Comfortable Presence

“And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you forever.”  John 14:16

Recently, a widow stated her desire was to have a comfortable presence with her son.  She wanted to establish a relationship with her son that was easy in conversation, and she did not want her son to feel responsible for her.  Her hope was that he would not avoid being with her because of the loss of his dad and not want to deal with the grief and death.

This phrase “Comfortable presence” resonated with me, and I have been pondering its meaning and application for life.  We each have shoes that are more comfortable than other pairs.  We have a chair that feels comfortable.  We go to restaurants that feel more welcoming and comfortable.  We have food that we label as “comfort foods” and eat it when we need something to make us feel better.

Comfortable is to provide ease and relaxation.  It is being free from stress, fear or worry.  It is being restful and content.  It is a familiar feeling.  One’s presence is the state of being somewhere.  When your presence is requested, it means you are invited to show up and be in the moment.  It is a connection.

With whom do you have a comfortable presence?  My mom was always my comfortable presence.  I never felt any judgment or negativity from her.  She was comfortable being who she was and therefore her presence brought a calmness and an assurance that I was loved.  I could talk with my mom and share conversations that went deep into our faith and love for Jesus.  I miss my mom’s comfortable presence.

There are people we meet that we form an immediate connection with and feel at ease sharing life with them.  It is usually a common interest or experience that forms this bond.  Recently, I connected with a new friend over the loss of our dear companion dogs.  We shared our grief and talked about how our dogs were our constant companions and were with us through some struggles of life.  We understood each other.  There was a comfortable presence in our sharing that has led to sharing in other areas of life.

In this different life, it is learning to be comfortable with yourself.  Before you can share life again with someone, it is being at ease with who you are now.  I am learning to be comfortable letting go of the expectations I assume others have of me and my own expectations to measure up to the world.  There is a freedom in releasing these and being comfortable in who God created me to be and to do today.  I am comfortable in letting go, changing directions, and closing a door to a chapter of life.  It is not trying to do the same thing because it was familiar.

Are you comfortable being alone with yourself?  That is, without media to distract you.  It is enjoying your own presence and liking who you are becoming.  When you are accepting of yourself, you have less worry and stress because you give yourself permission to be who God created you to be, and you are not focused on the expectations of others.  You take yourself with you everywhere you go, so learn to like yourself and you will enjoy life and live fully in the present.  It then becomes more comfortable to let go and change and live in God’s comfortable presence.

Yes, God’s comfortable presence is my desire.  This brings rest and contentment.  The world and its pressures and stress fade as I become more aware of God’s constant presence.  It is like being hugged and protected and loved all the time which is what God actually does.  We just are not constantly aware, nor do we step into His presence all the time even though God is always present.

Rest in the comfort of God’s Presence.  Share everything with God.  Be in constant awareness that God is with you.  His presence is within and all around.  Smile in your awareness of God’s Presence.  You are never alone. Abide in God’s Presence.  You do not need to carry the load alone nor figure out the future.  Trust God today.  Rest in the comfort that God loves you, accepts you, forgives you, does not hold anything against you, and wants to hear everything that is in your heart – Everything!  To rest in this comfort is to be at ease that God has you and you just need to be in the moment with God. 

Rest in God’s Comfortable Presence!

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Check out my new book – Live Different Moments.  Each chapter has an Annie story.  Annie will guide you in living into life.

My NEW book – Live Different Moments - Available on Amazon -

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

My Books – Living In The Different  and Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper – Available on Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Waiting To Recover

“I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry.”  Psalm 40:1

As I write this blog, I am sitting in the waiting area of the hospital surgical unit.  I am waiting for the completion of a surgery.  I look around the area and see others waiting on loved ones.  One person is talking on her phone.  One guy is working on his laptop.  Another person is taking a nap I think because his eyes are closed.  Another is talking with a hospital staff member.  I look outside and for the first time this week the sun is shining, and the sky is a brilliant blue.  It looks inviting, but I sit inside waiting.  I am waiting for a completion of surgery and for the surgeon to tell me “All went well.”

I remember sitting in waiting rooms many times with family, church members’ families, and with friends.  We try to focus on something other than the reason we are all here.  Sometimes the waiting is for a routine procedure that is not life threatening and other times the waiting is filled with fear of the outcome.

Our bodies break, have pain, do not always function as we desire, need healing, have diseases, and have parts that need repaired.  That is the reason for surgery.  We wait for our bodies to heal and recover. Everyone who completes surgery goes into a recovery room for a period of time.  It is a time to come out of the anesthesia, control any pain from the procedure, and prepare for the next step.

So, as I wait, I ponder how the waiting, surgery, and recovery relate to life.  To wait is to stay where one is until something else happens.  This is not an easy task because we tend to be impatient and desire to know the future and what is going to happen next.  To wait for God’s direction and answer is even more difficult because God’s timing is different than ours.  It always seems slower.  Patience involves trust. Just as we wait for surgery, we trust the surgeon who will be operating and wait for his skilled hands to provide the needed help to our bodies. When life has changed, we do not know what to do next because the familiar is gone, and life will never go back to the way we knew it.  So, we wait for direction.  We wait in trust that God will provide what is needed.

The surgery reminds me of what has changed.  Sometimes the loss of a loved one feels like surgery – they have been removed from our physical lives.  Our hearts are broken, and it feels like we will never recover from the loss.  I believe God is the Great Healer, and His healing and surgery comes from His Spirit which we cannot see or touch.  His Spirit is within us healing us from inside and giving comfort and peace. 

Then comes the recovery which is waking up to the reality of life as we have it now.  There have been changes, and in recovery we experience the pain of these changes.  To recover is to return to a normal state but nothing feels normal again after loss.  Another way of understanding recovery is to regain strength, purpose, and hope.

We never get over the loss of a loved one, but we accept the loss and affirm the love and memories are the foundation that helps us take steps into this different life.  We need time to rest, recover, and refresh.  It may seem like we are doing nothing during recovery time but inside the heart and soul God is working His miracle of healing and hope.  You may not see it nor feel it, but one day you begin to realize you are focusing on living and seeking to find joy again.  Just like in the physical recovery from surgery, you may not see your healing, but it is happening within your body.  You begin to be more active without pain.

Give yourself time to recover.  Be willing to wait.  Allow God to bring healing within your soul. Recovery and healing are happening.  Give yourself grace.  Give yourself some rest.  Have some moments you do nothing so that the healing power of God’s Spirit can work within you.  Take it slow but keep taking steps into living.

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Check out my new book – Live Different Moments.  Each chapter has an Annie story.  Annie will guide you in living into life.

My NEW book – Live Different Moments - Available on Amazon -

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

My Books – Living In The Different  and Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper – Available on Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Intentional Consistency

As you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so continue to live in Him.  Keep your roots deep in him and have your lives built on him.”  Colossians 2:6-7

I have been assisting a friend whose living space got out of control after she experienced changes in her life through the death of family and other life changes.  It began with bringing things into her space from her loved ones.  Then work papers came home with her.  Then stuff just took over.  She had good intentions to sort through her possessions and organize her space, but life was full of demands, helping others, and just exhaustion.  Her intentions were good but impossible to attain and be consistent.

So we developed an intentional plan.  Here is the plan.  First, she got an empty box and put it in her living space. Every day she would walk through her house for five minutes and find items that she was no longer using or did not have meaning or value to her anymore and she would put them in the box.  Once the box was full, she would take it to her vehicle and drop it off to a donation center.  She had to be intentional and consistent in order for this plan to work and begin to clear the clutter from her living space and develop a healthy environment.

An intention is an idea or task that you plan to carry out and complete.  To be intentional means you have a purpose and plan.  You are deliberate in doing something on your own.  To be consistent is to do something the same way over time.  It is constant, regular, dependable, reliable. 

We may have a plan for our environment to make it healthy, but we may not be consistent in achieving our goal.  We may have a plan to be physically healthy but are not consistent especially when it comes to eating foods that are not healthy but tempting.  We may have a plan to exercise but are not consistent because of our schedules or the weather.  We may have a desire to grow in our relationship with Jesus but are not consistent in spending time in Scripture and prayer and awareness of God’s Presence.

