Rushing The Process
/
“I waited patiently for the Lord. He turned to me and heard my cry.” Psalm 40:1
After the recent winter storm that dumped ice and snow on a huge part of the region, I have heard the statement, “I am done with winter.” Many have posted on their Facebook page how many days until Spring. When it is Spring, people will be tired of the rain and want Summer. Then the countdown to Christmas. We never seem to be content in our present season or situation.
Even in doing a project, we jump ahead without completing the necessary steps and must go back and follow the procedure to finish the task I was told by my dad to slow down and wait many times. I was getting ahead of myself. I tend to anticipate what comes next and want to be prepared.
I have been updating my condo. The major projects like painting are complete. The flooring is in process. My desire to have it all done has been slowed due to outside circumstances. My past thought pattern was to hurry and complete everything in the shortest time possible. I am trying to put more thought in the process and in the decisions – not just fill the condo because there is an empty space. I am attempting to enjoy the pondering and waiting for inspiration.
I have always been a person who thinks ahead and am already in the next task in my head before I finish what is in front of me. I am trying to change this thought pattern by telling myself, “Finish this current task completely before going to the next one. One and done.”
But there are tasks in life like laundry, dishes and cleaning that once completed, I know I will need to do them again soon. I have been learning to just focus on completing it today. I cannot rush and complete it for the future. That is impossible.
In grief, we desire to rush through the process. Grief is more like laundry and dishes. You go through some of the same feelings over and over. The issue is we do not allow ourselves to complete the feeling and accept that it is OK to feel this way. It just hurts too much. Therefore, we need to give ourselves permission to feel the emotion in the moment. It will come back another time – that is the process of grief. Each time it comes back we can go a little further with the feelings. Stop when reality becomes too much. Just like we need to stop when tasks and chores are too overwhelming, or we are too tired and come back to it at a later time.
We would like to rush through the process and not have to feel all this pain, hurt and intensity. We think it will get better and life will return to some type of normalcy. We want to come to a time where we do not have all these overwhelming feelings. We really just want our old life back. We want to rewind the clock and live the life we once enjoyed.
Our minds feel jumbled and lack focus. It is even hard to figure out what needs to be done, let alone complete the task. In my grief, I have learned to ask God, “What do I need to do next? What is really important? What can wait?” You cannot rush the grieving process. So let us slow down. Feel what we feel. Distract and escape for periods when it gets too intense. But come back to it, and slowly take the steps to feel and heal.
In grief, waiting and being patient are important ingredients. As we slow down, God hears our crying and feels our tears as they drop from our eyes. Slowing the grief process is not what we desire. It is hard, painful, and emotional. It is not where we want to stay, but it is the journey we need to go through in our own time. God will take our hand and walk us through.
