Revealings On The Journey
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“Use the gift you have, which was given to you through prophecy when the group of elders laid their hands on you. Continue to do those things; give your life to doing them so your progress may be seen by everyone.” I Timothy 4:14-15
This past week God has used me to share His Spirit, love and care in a variety of settings. I led a Grief Seminar, talked with a Hospice Grief Support Group, shared about caregiver burnout at an online symposium, visited my soon to be 100 year old friend and cried with him in his grief, counseled clients, officiated at a funeral, and spent time with my siblings. Phone calls, cards and conversations were in the midst of the week too. I share all of this not to boast but to reveal how God uses our pain and grief to help others if we are open to God’s calling in our lives.
None of us would choose to go through the loss of our loved one and to experience the deep pain and hurt of grief. It is a secret club we never knew about and never wanted to join, but here we are in our grief and loss. As we journey and become more aware of reality and struggle to live in this new different, we begin to see others beginning the journey. When we talk with others who have walked this path, they have been our guide and understand our emotions and challenges. Therefore, we can help those who are behind us by just being present and listening and sharing together. We are in this together.
As I spoke this week on Caregiver burnout, God revealed to me that grief and loss have similar paths. Some of us began our grief feeling exhausted from caring for our loved one at the end of life. We shared in the pain of our loved and stayed present even when we could not change the situation. We prayed for healing and made sacrifices for our loved one. We may have grieved at each change and loss as our loved one declined and now recognize we have been on the grief journey for a long time. We may have ignored taking care of ourselves during this journey of caregiving and even in the early times of our loss and grief. As we try to live in this different life, we need to find ways of living not just existing. I have tried many ways in the past five years. Some worked well and others confirmed what I did not want to do.
It is difficult to focus on caring for yourself after the death of a loved one. Guilt enters our thoughts, and we cannot imagine moving forward in our lives so why take care of ourselves. As we become more aware of reality that this is now our lives, and the exhaustion of grief lifts some, we need to find ways of caring for ourselves. For me, prayer and trying to be present with God in the moments of life was the beginning of healing and hope on my grief journey. It is taking deep breaths – breathing in God’s Spirit and out our negativism and hurt. Some days it is just focusing on moments of beauty in nature – the sunshine, the sky, the trees, the birds. It is recognizing God’s creation around us and breathing in the air.
God reveals Himself in these moments. We are not alone in our grief and loss. Joy and sorrow mingle together in grief. Find moments to laugh even in your grief – laugh with someone, watch a movie, read the comics, remember a funny moment with your loved one. Laughter brings healing and hope to our souls. Also, cry and release the emotions inside of you. Tears are a cleansing of the soul. Live in moments. Focusing too far into the future brings anxiety and staying in the past fuels our depression. Be present.
Because God has been with me on the journey and continues to give to me the gift of caring for others, God calls me to share with you and others what God has revealed to me. My hope is that it will be of help and support to you on your journey down this different path and someday you will take the hand of another who is behind you and help them walk the path as you share where you have been and where you are going.