The clutter in our heads may resemble the clutter in our homes.  We have the desire to be free of worry, anxiety, fear, regret, past hurts, anger, and the trauma and emotions of life.  But the emotions pile up and consume without any relief.  We are exhausted.  The loss and grief and changes of life make it difficult to release these feelings and emotions because we have lost the one whom we share the burdens of life.  Or we have nobody we trust. 

What if we started being intentional with the feelings, emotions, pains and hurts that are within us and began to release them into God’s box five minutes every day?  This may sound like a strange idea.  We each have a lot of clutter in our heads that we hold on to that has no value or meaning in our lives.  We hold on to it because we have been hurt and feel the intensity of loss.  We cannot change what has happened.  The only thing we can do is accept it has happened, grieve, and choose to step into this different life.  We can choose to give to God what we cannot release and allow God’s touch to bring healing and hope.

This is a process and that is where consistency comes into the plan.  We need to come to God every day and talk about what is inside of us and what is preventing us from living fully and abundantly into the life God designed for us to live.  It is being intentional to focus on the present and God’s presence.  It is being consistent in letting go of what you cannot change.  It is not living as a victim but as a redeemed, forgiven child of a loving God.

God is intentional and consistent in His love for you and me.  His grace and mercy is intentionally consistent.  It never changes even when life changes.  It is trusting God even in the pain and hurt of life.  It is being intentional to forgive and not be controlled by the one who hurt you.  It is being consistent in your awareness of God with you and living in the moment.

Let’s be intentionally consistent!

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Check out my new book – Live Different Moments.  Each chapter has an Annie story.  Annie will guide you in living into life.

My NEW book – Live Different Moments - Available on Amazon -

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

My Books – Living In The Different  and Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper – Available on Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

The Tempo of Life

“I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper to be with you forever, the Spirit of truth.  The world cannot accept him, because it does not see him or know him. But you know him, because he lives with you and he will be in you.”  John 14:16-17

I enjoy listening to music.  I grew up with music being played in the house by my mom.  She played a stack of records (now called vinyl) on the stereo throughout the day.  My parents enjoyed Gospel sings and Quartet music, and we traveled around the area to Churches to listen to a variety of Gospel groups.  My parents usually purchased a record, and it was played for weeks and then included in the stack. 

I listen to the words of songs as well as the music and the beat.  Sometimes a group will slow down a familiar song to a tempo that just makes the song drag, and it takes away the enjoyment of the song for me.  The song loses its meaning because the tempo is no longer the familiar version as I learned it.  It is just like when someone singing our National Anthem improvises and changes the familiar arrangement.  That bothers me.  Each song has an original tempo and beat created by the composer and author.

Tempo in music is the speed at which a piece of music was written and created to be played.  Tempo can also be applied to our daily lives, too.  The tempo of life means the pace or speed life was created to be lived.  It is the cadence or rhythm of life.

So who sets the tempo of life for you?  I have heard people say life feels like a rollercoaster ride or a merry-go-round.  Some state life feels like it is going so fast that they cannot keep up.  They need it to slow down.  Some are filled with fear and step out of living life and just exist and quit listening to any tempo.  Others are just on the go all the time and feel exhausted.  The tempo of their lives goes faster than their energy.  Does any of these examples describe where you currently are in life?

You may allow society, schedules, work, the pressure, and expectations of others to set your tempo and pace for life.  And right now, you feel exhausted because of it.  May I suggest we slow down for a moment and take a breath and check our focus.  Who is leading the tempo of your life?  Where is God’s Spirit? I believe God has created a tempo for how life should be lived.

My own life has felt out of tempo recently, and I am trying to adjust it.  It feels like the familiar song of my life needs to change the speed.  As we change seasons of life because of loss, change, age, or location, we need to re-evaluate how we spend our time and energy.  I am praying and asking God – “How do you want me to glorify you?”  “How should I spend my time?”  I have always been very active, creative, and involved in the lives of others.  I am always thinking about creating the next seminar, the next talk, write the next book, devotion, or blog, and who needs a visit or card?  The tempo of the music of my soul has always been upbeat and energized with purpose and productivity.  Do I need to keep up this pace?

Grief changed my inner tempo, but I tried to keep the outward expression on an active rhythm.  Now, I am pondering if that really is necessary and fulfilling?  As I sit writing this blog, the sun is shining, the sky is blue, a slight breeze is blowing through my open windows, the birds are singing their God-given melody, and the sound of traffic is whizzing by in the distance though I cannot see it.  The traffic reminds me of the constant pace of life and trying to accomplish what I think the world expects of me.  The sights and sounds of nature remind me of the peaceful, gentleness of God’s pace of life.  Just to sit in the tempo and rhythm of what God created reminds me of what God desires.  God wants me to live the tempo of a God-breathed life.  What a peace that brings and a quietness to my soul. 

The world demands, expects, requires, and is fast and loud and pulls the life out of us to the point of exhaustion, fear, and anxiety.  God whispers, woos, loves, and breathes life into us.  So who or what determines the tempo of your life?  Why is it so hard to choose God’s tempo?

I am understanding more and more that the Holy Spirit – the Spirit of God – which is within me desires to set the tempo and rhythm of my life if I will surrender and release the control to His indwelling Spirit.  When I breathe in the Spirit and release my control and the control of the world, the calmness of the Spirit fills me, slows me down, and allows me to rest in God’s Presence.  When I do, the tempo of life is determined by God not the pressures and expectations of this world.  I relax and take in God’s beauty and presence.  I begin to experience the joy of living in God’s presence and enjoying what is in front of me.  I release anxiety and worry that I am not doing enough and trust the Holy Spirit to lead and direct my path of life.

Breathe in the Holy Spirit right now.  Follow God’s tempo for your life.  You will be amazed and grateful for the peace and calmness of your spirit.

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Check out my new book – Live Different Moments.  Each chapter has an Annie story.  Annie will guide you in living into life.

My NEW book – Live Different Moments - Available on Amazon -

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

My Books – Living In The Different  and Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper – Available on Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Embrace The Different

“But Esau ran to meet Jacob and embraced him; he threw his arms around his neck and kissed him.  And they wept.”         Genesis 33:4 (NIV)

Recently, I was blessed with several huge hugs from my sweet six-year-old nephew, Wyatt.  He hugged me so tight that I fell over with joy holding him in my arms.  I squeezed him tight and laughed with him, and he kept hugging me.  It was a gift to hold my dear nephew and see his smile and his eyes light up in recognition of his aunt.  He wanted more hugs, and I embraced him in love.

 To embrace someone is to welcome them with open arms, to hold, to hug, and to accept completely.  It is easy to embrace a child who is eager to be held and loved.  It feels so natural and fills you with gratefulness and joy.  I cherish these moments.  We embrace those we love, and we open wide our hearts to those who are dear to us.

How do you embrace change when life is different from what you expected or hoped?  To embrace change means you open yourself up to going a different path and you accept change as a natural part of your life.  So, do you embrace change, or do you try to stay in the familiar and comfortable fighting against anything different?  For example, can you rearrange a room, move furniture, and reduce the items in the room without anxiousness or dread?  If this is difficult for you, you may be a person who enjoys life staying the same and not deviating from the norm.  Embrace this for now, but know life is guaranteed to change at some point.

To embrace is an acceptance of the situation or the person.  To embrace the different is to accept the completion of life as it was in the past.  You embrace the memories.  You embrace the love that remains in your heart.  You embrace with thanksgiving the privilege of sharing life together.  You release yourself to live into the present.

Sometimes life feels like you are hugging a porcupine – it hurts.  Life has pain and heartache, but can you embrace it as part of life?  You may be angry at life and your current situation, and you struggle with acceptance.  You may not be angry at God, but at where life has taken you.  To embrace the pains and hurts of life just means you take in the trials as part of life, and you can still embrace God knowing He is still with you through the pain.  No matter how much you embrace some people in your life, they still hurt you like a porcupine.  It is learning to hug quickly, accept them for who they are, and then step away.  You acknowledge them but do not live in the hurt and pain they cause.

