Rest In Relationship
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“Come to me, all of you who are tired and have heavy loads, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28
Only in a handful of relationships of our lives are we truly vulnerable, completely honest and open, and feel accepted and loved. In most relationships, we set healthy boundaries and have parts of ourselves that we keep hidden within. We keep inside our fears, our sins, and our mess ups to most people. We may fear the judgment of even our closest friends if they knew our thoughts and our failings. Even in our relationship with God, we tend to hide from God our lack of faith and trust. While we know it is impossible to keep anything from God, we attempt to compartmentalize our faith and our bad choices.
Relationships tend to change in our loss and grief. We feel abandoned by family and friends who have been a part of our lives, but who no longer meet our needs or expectations. We realize we have changed. Our world has changed dramatically, so of course, the relationships in our world will change. We had not expected this to happen. The one relationship that was stable and helped us deal with changes and the struggles of life is gone. Our person is the one we shared our feelings and emotions. The one we vented to and released all the stuff inside us. Now what do we do with them?
The term “soul mate” is a popular phrase in society and movies. We search for our “soul mate.” It is viewed as the person we are destined to be with and who understands us. To me, a soul mate is one with whom we can be vulnerable, open and honest, and accepts and loves us for who we are but also challenges us to grow and be who we were created to be. It is the person you are totally at ease with, and you rest your soul in his/her presence.
What does it mean to rest in the presence of someone? While it does include the ability to physically rest with a person and to relax without judgment or obligation, it means so much more. To rest in the presence of someone means you can say anything, share anything, and express your emotions and all is accepted, processed, discussed, forgiven, challenged and the relationship grows deeper and stronger. Wow! Now that’s a relationship.
I believe this rest relationship is fully experienced in Jesus. He tells us that when we are tired and have heavy loads, He will give us rest. But I also believe we receive a glimpse of this relationship through our special person here on earth. I have experienced “rest” in a relationship where I could just be me. I was loved and accepted. We could talk for hours and share our views, our past, our hopes for the future, our faith and even the things that bothered us. We had different goals and circles of influence, but we could walk into each other’s world and enhance the interactions. We also could help carry the burden for each other in family situations. We were blessed with each other.
A relationship emptiness occurs in our grief. While we know our loved one is no longer physically with us, we had not expected the lack of stability, security, and comfort. We rested in that assurance. Nobody can replace or fill that relationship hole. I have tried and it does not work. I am learning to rest in my relationship with Jesus. When the burden of life gets heavy, I come to Jesus. When I have no idea what to do next, I come to Jesus. When I am misunderstood or judged, I come to Jesus. I come tired and weary and heavy laden, and I rest in Jesus’ presence. I do not always receive immediate answers, but I receive rest from the heavy burden. I allow Jesus to carry the burden of life. I trust in Him even when I see no way, no hope, no direction.
Family and friends will always disappoint us. They cannot complete us. They cannot fill the hole in our heart and lives. Only Jesus can carry the load. Everything in life comes down to relationships. Rest in the love relationship of Jesus. He does not always take away the pain and sadness of our loss, but he always helps carry the load.
