Coping Skills Help Live Differently

“We’ve always done it that way,” spoken by most of you who do not want life to change. I have heard it in families, especially in Churches, and even in groups here in Upper. Yes, even here. Many of you reading this have said it not just with life changes but in how you deal with stress, anxiety, and worry. “I’ve always been a worrier.” “I’ve always escaped by watching TV or playing on my phone.” You say, “It relaxes me.” Well, does it really or is it just your rut, default or way to escape the reality of life?

There is a difference between coping skills and escaping. Coping skills are healthy tools you use to deal with the stressful situations of life to lower your anxiety, worry and fear. In escaping, we never deal with the cause of the situation, and we tend to stuff it down inside and not find ways of dealing with life. It is like putting food on top of your stress to hold it down within you.

One step to help you live differently is to develop healthy coping strategies to deal with what life gives you. It is creating ways that you do not absorb it or stuff it down, but still function through the elevated stress. In another column, we will deal with the causes of the worry and anxiety, but first we need to function in daily life.

So, you begin to worry, and your anxiety and stress becomes intense and you panic, what do you do? One coping skill is deep breathing. Begin focusing on slowing down your breathing and taking deep breaths and releasing them. It is changing your focus from the worry to your breathing. Then focus on what is around you. Use your senses – what do you see, hear, feel, smell, touch, taste? This slows down your thoughts and keeps you in the present and not the worry about what might happen.

Disconnect from technology and rest your thoughts instead of escaping into the media. Move your body – take a walk or sit in a chair and move your arms or legs. Movement helps to release the stress and tension. I have a rebounder – a small trampoline and bounce on it as a way to release. Use your creativity – paint, draw, crafts, puzzles. When you become productive in a creative way, the results have purpose instead of mindless TV. Music – play an instrument, sing, listen to music. Music touches your inner spirit and soul. Pray. Connect to your faith and release what you cannot control.

Change is hard. You need to do something different. Anxiety and worry have become the familiar way of life and escaping seems easier, but you are avoiding life when you escape. Let’s try one step at a time. The next time you feel anxious or worry (which for some of you just reading this makes you anxious), take a deep breath, pray, slow yourself down, put down the ice cream and chocolates, take a walk, play with your dog, listen to your favorite song, and see what happens.

Elaine J. Sturtz

Living In The Different