I am learning to embrace the different in life.  I recognize the need for change especially when I get frustrated, discouraged, and disappointed.  It is usually because I assume something that is no longer true.  I expect people to be supportive and to do what I would do in the situation.  I am learning to embrace people for who they are and to release who I expected them to be.  It allows me not to be controlled by the choices and views of others.

In this different, I am also learning to embrace the Presence of God.  I am more aware that God is with me each moment.  God wants me to embrace the life He has for me and to stay focused on His presence. God is always aware of me and waiting to embrace me with His love and grace.  I am learning to live in God’s tempo of life not mine and embrace the present moment.

Life is different.  Embrace the change and seek to find the joy in moments. 

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Check out my new book – Live Different Moments.  Each chapter has an Annie story.  Annie will guide you in living into life.

My NEW book – Live Different Moments - Available on Amazon -

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

My Books – Living In The Different  and Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper – Available on Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Tribute to a Gentle and Humble Man

“Humble yourself before the Lord and he will exalt you.”  James 4:10

I received the phone call that my brother-in-law, Don, entered Heaven.  Don was the oldest brother of my husband, Dave.  He was four years older than Dave, and even as a young boy, Dave always looked up to his older brother.  Early in his life Don made a commitment to follow Jesus as His Savior and Lord. He lived his life for Jesus and faithfully served him all his life.  Now Don is with Jesus in Heaven.  We celebrate that he is free from the pain and sorrows of this world and is reunited with all his family in Heaven.  We are sad for our loss, but we rejoice in Heaven’s gain and Don’s new life in Heaven.

Years ago, when I wrote the book – Glimpses of God – I wrote a story about Don being the “Greatest Man I Had Ever Known.”   I would like to share some of this story with you – paraphrased with additions.

Don had many great achievements in his life.  He had a wonderful marriage to Alice and was blessed with two daughters and many grandchildren.  Don graduated from the United States Naval Academy in Annapolis.  He earned his wings as a Naval aviator, became a surgeon, served tours of duty in Vietnam as a surgeon, was Captain of the USS Mercy providing humanitarian aid to needy countries, and achieved the rank of Rear Admiral in the Navy.  He taught surgery and provided care to many military families.

Through all these achievements, Don daily read his Bible and lived out his faith daily in his work and home.  Don was always available by letter, phone or in person during the joys and sorrows of life.  Tears were not foreign to his cheeks.  They were tears of strength, support, and a deep love for those he comforted.  Many people achieve great things, but Don’s greatest achievement was his unselfish giving of his Christian love.

As a doctor, the term “bedside manner” has been given a positive step forward as he shared his love and compassion with his patients as if each were the most important person in the world.  And at that moment the patient was the most important to Don.

My first encounter with Don was through a phone call.  Before Dave and I were married, Don called me to send his love and congratulations.  He talked with me as if he had known me forever and sent his love and prayers.  His spirit flowed across the phone, and I already loved him as a brother before I met him.  Through the years, I had many conversations and visits with Don.  We always shared our love for Jesus and the Scriptures.  I treasure the times he interacted with my parents and how he treated them with love and respect.

Over the years my love and respect continued to grow for Don.  As I learned more about all his accomplishments, achievements, and travels, though he was very shy and humble to share them with you, I was in awe of all he had done with his life.  (Google – Admiral Donald D. Sturtz and you will find his achievements).  But what makes him the “greatest man I have ever known” is his genuineness, his gentle spirit, his love, and compassion.  I have never known anyone with such deep, gentle, and outward compassion. When you were with Don, you became the focal point of all his gentle spirit and attention.  Don made you feel at ease and that you were the most special person in that moment.  He lived his faith daily in all that he did in his work and in his home, naturally and without reservation sharing his love for Jesus and his own need to depend upon Jesus.  When it came to looking on the positive side of life, Don walked the straight and narrow path, and he was willing to take a stand for what was wrong.

I could describe in detail all the big and little things Don did throughout his life which would be very uplifting, but being the humble man Don was, he would not want me to do it.  But what I desire to convey in all of this is that being great is not based on human achievements or standards.  Being great and humble is what we do for God and for others gently and quietly without calling attention to ourselves.  It is humbling ourselves before our Lord.

I am grateful that Donald D. Sturtz was my brother-in-law, my friend in Jesus, and the most gentle, humble, and great man I have known.  I give thanks that he was in my life and was an example to learn from and grow in faith together.  I give thanks that he loved me and that I loved him.  I give thanks that he is now in Heaven free from the limitations of his earthly body.    I will miss our phone calls.  I am sad that he is not on earth, but his love and spirit remain in all the hearts that he has touched.  He is part of my foundation, and I am forever grateful for his life and love. 

Fly High, Don!

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My NEW book – Live Different Moments - Available on Amazon -

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

My Books – Living In The Different  and Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper – Available on Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Step In Step Out

“The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and for evermore.”  Psalm 121:8

I watched two little boys – my nephews – go into the house and soon they were outside playing.  Then inside for a snack.  Then outside into the tent.  Then inside on their device.  Then outside to make tie dyed T-shirts.  Then inside.  They were in and out of the house throughout the afternoon.  In and out of activities.  In and out of conversations.  In and out.

There are numerous situations in life where you step in and step out.  You step into your work environment and responsibilities, and you step out at the end of the work time.  You step into an organization, a group, an event.  You participate and hopefully enjoy the experience.  Then you step out.

During grief and change, you may step out of life and the routine and expectations of others for a period of time.  Life is different, and you need time to adjust to the different and re-evaluate who you are now and your new purpose and focus for life.  Sometimes it becomes difficult to find your place to step back into life.  Life has changed.  You have changed, but not everyone else has changed.

Sometimes as you adjust to changes, you need to learn a new way of interacting in relationships, living life, and experiencing the life God has for you.  First, interacting in relationships.  It is learning when to step in and when to step out.  Let me explain.  I have learned through experience, mistakes, and maturity, it is not my responsibility to fix everyone and every situation nor was I born into this world to please everyone.  When I truly seek God’s purpose, will, and guidance, I can step into a situation or into a person’s life, be with them in the moment and even enjoy the time together.  But then I can also step out.  I listen to God’s Spirit to guide me in what I am to do and share, but it is not my responsibility to make everything better, good, or right in their lives.  Stepping out is setting healthy boundaries and releasing the situation to God.

How do you step into life – this different life?  You do it slowly and in moments.  For instance, you step into an event.  It could be a family gathering, a Bible Study, a social gathering, or a concert.  You remind yourself that you are going to focus on just this one event.  You go, and be present in the moment as much as possible, and when you have experienced it, you step out.  You give yourself permission to step out and renew yourself in the quiet moments alone.  You give yourself grace and also recognition that you accomplished the event.

When you break life down into events, adventures, and moments, you can step into them.  Enjoy the moment and then step out to rest and renew yourself.  It does not need to raise your anxiety because you are separating each event and not putting them all together as something that is continuous.  You are just focused on one moment and event at a time.  You take steps in and then permission to step out.

How do you step into the life God has for you?  Again, for most people it is one step at a time.  You step into recognizing God is with you all the time.  God loves you.  You are God’s child.  God gives you His love and grace one moment at a time.  You step out of the negative view, the guilt, and shame of the past.  You step out of the past.  It is your foundation of who you are but you cannot step backward.  Stepping into life is always forward.

To step out is also stepping out of the control of others and the world.  It is stepping into dependency on God and the freedom God gives to you.  The freedom of living fully in the moment.  The freedom from worry and anxiety of the future because you are focused on living fully now.  Your eyes are on the present moment.  When you take a step, you need to pay attention to what is in front of you.

God is with you in each step you take.  Take the hand of Jesus when you take a step in and when you take a step out.  He is present.

My NEW book – Live Different Moments - Available on Amazon -

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

My Books – Living In The Different  and Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper – Available on Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Reflecting On The Different

“The greatest love a person can show is to die for his friends.”   John 15:13

April 7th marked the one-year anniversary of my companion dog, Annie’s death.  It has been a year since I walked her, looked into her eyes, felt the warmth of her body as a petted her, gave her cucumber treats.  I miss her companionship, her presence, and my relationship with her.  It does not seem possible she has been gone for an entire year.

