Feelings Of Christmas
/
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and he saves those whose spirits have been crushed.” Psalm 34:18
“It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas” as the song begins. We have an idea of what Christmas looks like – all the preparations of decorating, shopping, the lights, the meal, and the list goes on and on. It looks a lot different this year in many ways, too. The snow this past week in Ohio makes it look like the Christmas season. Does it feel like Christmas? I have heard so many people say, “It doesn’t feel like Christmas?” What is Christmas supposed to feel like?
Feelings are emotions and reactions to situations. We do not choose our feelings, but we can choose how we react or allow those feelings to come out of us. Feelings are inside of us, and many times we are afraid to admit this is how we feel. It is OK to feel whatever you are feeling. It is just figuring out what you do with those feelings.
As a child, we feel excitement and anticipation at Christmas. We focus on the presents, the cookies and candies, the family visits, the Christmas plays, and being out of school. Christmas is the main event of the year for many children. It can also be a sad and lonely time depending on family circumstances.
As we walk the grief journey, Christmas becomes a time where we do not feel like celebrating. We feel the loneliness and the hole in our lives without our loved one. It seems impossible to celebrate when life is so different and our hearts ache. We want to just get through it or just not have Christmas. We feel we cannot do anything and have no desire to put on a happy face and celebrate. It feels so wrong to do anything related to Christmas when our loved one is not present. Then in another moment, we may feel we need to do everything the same and try to make Christmas as “normal” as possible. But nothing is normal, and every effort seems an impossible task.
We feel like if we do not celebrate Christmas, we are missing out on something, but in reality we are just missing someone. You may feel numb and just going through the motions of existing this Christmas season. Give yourself permission to feel however you feel and to do or not do whatever is right for you. Your heart is broken. You may feel alone even with family around, or this year family is not going to be around because of COVID. Being alone may feel right this season. It is OK not to do the outward celebrations of the season. Decorations and baking and cooking seem meaningless this year, and they are in light of your broken spirit.
We feel exhausted. Just thinking about the events and people and expectations we place upon ourselves brings exhaustion. It is recognizing that grief is wearisome and makes us feel tired and unable to complete even the simplest of tasks. Therefore, the thought of all the Christmas preparations is overwhelming. It seems impossible. If you are exhausted, then rest and let go of the expectations and just be present in the moments that you can this Christmas.
You may feel disappointed this Christmas season. We are disappointed in how 2020 turned out. We are disappointed in our life, our future, how we react, and the sorrow and brokenness of our life. Christmas brings disappointment for so many people. We are disappointed in our family, and that our gathering does not live up to our expectations. We are disappointed that those we love do not understand and are not supportive in the way we need them to be. Christmas is more than family. God never disappoints even when we do not understand why God allows the heartaches of life.
Christmas is really about a God who comes to be with us – Emmanuel. God is with you in your feelings and emotions. God is close to you who are brokenhearted. God is with you whose spirit is crushed and you who feel isolated, alone, and sad. Christmas is about God breaking through the pain and hurt and disappointments of our world and coming to be like us. Jesus came to experience the same things we experience. He understands the heartache of death and the deep feelings of grief and pain. This Christmas feel God’s presence not the presents under the tree. Feel the warmth of God’s light not the lights on the trees. Feel the touch of God upon your heart when you long for the touch of your loved one. Feel however you feel this Christmas. Give yourself permission to feel it, but also feel Jesus break through the pain, hurt and sadness to be with you giving you His comfort and peace. Jesus comes not to take it all away, but to walk beside us and give us a hope of a hope.
