Sighing

“…they shall obtain joy and gladness, and sorrow and sighing shall flee away.”

                                                                                                Isaiah35:10b (NRSV)

“…and the Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words.”                       

                                                                                                Romans 8:26 (NRSV)

Let’s all sigh together – 1….2….3….. sigh……………………………………………..

I have found myself sighing so much more in my grief and in this different life.  It has been hard to put into words all the emotions and to name what is going on in my head and heart.  So I sigh.  Some of the sighing is now part of the acceptance that life is what it is and I can’t change it.

My dog, Annie, sighs too.  She sleeps in bed with me, and when she finally settles down for the night she curls up beside me and lets out a deep sigh.  It is her way of saying, “I’m done for the day and going to sleep now.”  When I hear Annie’s sigh, I know I can finally go to sleep, too.

I sit more and just “be”, just be quiet in my mind.  Just be in the present moment.  Sometimes I am not thinking about anything in particular and just have a feeling of emptiness sweep over me, and then I sigh.  I reach out and take my Heavenly Father’s hand and sigh.  God’s Spirit speaks for me in those sighs.  No words need to be spoken.

Sadness and sighing go together. The longing for what once was brings the sighing.  When I want to share a special moment of life with Dave and anticipate his reaction, and then I remember he is not here, I sigh.  I still share it with him but it is not the same.  The sadness and loneliness makes me sigh.

Sighing is a physical reaction to grief.  We recognize life is not what we anticipated it to be, but it is what it is.  Sighing is the physical way of releasing the emotions that build up inside of us in our grief.  It is the awareness that we are feeling the pain and hurt of grief but do not want to talk it out or even attempt to put words to the emotions, so we sigh. 

Sighing is a gift from God.  The Bible records many times that Jesus sighed.  He sighed when the religious leaders asked for a miracle. (Mark 8:12)  He sighed before healing a deaf man.  (Mark 7:34)  He sighed when the disciples didn’t understand about the bread. (Matthew 16:11)  Jesus sighed when those around him did not understand.  It was a sigh of compassion and awareness that the works of heaven cannot be explained fully on earth.

I also sigh in acceptance that this is now the life I have.  I sigh in my prayers, too.  I have so much in my heart that I want to share with God but no words will come.  I sigh knowing God’s Spirit is speaking for me.  The Spirit is deep within me listening to my soul.  It is in these moments, I again reach out and take God’s hand and hold on.  And in this moment, I know God hears my sighing and understands.

Sighing is a necessary part of our grieving process.  Our grief can never be fully expressed in words.  Only heaven understands the depth of hurt and pain and sorrow that are deep within our hearts.  There are no words in the moments of deep grief, only sighing.  Sighing creates a language of the heart that only God understands and can bring comfort and peace.

Keep sighing……