Annie and I had a very unique relationship.  Our bond was formed out of the sadness of grief.  After my husband, Dave, died, it was just Annie and me.  We needed each other to survive each day.  Annie got me out of bed and kept me in a routine.  I gave Annie a new purpose to her life by becoming my therapy dog.  She loved the attention and because of her own loss of her master, she easily sensed the emotions of others.

Annie and I understood each other, and words were not needed.  The language of our senses was enough.  I was Annie’s person.  Our hearts were connected.  The emotional support Annie gave me was indescribable.  In the past year, I have recognized the emptiness within me.  I had taken for granted that calmness Annie brought to my spirit.  It was as if God’s presence came to me through Annie at times.  Annie was a distraction from the tasks, the minutiae, and the mundane of life.  She made me smile and focus on enjoying the moment and not take myself so seriously.  She helped me not to think too far into the future of what I needed to do.  Annie kept me grounded in the moment.

When the world became too much, Annie got me out of the mess in my head.  When I was focused too much on work, writing, and the details of daily life, Annie always came to me for attention or to go outside.  Now I see how she was helping me get my focus off the things that do not really matter and enjoy what was around me and enjoy time with her.  She wanted the attention I was giving to all the paperwork.  She taught me the importance of relationships.  Annie helped me re-focus my priorities.

Annie loved being outside.  She loved to walk, explore all the smells she found, and just lay in the sunshine.  Annie and I walked and ran thousands of miles over her eleven years of life.  I think of her each time I run and walk.  She kept me and continues to keep me grounded in the beauty of God’s creation.

Annie made a difference in my life.  Again, my life is different without her.  As we each reflect and remember those who have impacted our lives, yes, we miss them and would prefer life with them.  But we are thankful for the time we had with them.  We remember and give thanks that God blessed us with time and are grateful for their love and influence.

I am thankful God blessed me with Annie even though the pain of loss has been intense.  I would still go through it all again just to have had Annie in my life.  I am always asked if I will get another dog.  I always respond, “Never.”  I do not miss having a dog.  I just miss Annie.

When we experience loss, no other person or no other animal, object or experience will replace that relationship.  It was unique and special.  You will have different relationships, but it is not a replacement.  Different allows for directional changes and new adventures.

I am thankful for the relationship God gave me with Annie.  Annie made a difference in my life and in the lives of those she shared her life and joy.  Annie has taught me to focus on the moment in front of me.  My life was enriched because of Annie.  Each of our lives has been forever enriched and enhanced because of our loved ones.  We are better people because of their love and influence.  We can give thanks and cherish the memories.

Check out my new book – Live Different Moments.  Each chapter has an Annie story.  Annie will guide you in living into life.

My NEW book – Live Different Moments - Available on Amazon -

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

My Books – Living In The Different  and Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper – Available on Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Easter Hope

“May the God of hope fill you will all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”  Romans 15:13

“I hope you feel better.”  “I hope to see you soon.”  “I hope everyone has a good time.”  “I hope life settles down for you.”  We hope for life to get better, sickness to end, healing to happen, and life to be what we desire.  When we define hope, it is usually on our own terms and conditions.  We have a desire for a certain thing to happen.  It is a wish for a positive outcome.  This hope is more of a preference to get what we want and be able to determine or control the end result.  But is that really hope?

Easter brings a different meaning to hope.  It is a hope that this world is not all there is.  A hope that sin, sickness, and death is not in control.  Jesus died for our sins.  We are forgiven and given grace.  We no longer need to hope that we will be forgiven because grace is freely given.  We are cleansed from sin because of Jesus’ death on the cross.  It is now a fact.  It is true.  Jesus died for the sins of everyone and that includes you.  The hope is in what we cannot see but know is true.  We have the hope of eternal life with Jesus in Heaven.

When our loved one dies, we have the hope that they are with Jesus in Heaven.  They take their last breath on earth and their next breath is in Heaven.  This gives us comfort for all who believe.  My brother-in-law, Don, is on this journey home to Heaven.  It gives me comfort to know he is looking forward to being with Jesus.  I live in the hope and assurance that he will be healed and will live in Heaven with Jesus and all those who have gone before him.

Easter brings hope not just for the future in Heaven but hope for our daily lives.  Hope helps me see through the eyes of my heart the things that are not yet visible.  That is, hope is not so much about what I can see as believing with my heart that what has been promised will happen.  We do not hope for what is obvious or what we actually can see.  Easter hope is about trusting that God is with you even when you do not feel or see His presence.  It is believing God is with you even in the struggles and sorrows of life.  Jesus promised the disciples and us that He would always be with us.  He gave His Spirit, the Holy Spirit, to be constantly present within us.

In the lowest times of life, when it is difficult to believe life will be tolerable, livable, or healthy, it is when “a hope of a hope” becomes the next step.  It is knowing that someday you will have hope and trust, but right now you do not see it nor feel it.  It is just holding on to that promise that even when you cannot see the possibility of life being different and you being content, it is clinging to the belief God is still with you in the uncertainty and chaos. 

Easter hope also assures that the past is forgiven.  You do not need to live in the guilt, shame, sin, and pain of the past.  Jesus’ death brought complete forgiveness and closure to the past failures.  Easter hope tells you not to keep beating yourself up for what you have done in the past.  It is forgiven so live forgiven.  You cannot change or alter the past in any way.  Release it to God and live in the hope and grace of Easter.

Easter hope also assures that you can live forward into each day.  It may not be what you expected or planned, but it is what you have.  Hope says you can make the best of each day knowing you are not alone.  You can be grateful and focus on the good around you.  God is with you in each today.  Jesus said, “I am.”  “I am with you no matter what has happened or will happen.”

You do not face anything alone.  Easter reminds us Jesus is alive.  Every fear and anxiety you have is conquered by Easter hope.  Jesus is with you in each feeling, fear, emotion, and worry.  Trust Him.  It sounds so simple, but it is not easy releasing an old habit or pattern of living.  All you have is today.  You can choose to be miserable without hope and live in fear and worry, or you can choose to live in hope and trust Jesus each step.  It does not mean you forget what has happened.  It just means you accept what you cannot change, nor did you choose it.  But you can choose to find hope in the possibilities of today.  Live in this Easter Hope!

My NEW book – Live Different Moments - Available on Amazon -

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

My Books – Living In The Different  and Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper – Available on Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Abide In Memories

“Those who abide in me and I in them bear much fruit, because apart from me you can do nothing.”  John 15:5

I attended the funeral of my cousin, Tom this past week.  His mom and my dad were siblings.  I grew up with his family being an integral part of my life and my foundation.  I remember holidays and family picnics together.  I remember the laughter and fun we shared together.  I remember the cool toys they had at their house.  I remember the love my aunt and uncle gave to me.  As I listened to the scripture and the hymns and the spoken word, I sat in the memories, and it felt like a warm blanket around me.

The Scripture from the Gospel of John, chapter 15 was read in the service.  The word “abide” caught my attention.  It described how I was feeling – I was abiding in the memories of years gone by, but memories that were so very present in that moment.  I could see, feel, smell, and hear those memories as I sat in the church and worshiped God in the celebration of my cousin’s life.

To abide means to dwell, to remain, to be present, to remain stable or fixed in place.  I believe memories abide in our hearts and minds.  God has blessed us with the ability to remember.  It is allowing the bad to fade and the good to remain.

At the meal after the service, I sat with Tom’s brother, my cousin, Dan, and the memories came to the forefront of my thoughts.  My brothers were around me as well as the children of my cousin.  Our memories were first of our grandmother who was the connection between our families.  Grandma was the foundation of our family and our faith.  She was the one with whom we each had a relationship.  We told stories from our childhood about Grandma and how at Easter all fourteen of us ate at the dinner table in her small house and wondered how we all fit.  And after dinner searching for the hidden peanuts in the shell that Grandma had spent hours hiding the day before.  We laughed and shared and for those moments we remained or abided in the past memories.  They are memories that are a part of who we were and remain vital to who are.  Nobody can take them away or even change them.

