learning to hug quickly, accept them for who they are, and then step away.  You acknowledge them but do not live in the hurt and pain they cause.

I am learning to embrace the different in life.  I recognize the need for change especially when I get frustrated, discouraged, and disappointed.  It is usually because I assume something that is no longer true.  I expect people to be supportive and to do what I would do in the situation.  I am learning to embrace people for who they are and to release who I expected them to be.  It allows me not to be controlled by the choices and views of others.

In this different, I am also learning to embrace the Presence of God.  I am more aware that God is with me each moment.  God wants me to embrace the life He has for me and to stay focused on His presence. God is always aware of me and waiting to embrace me with His love and grace.  I am learning to live in God’s tempo of life not mine and embrace the present moment.

Life is different.  Embrace the change and seek to find the joy in moments. 

********************

Check out my new book – Live Different Moments.  Each chapter has an Annie story.  Annie will guide you in living into life.

My NEW book – Live Different Moments - Available on Amazon -

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

My Books – Living In The Different  and Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper – Available on Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Tribute to a Gentle and Humble Man

“Humble yourself before the Lord and he will exalt you.”  James 4:10

I received the phone call that my brother-in-law, Don, entered Heaven.  Don was the oldest brother of my husband, Dave.  He was four years older than Dave, and even as a young boy, Dave always looked up to his older brother.  Early in his life Don made a commitment to follow Jesus as His Savior and Lord. He lived his life for Jesus and faithfully served him all his life.  Now Don is with Jesus in Heaven.  We celebrate that he is free from the pain and sorrows of this world and is reunited with all his family in Heaven.  We are sad for our loss, but we rejoice in Heaven’s gain and Don’s new life in Heaven.

Years ago, when I wrote the book – Glimpses of God – I wrote a story about Don being the “Greatest Man I Had Ever Known.”   I would like to share some of this story with you – paraphrased with additions.

Don had many great achievements in his life.  He had a wonderful marriage to Alice and was blessed with two daughters and many grandchildren.  Don graduated from the United States Naval Academy in Annapolis.  He earned his wings as a Naval aviator, became a surgeon, served tours of duty in Vietnam as a surgeon, was Captain of the USS Mercy providing humanitarian aid to needy countries, and achieved the rank of Rear Admiral in the Navy.  He taught surgery and provided care to many military families.

Through all these achievements, Don daily read his Bible and lived out his faith daily in his work and home.  Don was always available by letter, phone or in person during the joys and sorrows of life.  Tears were not foreign to his cheeks.  They were tears of strength, support, and a deep love for those he comforted.  Many people achieve great things, but Don’s greatest achievement was his unselfish giving of his Christian love.

As a doctor, the term “bedside manner” has been given a positive step forward as he shared his love and compassion with his patients as if each were the most important person in the world.  And at that moment the patient was the most important to Don.

My first encounter with Don was through a phone call.  Before Dave and I were married, Don called me to send his love and congratulations.  He talked with me as if he had known me forever and sent his love and prayers.  His spirit flowed across the phone, and I already loved him as a brother before I met him.  Through the years, I had many conversations and visits with Don.  We always shared our love for Jesus and the Scriptures.  I treasure the times he interacted with my parents and how he treated them with love and respect.

Over the years my love and respect continued to grow for Don.  As I learned more about all his accomplishments, achievements, and travels, though he was very shy and humble to share them with you, I was in awe of all he had done with his life.  (Google – Admiral Donald D. Sturtz and you will find his achievements).  But what makes him the “greatest man I have ever known” is his genuineness, his gentle spirit, his love, and compassion.  I have never known anyone with such deep, gentle, and outward compassion. When you were with Don, you became the focal point of all his gentle spirit and attention.  Don made you feel at ease and that you were the most special person in that moment.  He lived his faith daily in all that he did in his work and in his home, naturally and without reservation sharing his love for Jesus and his own need to depend upon Jesus.  When it came to looking on the positive side of life, Don walked the straight and narrow path, and he was willing to take a stand for what was wrong.

I could describe in detail all the big and little things Don did throughout his life which would be very uplifting, but being the humble man Don was, he would not want me to do it.  But what I desire to convey in all of this is that being great is not based on human achievements or standards.  Being great and humble is what we do for God and for others gently and quietly without calling attention to ourselves.  It is humbling ourselves before our Lord.

