My Grief Companion
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My husband, Dave and I rescued our dog almost seven years ago on our wedding anniversary. Therefore, we named her “Annie” for anniversary. Dave was now retired and needed a companion while I was at work. Annie came into our home and won Dave’s heart pretty quickly. My heart was still with our first dog, Specs, who lived with us for sixteen and a half years. I never had an inside dog before Specs. As a child, we always had a dog on the farm but it lived outside. So Specs or Inspector General II which was his official name, came to live in our house and in my heart for many years.
Then came Annie. Annie was a barker and it took a while to house train her, but soon she slept on Dave’s lap during the day while I was gone. One day, I called Dave during the day and asked if he would do something for me. He told me, it would be a little while before he could because Annie was asleep on his lap and he didn’t want to wake her.
As Dave’s health declined because of the tumors pushing on his brain, Annie stayed close by him. But her barking would send him over the edge and he couldn’t deal with the intense pain that it caused him. But when the hospital bed arrived in our condo, Annie slept under the bed to guard and protect. She wanted to be close to Dave. She spent some hours sleeping in bed too with Dave.
When Dave died, Annie was under the bed and didn’t want to leave. She did not like the funeral directors taking his body out of the house. Annie grieved. She was sad and didn’t eat well for days.
After the funeral, I came home and it was just me and Annie, and that is how it has been ever since. Annie was not use to being alone so I began taking her to work with me and she has become my therapy dog in counseling. Annie travels with me much of the time.
It was with Annie, that I cried and she curled up next to me in bed and licked my tears many nights. It was with Annie I was angry and she still loved me as I expressed the anger in my grief. It was with Annie that I had long conversations and she just listened and would lick my face in response.
Annie has become my companion on this journey. She has kept me from jumping into any unhealthy relationship because I didn’t need anyone else since I had her. Annie has kept me active by running and walking and because of her I had to get out of bed in the morning. My faithful companion has helped me keep a schedule in this chaotic journey of grief. While we rescued her seven years ago, she has rescued me through my grief. Annie has been my main stability.
There have been days when I wonder why I have a dog. I think I would have so much more freedom if I didn’t have a dog. But then I understand that by having Annie I did not jump into something that might not have been healthy for me. I have had to be home which has given me the opportunity to reflect, write, and grow in my personal relationship with God.
God has given us a companion in our lives, the Holy Spirit.
“I will ask the Father and he will give you another Comforter, and he will never leave you.”
John 14:16 (TLB)
The Holy Spirit is the Spirit of Jesus that is within us. The Spirit is always with us. We are never alone on this journey.
