What Do You Want?

“But no one asked, “What do you want?” or Why are you speaking to her?” John 4:27

I recently saw a boat with the name “WANTneed.”  What do you want?  A want is a desire, and it is different than a need. We are seeking people trying to figure out who we are and what is our purpose in life.  We desire to be loved and to be accepted.  The woman at the well in the fourth chapter of the Gospel of John had a want and desire.  I have always connected to her story as a woman.  She was rejected by others and felt totally alone.  Why else would she come in the middle of the day to the well when nobody else was there? She was seeking more in her life but did not know how to find it.  She tried relationships and they did not work.  She tried religion but did not understand.  She was seeking a purpose to life but being a woman in the first century, she had no worth or purpose to society.  She just existed and daily survived until she encountered Jesus.

Jesus knew all about her and still loved her.  He gave her life purpose and filled her with the living water of life.  Jesus did not change the circumstances of her life.  He gave her purpose and meaning in her current life.  Jesus did not change her relationships with others but revealed to her who he was – the Messiah, the Christ, the Savior of the World.  But most importantly, her Savior and the person who loved her.  The woman had been attempting to do it all on her own and kept messing up her life.  Jesus comes into her world and changes her view of herself and her world.

What do you want in your grief?  We all desire to wake up from this nightmare and have our loved one with us.  This is not physically possible.  So, what do you desire on this grief journey?  You may be experiencing life like the woman at the well – just existing and barely surviving each moment.  You do not see purpose or meaning in your life right now.  Give yourself permission to be where you are right now.  It is OK.  We have all felt this way in our grief for moments and periods of time.  This is a natural part of grief.

Some of you are living in the reality of grief.  What do you want?  This is a difficult question to answer because nothing in life is clear and decisions are impossible to make.  You know life goes on, but it is not the life you chose.  How do I live in this new and different life?  You want to find purpose and meaning in this chapter of life.  This is difficult because the one you want to share life with and who gave meaning to your life is no longer with you.  What are you seeking now?

In grief, our view of possessions and what has value has changed.  The things society regards as valuable seem to pale in comparison to the love we have lost.  We all want to be loved but love now comes in a different form.  Love comes through memories.  Love comes through shared time.  Love comes in unexpected relationships.  Love comes from the One who is Love.  God is love, and in our grief we turn to the one who loves us and comforts us.  We recognize God has never left us even when we have been angry and blamed him for the death.  Jesus told the woman at the well, “I am he.”  I am the Messiah.  I am the one you have been seeking.  I am the one you didn’t know you were really looking for as you went from relationship to relationship.  Jesus speaks to us too – “I am he.”  I am the one who comforts you.  I am the one who understands your grief.  I am the one who will continue to walk with you in this journey of life.  I am with you. 

That is really what we want.  We do not want to be alone.  We want to feel the presence of our loved one.  We want to feel the love.  Jesus is love and Jesus is with us.  Yes, life is different than we expected and wanted.  But this is the life we have. We thirst for something to quench the parchedness of grief.  Grief leaves us empty.  We may feel almost dead inside.  But Jesus comes to quench our thirst and basically give us life again.  He gives us living water.  That means, he sits with us until we are able to walk with him.  He nourishes us on his word and presence.  He gives us hope when life seems hopeless.  It is trusting when we cannot see and believing even when we feel like there is no hope. 

What do you want?