I am grateful that Donald D. Sturtz was my brother-in-law, my friend in Jesus, and the most gentle, humble, and great man I have known.  I give thanks that he was in my life and was an example to learn from and grow in faith together.  I give thanks that he loved me and that I loved him.  I give thanks that he is now in Heaven free from the limitations of his earthly body.    I will miss our phone calls.  I am sad that he is not on earth, but his love and spirit remain in all the hearts that he has touched.  He is part of my foundation, and I am forever grateful for his life and love. 

Fly High, Don!

********************

My NEW book – Live Different Moments - Available on Amazon -

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

My Books – Living In The Different  and Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper – Available on Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Step In Step Out

“The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and for evermore.”  Psalm 121:8

I watched two little boys – my nephews – go into the house and soon they were outside playing.  Then inside for a snack.  Then outside into the tent.  Then inside on their device.  Then outside to make tie dyed T-shirts.  Then inside.  They were in and out of the house throughout the afternoon.  In and out of activities.  In and out of conversations.  In and out.

There are numerous situations in life where you step in and step out.  You step into your work environment and responsibilities, and you step out at the end of the work time.  You step into an organization, a group, an event.  You participate and hopefully enjoy the experience.  Then you step out.

During grief and change, you may step out of life and the routine and expectations of others for a period of time.  Life is different, and you need time to adjust to the different and re-evaluate who you are now and your new purpose and focus for life.  Sometimes it becomes difficult to find your place to step back into life.  Life has changed.  You have changed, but not everyone else has changed.

Sometimes as you adjust to changes, you need to learn a new way of interacting in relationships, living life, and experiencing the life God has for you.  First, interacting in relationships.  It is learning when to step in and when to step out.  Let me explain.  I have learned through experience, mistakes, and maturity, it is not my responsibility to fix everyone and every situation nor was I born into this world to please everyone.  When I truly seek God’s purpose, will, and guidance, I can step into a situation or into a person’s life, be with them in the moment and even enjoy the time together.  But then I can also step out.  I listen to God’s Spirit to guide me in what I am to do and share, but it is not my responsibility to make everything better, good, or right in their lives.  Stepping out is setting healthy boundaries and releasing the situation to God.

How do you step into life – this different life?  You do it slowly and in moments.  For instance, you step into an event.  It could be a family gathering, a Bible Study, a social gathering, or a concert.  You remind yourself that you are going to focus on just this one event.  You go, and be present in the moment as much as possible, and when you have experienced it, you step out.  You give yourself permission to step out and renew yourself in the quiet moments alone.  You give yourself grace and also recognition that you accomplished the event.

When you break life down into events, adventures, and moments, you can step into them.  Enjoy the moment and then step out to rest and renew yourself.  It does not need to raise your anxiety because you are separating each event and not putting them all together as something that is continuous.  You are just focused on one moment and event at a time.  You take steps in and then permission to step out.

How do you step into the life God has for you?  Again, for most people it is one step at a time.  You step into recognizing God is with you all the time.  God loves you.  You are God’s child.  God gives you His love and grace one moment at a time.  You step out of the negative view, the guilt, and shame of the past.  You step out of the past.  It is your foundation of who you are but you cannot step backward.  Stepping into life is always forward.

To step out is also stepping out of the control of others and the world.  It is stepping into dependency on God and the freedom God gives to you.  The freedom of living fully in the moment.  The freedom from worry and anxiety of the future because you are focused on living fully now.  Your eyes are on the present moment.  When you take a step, you need to pay attention to what is in front of you.

God is with you in each step you take.  Take the hand of Jesus when you take a step in and when you take a step out.  He is present.

My NEW book – Live Different Moments - Available on Amazon -

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

My Books – Living In The Different  and Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper – Available on Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Reflecting On The Different

“The greatest love a person can show is to die for his friends.”   John 15:13

April 7th marked the one-year anniversary of my companion dog, Annie’s death.  It has been a year since I walked her, looked into her eyes, felt the warmth of her body as a petted her, gave her cucumber treats.  I miss her companionship, her presence, and my relationship with her.  It does not seem possible she has been gone for an entire year.

