Am I Who?

“God said to Moses, “I am who I am.  This is what you are to say to the Israelites.  I am has sent me to you.”    Exodus 3:14

In recent social and family gatherings, I have had to introduce myself or be introduced.  I said, “I am the youngest sibling.”  “I am his friend.”  “I am his cousin.”  “I am the minister.”  “I am their aunt.”  When I think about these introductions and relationships, I have used the present tense of “I am.”  This is who I currently am in relationship with others.  We define ourselves based on relationships – “I am the daughter of…”  I am the spouse of ….”  “I am the aunt of ….”  “I am the sister of ….”

As we journey on this path of life, each turn defines us.  We begin to realize that other people do not need to control who we are just define the relationship.  We do not need to please others as our primary purpose in life.  We have experienced struggles and heartaches, joys and successes that have defined us.  Our relationships help mold us and guide us into becoming who we were created to be.  The essence of who we are though was created by God.  God gave us our physical features from the moment we were conceived in our mother’s womb.  We each have gifts and talents that we develop and refine over our lifetime.  How we have reacted and processed the trials of life has also defined us.

When life changes, who we are is re-defined by the change.  Someone said to me recently, “I just want the happy me back.”  We desire who we were before the grief and life change.  We are forever changed.  I am accepting it is good to be me – the me God intended me to be not who others want me to be.  I accepted I have grown, matured, and changed because of my own grief journey and changes in life.  I know the sad parts of me that have changed – the emptiness, the loneliness, the loss of relationship, and how everything is different.  But I also can now see the positive changes that the grief journey has given to me to define who I am now.  I am seeking the good out of the bad.

My priorities are clearer and defined.  I am able to experience the present and be in the moment because I know how precious each moment of life really is.  I am focused on relationships not on tasks as much.  Things will get done, and material possessions are not important. I can sit and just be still in God’s presence.  I am more aware of God’s visible expression in each day – His glory, and I hold His hand throughout the day to bring me into the present moment.  I sigh more and let go of things quicker.  I live less in worry, and more in trust.  I ask myself if someone or something is my responsibility.  Most of the time the answer is “no”, and I can release to God the responsibility.  When we begin to accept, we do not need to be a people pleaser, we free ourselves to be who we were created to be, not who someone else wants us to be.

There is freedom in being who we were created to be.  I am who I am.  I may not be what I thought I was going to be in the life I had envisioned for my future.  But I am where God wants me to be right now.  God created me.  God loves me.  God forgives and accepts me and so do I.  Let’s repeat that statement for ourselves – God created you.  God loves you.  God forgives and accepts you and you need to love and accept yourself.

Through this journey, I have learned it is not selfish to care for myself and make decisions based on what is best for me according to God’s will.  My purpose is to glorify God.  As I become and you become more yourself, we find peace and a contentment.  Life is different, but in this different is where we live.  Be bold.  Say “no” to what you do not want in your life.  Say “yes” to becoming you.  Find your peace and contentment.  It takes time but allow God to be present in your moments and God will take you quietly by the hand and lead you into this chapter of life to become all God created you to be.  Trust.  Take a step.  I am Me!