Hearing The Gesture

“My children, we should love people not only with words and talk, but by our actions and true caring.” 1 John 3:18

“If you ever need anything, just give me a call. I will be here for you.” Someone has probably said this statement to you at one of your lowest times in life. It may have been after the death of a loved one, a trauma, or a challenging situation. The words were spoken with sincerity, but you did not believe it was an open invitation to call anytime. You never called, and they never reached out to assist you. Then someone brought you peach cobbler in the midst of your move just to let you know they cared. Their action made you feel loved and that someone really cared and followed through with more than words. Actions tend to speak louder than words.

I told him I was here for him and if he needed anything, to call me. He called and needed a ride to the hospital and needed someone to be with him during the process. I gave him my word and followed through with action. I know what it is like to be at a low time in life and just need someone to reach out and show they care by their actions. He felt alone and heard only negativity in his own head about himself and felt the rejection from others. I heard God’s call to love with words and action. It was my purpose at that moment.

I have been listening to Pastor Jim Stauffer’s sermon series on the Five Love Languages based on Gary Chapman’s book with the same title. Those Five Love Languages are – Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Touch, Acts of Service and Quality Time. We each have a predominant way we receive and give love. All are important and enhance relationships. We may use different ones in giving and receiving love. The key is to experience the love and care in the way it was given.

In our times of sadness, loneliness, and grief, I believe we need to see love in action. These love languages are expressions that can be seen, felt, touched, heard and experienced. When life has changed and everything feels different, it is difficult to accept words because they seem empty and trite. Our thoughts are full of words that tend to go in circles and no hope is found in all these thoughts and fears. It is hard to focus when you are going through loss, pain, grief, and struggles. We get lost in the words of the past and the future seems broken. Words seem meaningless.

In these low times, someone offers and tells you to call them if you need anything. It feels empty and you wonder if they said it just to be polite. You know you will never call even if you need them. You need someone to do for you what you cannot do – reach out. To care and show it by their actions. To do something even when you decline their offer. You push away but you want them to pull closer at the same time.

You want out of the mud hole of despair. You hear the words spoken and the directions given on how to get out of the mud hole, but in your sadness, loneliness and negative thoughts, it does not seem possible. You need someone to reach out and take you by the hand. You need action. Someone to shovel your snow-covered driveway. Someone to bring you cookies or a hot fudge sundae. Someone who would take you out to dinner. To watch a movie with you. Hug you. Sit with you in the Hospital. And the list is endless. You will decline all the offers when you are at your lowest, but you know it is what you need.

We hear love in words, but we experience love in action and true caring. Love with words and actions. God does. God loves us so much He sent His Son, Jesus into our world to live and die for us so that when we die, we will live with Him. God gives us His Word – the Bible, but He also gives us His presence and shows us His love in creation. God loves you even in your lowest times and even when your heart is broken. God comes to you through other people, His Holy Spirit, the beauty of nature, through worship and music, and even through cookies and Hot Fudge Sundaes.

Hear the action. Receive the love. Need some chocolate chip cookies?

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