The Loss of Touch

Then Jesus said, “Who touched me?….Someone did touch me, because I felt power go out from me.” Luke 8:45-46

The power of a touch. To be close to someone you love. To hug. To hold hands. To feel the warm embrace of love. I’m a hugger. I did not grow up in a family that hugged or outwardly expressed love. I knew I was loved. I saw my parents hug and embrace one another. I became a hugger in ministry. As I greeted people on Sundays, I not only shook their hands but began to hug people as I developed relationships with them. The touch is an outward expression of genuine care and love.

During this time of social distancing where touch is discouraged, many people who are huggers and live alone feel an even deeper sense of isolation and aloneness. Church and other social gatherings is where many people receive their hugs. My first husband, Dave, was known for his hugs. Widows and older ladies used to line up at church to receive one of his hugs. Our bodies need hugs for mental and emotional health and to feel someone else cares about us. In our grief, the loss of our loved one’s hugs and touch brings the intensity of loneliness and sadness. We long for one more hug, one more touch, one more kiss. We feel loss in so many ways but touch is not just a physical loss, but an emotional need that is now missing in our daily lives. A hug gives us the assurance we are not alone, that somebody cares for us, and it gives us an emotional stability. When life seems to be in chaos around us, a hug gives calmness and assurance we are not in this alone. Somebody is right beside you.

In our grief, family and friends may reach out with a hug and touch to give us comfort and to show they care. While we receive the hug and touch as a gift, it is never enough. Our desire is a hug from the one whom we are grieving. Just one more. Sometimes, we can close our eyes and remember the hug and touch almost to the point of feeling it again. When that moment comes, we never want it to end. It may come for just a second. I received that warm hug moment from Dave and from a dear friend that died. I felt their presence and touch for a second, but it was enough to assure me that they were with me in a different form now. God gave me a gift that I needed in my grief.

Throughout Scripture, God is reaching out to His children. God breathes life into Adam and Eve, and God walks with them in the Garden. God reaches out His right hand to lead, guide, protect and save throughout the Old Testament. In the Gospels, Jesus touches those He heals. When the woman who had been bleeding for twelve years touches Jesus, He felt the power of healing go from him. Jesus feels the desperate touch of the woman, but more importantly he feels her emotional touch. In our grief, when the touch of our loved one is not possible, God will touch us with His love and presence. God released His power to touch our hearts, to heal the brokenness within us, and to hold us close when the tears fall and the heart feels like it is breaking into a million pieces. This touch was the only touch that helped in my grief. The hug of a child was the next best touch, but even that was not enough. My heart was broken and nobody’s touch was enough.

Jesus is always enough. Jesus touches our inner being and soul and draws us close even in the nightmare of loneliness. When we have tried everything else like the woman in the Gospel of Luke who had tried everything to be healed, we along with the woman turn to the only one who can touch us with the healing our hearts and souls desire. The touch of Jesus brings us comfort in our grief. We still long for the physical touch of our loved one, but the inner soul needs the touch of Jesus’ love. Healing in grief begins from the inside. The longing will remain. Take a moment and breathe in God’s Holy Spirit. Close your eyes and allow Jesus to wrap His arms of love around you. Feel his presence and touch.