No Replacement

“Therefore, if any one is in Christ, he is a new creation, the old has passed away behold, the new has come.”    2 Corinthians 5:17

My mom had her knee replaced.  She had some complications but over time it healed well and became a natural part of her body.  My husband, Dave had two hip replacements, a knee replacement and his back fused with a couple rods and pins.  He set off all the alarms going through security at the airport.  Over time, each of these replacements became a part of his body and helped him walk and function daily in life without pain.  After my mom and Dave died, those replacement parts were not needed in Heaven.  Their new bodies were whole and complete in Heaven.  My current husband, Jerry, had a knee replacement almost a year ago.  It has helped him walk without pain and each day he gets stronger as the knee joint replacement becomes a natural part of his body.

While body part replacements are a natural part of life, relationships are not replaceable.  When my mom died, I had other people in my life who were “mom figures” but nobody replaced my mom in my heart.  When my grandmother died, I had many who were my “adopted Grandmas” but my Grandma remained my one special grandma.  When my husband, Dave, died, I realized the love and difference he made in my life cannot be replaced.  Each person who touches our lives has a unique connection to our hearts.  Nobody can fill that in the same way because each person is different and the love we have for each person is specific to them.

If you had a child die, I am so sorry.  Another child does not replace that child.  You have a hole in your heart for that child.  You still have that child but in a different form in your life.  That child remains the age in your heart that they died.  While we may remember them on their birthday and talk about another year older, in our hearts they never age.

If you lost a spouse and later remarried, your new spouse does not replace your former spouse.  Each marriage is distinctive.  No two relationships are the same.  I am who I am because of the influence of my husband, Dave.  Our marriage strengthened me, made me even more independent and confident and deepened my relationship with Jesus.  I am further along the path of life because of my marriage to Dave.  If I have a new relationship, it does not take away my love for Dave.  The love I have for Dave remains in my heart but now in a different form.

Nothing replaces our loved one in our lives.  A hole will always remain.  Sometimes we try to put other things or people in the hole, but nothing is enough to fill the void or hole in our hearts. In our grief journey, we recognize nothing can take the place of walking with Jesus who gives us peace and comfort on the journey.  No activity, hobby, food, sports, or earthly relationship can replace our dependency on Jesus.  He walks with us in our grief, cries with us, give to us His Spirit to be with us, and sustains us in our loneliness and sadness.  We are a new creation because of Jesus.  Life is different because of each loss.  We are different but better because we have loved and been influenced by our loved ones.