Confusion of Days

“But you do not know what will happen tomorrow!  Your life is a mist.  You can see it for a short time, but then it goes away.  So you should say, “If the Lord wants, we will live and do this or that.”   James 4:14-15 NCV

This past week has been confusing to me, not that it takes much at times to confuse me.  The holiday was on a Tuesday, and my schedule was different.  I did different activities, and I was confused about what day of the week it was.  Sometimes that happens on a trip or vacation when everything is different.  It is difficult to remember what day it is because the routine has been changed.  Though it does not matter the day of the week while one is relaxing on a trip unless you have made plans on a certain day.

We are people of calendars, schedules, and time.  It may feel like the schedule controls life instead of life controlling the calendar.  At the beginning of each month, I change my wooden calendar that hangs on my kitchen wall.  I move the numbers around for that month and place the month name in the slot at the top.  The whole month is before me, and I am excited about a new month of adventures ahead.  Then it seems I look at the calendar again and the days have flown past, and someone has removed the numbers and jumped ahead in the month.  What have I done with the days God has given to me?

This year I am keeping a calendar journal.  I will write the date and a highlight for each day.  Most entries involve who I connected with and what adventure I experienced.  If I forget to write it down each night, I get confused about what happened which day.

Enough confession on my part.  We all forget and get confused at times in life.  Confusion is a lack of understanding or being unclear in your mind about something.  We doubt ourselves and question what is real.  In loss and grief, it is being indecisive and hesitant in taking steps forward by yourself because it seems overwhelming and impossible to do life alone.  Confusion comes in the simple and natural day to day occurrences.  It is when our minds are thinking about something in the future while we have not finished our current task.  Or the mind gets distracted and wanders to some place other than what is in front of us.  Then we come back to the present moment and are confused about what we were doing or what we came into the room to pick up.

Confusion happens also in what we believe about a topic, an opinion someone has, what is God’s will and plan.  We desire to be knowledgeable on issues and topics but with so many diverse opinions, we struggle and become confused about what is right and what we should believe.

Then we attempt to discern God’s will in our lives or in a situation.  How?  We pray, we read the Bible, we talk with trusted Christian friends and leaders, but we still are confused.  I have learned to wait and rest in God’s presence until God reveals His will and my next step.  I believe confusion is more about the desire to see the whole picture and plan instead of just one step at a time.  It may not make sense but that is when we trust God one step at a time. 

When it is confusion over what day it is, I stop now and ask myself, “Does it matter?”  Today is the day God made and I rejoice in the gift of today.  That is where I begin.  I focus for a moment on my calendar – is it a workday, an appointment day, a scheduled event day?  If it is, I bring God’s presence into the schedule.  If it is an open day with no definite plans, I pray, “God put on my path the people you have scheduled for me to see and keep me open to the adventure for the day.”

Day to day confusion also comes when we lack confidence in ourselves and lose focus on what is important in life.  We focus on the world, the negative and the overwhelming tasks that never end.  We have the inability to prioritize.  We start so many things and never complete them, and then it becomes overwhelming.  For example, we have stuff.  It piles up.  We are confused about what to do with it all, so we do nothing and the piles get bigger.  We store it, but when we attempt to sort through it, we cannot decide what to do with it.  It is the same with our mind and thoughts.  We stuff our emotions and feelings and hurts and pains down inside.  We are confused about how to sort them out and release them, so we just keep stuffing them inside.  Our minds rehearse over and over these feelings, past hurts, and trauma.

So how do we overcome the confusion?  The solution to both the physical stuff and the thoughts is to purge and simplify.  Keep what is necessary and healthy and needed and release the rest to God.  Confusion is a lack of focus.  Begin focusing on the presence of God and the life that is in front of you, and the confusion vanishes.