Loneliness of Christmas
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“Have mercy on me because I
am lonely and hurting.” Psalm 25:16
I love Christmas, always have and always will. I love the true meaning of Christmas – God loved us so much that He sent His Son into the world to be born like us so that Jesus could be the perfect sacrifice for our sins. Christmas means God comes to us in the darkness of our lives and brings the light of Jesus.
I love the traditional Christmas hymns – “Silent Night”, “Away In A Manger”, “O, Come All Ye Faithful”, “Joy To The World”, “Go Tell It On The Mountain” and so many more. I have sung these Christmas hymns in every Church and Christmas caroling as a youth and with youth groups. The songs tell the Christmas story of God’s love. I remember every Christmas program in elementary school ended with the whole school singing “Let There Be Peace On Earth.”
I have enjoyed Advent, the lighting of the Advent wreath and the expectancy of the coming of Jesus. Worship and fellowship with church family has been the center of Christmas all my life. As a child, I loved Christmas Eve worship and Christmas Sunday celebrating with my extended church family. As a pastor, I loved Christmas Eve and spending my whole day at church celebrating with church family. When I worked for Hospice, I always volunteered to work Christmas and loved making calls on families and bringing hope in the midst of their darkness.
The loneliness of Christmas comes in the way society celebrates Christmas by leaving out Jesus and the expectations that come with the season that everything needs to be perfect – the perfect decorations, gifts, family and meal. I have become aware of the loneliness that Christmas brings in my own grief. Some of the people who I enjoyed being with each Christmas are now in heaven. I notice how people celebrate within their family unit and those who are alone because of loss by death or divorce or who are single are not invited into other family celebrations. But the loneliness is most evident within the heart – what is deep within and rarely spoken aloud.
I love the Christmas lights, concerts, parties, decorations and baking, but grief makes us numb to the beauty and joy of traditions and celebrations. It is not that we don’t enjoy the traditions. We just miss sharing them with those we love who made the moments so special.
As a child my Grandma, Mom and Dad were the people who made Christmas special and who I wanted to be with at Christmas. As an adult, I still had my parents and we had our special moments just the three of us before the family celebration. After they passed, I had my husband to share the moments I loved about Christmas. After Dave died, I had my dear friend, Ruth, who claimed me as her granddaughter. We shared Christmas moments together and were connected in heart and spirit. This year, Ruth is celebrating Christmas in Heaven along with Dave, my parents, grandparents and a host of special family and friends. This fills my heart with joy and hope for them. My loneliness at Christmas is mingled with joy for my loved ones. Sadness they are not here, but joy that they are celebrating with Jesus.
I still love Christmas. I love the hymns, the lights, the decorations and the moments of hope, but I especially feel the loneliness without the people who made the moments so special. I want to celebrate and enjoy the Christmas season, but I want to share it with those who are no longer physically with me. Yes, I still participate in many of the things I love in the season and find moments of joy, but the sadness is a part of me, too. I have the desire to do much more but not alone. I celebrate the coming of Jesus in the dark and lonely world of my heart. Jesus is the light in my darkness.
On that first Christmas night, Jesus came to bring light into the darkness of the world, and he still comes today to bring light in the dark loneliness of your heart. Christmas is the story of God coming to those who are lost, hurt and alone. May you open your heart to let Jesus come to bring you comfort and peace in your sadness and loneliness.