It is good to abide again in these memories.  I am so grateful for the gift of my Grandma and her influence on my life and my faith.  She was a very proper lady, too, who taught me manners, respect for your elders, and how to play checkers.  The memories do not bring a sadness but a joy that I had these experiences and relationships.

Yes, there is sadness when someone dies.  We rejoice in their life and influence and that they are no longer in pain or suffering.  We give thanks to God that they have been welcomed into Heaven with Jesus.  Our sadness is because we miss them and our life changes because they are not physically sharing life with us.  When we choose to abide in the memories, we keep our loved one alive in our hearts and our foundation is stronger because of their love, life, and influence.

We are called to abide not just in our earthly relationships and memories, but we are to abide in Jesus.  Jesus calls us to abide in Him.  When we abide or stand firm in Jesus we bear fruit.  That is, we do exactly what my Grandma did – she lived her life in Jesus’ presence and shared her love and faith with her family who then shared it with the next generation.

We also abide by remaining present with Jesus and living in the present with Him.  Jesus is our stable and firm place in the storms of life.  When we abide, Jesus holds us, protects us, and helps us to weather the storms.  We are never alone.  Abide in the memories that are your foundation.  Abide in Jesus because He will walk you through the present.  Enjoy some laughter with a cousin, too!

My NEW book – Live Different Moments - Available on Amazon -

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

My Books – Living In The Different  and Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper – Available on Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Possibilities

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”  Romans 12:18

She lives in an “all or nothing” thought pattern.  If what she planned to do falls apart, then she does nothing.  Her brain does not think about any other way or options.  He can only focus on one relationship in his life.  His priority is to one person, and he does not know how to relate or interact with multiple people at a time.  He compartmentalizes his life and does not integrate himself and his beliefs into all aspects of his life.  While it is good to maintain focus, there are other possibilities and options when life does not go as planned. You need not just quit. 

When you live in an all or nothing world, that is, your thinking sees only one way of living, you can become lonely, anxious, and even depressed.  Life did not turn out the way you had envisioned and hoped so you stay stuck in not knowing what to do.  It is like living on a merry-go-round.  You go around and around doing the same thing but making no progress but still feeling empty.  Nothing changes but life around you appears to be moving on.

Then you make a “to do list” thinking it will motivate you to accomplish the tasks of life and move forward.  When you do not complete the list, you feel like a failure and just quit trying.  It is that all or nothing mentality.  Oh, you may have the desire, but you are not motivated.

We want to live into this different life.  We would prefer the old life but that is not reality.  No matter how much we wish for or even try to recreate and not change anything, it is never the same.  We cannot go back.  That season of life is complete.  We take the memories, the love, and incorporate all we have learned into our foundation.

Our focus needs to change from an “all or nothing” to “what are my options?” mentality.  Our “to do list” can change to “Today’s Possibilities.”  Life is different so how we approach life needs to be different too.  All the planning and preparation to create a life just like we desire will not make the life happen because of other people’s decisions and the traumas, calamities, and pain of life.  We try to protect and prepare so that we can prevent but it never works.  So, when life does not turn out as you had hoped or planned, what do you do?  Give up?  Just exist? See no other way of living?  Stay stuck?  None of this works because there is no life in these ways.

I get frustrated when life does not go as I had hoped.  People frustrate me when they do not follow through, but I am learning to accept people for who they are and not base my life on what other people do or do not do.  I am learning to not live in these expectations and not assume other people have the same values and views.  I am learning to say, “That’s who they are.  God, change my focus to who I am in You and to the possibilities You have for me.”

Possibilities are what is more likely to happen.  It is when we are willing to change our narrow focus from what will never happen again to the possible directions that open now before us.  It is giving yourself permission to let go of what you had or wanted to have and accept the reality of the new and different.  And within this reality, you have numerous choices and options.  Sometimes we need to experience all these options.  Just because you try an option does not mean you have to keep doing it.  You can say, “I tried it.”  “Not for me, but glad I had the experience.”

When you are afraid or anxious, it is also creating possibilities that will help you relax, defuse, and release these feelings.  It is recognizing you do not need to stay in these heightened feelings or deny them or escape from them.  It is creating healthy possibilities or options to release them and go in a different direction.  Possibilities are centered on our surrender to God.  It is trusting God to open our eyes to a new way of viewing our circumstances.  It is being grateful for the life that God has before us.

Be open to the possibilities of life that are right in front of you.

My NEW book – Live Different Moments - Available on Amazon -

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

My Books – Living In The Different  and Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper – Available on Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Standing Still

“Now then, stand still and see this great thing the Lord is about to do before your eyes.” 

I Samuel 12:16

I stood beside the water.  It was still and calm.  The water looked like a crystal sea covered with glass.  The light of the sun reflected on the water.  It was peaceful and still.  I looked up and saw the white fluffy clouds lingering on this peaceful day.  I stood still and praised God for the beauty of the day.  In our fast-paced world, we rarely linger and stand still to enjoy the moments of beauty around us and quiet our thoughts just to be present.

Then, I experienced a different way of standing still this week.  I stood still with my friend, John, in our conversation.  He has entered the stage of life where his processing has declined, and he has difficulty expressing in words the thoughts in his head.  He cannot recall the word he wants to use.  He has a thought to share but cannot articulate it.  Instead of pushing forward and trying to anticipate what he wanted to say, I just stood still and waited.  At times I would help but I stayed within the boundaries of our current conversation.  I stood still and did not take away his dignity.

I also stood still in the pain and hurt of others this week.  I listened.  I heard the pain and hurt.  I stood still in their emotions and uncertainty of life.  I stood still with my friend who knew it was time to move and accept the next phase of life.  She knew it was necessary, but she felt the burden of the decision.  I stood still and listened.  I heard her fears and the reality of life that she had to face.  Life was changing and it could not be stopped or even slowed down.  It was time.

I stood still in the disease of my nephew.  I listened to the family.  I heard the emotions and the questions.  I could not fix anything nor were there any words that would bring healing from the pain and certainty of the future.  I was just present.  We want time to stand still for a little while so we can catch our breath and enjoy the moments.  We do not want our children to grow up so fast that we miss these moments.

It is being brave enough to allow yourself to feel the emotions that you are standing still in. Stand still long enough to feel life.  Oh, we try to escape as quickly as possible when the pain and hurt of the world begins to consume us.  It is difficult to face the realities of life.  It is not going there alone.  I take the hand of Jesus when I stand still in the feelings and thoughts of life.  I am not alone, but it can feel lonely.

Sometimes, we want to fix life for ourselves and others.  We keep busy and believe the more we do and accomplish, the situation will become easier or better.  When we pause and rest, anxiety and fear begin to take control.  We may even feel some panic that we must keep working to fix the situation.  Some situations are not fixable by human hands.

This is when we need to surrender to God.  I am not talking about giving up but about trusting God and standing still in God’s presence and allowing God to work and fight for us.  It is trusting in what we cannot see.  It is having faith that God sees the big picture and is working in the situation. 

When I stand still in God’s presence, I am waiting for God.  I am not waiting for God to do what I want, but I am waiting to hear God speak to my heart.  I am standing still until my heart is connected to God and my desire is what God desires.  Standing still slows me down.  My thoughts need to stop living in and planning for the future.  I need to be still in God’s presence that is with me.   I need to stand still and breath in God’s Spirit.  I need to stand in worship and praise that God loves me and cares about every detail of my life.  I need to stand still and let God work.  Stand still.

My NEW book – Live Different Moments - Available on Amazon -

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

My Books – Living In The Different  and Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper – Available on Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Surface Deep

“And I pray that you and all God’s holy people will have the power to understand the greatness of Christ’s love – how wide and how long and how high and how deep that love is.” 

Ephesians 3:18 NCV

“Be like a duck. Calm on the surface but always paddling like the dickens underneath.”  I have heard this old saying in many different versions.  The essence of its meaning is you outwardly show that you are calm and have everything under control but what is happening underneath is that you are working as hard as you can to keep going.  It is the façade that you express.  Your outward appearance is maintained to hide the struggle within.

