The Different Familiar

“Cast all your anxieties on him, for he cares about you.” I Peter 5:7

For the last two months I have been running each morning with my dog in the field across from where I am now living. It is only two tenths of a mile around the field, so I have been doing twenty laps each morning. The scenery is the same and it would appear to be a boring run in circles every single morning. What makes this now familiar path different every day is first, the weather. Sometimes it has been cold and rainy, some days are sunny, and other days the wind takes my breath away. Whatever the weather, I still run with my faithful companion. But the biggest reason it is so different each day is because it is my time of prayer and my prayers are familiar but different each day. God speaks to me in different ways but in a familiar presence.

Sometimes, though, in the evening I will walk my dog on this path but go in the opposite direction. The walk feels boring with anxiousness some days, and then I realize I have not taken Jesus with me on the walk. I am just walking to accomplish the task but not enjoying the journey. Life at times feels like we are going in the opposite direction we had planned to go. We become anxious and worried about where life is taking us. It is not where we want to go, and we feel that we are alone on the journey. It is then we need to stop and take Jesus’ hand to remind us that we are not alone and that just being with Jesus is the main purpose of the journey.

We are living in our familiar places, but life is so different right now. With the stay at home mandate and everything that was normal and familiar has changed in our society. Life is familiar but it is so different from where we have been. It may feel like you are just going in circles and not accomplishing what you had intended or planned. Your task list and vacation plans have changed with no plans to reschedule or accomplish in the near future. To just abide and remain with Jesus does not seem enough. But I believe that is where God is calling us in these days of pandemic and in our grief.

Grief feels like a merry-go-round going around in circles and not being productive or making progress. It is in these times of grief that God wants us to just be still - “Be still and know that I am God.” (Psalm 41:10) We are to be present with God. Hold his hand. Allow our hearts to be sad and cry and give ourselves permission to heal and grieve. It is in this time of being at home that God just wants us to be present. To see the beauty around us. To walk in His presence. To slow down our lives. To reassess our priorities and where we are really going in life.

In our time of grief and loss, allow yourself to go in circles for a time. Your world has completely changed and everything is different even if you are in familiar surroundings. Without your loved one, nothing is the same and it takes time to figure out this different way of life. You may look at your house or other family members and everything and everyone is familiar but your view has changed. You see life differently in this “normal” place. It is understanding that others may not see life as that much different. There is an emptiness but some just walk around the hole or find other things to fill the emptiness.

Life is guaranteed to change even when we try to hold on to the familiar and the daily routine. Just like we had no control over the changes the virus has brought into our lives, we have no control over death and the changes loss brings to our lives. What we do have control over is to whom or what we surrender control of our lives. We can allow anxiety and worry to take over our lives or we can “cast all of our anxieties” on Jesus because he cares for you. When we take Jesus’ hand, He walks with us in the familiar and in the different. He also carries all our burdens and worries. We need to trust Him even when we feel the emptiness and loss. Jesus is still with us in the different. He rides the merry-go-round of life with us when we cannot seem to move forward. He will also stop the merry-go-round of life for a time to help us heal, re-focus and just be still and abide with us.

Life is different. Life is familiar. Life is different in the familiar.