Afraid To Trust
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“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not rely on your own insight. In all your ways acknowledge him, and He will make straight your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6
The deer crossed about twenty feet in front of me as I was running my new path and jumped into the bean field on the other side of the road. The deer stopped and turned his head to look at me. Our eyes met for an instant, and I felt such peace like my dearest friend was looking at me and still was with me. The deer was not sure he could trust me and that I would not hurt him. He was cautious but still lingered for a moment. To me, the deer reminded me that wherever I go, God reveals Himself to me in nature. God reminds me that He is all around me and provides the beauty of nature for my enjoyment.
As I looked at the stack of boxes in my new house, it seemed like a huge undertaking to unpack and create this house into my home. But because of previous moves and experiences, I trusted that it would be completed in a timely manner, like less than a week. I was not afraid to take a break and go for a bike ride and enjoy the sunshine or stop for a milkshake or stop for a visit with a neighbor or chat with a family member who dropped by to check on me. Because I have moved many times, I trusted my ability to finish the task and begin living and enjoying my new space.
It has been completed in less than one week. There are no more boxes to unpack, and all the boxes have been taken to the recycling center. Everything has its place, and I have no fear or dread of coming home because it is neat, clean, and organized. I trusted myself because of previous experience and knowing that God blessed me with the ability to focus, organize, and complete projects.
Life has fears and things we dread to do and experience. We are afraid to trust others because of past hurts. We fear new experiences and situations because of no previous knowledge. We fear messing it up or not knowing how to complete it. We fear not having the energy or perseverance. We are focused on ourselves and our own strength. Over my lifetime, I have learned to trust God in all situations. Sometimes, I do not rely immediately on God, but eventually pull myself back to depending on Him. God is the One who has the strength and cares about all the details of our lives. Even when we move and need energy to keep going.
I do not need to understand everything, but I do need to trust God in everything. I know God loves me and wants the best for me. Sometimes it does not look like where I want to go, but I am learning to pray, “God, you got this. I trust you.”
This move has led me to reflect on another aspect of being afraid to trust. We are afraid to truly enjoy life and lean into the present moment. Oh, we trust God with our salvation. We trust that God is with us in the tough and painful times of life giving us comfort and support. We even trust God to give us strength to endure the trials of life. We still ask why, but we still trust. But to trust that God wants us to enjoy His blessings and not worry about what may happen next? We are afraid to release our worries and fears because that is our way of trying to control the situation.
We are afraid to trust God in the good. It is almost like we do not deserve to enjoy life when we see what is happening in our world. We may not feel like we have done enough to deserve the joy. We forget that God gave us life to live abundantly and fully in His presence. It is trusting that God loves us so much that He gives blessings and joys. Not all of life is hard and painful. There is good when we look for it and stay focused on the moments.
When we have experienced loss, we may think we cannot laugh and enjoy the good moments because we are grieving and miss our loved one. Remember joy and sorrow mingle together. Our loved ones are enjoying Heaven and being in the Presence of Jesus. Trust God to give you good and enjoy those moments. Find joy today. Laugh today.
Trust that God loves you so much that God gives you blessings and joy, too!
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