Pondering My Thoughts

“The Lord says, “My thoughts are not like your thoughts.  Your ways are not like my ways.  Just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.”  Isaiah 55:8-9

I have been doing a lot of pondering lately.  Pondering to me is resting in my thoughts.  It is staying in my thoughts and waiting for God in these thoughts.  I am thinking about my life, my future, my relationships, and reflecting on my past and those who have influenced my journey.  Some of this pondering has come because of the time of year.  Fall brings these thoughts.  Some of the pondering comes from the changes around me and the need to let go of relationships.  Some of these thoughts come because of age.

As I sit outside today writing these words, the wind is blowing.  I cannot tell where it is coming from or where it is going, but it touches me and brings a refreshment to my soul.  I do not know where my thoughts will take me.  Sometimes, I need to stop them from going down a trail that is not healthy.  Sometimes I need to rest in the thoughts before speaking them or acting upon them.  But in all my thoughts, I am being reminded that God’s Spirit flows through them.

Our thoughts race all over the place.  We think about the future, and it brings thoughts of what will it look like? The feelings of fear sneak into our thoughts. We think about the past, and regret and guilt take over our thought pattern.  We think about today and the list of all that needs to be done plays through our mind.  It can become overwhelming.  Our thoughts seem to race continually through our head and seem to be on the repeat cycle.  They speed up and exhaust us at times.  Many of us go then to the worst-case scenario and image all that could go wrong.  Our thoughts tend to go to the negative first and dwell there for a long time.  This is when anxiety jumps into our thoughts and our thoughts speed up and become jumbled all together.  We cannot distinguish what is real and what is feared.

Therefore, I have begun pondering my thoughts.  It slows me down to rest in one thought at a time.  I think about all the options and possibilities.  I think about how it would play out and who would be affected.  Then I rest my thoughts in the One who knows my thoughts.  On this grief journey, I have come to accept that I will never know the answers nor will my thoughts always have a visible path.  I have grown into resting in God’s peace.  My pondering has led me to give my thoughts to God who in turn gives me peace.  Peace that I do not need a immediate plan of action but to trust that God knows my thoughts and concerns and questions.

I am learning that thoughts are just thoughts.  They are ideas being formulated in our minds.  They come from experiences, dreams, decisions that need to be made, and just random things we see and hear.  Thoughts mingle together in our brains.  Thoughts just like feelings are neither good nor bad on their own.  It is what we do with them that brings a judgment.  I am beginning to give my thoughts to God.  I think for awhile and then realize, I do not know where to go next.  God’s thoughts are greater and higher than mine, so I just ponder until I do not know where to go with the thought and I give it to God so our thoughts can mingle together.

I may feel it is time to act on my thoughts.  I may even feel it is God’s will and direction for my life, but I need to wait for God to move.  I need to wait on God’s ways and thoughts.  So how do I know?  I rest my thoughts with God.  I wait for God.  This never feels natural because we desire to know the next steps and what life will be like.  Faith is believing God is already there in the next step and will take our hand when it is time to take the step.

So let us do some pondering.  Let’s ponder our thoughts and wait for God to direct our thoughts.  Let’s ponder together.