Darkness In Hope

“That night, some shepherds were in the fields nearby watching their sheep.  Then an angel of the Lord stoop before them….and they became frightened.”   Luke 2:8-9

This past week I experienced the magic of the season through Christmas light displays.  We drove through the millions of lights at the National Trail Raceway Light show with lights twinkling to the beat of the Christmas music.  We experienced a hometown Christmas as we drove through the Home for the Holidays Christmas lights in the park in my hometown.  We also experienced the individual Christmas decorations in neighborhoods around us.  Even our own tree and a few lights outside our own home sparkled in the darkness.  All these lights needed darkness to shine their brightest.

Each year there is an anticipation and excitement in our hearts to experience the joys of Christmas.  A memory lingers in our hearts that Christmas is filled with joy and peace and hope.  We remember for a moment and in that memory, all seems good with the world and our lives.  We dwell in the memory of lights, but then darkness enters our thoughts.  The darkness of grief overwhelms the joy of the Christmas season, and the thought of preparing for another Christmas without our loved one seems impossible.

The darkness brings a different feel and quietness to our souls.  At times in our lives, we long for night to come so that we can rest from the activities of the day and sleep.  But when grief enters our lives, darkness brings an inner loneliness that is deeper than that of the day. We recognize we are truly alone, and the quietness does not bring rest but anxiety and fear.  The night is no longer welcoming and familiar but frightening and intense.

On that first Christmas night, the shepherds knew darkness and the quiet of the night.  It was familiar to them.  They knew the shadows of the sheep, the reflections from the moon and even the sounds in the distance.  Nothing unusual happened for the shepherds at night.  The darkness came every night.  In our grief, darkness becomes familiar but unwanted.  We desire to escape into the darkness but when we do, the loneliness and fear creep into the dark.  We desire the presence of our loved one but find only memories and fear.  For the shepherds, they needed the darkness to see the light and hope of the angels.  The angels spoke to quiet their fear and give them hope in the darkness of their spiritual lives.

The dark night of my own soul came in my grief.  But it was in this darkness that God revealed the light of hope.  Oh, this light did not come quickly or even brightly at first.  It was only a flicker of hope that was easily extinguished in the loneliness and pain of grief.  But that flicker remained – a hope of a hope in the darkness.  The angel of God’s holy presence came and sat with me in my grief giving me comfort but never taking away the sadness or loss.  As I sat in the darkness, God’s light began to shine brighter in my heart, and I knew my loved one was with God and God was with me. 

The hope that came was not that life would be normal, familiar or the same again, but that God was with me even in my grief.  God brought His light of hope and comfort to me so that I could bring His light and comfort to others.  As we walk the journey of grief, we become a light to those who come behind us in the dark.  Not that everything will be back to normal, but that even in our different life we can find hope and peace.  Hope that God is with us.  Hope that those ahead of us, will continue to shine their light for us to follow.  Peace that is not based on the circumstances of life, but on the Prince of Peace, Jesus.