We live like this in our grief and in the struggles of life.  We fear falling apart and being judged by others as weak.  Therefore, we pretend and keep it under the surface.  When asked how you are doing, you probably respond automatically, “I’m fine.”  We are afraid to admit that we are not fine.  We are falling apart.  We are afraid.  We are empty.  Faith seems impossible. The depth of our being feels the darkness of life.  So, we avoid the deep and all the feelings and emotions that are below the surface, and we exist on the surface of life.  Fear is in control.

Surface living is filled with fear and anxiety.  It is just existing in what you think you can handle and control on your own.  It is relying on your own strength and wisdom.  This creates exhaustion.  The focus is on the expectations of others.  Social media guides decision-making.  Surface living allows media and entertainment to guide your thoughts and values.  Your conversations revolve around people you do not personally have a relationship with, but you watch them in a box.  When others are in control, your emotions and anxiety will be all over the place.  You may be trying to please others who change their minds and change the rules on a whim.  It becomes easier to live in your own little world – go to work or school and then return to the security of your space and escape with entertainment.

You function on the surface of life.  The surface can also be a scary place.  It may feel like nothing will work out.  You are in a heightened state of anxiety trying to maintain control and appear all is well.  You have nothing to ground you and hold onto as you float on the surface.

It is time to break up the surface and dig deeper.  Take the risk and free yourself from the familiar and comfortable.  It is not healthy, but you have done it for so long.  Could there be more to life than just going through the motions of existing without purpose and meaning to your days?

Yes, the depth of life begins with Jesus.  I am not talking about going to Church, the spiritual disciplines, or abiding by God’s Commandments – all which are good and important.  I am referring to living in the constant presence of God.  The depth of life is found in surrender and dependence on God.  That no matter what happens around me which is the surface of life, God is with me. God will not always take me out of the pain or storm, but God will walk with me through it.  When I mess up, God’s love is deeper than my sin and mess ups.  I live forgiven and forward.

After loss, change, and a new season of life, I see life differently.  The minutiae of the world or what society or others deem as important, is not where I desire to place my priorities.  I want to go deeper and find purpose and meaning in each day and just enjoy the moments of life without the anxiety and fear of not pleasing others.  I want to live so close to Jesus that I am content in every situation and know I am living in God’s presence and that is most important.  I am living in the depth of life.  God is in the depths and the heights.  There is no place I can go or be that God is not there.  That is trust.  That is faith.

Living on the surface is always focused on this fallen world which will always disappoint and not meet your expectations.  The surface pulls you away from even desiring the depths of life.  Living deeper is believing there is more – an eternity more.  It is faith in what you cannot see.  But faith that will bring you peace, hope, and joy.

The Sweet Smell of Peace

“You, Lord, give true peace to those who depend on you, because they trust you.”  Isaiah 26:3

When I was a child, I enjoyed the smell of Spring and Summer.  Spring had the smell of the trees and flowers beginning to bloom, the smell of the soil from planting the crops, and the smell of the fresh crisp, clean air.  Summer had the smell of fresh hay, the scent of vegetables from the garden, and yes, even the smell of cleaning out the barn from the cows and sheep.  But there was one smell that is still indescribable to me.  It is the smell of the sunshine on my face and the sense of being totally in the moment and breathing in the peace of that instant.  It is a smell that I still can take within me and feel a sense of complete peace.  The smell of trust without obligations or tasks to complete.  It is a complete freedom that one breathes deep within.

I had a moment recently that took me back to my childhood.  It was not so much a memory as it was a feeling.  I caught a smell – a scent that reminded me of standing in the front lawn of my childhood home and not having a single care in the world and just breathing in the moment.  I felt such peace, and nothing bothered me nor was there anything more important than just enjoying this precious moment.  The sun was shining, and it was as if God was all around me.  That moment comes back to me quite often.

I was sitting at the table in my home this past week, and I felt that complete peace.  I truly felt I was focused only on the present moment with no worries and no thoughts of what I needed to do.  I was enjoying a moment of complete peace in God’s presence.  It was amazing and powerful and humbling.  “Wow, this must be what Heaven is like, “I thought.  Then the day and the schedule and the tasks began to creep into my thoughts and take away this amazing peace and contentment.

We have all sought peace, but have we truly experienced it or even allowed God to bless us with the gift of peace?  Peace only comes with surrender and trust.  Peace comes when we live in the moment and trust God with each step.  Peace does not mean a trouble-free life.  We live in a broken and sinful world which robs us of outward peace and even trust.

When our world is shaken because of loss, our trust is broken.  We trusted God to take care of us and our loved ones in a specific way – not to allow hurt or pain.  We trust God to protect us because we believe and follow Him.  But we tend to define what protection needs to look like.  We give God boundaries and limitations.  We want the loss and pain to rain down on those who do evil and do not follow Jesus.  But God does not see life the way we see it.  Life is not fair.

I see the unfairness lived out in my sweet nephew.  There is no reason for him to go through the struggle of his disease, but through him I see pure faith, joy, and perfection.  I see an angel, and God has placed protective angels all around him.  When God decides someday to release him from this world, we will have an intense sadness but also a quiet peace knowing he is in the arms of Jesus.  He will be whole and at peace.

Death has its own smell.  A smell that is distinguishable but indescribable.  It separates, brings fear and dread.  It cannot be covered up, mixed, or reversed.  But it can be a sweet release from this world of suffering and pain.  It is the smell of leaving one world and going into eternal rest and peace.

I want to breathe in God’s peace and take in the smell of peace. My desire is to experience His abiding presence today not just in Heaven someday.  It is being totally in the moment.  The smell of being totally in the present moment is a clean, crisp smell that goes deep within and brings a sigh of release and freedom.  There is nothing in this world that can bring this peace but Jesus.

So what does peace smell like to you? 

My NEW book – Live Different Moments - Available on Amazon -

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

My Books – Living In The Different  and Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper – Available on Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Dread to Determined

“But there they are, overwhelmed with dread, for God is present in the company of the righteous.”  Psalm 14:5 NIV

She awoke and felt a heaviness in her chest.  She did not want to get out of bed and face the day.  She dreaded what she would have to face that day.  How would she make it through?  She wished the day was already completed, and she was back in bed.  I heard her feelings of dread.

Dread is to anticipate with great apprehension or fear.  It is another way of describing worry or anxiety.  It is thinking so much about the future and what may happen that you lose yourself in the present.  You focus only on the negative and the feelings of doom and gloom, and you have the desire to hide or escape from life.

We may dread doing the laundry, the dishes, or cleaning the garage or basement because we have let everything pile up and now it seems too overwhelming.  We do not know where to begin.  This is where the “one and done” concept comes into play.  We complete one task or one part of it at a time.  We do not fixate on the big picture, but just on one small task at a time.

We may dread seeing someone knowing the person will ask too many questions or that you will have to deal with the person’s attitude or anger.  We have given the person control of how we interact, and the person controls our life and the situation.  Dread enters because of the lack of boundaries or the acceptance that that is just who the person is.  Dread is accentuated by the absorbing of the other person and thinking we need to fix life for the person.

We dread the day because it is not what we want it to be.  We may want life to go back to the way it used to be so that everything can be normal again.  Or we have made decisions that we now regret and dread facing our current reality and the consequences.  We may dread doing what we made a commitment to and now wish we did not say “yes.”

We dread the bathroom scales, the event, the conversation, the consequences, and I could go on and on with examples, but I think you get the pictures.  Dread is anticipating negativity and focusing on how we will accomplish it all with only our power, strength, and ability.  It is future focusing and trying to figure out either how to avoid the situation or orchestrate what will happen.  Dread is just exhausting.

So, how do you overcome and deal with dread?  First, it is telling yourself and telling dread it is not in control of your thoughts and life.  When you awake in the morning, talk first to God not to your anxious thoughts.  Remind yourself and God that today you are doing everything with God.  “God, we got this, mostly You.”  Then take it one step at time.  Do not get ahead of God.  Keep yourself in the present moment.