Annie and I had a very unique relationship.  Our bond was formed out of the sadness of grief.  After my husband, Dave, died, it was just Annie and me.  We needed each other to survive each day.  Annie got me out of bed and kept me in a routine.  I gave Annie a new purpose to her life by becoming my therapy dog.  She loved the attention and because of her own loss of her master, she easily sensed the emotions of others.

Annie and I understood each other, and words were not needed.  The language of our senses was enough.  I was Annie’s person.  Our hearts were connected.  The emotional support Annie gave me was indescribable.  In the past year, I have recognized the emptiness within me.  I had taken for granted that calmness Annie brought to my spirit.  It was as if God’s presence came to me through Annie at times.  Annie was a distraction from the tasks, the minutiae, and the mundane of life.  She made me smile and focus on enjoying the moment and not take myself so seriously.  She helped me not to think too far into the future of what I needed to do.  Annie kept me grounded in the moment.

When the world became too much, Annie got me out of the mess in my head.  When I was focused too much on work, writing, and the details of daily life, Annie always came to me for attention or to go outside.  Now I see how she was helping me get my focus off the things that do not really matter and enjoy what was around me and enjoy time with her.  She wanted the attention I was giving to all the paperwork.  She taught me the importance of relationships.  Annie helped me re-focus my priorities.

Annie loved being outside.  She loved to walk, explore all the smells she found, and just lay in the sunshine.  Annie and I walked and ran thousands of miles over her eleven years of life.  I think of her each time I run and walk.  She kept me and continues to keep me grounded in the beauty of God’s creation.

Annie made a difference in my life.  Again, my life is different without her.  As we each reflect and remember those who have impacted our lives, yes, we miss them and would prefer life with them.  But we are thankful for the time we had with them.  We remember and give thanks that God blessed us with time and are grateful for their love and influence.

I am thankful God blessed me with Annie even though the pain of loss has been intense.  I would still go through it all again just to have had Annie in my life.  I am always asked if I will get another dog.  I always respond, “Never.”  I do not miss having a dog.  I just miss Annie.

When we experience loss, no other person or no other animal, object or experience will replace that relationship.  It was unique and special.  You will have different relationships, but it is not a replacement.  Different allows for directional changes and new adventures.

I am thankful for the relationship God gave me with Annie.  Annie made a difference in my life and in the lives of those she shared her life and joy.  Annie has taught me to focus on the moment in front of me.  My life was enriched because of Annie.  Each of our lives has been forever enriched and enhanced because of our loved ones.  We are better people because of their love and influence.  We can give thanks and cherish the memories.

Check out my new book – Live Different Moments.  Each chapter has an Annie story.  Annie will guide you in living into life.

My NEW book – Live Different Moments - Available on Amazon -

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

My Books – Living In The Different  and Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper – Available on Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Easter Hope

“May the God of hope fill you will all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”  Romans 15:13

“I hope you feel better.”  “I hope to see you soon.”  “I hope everyone has a good time.”  “I hope life settles down for you.”  We hope for life to get better, sickness to end, healing to happen, and life to be what we desire.  When we define hope, it is usually on our own terms and conditions.  We have a desire for a certain thing to happen.  It is a wish for a positive outcome.  This hope is more of a preference to get what we want and be able to determine or control the end result.  But is that really hope?

Easter brings a different meaning to hope.  It is a hope that this world is not all there is.  A hope that sin, sickness, and death is not in control.  Jesus died for our sins.  We are forgiven and given grace.  We no longer need to hope that we will be forgiven because grace is freely given.  We are cleansed from sin because of Jesus’ death on the cross.  It is now a fact.  It is true.  Jesus died for the sins of everyone and that includes you.  The hope is in what we cannot see but know is true.  We have the hope of eternal life with Jesus in Heaven.

When our loved one dies, we have the hope that they are with Jesus in Heaven.  They take their last breath on earth and their next breath is in Heaven.  This gives us comfort for all who believe.  My brother-in-law, Don, is on this journey home to Heaven.  It gives me comfort to know he is looking forward to being with Jesus.  I live in the hope and assurance that he will be healed and will live in Heaven with Jesus and all those who have gone before him.

