Living More
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“You are God’s children whom he loves, so try to be like him. Live a life of love just as Christ loved us and gave himself for us as a sweet-smelling offering and sacrifice to God.” Ephesians 5:1-2
I recently preached a sermon in a small church outside my hometown. The sermon was titled “More Like Jesus.” The focus of the sermon was to become more like Jesus in the dailyness of life not just in rituals and disciplines of the faith. Being aware of God’s presence in the moments of life.
As I have walked this journey of grief and life, I have finally accepted that God just loves me. It is not based on how much I do for Him or how many tasks or disciplines I fulfill. God loves me for me. I am His child. God did not punish me for not being good enough. He loves me and gives comfort to me because God is my Heavenly Father. God has walked with me even when I was not aware of His presence nor felt it.
On the journey, I am learning to live more in the present and focus on the moments. It is living one day at a time and not worrying about what could happen. I am finding joy in the simple things of life and paying more attention to God’s creation around me. The clouds have been more intense, and I enjoy watching them to see if I can find images in them – shapes like faces, dogs, and other animals. I try to watch the sunset each evening. Sometimes the colors are beautiful and sometimes the sun just goes down as an orange, yellow or pink ball. Through the sunset, God reminds me that some days have an outward joy and other days may seem plain and ordinary, but we can still find moments of peace. Yes, we all have tasks and routines and pains and grief, but how do we live more and focus on moments or flashes of God’s gifts around us?
“OK.” You say. “I know that living in moments and seeing good around me is great, but I feel like I am living in a storm of pain and loss right now. All I see is the storm.” I get it. You have prayed for God to calm the storm and bring healing to your heart, but so far it has not happened. You go through the motions of your faith, but you are tired of living in the storm.
As I read the Scriptures, I found that Jesus literally walked through the storm. He did not immediately calm the storm, but walked in it and walked toward the disciples who were afraid. I believe Jesus walks with us in our own storms of life. We tend to focus only on the loss, grief, storm, and heartache especially in the beginning. As we journey, it is attempting to change our focus to Jesus not the storm. For it was only when the disciples recognized Jesus and focused on him did the storm begin to calm. Your circumstances may not change, but you will begin to change from within. I guarantee it because I have been there.
I have walked the journey of grief as a pastor with many in the church family, and as a hospice chaplain with many patients preparing to let go. I even experienced the death of my parents and dear family members. But nothing prepared me for the emotions and chaos of life when my husband, Dave, died. Everything changed and my life and hope for the future was shattered. But what I found in the depth of grief and pain and loss was a deeper and closer relationship with Jesus. Out of the storm, Jesus took my hand.
The flood of sorrow cleanses the soul of what is trivial and changes the priorities of our lives. God has put to use what He has put me through. Because of my own loss, God has placed on my path others who are beginning the grief journey. God has used my sorrow and loss to bring hope and comfort to others. I have found purpose in the pain and the storm. I am living more each day and becoming more like Jesus in the process or at least that is my desire.