I am determined to slow myself down to God’s pace not my anxious thoughts that are running out of control.  I am determined to let go and let God have control of each thought and each situation.  I am determined to not allow dread and negativity cloud my days.  That is, I have decided to give control to God and fix my eyes on Jesus not the swirling uncertainty of my emotions and thoughts.  I am determined that God is the center of my life, but I am aware that I will mess up at times, but I will not give up.  I will resolve to refocus when I get off track, and I will keep reminding myself to stay in the present and that in each decision and thought God is present.  I will hold God’s hand.

I am determined to be present with Jesus.  Dread, you are not my friend.  Jesus is my friend.

My NEW book – Live Different Moments - Available on Amazon -

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

My Books – Living In The Different  and Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper – Available on Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Unsettled Strength

“But may the God of all grace who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you.”  I Peter 5:10 NKJV

“That felt unsettling.” “Settle down.”  “I’m settled in my chair and don’t want to move.”  “My stomach is a little unsettled.”  “The ground settled there.”  “The phone call left me unsettled.”  “The news was unsettling.”  I have said some of these statements and heard the rest of them recently.  One of my clients told me, “My life feels so unsettled now.”  Her loss made her life so different.  Her heart ached, and she did not believe she could live without her companion.

To feel unsettled reflects a lack of stability with no purpose.  The feelings of being anxious and worried intensify this unsettling feeling.  Life does not feel right, nor does it feel familiar or comfortable.  Something is missing or wrong.

I, too, have felt unsettled in life.  Each time I have moved into a new house, it takes a while to unpack and settle into the place to make it my own.  When I have changed jobs and churches, it takes time to create a routine, find my place, discern my purpose, and establish relationships.

There is again an unsettling within my soul.  When these feelings come, I begin to observe what is going on around me.  It was unsettling when my husband, Dave died.  Life changed, and I was no longer the same.  I have never returned to who I used to be.  I have found a different life, and I view life from a different perspective.

Now there is another unsettling as life brings the next season of life.  When doors close in life, it is being patient with the next step.  Oh, I admit I have jumped quickly and made decisions I now regret.  I try not to live with this regret, but I focus on forgiveness and what I learned from the decision and move forward.  We cannot change the past, just learn from it.

The unsettling within tells me it is time to do something different.  When we try to keep the same life and routine, we feel empty.  It confirms that it is time to go in a different direction.  God can use us anywhere and with anyone.  Sometimes experiences, places and people run their course.

When my relationship with God feels unsettling, I know it is me who has moved.  It happens when the things of the world and other people’s opinions and views matter more than God’s.  That is when I feel an emptiness and struggle, and I need to crawl into my Heavenly Father’s lap and spend quiet time just being renewed in the silence of God’s presence.  Sunshine helps me to feel God’s Presence.

In this unsettling feeling, I recognize disappointments with those who have not met my expectations and situations that are no longer satisfying.  No amount of work or trying to do the same thing over and over again will help.  It just affirms that the doors are closed.  It is time to dream bigger God dreams.

So what do we do with all these unsettling feelings?  How do we settle our souls?  I turn to Jesus.  There is strength in these unsettled feelings because I recognize my own weakness.  I cannot do life alone.  When I am tired and weak, I need to depend on God’s strength.  God created these feelings within me so I would depend on Him.  God will restore and keep me from falling. When the turmoil begins in our souls, we are probably trying to fix everything by ourselves.  We keep doing the same thing expecting different results.  God allows this discontentment within us so that we will depend on His guidance.  God has great plans for our lives. Don’t settle for the little plans you try to do on your own.

Trust Jesus when you feel unsettled.  Take a step of faith.  Let go.  Allow God to strengthen you.  God will settle your soul as you curl up on His lap of love and grace.

My NEW book – Live Different Moments - Available on Amazon -

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

My Books – Living In The Different  and Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper – Available on Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Burden Is Light

“Come to me, all you who are tired and have heavy loads and I will give you rest….the load I give you to carry is light.”   Matthew 11:28,30

This past week, I have officiated at two funerals, had two conversations with families about hospice, talked with a friend about the loss of her dog, supported a friend through an accident, counseled clients, made a hospital visit, numerous conversations, text messages and emails all related to ministry and the needs of others.  Someone said to me at the end of the week, “You look tired.”  While I am physically tired, my soul and spirit has been filled to overflowing with God’s love and presence.  God has used me and given to me gifts of His Holy Spirit to share with others.

I spent hours with my friend, Tom, before he died helping him to process and release the burdens of this world.  He was carrying the burden of fixing everyone’s life before he could leave this world.  He came to the acceptance of his death and that he had no control on the people he was leaving.  He did not need to make peace in the family.  His life and legacy would be complete at his death, and it would not be influenced by what happened after he was gone.  He told me two days before he died, “I have released it all.”  We talked about the journey of death and when he was anxious, he would just say, “Jesus, I trust you.”  He took the hand of Jesus until Jesus came to take him home to Heaven.

At the end of each conversation I had this week, I prayed with each person and for each situation.  Prayer releases the heavy burden to God.  It was not mine to carry nor fix every aspect of the situation. I was reminded of the words in my Grandma’s favorite hymn, “What A Friend We Have In Jesus” –

“O what peace we often forfeit

O what needless pain we bear

All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer. 

Oh, the burdens of life we tend to carry that cause worry and anxiety to take control of our lives.  Burdens are a part of life, but we were not meant to carry them alone.  Life will have heavy loads of pain, sorrow, sadness, hurt, but when we share the load with God, it becomes lighter.

When I was ordained Elder in the United Methodist Church, the Bishop talked with all the soon to be ordained Elders at a breakfast the day of ordination.  He said something like this – “When you are ordained tonight, you will feel the heaviness of the laying on of hands upon your head.  This is the burden of ministry placed upon you.  When the hands are lifted, you will feel the lightness, the release of the burden.”  This was very powerful to me. I have taken this with me throughout my ministry.  When I rely only on my own strength, knowledge, and ability, I feel the intense weight of everyone and everything.  I think it is mine to fix and control.  It is overwhelming.  But when I go to God first and rely on His strength, the Holy Spirit that is within me and God’s leading, the burden is shared.  God carries me through.  God does not take away the burden but takes the heaviest load of it.

It is being willing to depend on God, to surrender control and humble ourselves knowing that we are not capable of handling it alone.  It is sharing the burden with others, too.  For example, the funeral of my friend, Tom, involved a law enforcement presence.  There were hundreds of details and lots of people involved.  I worked with the leadership of the Highway Patrol accepted their expertise and guidance, and together the service was a dignified celebration of life, and it glorified God.  I shared the burden, and therefore the weight was lighter.

Jesus promises in Matthew 11:28 to carry the load and give us rest.  When we release the burdens of our lives to God, the problem or situation may still be there, but we are not alone.  The Holy Spirit brings peace in the storm and a presence to guide and direct our path.  We can rest knowing we do not have to fix it or control it. God’s got it. Be like my friend, Tom, as he was dying said, “Jesus, I trust you.”  Let’s trust Jesus and allow Jesus to carry the load.

My book – Live Different Moments, Living In The Different and Life Lessons of a Lone Trooper  – Available on Amazon

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Lone-Trooper-Legacy/dp/0998310255/

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Different-passages-through-sorrow/dp/0998310239/

Pieces of the Peace

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”  John 14:27

My dog, Annie was saved from an animal shelter by Pati and the rescue group in which she volunteered. Pati had mainly large dogs in her barn when she adopted Annie from the dog pound.  Pati felt sorry for this little six-month-old beagle puppy and would bring her into her home during the day.  Pati protected Annie from all the other dogs. It was with Pati that Annie first felt loved and human touch.  Pati gave her a little piece of love and hope.

In Pati’s last weeks on earth before her cancer took her to Heaven, her husband, Bob, read my latest book to her – Live Different Moments. She was so touched by the stories of Annie.  It gave her and her family comfort.  Annie gave a piece of love and comfort back to Pati.  Pati gave Annie hope and saved her life, and because of Pati’s selfless love, Annie gave love to me, my family, and all those she came into contact with as a therapy dog.