Easter brings hope not just for the future in Heaven but hope for our daily lives.  Hope helps me see through the eyes of my heart the things that are not yet visible.  That is, hope is not so much about what I can see as believing with my heart that what has been promised will happen.  We do not hope for what is obvious or what we actually can see.  Easter hope is about trusting that God is with you even when you do not feel or see His presence.  It is believing God is with you even in the struggles and sorrows of life.  Jesus promised the disciples and us that He would always be with us.  He gave His Spirit, the Holy Spirit, to be constantly present within us.

In the lowest times of life, when it is difficult to believe life will be tolerable, livable, or healthy, it is when “a hope of a hope” becomes the next step.  It is knowing that someday you will have hope and trust, but right now you do not see it nor feel it.  It is just holding on to that promise that even when you cannot see the possibility of life being different and you being content, it is clinging to the belief God is still with you in the uncertainty and chaos. 

Easter hope also assures that the past is forgiven.  You do not need to live in the guilt, shame, sin, and pain of the past.  Jesus’ death brought complete forgiveness and closure to the past failures.  Easter hope tells you not to keep beating yourself up for what you have done in the past.  It is forgiven so live forgiven.  You cannot change or alter the past in any way.  Release it to God and live in the hope and grace of Easter.

Easter hope also assures that you can live forward into each day.  It may not be what you expected or planned, but it is what you have.  Hope says you can make the best of each day knowing you are not alone.  You can be grateful and focus on the good around you.  God is with you in each today.  Jesus said, “I am.”  “I am with you no matter what has happened or will happen.”

You do not face anything alone.  Easter reminds us Jesus is alive.  Every fear and anxiety you have is conquered by Easter hope.  Jesus is with you in each feeling, fear, emotion, and worry.  Trust Him.  It sounds so simple, but it is not easy releasing an old habit or pattern of living.  All you have is today.  You can choose to be miserable without hope and live in fear and worry, or you can choose to live in hope and trust Jesus each step.  It does not mean you forget what has happened.  It just means you accept what you cannot change, nor did you choose it.  But you can choose to find hope in the possibilities of today.  Live in this Easter Hope!

My NEW book – Live Different Moments - Available on Amazon -

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

My Books – Living In The Different  and Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper – Available on Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Abide In Memories

“Those who abide in me and I in them bear much fruit, because apart from me you can do nothing.”  John 15:5

I attended the funeral of my cousin, Tom this past week.  His mom and my dad were siblings.  I grew up with his family being an integral part of my life and my foundation.  I remember holidays and family picnics together.  I remember the laughter and fun we shared together.  I remember the cool toys they had at their house.  I remember the love my aunt and uncle gave to me.  As I listened to the scripture and the hymns and the spoken word, I sat in the memories, and it felt like a warm blanket around me.

The Scripture from the Gospel of John, chapter 15 was read in the service.  The word “abide” caught my attention.  It described how I was feeling – I was abiding in the memories of years gone by, but memories that were so very present in that moment.  I could see, feel, smell, and hear those memories as I sat in the church and worshiped God in the celebration of my cousin’s life.

To abide means to dwell, to remain, to be present, to remain stable or fixed in place.  I believe memories abide in our hearts and minds.  God has blessed us with the ability to remember.  It is allowing the bad to fade and the good to remain.

At the meal after the service, I sat with Tom’s brother, my cousin, Dan, and the memories came to the forefront of my thoughts.  My brothers were around me as well as the children of my cousin.  Our memories were first of our grandmother who was the connection between our families.  Grandma was the foundation of our family and our faith.  She was the one with whom we each had a relationship.  We told stories from our childhood about Grandma and how at Easter all fourteen of us ate at the dinner table in her small house and wondered how we all fit.  And after dinner searching for the hidden peanuts in the shell that Grandma had spent hours hiding the day before.  We laughed and shared and for those moments we remained or abided in the past memories.  They are memories that are a part of who we were and remain vital to who are.  Nobody can take them away or even change them.

It is good to abide again in these memories.  I am so grateful for the gift of my Grandma and her influence on my life and my faith.  She was a very proper lady, too, who taught me manners, respect for your elders, and how to play checkers.  The memories do not bring a sadness but a joy that I had these experiences and relationships.

