Heavenly Relationship

“After I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me so that you may be where I am.”                        John 14:3

I stopped at the cemetery and left a small stone at Dave’s grave.  I have visited his grave frequently over the past five years and have brought a stone most visits.  Many of the stones are around his grave marker while a few have disappeared from being run over by the mower.  In the past, my visits have been a time of quiet reflection and conversation with God and Dave.  This visit was different.  The cemetery has become a place of death not a place of connection.  This transition has occurred as I have focused more on Dave living in Heaven, not his presence on earth.

Heaven continues to be on my mind as more and more friends and family take the journey to their eternal home.  Heaven.  We read about it in the Bible and sing about it in songs.  We have heard about “the streets of gold” and the “crystal sea.”  But because of a recent conversation with a client, my focus on Heaven is not what it looks like or where it is, but on who is in Heaven and the relationships with those who are living in Heaven.

I recently visited with a family whose wife and mother is in hospice care and is continuing her journey of leaving this earth.  Her body is slowly dying.  It has been a long, process of letting go.  I had a conversation with one of her daughters who does not want to talk about the dying and the decline of her mother.  She has accepted that her mother is dying but does not like the family constantly talking about death. We talked about her mother’s life and all the things her mother did and her memories.  Then, we talked about Heaven and the people her mother will see in Heaven.  It was in those moments, that God’s Spirit spoke to my heart and I realized what this daughter and what all of us in our grief really want. We want our loved one to live.  We know their earthly body is dying, but we want them to be alive.  We struggle with our mind knowing the truth and our heart wanting something different.  We live on earth and then we live in Heaven.  As I talked with this daughter, we talked about focusing on her mom living on earth and then living in Heaven.  Do not focus on the dying, but on the transition from one life to the next.  This brought hope and comfort to this daughter.

My week was flooded with death.  The death of my college professor’s wife, the grief of a 99 year old who is grieving deeply the loss of his wife, my brother’s grief at the death of his wife, the death of Dave’s colleague and friend, and the funeral of my husband’s friend’s wife.  Death is all around and some weeks it is intense and constant.  If my focus is only on the death, the intensity of the grief and loss is overwhelming.  I am trying to focus on the relationship with each person here on earth and also the relationships they now experience in Heaven. 

Everything in life to me comes down to relationships – our relationship with God and our relationship with one another.  All the other things of life are just stuff.  The only thing we take with us when we die is our relationships.  What remains on earth is the memories and love and how our lives were intertwined with our loved one.  We are forever changed because of the relationship.  What we take with us to Heaven is our relationship – our relationship with our Lord and Savior, Jesus.  That is why we get to go to Heaven.  Jesus prepares us a place – not just a mansion but a place in His heart for us to be with Him forever because we gave our heart to Him here on earth.

My focus has changed in my own grief.  I think about my loved ones living in Heaven and all the people who are around my loved one.  The joy of being with Jesus and the joy of welcoming new loved ones into Heaven.  Oh, the joy and conversations and hugs!  This brings a smile to my heart.  Jesus hugs each person who enters Heaven and welcomes them home! No social distancing in Heaven and lots of hugs!