The Stones At The Grave

“After this happened Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen.  He named the stone Ebenezer, saying, “The Lord has helped us to this point.”                                                                                            I Samuel 7:12

Every time I visit the cemetery whether it is my husband, Dave’s grave, my parents, my grandma, Dave’s parents or my friend, Ruth, I leave a stone.  The stone represents many reasons for leaving it.

First of all, a stone does not wither like flowers and can be a permanent reminder of the bond of love.  The stone is from the earth just as our loved one has returned to the earth.  The stone is also a reminder that someone has been to the grave to visit.

The stone is also a symbol of God’s holy presence.  In the Old Testament, stones were stacked on top of each other whenever an altar was built to worship God and symbolized God’s presence.  For example, when Joshua and the Israelites crossed the Jordan River, God had Joshua choose a man from each of the twelve tribes of Israel to pick up a rock from the River to be sign and reminder to their children that God stopped the flow of the Jordan River so that the people could cross.  The rock was the reminder of God’s presence with them.

In the New Testament, Jesus gives Simon the name, “Cephas” which means Peter or rock.  Later in Jesus’ ministry, Jesus asks the disciples, “Who do you say I am?”  and Peter replies, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.”  Jesus says, “On this rock I will build my church….”  (Matthew 16:16-18)  Yes, Peter’s name meant “rock” but the rock Jesus was building upon was Peter’s faith in who Jesus is.  To me, this also symbolizes why I take a rock to the cemetery.  The faith and foundation of life given to me by those I visit have helped me to build my life and faith.  They are the foundation stones of my life.

In I Samuel 7:12, Samuel took a stone and named the stone “Ebenezer” which means “stone of help.”  Samuel recognized God’s help on the journey.  When I take a stone to the grave, I recognize the help each person has given me on the journey of life.  The stone represents my love and thankfulness for their life.

Also, my husband, Dave, had a fascination with rocks.  During a period of time in our marriage, we walked farmers’ fields and gathered rocks for our landscaping.  Now, these were not small stones, but huge rocks that took two people to carry and sometimes took a trailer to haul.  These rocks were the first things moved in three of my recent moves.  Some of these rocks now reside beside the signs for my husband’s memorial highway in Coshocton County.

I now pick up a stone wherever I travel and take it to the cemetery.  It connects Dave to my travels and reminds me he has helped me on my journey.  He will always be a part of my foundation.  I take stones to my parents and grandma’s grave from my travels and places I have lived to remind me they are the basis of my foundation. 

The stone also reminds me of the solid love Dave and I shared.  While life’s adversities would pound at our lives, our love remained strong and did not waver.  Oh, the rock took on some difficult storms, but that just made it smoother and more beautiful.  Just like our love.  The strength of that love was grounded in our faith in God and that love remains solid as a rock in my heart. 

So I find my “Ebenezer” knowing God has helped me to this point and will at each moment through my life and my grief.