Yes, there is sadness when someone dies.  We rejoice in their life and influence and that they are no longer in pain or suffering.  We give thanks to God that they have been welcomed into Heaven with Jesus.  Our sadness is because we miss them and our life changes because they are not physically sharing life with us.  When we choose to abide in the memories, we keep our loved one alive in our hearts and our foundation is stronger because of their love, life, and influence.

We are called to abide not just in our earthly relationships and memories, but we are to abide in Jesus.  Jesus calls us to abide in Him.  When we abide or stand firm in Jesus we bear fruit.  That is, we do exactly what my Grandma did – she lived her life in Jesus’ presence and shared her love and faith with her family who then shared it with the next generation.

We also abide by remaining present with Jesus and living in the present with Him.  Jesus is our stable and firm place in the storms of life.  When we abide, Jesus holds us, protects us, and helps us to weather the storms.  We are never alone.  Abide in the memories that are your foundation.  Abide in Jesus because He will walk you through the present.  Enjoy some laughter with a cousin, too!

My NEW book – Live Different Moments - Available on Amazon -

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

My Books – Living In The Different  and Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper – Available on Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Possibilities

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”  Romans 12:18

She lives in an “all or nothing” thought pattern.  If what she planned to do falls apart, then she does nothing.  Her brain does not think about any other way or options.  He can only focus on one relationship in his life.  His priority is to one person, and he does not know how to relate or interact with multiple people at a time.  He compartmentalizes his life and does not integrate himself and his beliefs into all aspects of his life.  While it is good to maintain focus, there are other possibilities and options when life does not go as planned. You need not just quit. 

When you live in an all or nothing world, that is, your thinking sees only one way of living, you can become lonely, anxious, and even depressed.  Life did not turn out the way you had envisioned and hoped so you stay stuck in not knowing what to do.  It is like living on a merry-go-round.  You go around and around doing the same thing but making no progress but still feeling empty.  Nothing changes but life around you appears to be moving on.

Then you make a “to do list” thinking it will motivate you to accomplish the tasks of life and move forward.  When you do not complete the list, you feel like a failure and just quit trying.  It is that all or nothing mentality.  Oh, you may have the desire, but you are not motivated.

We want to live into this different life.  We would prefer the old life but that is not reality.  No matter how much we wish for or even try to recreate and not change anything, it is never the same.  We cannot go back.  That season of life is complete.  We take the memories, the love, and incorporate all we have learned into our foundation.

Our focus needs to change from an “all or nothing” to “what are my options?” mentality.  Our “to do list” can change to “Today’s Possibilities.”  Life is different so how we approach life needs to be different too.  All the planning and preparation to create a life just like we desire will not make the life happen because of other people’s decisions and the traumas, calamities, and pain of life.  We try to protect and prepare so that we can prevent but it never works.  So, when life does not turn out as you had hoped or planned, what do you do?  Give up?  Just exist? See no other way of living?  Stay stuck?  None of this works because there is no life in these ways.

I get frustrated when life does not go as I had hoped.  People frustrate me when they do not follow through, but I am learning to accept people for who they are and not base my life on what other people do or do not do.  I am learning to not live in these expectations and not assume other people have the same values and views.  I am learning to say, “That’s who they are.  God, change my focus to who I am in You and to the possibilities You have for me.”

Possibilities are what is more likely to happen.  It is when we are willing to change our narrow focus from what will never happen again to the possible directions that open now before us.  It is giving yourself permission to let go of what you had or wanted to have and accept the reality of the new and different.  And within this reality, you have numerous choices and options.  Sometimes we need to experience all these options.  Just because you try an option does not mean you have to keep doing it.  You can say, “I tried it.”  “Not for me, but glad I had the experience.”

When you are afraid or anxious, it is also creating possibilities that will help you relax, defuse, and release these feelings.  It is recognizing you do not need to stay in these heightened feelings or deny them or escape from them.  It is creating healthy possibilities or options to release them and go in a different direction.  Possibilities are centered on our surrender to God.  It is trusting God to open our eyes to a new way of viewing our circumstances.  It is being grateful for the life that God has before us.

Be open to the possibilities of life that are right in front of you.

