Laughter In The Soul

“He will yet fill your mouth with laughter, and your lips with shouting.”  Job 8:21

I had dinner with a group of widows this past week, and the evening was filled with laughter.  They said how good it felt to laugh and not focus on the loneliness.  For a few hours, life was filled with joy and their souls overflowed with laughter.  I talked recently with a woman whose daily life is chaotic, but she shared an evening with her closest friends and laughter filled the room and her soul.  The daily life of each of these ladies had not changed, but they each had moments of joy and laughter.  I have laughed more recently with a friend and my soul feels relaxed and free.

Laughter and grief are rarely partners.  Laughter is good medicine.  It has been documented in medical studies that people who laugh daily and focus on happy moments tend to recover quicker from surgeries and illnesses.  When we laugh, our whole body feels the moment of good.  Mixing grief and laughter seem contradictory.  Joy and sorrow need to mingle together and provide balance in our daily living.  It does not mean we forget; it just means for a moment we experience life at its fullest.

When we live only in the pain and sorrow of our grief, we forget the joy of the relationship we had with our loved one.  We need to remember the laughter we shared together.  My husband, Dave, would begin to tell a story, and get tickled about the story and begin to laugh before he could share the entire story.  I would begin to laugh not at the story, but how he got tickled and laughed at himself.  It still brings a smile to me.  Our memories have so many happy moments.  The bad fads and the good remains.  We remember the difference our loved one made in our life and the impact they made to those around them.  We remember the feeling of being with them.

Laughter comes from deep within our souls.  It is a feeling of inner joy in a moment.  People have all different types of laughter.  The sounds of laughter can be loud and bold or muffled and quiet, but it still comes from deep inside our souls.  When we express the laughter, it releases the tension and anxiety and brings a sense of peace and contentment.  Laughter is a vital emotion that brings hope and healing.  When it is not a part of our grieving process, we do not give our souls a sense of relief and release from the intensity of pain and sorrow.

We are on the journey to figure out how to live and not just exist in life.  We exist in the past memories and are trying to live in the present.  What can assist this transition is to remember some of the joys of the past.  What made you laugh with your loved one?  What makes you smile when you remember?  Focus on those feelings and allow yourself to smile now as you remember.  Then find friends who are willing to laugh and cry with you at the same time.  Watch a funny movie or show.  Read an elephant joke book.  Look in the mirror and attempt a smile.  These are all moments to add to your journey.  Allow the joys of the past – those feelings to mingle with who you are today.  Find moments to laugh and give yourself permission to feel good for a moment.  Your body needs a break from the sadness. 

Laughter is a gift from God.  It reminds us not to take ourselves so seriously and to laugh at ourselves.  Laughter reminds us we are alive even in the sadness.  Laughter replenishes our soul.  Laughter expresses the inner joy of knowing God is with us on this journey.  Our loved one remains in our heart.  We are loved and released to find joy in the life we now are trying to live.  Today, laugh.  Laugh at yourself and allow the laughter to fill your soul.