Annie received a peaceful and contented life with me.  She lived life fully and completely and enjoyed the moments of life.  She saved me in my grief and gave me purpose and a will to keep going.  Annie was a piece of Pati’s last days too.  It was through her life and Pati’s deep faith, that she found peace to let go and be received into the arms of Jesus.

A piece.  It is a small part of the whole.  Just like pieces of a puzzle – need all of them to make the picture complete.  We may play a small role in another person’s life or a dog’s life, and we may feel it is not much or has much value or purpose in the whole scheme of life.  It is necessary to complete the life and to add value.  It is being willing to accept our role and live out our purpose at that moment.

Sometimes, it feels like we fall to pieces. We do not have the ability to cope with our current situation. Our mind seems scattered and unable to think clearly.  It is difficult to control our emotions or even name them.  When life falls apart, it feels like you are unable to function.  Nothing is the same nor will it ever be.  When an object falls to pieces, we usually throw it away.  If we try to repair it, the cracks may still show where it was pieced together. 

When our world seems to be in pieces, allow yourself to fall to pieces and experience the emotions.  Life hurts and bad things happen.  We hurt, we grieve, we feel the loss of loved ones, and our heart feels torn to pieces.  Life may never be the same again.  It will be different and feel different.  There will be rough patches as we attempt to find a new life.  You cannot put it back together like it was.  It is going to be different. 

In a puzzle, you have to take one piece at a time and slowly it comes together.  In life, you need to focus on what is in front of you.  One step at a time and slowly create a different life.  You need to trust that the One who created us can help put the pieces of our broken lives together.

God brings healing to the broken pieces of our hearts.  God will show us peace. Peace is knowing God is with us. Peace is the assurance God will never leave us.  Peace brings a contentment to life even in the midst of chaos and brokenness. Trust God to bring peace in your pieces.

Curled Up In A Blanket

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.”  Psalm 46:1 (RSV)

With the recent artic chill of winter, I have wanted to just curl up in a blanket and hibernate like a bear.  It feels too cold to move and much easier to just wait until the cold has passed to engage in life.  But I have still dragged myself out of bed each morning to walk and run in the frigid morning.  Yes, you may think it is crazy to run in below zero windchill, but I feel like I accomplished something at the end of my run.  I did not let the cold defeat me.  Yes, the warmth of my bed was so comfortable, and it was tempting to stay wrapped in my blanket, but my determination to stay fit and spend time with God pushed me out from under those warm blankets.

Life can be difficult, and it feels easier to escape from the hard parts of life.  Sometimes we rationalize that “Someone else will do it better.”  “Why try?” “I’ll mess it up.” Or “I will be turned down anyway, so I need to protect myself from hurt.”  We defeat ourselves even before putting in any effort.  The negative chatter in our heads gets loud, and we feel like a failure even before we put one foot on the floor.

Nobody is immune to these negative thoughts.  It is whether we dwell there and take up residence in these thoughts that makes the difference.  I am attempting to market my new book – Live Different Moments.  I want to glorify God and give my dog, Annie a legacy that her life is still making a difference.  I keep praying for direction, but those negative thoughts creep in especially after being disappointed by the paths I have attempted.  Part of me wants to give up and just curl up in my blanket and relax.  I ask myself, “Why am I creating so much work for myself at this stage of life?”  I could quit, but that is not what my heart desires nor what I believe God desires for me.  God gave me my dog, Annie for a purpose, and God gave me words for the book.  I am called to share God’s word to me with others.  So, I keep praying and trying and attempting and letting go of the frustrations.  I keep surrendering and depending on God.

I share this example from my current situation to let you know surrendering to God needs to be a daily occurrence and with each individual situation in our lives.  We can take the easy path – just curl up and exist.  Oh, yes, we do need to rest, reflect, and renew our spirit and not allow the coldness and negativity of the world to permeate our whole being forever.  Rest is different than curling up and giving up.

The cold chill of the world can consume our thoughts.  That is when worry finds an opening- “Maybe God does not care.” “Maybe I have to work on this by myself.”  NEVER!  God is always with us.  God always cares.  God will not reveal the whole solution at once.  God asks us to take one step at a time.  One and done.  Trust God with the steps.  Rest in God’s Presence.  We need to abide in the “shelter of His wings.” (Psalm 61:4)  This reminds me that God has me.  I do not have to create the steps.  I need to listen and come closer to God so that God will reveal to me each step.  This requires patience to wait on God’s timing not my own.  This is very difficult to do but necessary.

So curling up in the shelter of God’s wings is a good place to be.  God is our strength and our protection.  God wants us to rest in Him.  But God does not let us stay comfortable here.  God pushes us forward to live life.  Life may still have times of being really hard, frustrating, disappointing, but God promises to be with us.  We get to curl up in the shelter of His wings to be renewed and receive His strength and guidance for the rough road ahead.

Here’s the Amazon link to my new book – Live Different Moments

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

Check out my page on Facebook – Living In The Different

Stopped In Your Tracks

“The Lord said to Elijah, “Go, stand in front of me on the mountain, and I will pass by you.” Then a very strong wind blew until it caused the mountains to fall apart and large rocks to break in front of the Lord.  But the Lord was not in the wind.  After the wind, there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake.  After the earthquake, there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire.  After the fire, there was a quiet gentle sound.”                                                       I Kings 19:11-12

On a recent run in the morning, the wind gusts were strong.  It was great when the wind was at my back, and it seemed to push me forward. But when I turned the corner and the wind hit me in the face, it stopped me in my tracks for a moment.  I could not move because of the force of the wind.  “Wow,” I said.  I had met the force of the wind and the wind won for a moment. 

Life stops us in our tracks – a diagnosis, an accident, a death, a disappointment, and the list goes on and on.  “Wow!” We cannot move nor comprehend what just happened.  Life stands still for a moment.  The force of pain, sadness or evil takes over, and it is so foreign to us that we do not know what to do.  We are just numb, and life feels like it just stops.

Life can also take our breath away in its amazing beauty.  In some of my morning runs, I see the sunrise and when I turn the corner and look straight at the brilliant beginning of the day, I have no words.  I just raise my hands and worship the glory of God in the morning light.  God takes my breath and my words away as I witness His glory.

I am sharing some often-used phrases to describe the feelings of life. Life can also give us cold chills.  For instance, when someone who is dying, talks about seeing loved ones who are in Heaven with them now on earth.  When a little boy sees angels in his house and recognizes one angel as his grandmother who is in Heaven.  When someone tells a story of how God protected them and saved them. We get cold chills knowing God is present in those moments.

Life stops us in our tracks in the good and in the struggles.  It pauses us.  The moment is beyond our human comprehension.  Even in those moments that we barely can breathe because of the devastation and pain, God is still with us.  We usually do not see God.  Elijah did not see God in the wind, the earthquake, and the fire but God was present.  God is not in it, but He allows the bad to happen.  We cannot comprehend why God allows it.  Our desire is for bad things not to happen especially for those who believe and worship God.  It does not make any sense.  We are angry and think God is not in control.  That is when we try to take control of our own lives, but we cannot make it better or fix it on our own.  We may think we are being punished.

When life stops you in your tracks, takes your breath away, or gives you cold chills, look around, God is with you.  God is not loud.  God is as close as your breath and is the spirit within you.  God is that gentle sound, that gentle whisper that tells us, “I am with you.”  Do not be afraid.”  Your life will have earthquakes that devastate you, fires that destroys relationships, and winds that send you in wrong directions, but life also gives you the gentle whisper of hope found in listening to God speak to you.  We desire to control life and prevent the whirlwind of chaos, but it is part of life.

Life will stop you in your tracks.  Stand still and listen for God’s gentle sound.  Reach out and take the hand of God.  Live in this moment.  Be grateful for God’s presence in the chaos of life.  You are not alone.  Breathe in the Holy Spirit.

Here’s the Amazon link to my new book – Live Different Moments

Live Different Moments: Finding Contentment and Peace after Change and Loss: Sturtz, Elaine J. Clinger: 9798989125708: Amazon.com: Books

Check out my page on Facebook – Living In The Different