My NEW book – Live Different Moments - Available on Amazon -

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

My Books – Living In The Different  and Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper – Available on Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Standing Still

“Now then, stand still and see this great thing the Lord is about to do before your eyes.” 

I Samuel 12:16

I stood beside the water.  It was still and calm.  The water looked like a crystal sea covered with glass.  The light of the sun reflected on the water.  It was peaceful and still.  I looked up and saw the white fluffy clouds lingering on this peaceful day.  I stood still and praised God for the beauty of the day.  In our fast-paced world, we rarely linger and stand still to enjoy the moments of beauty around us and quiet our thoughts just to be present.

Then, I experienced a different way of standing still this week.  I stood still with my friend, John, in our conversation.  He has entered the stage of life where his processing has declined, and he has difficulty expressing in words the thoughts in his head.  He cannot recall the word he wants to use.  He has a thought to share but cannot articulate it.  Instead of pushing forward and trying to anticipate what he wanted to say, I just stood still and waited.  At times I would help but I stayed within the boundaries of our current conversation.  I stood still and did not take away his dignity.

I also stood still in the pain and hurt of others this week.  I listened.  I heard the pain and hurt.  I stood still in their emotions and uncertainty of life.  I stood still with my friend who knew it was time to move and accept the next phase of life.  She knew it was necessary, but she felt the burden of the decision.  I stood still and listened.  I heard her fears and the reality of life that she had to face.  Life was changing and it could not be stopped or even slowed down.  It was time.

I stood still in the disease of my nephew.  I listened to the family.  I heard the emotions and the questions.  I could not fix anything nor were there any words that would bring healing from the pain and certainty of the future.  I was just present.  We want time to stand still for a little while so we can catch our breath and enjoy the moments.  We do not want our children to grow up so fast that we miss these moments.

It is being brave enough to allow yourself to feel the emotions that you are standing still in. Stand still long enough to feel life.  Oh, we try to escape as quickly as possible when the pain and hurt of the world begins to consume us.  It is difficult to face the realities of life.  It is not going there alone.  I take the hand of Jesus when I stand still in the feelings and thoughts of life.  I am not alone, but it can feel lonely.

Sometimes, we want to fix life for ourselves and others.  We keep busy and believe the more we do and accomplish, the situation will become easier or better.  When we pause and rest, anxiety and fear begin to take control.  We may even feel some panic that we must keep working to fix the situation.  Some situations are not fixable by human hands.

This is when we need to surrender to God.  I am not talking about giving up but about trusting God and standing still in God’s presence and allowing God to work and fight for us.  It is trusting in what we cannot see.  It is having faith that God sees the big picture and is working in the situation. 

When I stand still in God’s presence, I am waiting for God.  I am not waiting for God to do what I want, but I am waiting to hear God speak to my heart.  I am standing still until my heart is connected to God and my desire is what God desires.  Standing still slows me down.  My thoughts need to stop living in and planning for the future.  I need to be still in God’s presence that is with me.   I need to stand still and breath in God’s Spirit.  I need to stand in worship and praise that God loves me and cares about every detail of my life.  I need to stand still and let God work.  Stand still.

My NEW book – Live Different Moments - Available on Amazon -

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

My Books – Living In The Different  and Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper – Available on Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Surface Deep

“And I pray that you and all God’s holy people will have the power to understand the greatness of Christ’s love – how wide and how long and how high and how deep that love is.” 

Ephesians 3:18 NCV

“Be like a duck. Calm on the surface but always paddling like the dickens underneath.”  I have heard this old saying in many different versions.  The essence of its meaning is you outwardly show that you are calm and have everything under control but what is happening underneath is that you are working as hard as you can to keep going.  It is the façade that you express.  Your outward appearance is maintained to hide the struggle within.

We live like this in our grief and in the struggles of life.  We fear falling apart and being judged by others as weak.  Therefore, we pretend and keep it under the surface.  When asked how you are doing, you probably respond automatically, “I’m fine.”  We are afraid to admit that we are not fine.  We are falling apart.  We are afraid.  We are empty.  Faith seems impossible. The depth of our being feels the darkness of life.  So, we avoid the deep and all the feelings and emotions that are below the surface, and we exist on the surface of life.  Fear is in control.

