Alone at the Table

“He brought me to the banquet table, and his banner over me is love.” Song of Solomon 2:4

My sister-in-law, Alice, took her place at the Heavenly banquet table this past week. My first memories of Alice involve her making a meal and being the perfect hostess. She would not allow anyone in the kitchen and had everything matching - the perfect the dish, matching placements and served on warmed plates. Alice had prepared and served thousands of meals, and she made each one special. She had her way of doing each task associated with the meal. Over time, she allowed me to assist in the kitchen when we visited, but I always tried to do everything like Alice wanted it done. My last visit with her and my brother-in-law, Don was last summer. Alice was declining physically but still had her way of preparing and setting the table. She allowed me to do more of the work, but it was still done with the guidance of Alice.

Alice is in Heaven now at the banquet table of her Lord and Savior, Jesus. I believe she has a job now in Heaven serving and preparing the table, but also she is being served. The sadness of her loss at this time is that we as a family cannot celebrate her life and eat at the table and share memories together. The funeral meal is a time for family to share a meal, but more importantly to share stories and memories. It is a time for family to sit around a table and share the emotions of the day and the love of family. In a recent sermon, Rev. Jim Stauffer shared about funeral potatoes which are usually called cheesy potatoes. He shared about the importance of this meal after the funeral and the fellowship that occurs during this time. The funeral potatoes are a staple at most funeral meals. The familiarity of the food is part of the specialness of the meal. As a pastor, I usually knew what would be served at the funeral meal. There was comfort in knowing that something that day would be normal or familiar.

When my Aunt Alice died, we gathered as a family to celebrate her life and gathered around her grave to say good0bye. What I remember most was sitting in the basement of the church sharing a meal with my siblings and cousins and then gathering in a circle and sharing memories. My cousins shared their mom’s view of events while we shared my dad’s view. They were brother and sister but had a totally different view of life events. We laughed together and were able to give thanks for their lives and for being family. The love and memories came from the table.

As a child, my family ate our meals together at the kitchen table. Not every meal was perfect. Sometimes the food was soggy or burnt because we had to wait for my dad to finish his chores on the farm. For my parents, it was important to always eat together as a family. There was spilled milk, broken dishes and one time a broken table leg that sent all the dishes and food crashing to the floor.

It is at the table we meet Jesus. He created a meal in which we remember His sacrifice for us. We gather as a body of believers and share in the communion meal. A meal of remembrance. The bread is the body of Jesus and the cup is the blood of Jesus. We take the bread and cup and eat and drink in remembrance of Jesus. We have sadness in His death but celebrate His life and resurrection. Because of this remembrance, we are given the gift of eating at the Heavenly banquet table that is prepared for all who believe and accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior.

In grief, the table can also be a place of sadness. Our loved one is not sitting across from us anymore, and we may now be eating alone. At first, we may not even sit at the table because it is too painful. After Dave died, I never sat at our table but at the counter in the next three places I lived. I even gave away my table to my niece and her family. I did not like eating alone. But over time, I came to realize that Jesus was always at the table with me. His banner of love was always over me. Now, I am again eating at a table. I have come to realize the table is a place of love. A place of sharing, A place of communication. A place where food is not the focus, but the relationship with the one who shares the table with you.

One day, the body of believers will gather at the banquet table in Heaven and share in the Heavenly meal with our Father and our Savior, Jesus. In our grief, we hold on to this hope that someday we will be sharing with our loved one in the fellowship of all believers. While we may be physically alone at the table, Jesus is always beside us. I know that my sister-in-law, Alice has taken her seat at the Heavenly banquet table and someday we will celebrate her life and sit together as family sharing a meal and memories of her life and love.