Surface living is filled with fear and anxiety.  It is just existing in what you think you can handle and control on your own.  It is relying on your own strength and wisdom.  This creates exhaustion.  The focus is on the expectations of others.  Social media guides decision-making.  Surface living allows media and entertainment to guide your thoughts and values.  Your conversations revolve around people you do not personally have a relationship with, but you watch them in a box.  When others are in control, your emotions and anxiety will be all over the place.  You may be trying to please others who change their minds and change the rules on a whim.  It becomes easier to live in your own little world – go to work or school and then return to the security of your space and escape with entertainment.

You function on the surface of life.  The surface can also be a scary place.  It may feel like nothing will work out.  You are in a heightened state of anxiety trying to maintain control and appear all is well.  You have nothing to ground you and hold onto as you float on the surface.

It is time to break up the surface and dig deeper.  Take the risk and free yourself from the familiar and comfortable.  It is not healthy, but you have done it for so long.  Could there be more to life than just going through the motions of existing without purpose and meaning to your days?

Yes, the depth of life begins with Jesus.  I am not talking about going to Church, the spiritual disciplines, or abiding by God’s Commandments – all which are good and important.  I am referring to living in the constant presence of God.  The depth of life is found in surrender and dependence on God.  That no matter what happens around me which is the surface of life, God is with me. God will not always take me out of the pain or storm, but God will walk with me through it.  When I mess up, God’s love is deeper than my sin and mess ups.  I live forgiven and forward.

After loss, change, and a new season of life, I see life differently.  The minutiae of the world or what society or others deem as important, is not where I desire to place my priorities.  I want to go deeper and find purpose and meaning in each day and just enjoy the moments of life without the anxiety and fear of not pleasing others.  I want to live so close to Jesus that I am content in every situation and know I am living in God’s presence and that is most important.  I am living in the depth of life.  God is in the depths and the heights.  There is no place I can go or be that God is not there.  That is trust.  That is faith.

Living on the surface is always focused on this fallen world which will always disappoint and not meet your expectations.  The surface pulls you away from even desiring the depths of life.  Living deeper is believing there is more – an eternity more.  It is faith in what you cannot see.  But faith that will bring you peace, hope, and joy.

The Sweet Smell of Peace

“You, Lord, give true peace to those who depend on you, because they trust you.”  Isaiah 26:3

When I was a child, I enjoyed the smell of Spring and Summer.  Spring had the smell of the trees and flowers beginning to bloom, the smell of the soil from planting the crops, and the smell of the fresh crisp, clean air.  Summer had the smell of fresh hay, the scent of vegetables from the garden, and yes, even the smell of cleaning out the barn from the cows and sheep.  But there was one smell that is still indescribable to me.  It is the smell of the sunshine on my face and the sense of being totally in the moment and breathing in the peace of that instant.  It is a smell that I still can take within me and feel a sense of complete peace.  The smell of trust without obligations or tasks to complete.  It is a complete freedom that one breathes deep within.

I had a moment recently that took me back to my childhood.  It was not so much a memory as it was a feeling.  I caught a smell – a scent that reminded me of standing in the front lawn of my childhood home and not having a single care in the world and just breathing in the moment.  I felt such peace, and nothing bothered me nor was there anything more important than just enjoying this precious moment.  The sun was shining, and it was as if God was all around me.  That moment comes back to me quite often.

I was sitting at the table in my home this past week, and I felt that complete peace.  I truly felt I was focused only on the present moment with no worries and no thoughts of what I needed to do.  I was enjoying a moment of complete peace in God’s presence.  It was amazing and powerful and humbling.  “Wow, this must be what Heaven is like, “I thought.  Then the day and the schedule and the tasks began to creep into my thoughts and take away this amazing peace and contentment.

We have all sought peace, but have we truly experienced it or even allowed God to bless us with the gift of peace?  Peace only comes with surrender and trust.  Peace comes when we live in the moment and trust God with each step.  Peace does not mean a trouble-free life.  We live in a broken and sinful world which robs us of outward peace and even trust.

When our world is shaken because of loss, our trust is broken.  We trusted God to take care of us and our loved ones in a specific way – not to allow hurt or pain.  We trust God to protect us because we believe and follow Him.  But we tend to define what protection needs to look like.  We give God boundaries and limitations.  We want the loss and pain to rain down on those who do evil and do not follow Jesus.  But God does not see life the way we see it.  Life is not fair.

I see the unfairness lived out in my sweet nephew.  There is no reason for him to go through the struggle of his disease, but through him I see pure faith, joy, and perfection.  I see an angel, and God has placed protective angels all around him.  When God decides someday to release him from this world, we will have an intense sadness but also a quiet peace knowing he is in the arms of Jesus.  He will be whole and at peace.

Death has its own smell.  A smell that is distinguishable but indescribable.  It separates, brings fear and dread.  It cannot be covered up, mixed, or reversed.  But it can be a sweet release from this world of suffering and pain.  It is the smell of leaving one world and going into eternal rest and peace.

I want to breathe in God’s peace and take in the smell of peace. My desire is to experience His abiding presence today not just in Heaven someday.  It is being totally in the moment.  The smell of being totally in the present moment is a clean, crisp smell that goes deep within and brings a sigh of release and freedom.  There is nothing in this world that can bring this peace but Jesus.

So what does peace smell like to you? 

My NEW book – Live Different Moments - Available on Amazon -

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

My Books – Living In The Different  and Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper – Available on Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Dread to Determined

“But there they are, overwhelmed with dread, for God is present in the company of the righteous.”  Psalm 14:5 NIV

She awoke and felt a heaviness in her chest.  She did not want to get out of bed and face the day.  She dreaded what she would have to face that day.  How would she make it through?  She wished the day was already completed, and she was back in bed.  I heard her feelings of dread.

Dread is to anticipate with great apprehension or fear.  It is another way of describing worry or anxiety.  It is thinking so much about the future and what may happen that you lose yourself in the present.  You focus only on the negative and the feelings of doom and gloom, and you have the desire to hide or escape from life.

We may dread doing the laundry, the dishes, or cleaning the garage or basement because we have let everything pile up and now it seems too overwhelming.  We do not know where to begin.  This is where the “one and done” concept comes into play.  We complete one task or one part of it at a time.  We do not fixate on the big picture, but just on one small task at a time.

We may dread seeing someone knowing the person will ask too many questions or that you will have to deal with the person’s attitude or anger.  We have given the person control of how we interact, and the person controls our life and the situation.  Dread enters because of the lack of boundaries or the acceptance that that is just who the person is.  Dread is accentuated by the absorbing of the other person and thinking we need to fix life for the person.

We dread the day because it is not what we want it to be.  We may want life to go back to the way it used to be so that everything can be normal again.  Or we have made decisions that we now regret and dread facing our current reality and the consequences.  We may dread doing what we made a commitment to and now wish we did not say “yes.”

We dread the bathroom scales, the event, the conversation, the consequences, and I could go on and on with examples, but I think you get the pictures.  Dread is anticipating negativity and focusing on how we will accomplish it all with only our power, strength, and ability.  It is future focusing and trying to figure out either how to avoid the situation or orchestrate what will happen.  Dread is just exhausting.

So, how do you overcome and deal with dread?  First, it is telling yourself and telling dread it is not in control of your thoughts and life.  When you awake in the morning, talk first to God not to your anxious thoughts.  Remind yourself and God that today you are doing everything with God.  “God, we got this, mostly You.”  Then take it one step at time.  Do not get ahead of God.  Keep yourself in the present moment.

I am determined to slow myself down to God’s pace not my anxious thoughts that are running out of control.  I am determined to let go and let God have control of each thought and each situation.  I am determined to not allow dread and negativity cloud my days.  That is, I have decided to give control to God and fix my eyes on Jesus not the swirling uncertainty of my emotions and thoughts.  I am determined that God is the center of my life, but I am aware that I will mess up at times, but I will not give up.  I will resolve to refocus when I get off track, and I will keep reminding myself to stay in the present and that in each decision and thought God is present.  I will hold God’s hand.

I am determined to be present with Jesus.  Dread, you are not my friend.  Jesus is my friend.

My NEW book – Live Different Moments - Available on Amazon -

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

My Books – Living In The Different  and Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper – Available on Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/